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RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 8:00:23 AM   
marysdream


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline 		i would hope you are intelligent enough to know that any form of self improvement has to be motivated from your own desires...i feel very sad about my sister subs who have not learned to develop the confidence from within and want to strive for the best health for us! i have experienced  D's on here that are impressed with a strong sub, who has developed her own self control...i am sure you are a beautiful woman...you can instill the motivation it takes to loose weight w/o a Dom being responsible for that!
good luck!
ree

(in reply to JulieElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 8:18:27 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Neuvavida,

Umm no, i did not leave anything out of my equation.   You need to go back and reread the very post you quoted because if you really don't get what my point was based on your post i never said anything about protocol or the superficial aspect of motions such as hey bitch do this -- yes Master.  I spoke of the DYNAMIC, which is a whole concept and mindset that deals with mastery of a woman by a Man.  You seem to think its a superficial concept of actions and not the whole lot more it actually is.  smiles, do you really have any clue what is entailed in a dynamic and the mindsets involved when someone greets their Master per their training and his mastery.  It goes far beyond the kneel and encompasses the whole of a woman's life within her Master's mastery of her.  

quote:

This is, in my opinion, quite emotionally different than the protocols of how one would greet her master every day.


This statement tells me you really don't get what is involved with regard to protocols and how they many times effect the emotions and the way the girl views the world around her.  Yeah i know about all you speak about, however, what you are missing is this -- The pleasure of the Master many times is a powerful thing.  His mastery is also a powerful thing.  And within the course of the dynamic which entails a whole lot more than "protocols of how one would greet her Master every day"  funny i don't remember stating protocols, i said if i believe in the quote YOU quoted -- HOW i greet my Master every day.  You presumed i was speaking of simply a protocol?  Perhaps this concept is why you completely missed what my post was about -- it wasn't simply about actions of my day, it was about the dynamic and HIS expectations and standards i was required to reach and maintain.  This is a concept of wholeness in the relationship,  you have done what i stated shouldn't be done, you have decided that weight loss should be separated out from the rest of what a slave is to her Master.  What i stated -- and not you really don't based on your post get what i was saying -- was the dynamic is a whole concept.  You don't separate out parts because you think somehow weight loss is special.  Its not.  If its part of his expectations and standards, then within the course of the dynamic because of his expectations and standards her focus on her Master many times will accomplish things she was incapable of doing on her own for whatever reason.  BUt what's more its incorporated the same way everything else in her relationship with him is -- as part of his expectations and standards she must reach and maintain and yes, if she fails based on her disobedience, she is disciplined just as everything else.  The main thing is his expectations and standards which are accomplished by the WHOLE of the dynamic and relationship  NOT the protocols or actions simply.

Sorry, to me weight loss doesn't need to be corralled out of the general relationship and treated special and coddled and the pat on the head, well when you are ready slave girl i will be right here to support you when you are ready.  Honestly, i would probably snort if my Master said that to me and i would simply keep remaining stagnant.  For some, sure it may work, for many women who ae slaves, they need many times the kick in the ass AND the expectations and standards to achieve what they won't or can't do on their own. 

As i said, there are SOME women (which is what i have always said) who the "valid" concern would be more harm than simply understanding that the external drive and motivation of focusing on her Master or Dom is what will obtain her success for if these women sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting for it to happen from within -- which many women know if it will or won't -- they are simply wasting time they could be accomplishing their goals.  


angel


I didn't see anything in the post of yours that I quoted that said anything to do with the kinds of emotions that can be attached to weight loss, and how they might affect someone's ability to lose.  Hence, it was left out of the equation.  If you wish to make statements about what I apparently "get" and don't "get", that's your prerogative, but you're wrong.  I am well aware of how powerful the pleasure of a master is.  I was owned by a master for four years, who I worked extremely hard to please.

But that's neither here nor there.  We're both saying the same thing about how weight loss should not be separated out, but I think you missed that part.  What I'm saying is that SOME things are more difficult to achieve than others, and IF the master goes away, will the slave be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle on her own?  To me, any master worth his salt will help his slave develop a healthy way of living, so that should he fall dead tomorrow, she can continue along the path of health and not go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.  Do you agree or disagree with this?




_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 8:22:14 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

That is a lovely sentiment and story, thank you for sharing. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Personally speaking, one of the most effective statements I have received, and it's from a dominant I am currently seeing, was said when I expressed concerned (before we met face to face) about being oversized and feeling unattractive as a result:  "You just enjoy being you, and love what's on the inside.  You have the rest of your life to change what you don't like on the outside."  So simple, and it hit home for me.  I joined WW a couple of weeks later and I'm 12 pounds down and counting...  And the dom?  He is not pushing me to go, but he celebrates the loss with me every time I weigh in. And when we cook together or for each other, he supports my food needs.  For me, this is more effective than the attempts at motivating me in the past, by others.



Thank you, Vendaval.  As someone who has struggled with weight issues all of my adult life (ranging from being in fantastic shape to severely overweight, and everything in between), it was a surprisingly powerful experience for me.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 9:22:15 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Hi NuedaVida -- sorry i misspelled your name before,

I guess what i am trying to say is within the dynamic its kind of hard for  a woman who lives within the accomplishments of his expectations and standards to NOT learn things and for things NOT to become habits.  That's what i meant by the power of the dynamic.  That power many times is a great way for a person to achieve goals they suck at doing themselves -- having to HAVE the drive to begin it on your own is a lot harder than having the drive to maintain it after you have done it.  Sure does it happen wherein people lose motivation -- yeah -- do or could they regain the weight -- sure, BUT as long as someone is with the Man why is it so bad to utilize him to begin and maintain the accomplishment.  As i said, its taken me 8 YEARS after leaving my Master -- 7 with him to accomplish the goal -- 8 years AFTER -- to undo all i accomplished and to unlearn the habits i picked up by living up to his expectations and standards that accomplished my mag body and good healthy shape.    Any slave of a Man doesn't just lose the ability to achieve what she has been achieving under his master just because the relationship ends.  It seems people think this dynamic a woman robotically just does it -- that's not what i am saying at all within the DYNAMIC.  I honestly don't know about Dom/sub relationships -- maybe that is how it goes, i only know slavery.  Let me ask you this -- in the 4 years you were a slave to a Man, living with him day in and out, living and breathing his expectations and standards and all the tools you used to accomplish this -- did you not learn anything or learn any habits that lived on beyond his ownership of you simply because it was part of your life for 4 years?

All i see from people is the concept -- oh no you shouldn't do this because what if -- well hell what IF it works and it take 8 years as it did for me to undo what it achieved and unlearn the habits that his expectations and standards created?   That is 15 years of pretty much being healthy and in shape, would you honestly say don't do it because of what if's in my case were 15 years down the road?   That is what i am expressing  what about the COULD be's that override the what ifs.  

We all have flaws and weaknesses, why is it okay for the Man to be a driving force or focus to compensate for a flaw or weakness in a woman who is his in some areas but when its something like weight loss -- people act as if to depend on a Man to help compensate for a KNOWN flaw or weakness simply because he is a Master and can help build the environment she needs to have the drive she doesn't have on her own-- even if that drive is HIM -- to achieve success?   Is the pat on the back good job you are self-sufficent and the bomb at being independent way being able to find the drive within -- yeah, i AM NOT and HAVE not knocked that way.  What i have said is for those who have a known weakness wherein they suck at it in this area of their life -- sometimes the way to do it IS the Man being the drive you don't have because his strength compensates for your weakness and with him -- YOU ARE STRONG enough to accomplish this success. 

quote:

  What I'm saying is that SOME things are more difficult to achieve than others, and IF the master goes away, will the slave be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle on her own?  To me, any master worth his salt will help his slave What I'm saying is that SOME things are more difficult to achieve than others, and IF the master goes away, will the slave be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle on her own?  To me, any master worth his salt will help his slave develop a healthy way of living, so that should he fall dead tomorrow, she can continue along the path of health and not go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.  Do you agree or disagree with this?


Long story short lol not -- i tend to have long posts -- your first question is yes as much as she has the chance to do so if she does it on her own and then after a time doesn't maintain what she taught herself.  Please point out to me where i say a Man who has expectations and standards is not incorporating the tools a slave will need to develop a healthy way of living?  I have NEVER said that.  hell i thought i implied clearly that this is a life where the woman reaches and maintains his expectations and standards -- do you honestly think there isn't change and tools and ways of doing things for her to do this that the Man incorporates?????  

Seriously, i think i am seeing where the disconnect is -  do you seriously believe i am saying he said "this is what i want do it" snd then he leaves her to it?  That is not what i speak of at all.  Its a full fledge hands on approach from him, not just a do it and walk away to leave her to accomplish it.  To me, this type of MAster doesn't do that in any of his expectations and standards for her but is a hands on concept.   The Master sets the expectations and standards and CREATES the environment of her life as a slave which allows her to accomplish his expectations and standards no matter what those are be it weight loss or greeting him.  She finds strength because of him as her MAster and his strength to achieve based on his expectayions

Perhaps that is where the confusion lay.  Anyway, people have their own things that drive them, some find it in themselves to lose weight without any external drive, some people don't.  I am the latter and thrive under the expectations and standards of another because mine are usually pretty wishywashy as to why i want something versus knowing i want something -- so i am not all that great pinning down the whys enough to have the drive in somethings in my life -- being in shape and weight loss is one of them == grins, now my career lol hell i can tell you the whys etc and have the drive.  I have my flaws and weaknesses, usually a Master will compensate with his strength where i fail to have any and i am okay with that.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 10:37:16 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
To me, any master worth his salt will help his slave develop a healthy way of living, so that should he fall dead tomorrow, she can continue along the path of health and not go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.  Do you agree or disagree with this?





hi NuevaVida. i know that this post was not directed towards me, but i just had to respond. i disagree strongly with the above sentiment. the idea of a slave...an owned person...wanting to ensure that they will be healthy, that they will be safe, properly cared for, able to take care of themselves, etc. should something happen to their Master...is a very odd thing to me. imo a slave should not be concerned about life after the Master, a slave should not be concerned with "what ifs," a slave should be concerned about the here and now and doing whatever is necessary to please and serve their Master properly.

now as for Masters, if it is important to them that a slave have certain skills or a certain amount of inner will so that they will not fall apart should the relationship ever end, that is completely their right to ensure that those things are in place. but if a Master has no interest in this, if he feels it could be detrimental to the foundation of the relationship that they have here and now...so he decides to even discourage these skills and abilities within his property...that is his right as well, and it does not make him a bad or irresponsible Master.

personally, if i were very overweight and lost weight only because my Master demanded it of me, then say he released me and i gained the weight back...so what??? the important thing is that while i was his property i was able to please him and meet his needs, because THAT is what is paramount for me as a slave....NOT "looking out for number one."





(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 6:34:53 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Seriously, i think i am seeing where the disconnect is -  do you seriously believe i am saying he said "this is what i want do it" snd then he leaves her to it?  That is not what i speak of at all.  Its a full fledge hands on approach from him, not just a do it and walk away to leave her to accomplish it.  To me, this type of MAster doesn't do that in any of his expectations and standards for her but is a hands on concept.   The Master sets the expectations and standards and CREATES the environment of her life as a slave which allows her to accomplish his expectations and standards no matter what those are be it weight loss or greeting him.  She finds strength because of him as her MAster and his strength to achieve based on his expectayions



Hi again, angel.  Yep, this is exactly where the confusion was lying.  Either I didn't see or it wasn't spelled out enough for these tired eyes to get, what you said above.  A lot of people have this mindset that the master speaks and the slave obeys, without taking into account the assistance the slave may need in order to obey something emotionally difficult.  I realize you didn't say this was  your mindset, but when I didn't see the clarification you just provided above, I misunderstood your point.

I admit my own perspective is a bit biased these days, having found myself suddenly on my own and having to deal with that.  Of course I have hung onto the lessons I learned along the way, but I have also had to force myself to unlearn certain things, too, and I am, in fact, still in that process.

Thanks for the follow up clarity.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 6:43:34 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
To me, any master worth his salt will help his slave develop a healthy way of living, so that should he fall dead tomorrow, she can continue along the path of health and not go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.  Do you agree or disagree with this?





hi NuevaVida. i know that this post was not directed towards me, but i just had to respond. i disagree strongly with the above sentiment. the idea of a slave...an owned person...wanting to ensure that they will be healthy, that they will be safe, properly cared for, able to take care of themselves, etc. should something happen to their Master...is a very odd thing to me. imo a slave should not be concerned about life after the Master, a slave should not be concerned with "what ifs," a slave should be concerned about the here and now and doing whatever is necessary to please and serve their Master properly.



Hi prop,

I used to share this mindset right along with you, until my "here and now" became something other than what I thought it would be.  I understand your thinking here, as I once thought the same.  I no longer do, due to my own experiences.

quote:


now as for Masters, if it is important to them that a slave have certain skills or a certain amount of inner will so that they will not fall apart should the relationship ever end, that is completely their right to ensure that those things are in place. but if a Master has no interest in this, if he feels it could be detrimental to the foundation of the relationship that they have here and now...so he decides to even discourage these skills and abilities within his property...that is his right as well, and it does not make him a bad or irresponsible Master.

And I once agreed with this sentiment, as well.  But I do offer an apology, as I tend to loathe such statements as "any master/dom/slave/sub/person/etc. who does X is Y" and here I went and did that myself.  As I mentioned to angel, my views are a bit biased these days, due to my own experience.  I am not one to live for "what might go wrong" but I do honestly believe in ensuring any person, pet or property has sustenance should the owner go away. 

quote:


personally, if i were very overweight and lost weight only because my Master demanded it of me, then say he released me and i gained the weight back...so what??? the important thing is that while i was his property i was able to please him and meet his needs, because THAT is what is paramount for me as a slave....NOT "looking out for number one."


While this statement gave me something to think about, I disagree with the notion that a slave taking care of herself (be it eating healthy, bathing properly, exercising, etc.) considers herself to be "number one." 







_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/11/2009 10:10:49 PM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...Weight Watchers, for sake of arguement, will still be there when your owner decides he wants a new toy and you are old news and you want to bury yourself in ice cream.

Now, before anyone takes that personally, shit happens in relationships. I don't think any particular type of shit is going to happen in any specific relationship. But I think it's a consideration that should be weighed realistically.

I don't want to side-track this thread but I am amazed at this!  To believe that some commercial concern will outlast your dom's interest in you!  Weight Watchers is a business and even though it has a rugged business model, it is just like any other business and can cease trading with little notice and far less concern about its customers. 

If a sub is going to restrict the control a dom may have because the relationship will one day end (we can be certain that a relationship will end one way or another, even if by death in old age) then I think that relationship is likely to end sooner than later.  Of course shit happens in a relationship - that's no reason to deliberately make it so.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/12/2009 8:22:54 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Interesdom

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...Weight Watchers, for sake of arguement, will still be there when your owner decides he wants a new toy and you are old news and you want to bury yourself in ice cream.

Now, before anyone takes that personally, shit happens in relationships. I don't think any particular type of shit is going to happen in any specific relationship. But I think it's a consideration that should be weighed realistically.

I don't want to side-track this thread but I am amazed at this!  To believe that some commercial concern will outlast your dom's interest in you!  Weight Watchers is a business and even though it has a rugged business model, it is just like any other business and can cease trading with little notice and far less concern about its customers. 

If a sub is going to restrict the control a dom may have because the relationship will one day end (we can be certain that a relationship will end one way or another, even if by death in old age) then I think that relationship is likely to end sooner than later.  Of course shit happens in a relationship - that's no reason to deliberately make it so.



I'm happy to use any tools at hand........I'm not all at ashamed of leaping on anything that'll encourage or motivate me in the things I'm after NOW. I can't be fagged to waste even MORE time working out which source of encouragement is likely to be around in the future.

If M's not around at some future date, I'll rocket on and find another motivator, if that's what I need.

agirl

(in reply to Interesdom)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/13/2009 5:05:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Interesdom

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...Weight Watchers, for sake of arguement, will still be there when your owner decides he wants a new toy and you are old news and you want to bury yourself in ice cream.

Now, before anyone takes that personally, shit happens in relationships. I don't think any particular type of shit is going to happen in any specific relationship. But I think it's a consideration that should be weighed realistically.

I don't want to side-track this thread but I am amazed at this!  To believe that some commercial concern will outlast your dom's interest in you!  Weight Watchers is a business and even though it has a rugged business model, it is just like any other business and can cease trading with little notice and far less concern about its customers. 

If a sub is going to restrict the control a dom may have because the relationship will one day end (we can be certain that a relationship will end one way or another, even if by death in old age) then I think that relationship is likely to end sooner than later.  Of course shit happens in a relationship - that's no reason to deliberately make it so.



Oh the dangers of not actually reading posts...

Shit happens. 50 percent of marriages fail. People die. I went into this at length with another poster. Read further in the thread and if you still believe I lack faith in my relationship, I invite you to come meet us in Greensboro. I'd more than happy to introduce you to Val, provided he's got the night off.

You also failed to notice that I never spoke of restricting a dominant's control. I spoke of what we believe is a good idea and that we (meaning him and I, not just me) believe in not taking tomorrow for granted. Shit happens and if it does, if he dies or aliens scramble his brain, the man he is now and the man I submitted to wants me to be able to continue with the progress I've made.

Given the length of time that WW's has been in business, this cynical romantic believe it will continue to outlast most relationships. Let's face it - even if you only have three relationships before finding your "one", that's three that didn't make it. Making the one the minority.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Interesdom)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/13/2009 10:04:07 PM   
respectyourowner


Posts: 122
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I helped out a girl in my past lose 50 lbs. She looked real good afterward and then left me for another guy.


(in reply to JulieElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/14/2009 8:51:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I have a friend that at one point was with this Dom that said if she lost 25lbs he'd collar her. He put her on a diet. Well, it turns out that this girl was insulin resistant (approximately 25% of the US population is thought to be). The diet he put her on actually caused her to gain weight because he thought overweight was about calories in/calories out. She now had 35lbs to lose. This led to accusations of cheating, which led to desperation on her part. She then started a bulimic cycle, where she deliberately threw up almost everything she ate. Then she read somewhere that Meth causes weight loss. It does. She lost all 35lbs. She was also a Meth addict, too afraid to quit because she'd gain weight. The Dom dropped her anyway.

Master and I spent two years helping her get clean and talking her into going to the doctor to find out that her weight was a medical issue.

Doms/Masters are not Gods. They don't always have the answer. I think it's great to have a support system, but that support system needs to be informed. In the case above had she continued on his diet for a long period of time it could have led to diabetes. Permanent damage.


_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to respectyourowner)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/14/2009 11:11:09 AM   
cantilena


Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I have a friend that at one point was with this Dom that said if she lost 25lbs he'd collar her. He put her on a diet. Well, it turns out that this girl was insulin resistant (approximately 25% of the US population is thought to be). The diet he put her on actually caused her to gain weight because he thought overweight was about calories in/calories out. She now had 35lbs to lose. This led to accusations of cheating, which led to desperation on her part. She then started a bulimic cycle, where she deliberately threw up almost everything she ate. Then she read somewhere that Meth causes weight loss. It does. She lost all 35lbs. She was also a Meth addict, too afraid to quit because she'd gain weight. The Dom dropped her anyway.

Master and I spent two years helping her get clean and talking her into going to the doctor to find out that her weight was a medical issue.

Doms/Masters are not Gods. They don't always have the answer. I think it's great to have a support system, but that support system needs to be informed. In the case above had she continued on his diet for a long period of time it could have led to diabetes. Permanent damage.



No, Doms and Masters don't always have the answer.  But it's my belief that in the right relationships, they sure can reinforce good behaviors with regards to health. The OP asked if masters have helped their subs with weight loss and to share success stories.

If there's any doubt about underlying health issues, seek the counsel of a doctor before attempting significant weight loss or significant increases in physical activity. That's just plain common sense. But the bottom line is that part of the answer to IR and pre-diabetes is.... Changes in Diet And Exercise.  The answer to general weight loss is usually.... Changes in Diet And Exercise.

Doms can help with those healthy changes in behaviors, sure.  Their subs won't all turn into meth-addicted bulemics when they do.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/14/2009 12:33:34 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I helped my submissive lose weight, and helped a couple of guys I was in egalitarian kinky relationships lose weight. However, they initiated it, much like you are, rather than me exerting pressure. While being overweight can have an impact on men's self-esteem as well, I think that there are some differences in the emotions involved for *most* men vs. women in that situation. I could be mistaken, and I'm not trying to stereotype, just that I didn't feel we had the same issues as some women who want their partner to help them lose weight.

As to the "wait until you want it for yourself, then you'll be successful" thing, in general, diets don't tend to be successful long term regardless of motivation. Waiting just means you will weigh more, that the bad habits will be more deeply set, that you will be older and your metabolism will be likely to be even slower, etc.

I personally didn't use specific weight goal parameters, or punishment, just became a workout buddy, directed some of the workouts (within reason, more coming up with ideas than doing it in a drill sergeant), encouraging them to buy healthy food to keep at home (sure, they can cheat, but it's a lot easier to avoid eating junk food if you don't have any in the cupboard taunting/tempting you). I was pretty flexible about the "what" to do, and if one thing didn't work, we'd come up with ideas to see if we could find something that would. It's easy to plateau, especially on the exercise front, so changing things up frequently is a good idea. If they had a health issue, or needed professional assistance such as a nutritionist, I would have strongly suggested that they make an appointment.

I don't see anything wrong with a more micro-managing approach, if that's what both people want. If you are in a LDR, he can still support you in similar ways (require scanning in grocery store/restaurant/etc. receipts, keeping a food/exercise log online, require that you attend weight watchers or a similar program, require that you find a local workout buddy, specifically schedule a phone call for right after your workout so he can praise you for doing well/associate it with a reward of getting his time/focus/attention, and so forth).

Even if you do gain weight or fall back into poor habits after the relationship ends, you're still ahead of the game compared to where you are right now. My suggestion is to find a combination of internal motivations (find exercises that you actually like and can do at different times, some indoors vs. outdoors, preferably in a place that is convenient logistically; find healthy foods that you actually enjoy, etc.), external motivations (praise from him, getting or giving yourself small specific rewards for accomplishing particular goals, etc.), and trying to figure out some of the reasons for the weight gain and strategies for avoiding them (ie. did your parents make you eat everything on your plate? That's very common, and using a salad plate and giving yourself a very small serving to start with can help) Are you aware of when you are full? Many people aren't in touch with their body in that way, especially if they eat quickly. Make a point of eating slowly. Brush your teeth right after the meal, even if you're still a little hungry, and if you're still hungry later, you can eat something else. If you need a therapist to explore your tendency toward emotional eating, find one who is experienced in that respect.)

Don't overwhelm yourself with making too many changes all at once, it's usually better to start with one thing to focus on, and keep adding as each new healthy thing becomes a habit. Make sure you don't overdo the exercise, especially the first week or two. It can take a little while to get a base level of fitness to the point where you can do more, and you don't want to injure yourself.

(in reply to JulieElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/14/2009 1:09:43 PM   
untamedshysub


Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		the weight is a by product of something else going on inside of you. No one can fix that but you. I have gained and lost several people in my life time in terms of pounds. For me it had to do with dealing with  why I used food for love and acceptance in the first place. Dealing with what hurts is very difficult, but I think this time I have reached the core and pulled out the root so now I am ready to be healthy emotionally and physically.

having someone else monitor my weight did not work for me I lost 20 and gained 50.

good luck with what ever you decide

(in reply to Caillin)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/15/2009 9:56:00 AM   
Stargazer0914


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/26/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, there are sometimes medical reasons why weight becomes an issue. However, in many cases it is due to poor eating habits - and there hypnosis CAN be a valuable tool in changing the behavior. This is especially true with a naturally submissive person who usually will take to hypnosis very well indeed. Obviously best done with a professional, but it CAN help big time - especially if there are underlying traumas in the person's past that are affecting them (albeit subconsciously) today. Hypnosis can deal with those traumas quite effectively and turn the person's life around.


(in reply to untamedshysub)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/15/2009 9:59:54 AM   
sugarpixi


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/10/2009
From: Fredericksburg, VA
Status: offline 		It's interesting that you all are talking about hypnosis associated with weight loss.. I have a couple of 'self hypnosis' CDs that I listen to, one of them geared towards helping to lose weight and be a healthier person overall and it just doesn't work!
Maybe it's the self hypnosis part. I find them to be extremely relaxing, though, even though the narrator's voice is annoying. So while they don't help me at all, when I need to relax, I'll stick one in and listen. I'm still on the hunt for something that might work a bit better as I've been trying to lose weight on my own and not have to burden any potential Masters or Mistresses with the extra 'baggage', haha.

_____________________________

-Pixi

(in reply to Stargazer0914)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 3/15/2009 4:02:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
As i said, its taken me 8 YEARS after leaving my Master -- 7 with him to accomplish the goal -- 8 years AFTER -- to undo all i accomplished and to unlearn the habits i picked up by living up to his expectations and standards that accomplished my mag body and good healthy shape.  


So you understand that living with someone for 8 years instilled things in you that lasted for another 8. But you don't understand that living with people for 20plus years might take that same amount of time to undo?

The fact that you live with parents doesn't mean things weren't still inculcated in us. Things that are more than just habits, but deepset emotional issues.

And that's why a smart dom doesn't focus on weight or looks, but shares concern about health. Because doing otherwise might make her physically better, but emotionally a hell of a lot worse.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 5/12/2009 2:44:49 PM   
BigRich57


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/3/2009
Status: offline 		This is what this Daddy does with his slavegirl.  Master gives her a very small allowance weekly for her personal needs so she has very little forjunky foods.  Along with working outside the house she has many duties assigned to her around the house and yard that keep her busy and active.  she prepares the meals and prepares only one plate.  she then kneels to my left at the table and Daddy blindfolds her.  she eats from my plate what and how much her Master selects to feed her.  she drinks from my glass as well.  If she complains because she doesn't like a certain food she knows she will receive a spanking so she eats everything willingly.  Daddy then watches some TV to relax after work while his slavegirl cleans up and comes to me with her leash.  I apply her leash to her collar and we go for a walk.  I also encourage her to drink lots of water in the evening when we are together.  She has to ask permission to go use the rest room and I use this as a control method over her.  Sometimes on our walks, since she isn't allowed to wear panties with her short skirt, my slavegirl must urinate outside and I enjoy this control over her.

(in reply to Caillin)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? - 5/12/2009 5:20:06 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

I have helped a female sub lose weight by having her be accountable for her caloric intake by keeping a diary and seeing actually what she was eating. she came up with suggestions and foods she should cut and I supported that and offered feedback. I also challenged her to begin walking more often, working out more often.  her biggest struggle was sweets, so W/we worked to cut her sugar cravings. There are ways to be successful with weight loss while having a Domme assist you!

OP I wish you luck!


_____________________________

I keep My expectations and thread counts high- "catitude"

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 80
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