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insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 3:34:22 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.

Very surprised by the entire thing.

I personally don't send nasty notes to people in their mail boxes on here (or generally elsewhere for that matter). I don't know understand the thinking behind it.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/
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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 3:40:26 PM   
Loraith


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		There was a person on here recently who appeared to be very bitter toward CM. She (I believe it was a 'she') began sending nasty emails to people...much along the lines of the one you received. Dunno if it's the same person, but you can look at the thread titled something like 'why are there so many bitchy people?' to find out.

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(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 3:51:40 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		pardon me for saying this, but some people on CM can be cruel and insensitive to others. i know...some people here have been a bit bitchy with me due to some of my depressive outbursts.

where are the caring people located at?

< Message edited by michaelGA -- 1/22/2006 3:52:08 PM >

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 4:10:12 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		I'm going to guess that the man or woman who wrote to you (thetammyjo) was insanely bored and doesn't have much of a social life... perhaps not much of a life at all.

The person in question gets his/her jollies from insulting various people so as to try to make the people he/she contacts feel just as miserable as he/she is. Or maybe it's just some bored snot with way too much time on his/her hands.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
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"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to michaelGA)
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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 4:24:22 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I find it hard to believe tammyjo that you have been here this long and haven't heard
this subject discussed at infinitum, ad nauseum and have heard all the reason's why....

You were probably contacted by a Teen or HNG, I wouln't take it personally, or be upset by it.

Tuffin' up that skin. I think you would have done that by now.

*Brightspot

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But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 4:40:52 PM   
seaturtle50


Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline 		Why are there sad, sick and/or extremely unhappy and hurtful people in the world? There just are. And misery loves company. The really sad part is that the sender of the message probably sees himself or herself as a really together and well developed individual. Probably even thinks they are a kind person. Too funny!

I like to remind myself that just because someone may call me a big, overstuffed chair, I neither feel like one, or become one.

"Hurting people hurt people"


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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 5:09:23 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

pardon me for saying this, but some people on CM can be cruel and insensitive to others. i know...some people here have been a bit bitchy with me due to some of my depressive outbursts.

Just a thought, but if you didn't turn every thread you posted in into a personal pity party, perhaps people might be more willing to cut you some slack.

~stef

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 5:50:58 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.
Has this happened to others?
I'm sorry it happened to you. I'm surprised it's only your first time, and hope you won't get too many more of the type, but my guess is you probably will, so best to find a way to cope and dispose of it quickly. M


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(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 6:17:26 PM   
talmar


Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		I think that is a very classless thing to do. And I am sorry that happened to you.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 7:03:38 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I've had the same thing...hate mail from a sender who blocked me so I couldn't reply.

I really can't understand the mindset of someone who sends these sorts of things, but I'd say there is absolutely no reason to take them personally.

Tasha

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"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 7:33:49 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.

Very surprised by the entire thing.

I personally don't send nasty notes to people in their mail boxes on here (or generally elsewhere for that matter). I don't know understand the thinking behind it.





tammyjo, it's a sad fact that people will behave worse when they believe they can remain anonymous.
I think part of what you're asking though, is why would someone even expend the effort to do a random unkind thing? so.... must be a teenager that someone let out of its cage :)
It's clearly nothing personal.

best
Smythe




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Euripides

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 8:12:08 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for everyone's replies. I actually didn't take it personally because I don't know this person, have never seen them post anything, and they don't know me.

I've seen threads about being being insulting when their initial approach is rejected or ignored and insults tossed about on threads.

I just didn't see one about an initial contact being insulting and given that this was a first to me both here and frankly anywhere in the several years I've been in the public scene, I was and am quite curious as to the reasoning behind it.

Of course people have attempted to insult me or be mean to me in later contacts. Its all an attempt however because unless I have a history with someone, their comments don't mean that much to me.

Perhaps I've been lucky? Or naive?

It is very disappointing to find out that others receive such insulting and rude initial contacts. *sigh*

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 9:05:31 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I know of one other person on this site, as well as myself, who got the same one-liner of "Wow, r u ugly" from the same person. I mentioned it to Master, and His reaction was the same as yours. Why would someone even take the time to DO that? We've decided the individual must really need to boost their own self-image, if they have to resort to insulting total strangers.



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Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/22/2006 11:06:41 PM   
subtlesubie


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I wouldn't give it too much credence. Remember, you are talking about the same species that gave us the holocaust, Hiroshima, 9-11, rape of Manchuria, Armenian genocide, Rawanda... (etc)


Seems to me, one of us might be capable of sending an impolite message over email.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/23/2006 7:38:17 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

thetammyjo: I've seen threads about being being insulting when their initial approach is rejected or ignored and insults tossed about on threads.

I just didn't see one about an initial contact being insulting


Oh, plenty of us get them, but as it was already suggested, most of us just shirk them off & move on.

Welcome to the IEIC (initial email insult club)

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MstrssPassion


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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/23/2006 8:18:13 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I think most of us have probably gotten them at one time or another. Mostly I think it's someone that I've turned down before, as the date of signing up to CM would be that day, or the day before. (I always view the profile prior to opening e-mail)

I feel it's either kids playing on line, or a very VERY immature person that is intent on "playing" that way. It is their own little perverted fetish to "hit and run." They probably only have contact with folks through their antics online. AND, if they see posts like this one, talking about their antics, it probably just fuels them.

I do know it can be disturbing, but it doesn't warrant much thought, except to hit 'delete.'

K

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/23/2006 9:31:53 AM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		*sigh*

Some folk just have the bad combination of too much time and too much anger.

fergus

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/23/2006 2:08:02 PM   
MissA


Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		Don't sweat it...idiots will be idiots.

I was once contacted by a male submissive who went on and on about my beautiful eyes and how I was a Goddess and he'd do anything to kneel at my feet...yadda yadda yadda. When I told him "no thanks" he replied back with:

"Well you look like you have a fat face!"

Real mature

~Ms. A~

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My Domain

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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/23/2006 10:51:44 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?



Wow... I don't think it was someone that visits the board, because your posts are always friendly, on topic, and non-controversial -- It's too bad there's chit-heads out there like that...

Just a side note.... If by the slimmest of chances any guy from Oregon { Dom or Sub} ever harasses you, don't hesitate to message me -- I'd love to talk to him.... ; }


- The Ranger


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: insults in the mail as first contact? - 1/24/2006 1:02:49 AM   
ModeratorThree


Posts: 949
Status: offline
quote:

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.


There are people in this world that seek attention, any attention. If you reply you feed them, if they block you so you cannot reply they get some sort of rush from it.

This is a common occurance, and we do take it seriously. If we find that members send out numerous email for the sake of being insultive or hateful they lose the ability to send email. Same with the Nigerian or other scams.

The best thing you can do is remind yourself that the world is full of idiots, and while they were entertaining themselves with you they left someone else alone for a few moments.

You should read some of my mail ; )

Mod3

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