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ORIGINAL: LadyPact


As for My own submissive, I have no problem with him speaking to anyone, regardless of gender or role, if they know how to respect the dynamic that he is in and conversing with them is not to his detriment.  We have run into people who can't.  Yes, I will forbid him further contact with someone when these situations come up.  I can count on one hand the times I've had to invoke this.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Never said he was being a hypocrite and I'm not saying you should argue about it. I'm just saying that I think the logic behind the rule itself is flawed since it doesn't do anything to stop the incoming mail (as the undesirable mails come from people who don't read/respect profiles) and either way it just gets deleted. I get that it works for you and that's good. I'm not trying to debate in the terms of you but in the general sense since you definately aren't the only couple who has this rule.

But I do have to disagree with you about not chatting with people when you're taken. I feel that sets up the "forbidden fruit" thing and just leads to trouble and temptation. I also feel that if a relationship is so fragile that it can't shoulder people having friends of both genders then it's probably going to be fail for other reasons or someone is going to end up cheating anyway and the no-chatting rule only delayed things.

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ORIGINAL: Rainfire

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Never said he was being a hypocrite and I'm not saying you should argue about it. I'm just saying that I think the logic behind the rule itself is flawed since it doesn't do anything to stop the incoming mail (as the undesirable mails come from people who don't read/respect profiles) and either way it just gets deleted. I get that it works for you and that's good. I'm not trying to debate in the terms of you but in the general sense since you definately aren't the only couple who has this rule.

But I do have to disagree with you about not chatting with people when you're taken. I feel that sets up the "forbidden fruit" thing and just leads to trouble and temptation. I also feel that if a relationship is so fragile that it can't shoulder people having friends of both genders then it's probably going to be fail for other reasons or someone is going to end up cheating anyway and the no-chatting rule only delayed things.

AS, I'm not sure I agree with the generalization that relationships are fragile if we as a couple decide not to chat with Dominants of the opposite sex.  Lumus and I have a similar rule in place like Aynne and her Master. It has not a single thing to do fragility of our relationship, it's not about my inability to protect myself, but about love, caring, respect and above all, for my own protection. My very own friendliness and politeness work against me. Some people think that being friendly and polite means that I want more or am looking for more than what I say I am. And there are some that have a hard time believing that anyone would have a profile on CM just supposedly for the boards.

"Forbidden fruit" can be any number of things. For us, I don't  chat with male dominants. There's no need to, unless there is something in common, it's in direct response to a thread or a mutual friend. It doesn't set me up for wanting something I can't have, far from it. There is no other Man on this planet except Lumus for me. And I'm comfortable with His love for me and our bond together. I know I'm His only girl. That's what works for us. This is a rule that was made out of love and protection, not jealousy. If I couldn't accept it, then I shouldn't have accepted His collar or name in marriage. I accept His rules because that is part of my submission to Him. I know He makes them out of love. Because of that love, it makes my submission deeper and more meaningful to me, if that makes sense.

Yes, we have friends of both genders. Shoot, for that matter, Bear was my attendant at our wedding. Bear and Lumus joke and flirt but we all know it's good fun and not taken seriously. (You can't take it seriously when you see the picture of Lumus sitting on Bear's lap at the reception!)   There's only one or two female friends that Lumus has that I'm not comfortable with and He knows who they are and why I'm not comfortable with them. But neither of us are online that much, I'm on the boards regularly and that's about it. We're too busy with life and each other!

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I also feel that if a relationship is so fragile that it can't shoulder people having friends of both genders then it's probably going to be fail for other reasons or someone is going to end up cheating anyway and the no-chatting rule only delayed things.

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ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Aynne *smooch*  I got what you were saying.. seriously, I did....

(sexy wench!!)