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What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 9:32:05 AM

DomM&SubK

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/21/2008
Status: offline

My Sir and I meet at a swingers party and we have done the full swing thing many times but now that we are building a 24/7 relationship and getting a house we have talked about not being so active in the Swing Lifestyle and being more monogamous with each other and keeping others out of our bed. So here is my dilemma. Sir was asked by a Married Lady that is not in our circle of friends or even network to teach her to be a the sex slave she wants to be and to open her eyes to what else is out there since she has never been with any one but her husband. I asked to be present and he talked to her and she feels that she can’t be her self with me around and so I being the Submissive I am told him he can go with out me because I trust him. But I do not trust her because of the fact she will be with out her partner as well and she is now also asking my Sir to set up a Gang Bang for her as well. So here is my dilemma I want to yell at him WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why does he need to teach this woman and how many times will she need to be taught? It has taken Sir the whole time we have known each other to do most of the things I wanted to learn but I am also very head strong and with the kids and our families we are vanilla most of the time. I am looking to learn to be able to share him with out wanting to claw the other ladies eyes out but I feel to have that I need to trust the other lady. So if I could get any in put that would be Great Thanks ~Master M’s Slave~

Post #: 1

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 9:50:01 AM

YoursMistress

Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

K,

Why do you think something is wrong with you? You are entitled to have feelings and even rights within the relationship. If this is a boundary for you it's OK. If you decide that you cannot tolerate it you are obliged to open your mouth. Do you suppose that your Master would actually prefer that you maintain silence, resent it and build up negative feelings over time that will surface in some dramatic way when neither of you expect it?

It's also OK for you to want to allow your Master freedom to do what he's doing, and to agree to some terms as to how to bring this woman in. For many people this would be a real deal-breaker. If it is for you, please let him know. If it's not, work with him to bound this activity into a tolerable (maybe not comfortable) condition. Choose wisely, but act on your choice. Good luck sweetie.

yours

< Message edited by YoursMistress -- 3/8/2009 10:16:53 AM >

_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 2

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 10:13:54 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

As a dominant... I would run faster than a roadrunner from that little set up.

It isn't you. So much for the talk of mono if some lil wench can come in an upset the apple cart in one swoop... She isn't asking for just some play time... you know how much it takes to go there most of the time... She is asking far too much.

I was a swinger... and no way.. no how, would my man get near the wench.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to YoursMistress)

Post #: 3

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 10:34:49 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

First of all what Lockit said. Also, this woman is totally lying to you if she is claiming never being with anyone but her hyusband yet she wants to fuck your Master and have a gang bang? Please, the skank is lying. I would not allow it, submissive or not.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 4

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 10:38:31 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I might not be understanding this properly. The D in this dynamic has already been screwing others, with your consent. Now he wants to do the same thing, just with someone who isn't from 'your circle.' Were you enough when he was boinking others before? Why is this case different? Did he leave you for anybody else prior?

The issue shouldn't be trust in a third party. Trust is what lies between you and your D type. There's no unwritten rule that says everyone else on the planet is going to respect the dynamic in place. (Personally, I'd LOVE that kind of a rule, but I doubt it's going to happen.) It honestly shouldn't matter if this other person is in the circle or not. You either trust the D type to have sex with others or you don't.

From your post, I'm thinking you see this new female as a threat. The other people you were swinging with might not have been quite so similar to your own case. You very specifically mention that this person wants to learn to be a sex slave. Something that you alluded to being the way you've been learning as part of your place. Was that how your current dynamic started out or has it become a part of what it is now?

I believe you have some jealousy to address.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 5

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 11:58:29 AM

simplyunique

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

It's always easier to enjoy outside play when you are still involved. It takes out the doubt, the worry that there will be 'something else' going on. It sounds like you trust your Master, as you should, but the motivates of this woman has you worried because in my opinion it sounds a little shady. Does her huband know she is seeking this? Most vanilla men I know aren't exactly willing to freely hand their wives out to total strangers. Maybe you should talk with your Master and ask that the FOUR of you get together and discuss what this will all involve. If her husband doesn't know anything about it, the least she can do is meet with you as well as your Master and discuss what will go on in detail. Explain that you aren't asking to be physically there but that the situation makes you uncomfortable and that perhaps getting to know her first would ease your worries. The last thing you want to do is to keep quiet, let that fear build and seep over into your relationship and have you blow up at your Master and interfere with your relationship. If it feels wrong, tell Him, and let Him decide what to do.

_____________________________

If conformity is comfortable and silence is golden, then I rather be twisted into a loudly screaming silver pretzel.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 12:57:22 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomM&SubK

My Sir and I meet at a swingers party and we have done the full swing thing many times but now that we are building a 24/7 relationship and getting a house we have talked about not being so active in the Swing Lifestyle and being more monogamous with each other and keeping others out of our bed. So here is my dilemma. Sir was asked by a Married Lady that is not in our circle of friends or even network to teach her to be a the sex slave she wants to be and to open her eyes to what else is out there since she has never been with any one but her husband. I asked to be present and he talked to her and she feels that she can’t be her self with me around and so I being the Submissive I am told him he can go with out me because I trust him. But I do not trust her because of the fact she will be with out her partner as well and she is now also asking my Sir to set up a Gang Bang for her as well. So here is my dilemma I want to yell at him WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why does he need to teach this woman and how many times will she need to be taught? It has taken Sir the whole time we have known each other to do most of the things I wanted to learn but I am also very head strong and with the kids and our families we are vanilla most of the time. I am looking to learn to be able to share him with out wanting to claw the other ladies eyes out but I feel to have that I need to trust the other lady. So if I could get any in put that would be Great Thanks ~Master M’s Slave~

You're kidding, right? You and your partner both freely indulge in random bodily fluid transfer practices of what's politely called "swinging" but now you've developed standards?

Yeah, it sucks when feelings and emotional attachments get in the way of humping anything willing but here's a few proven golden oldies to consider. One is that "you reap what you sow" and another is that "you can't make a race horse out of a draft horse"....

I think you're really pissed because you consider the D/s aspect of your sex life to be something slightly more special than merrily jumping on a stranger's cock but you're worried your partner just sees more free meat within a dynamic you consider private and monogamous. That suddenly you're not the only sub/slave in the life of someone with practically zero sexual morality.

If you don't wanna be jealous and threatened etc, then find someone who won't inspire that in you!

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 7

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 1:27:36 PM

babygurlrides

Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

First of all what Lockit said. Also, this woman is totally lying to you if she is claiming never being with anyone but her hyusband yet she wants to fuck your Master and have a gang bang? Please, the skank is lying. I would not allow it, submissive or not.

I am inclined to agree there. This is something I made really clear with Daddy... I cant/wont share him. I have no problem with ME being shared.. but I could never handle him being with another woman. It would kill me. He knew this, and has respected this, thus far. Its a touchy situation for sure, because you want to be obedient. It sounds to me like you have some talking to do. Be honest.... but be prepared to accept the consequences. For me, it would be a deal breaker... end of subject.

_____________________________

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!
(my favorite t-shirt slogan)

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 8

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 2:02:24 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

Like FOCUS said.
Read his tag line...very appropriate as well.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

(in reply to babygurlrides)

Post #: 9

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 3:26:14 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Have you communicated your feelings on this? Why do you blame yourself? Sounds like there are more than a few issues that need to be addressed. Please have a serious talk and get this out and deal with it.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 10

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 5:16:31 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

If it smells like poop, chances are it is.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 11

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 5:28:47 PM

Huntertn

Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline

NO mater what you call it..Either you trust him..or you don't!!!!!whatever the other entends...if he is trustworth...they really don't count..If he is not.. well...then act the way your acting.Frankly,its a little to late for that it seems..

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 12

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/8/2009 8:42:26 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Demand that not only you be there but her husband as well. Insist the four of you sit down and discuss this.

Beyond that, you're married. What you need comes before some random bit on the side's needs. Tell her to find someone else who isn't married instead of insisting on doing things that you two don't do. You swing, which means you are both out there and can watch what each other is doing. Him sneaking around with your husband behind her husband's back is not open and above board.

Seriously? I'd call up her husband and ask him to get his wife out of your marriage. She won't like the results but she can reap what she sows.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Huntertn)

Post #: 13

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 10:38:01 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I think you should tell you Master how it makes you fele. For me this would bre a total deal breaker . I told Master in the "getting on the same page" stage in our relationship that if i submitted to him i would have to be the only one. I also stated that he would be the only one i would be with. You really need to have a BIG talk about this before she destroyes your relationship.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 14

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 10:48:56 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

My thoughts are that trusting him has nothing to do with it. Sometimes you are in a situation, that given the tempation and encouraged invitation makes you stray without thinking of the "big" picture.
I would think she may have an agenda, and if he choses to go for it, i would strongly voice my concerns and have him consider your feelings over her not wanting you present....sounds like a rotten apple. You are sub, not slave....you have choice to voice your concerns and feelings.

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 15

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 10:51:36 AM

quietcontrary

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2009
Status: offline

It seems to me there is a very common trend among the responses you've gotten. COMMUNICATE!!!! In case you missed that, it's the same thing people have said, sugar and shit coated; COMMUNICATE. Talk to him, talk to her. Stop blaming yourself, deffinatly, there is nothing wrong with feeling how you feel no matter the previous dynamic of the relationship or the current dynamic, you need to be clear about your views on this. Talk talk talk, you're a female, it comes naturally for us!
~*~MQC~*~

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 16

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 12:31:46 PM

DomM&SubK

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/21/2008
Status: offline

Ok Yes when I posted this I was very angry and so very confused because Sir had just told about this Ladies request. We have talked about it this is a one time teaching session and he has passed her off to another guy we know. The Best Part Is I will be there when she arrives I will also be the one chaining her to the bed as well as the one to tell her she has been passed off to another man and I also got to chose the men to Gang Bang her. Let’s just say they are not the largest members in the group LOL. Sir and I will get to watch the Home Wrecker get her ass beat and if I am the good Slave to try so hard to be I will get to BEAT her as well. Her husband will still not be there but I don’t care I knot that all sir and will be doing is watching and I plan on getting on my knees and pulling Sir’s Hard Cock out right in front of her and sucking him till he spills him self down my throat and than turning to her and asking her how bad does she want my COCK? And I truly hope she begs for it because she will only taste him from lips. Now to the “What is wrong with me” statement! I have a sorry had a Best Friend that is a swinger and is dating a married man who has become so toxic to me and well my relationship and trust in My Sir I feel that is why I kept second guessing us as well as my self. Yes sir and I do bring others to our bed when we need other partners to make a fantasy come true like I am waiting for my Dp as well as a Gang Bang my self. And the only reason Sir was waiting for them was for me to truly be ready for them. I am still a Heavy girl by all standards but I used to be HUGE I had Gastric Bypass over a year ago and have lost a lot of weight and still have the extra skin left over and sir knows how much my mind set has changed as well as my sexual appetite. I have always loved sex but due to my size I was scared to act them out because I didn’t truly love my self and never truly felt that any one would love me. But this was after having my Ex husband sleep with my sister while I was pregnant with my daughter. And Sir knows that when I get in the what we call “Sexy” mind set I feel unstoppable as well as I sex slave I love being but than the play is over and I catch a look of my self in the mirror and I think Omg I am Gross and ugly with all of my skin and rolls just hanging off of me. So after talking to Sir about how much I have truly been hurting thinking that I was only his FAT SLAVE and nothing more I now have to tell him when I feel the Ugly feeling coming on and that’s when I am to repeat after him that I am His Princess and His Goddess as well as his Savior and that even though He is My King I need to know that with out me he would not be whole and vice versa. Than I Got to see the truly softer side of him that he tries so hard to keep hidden the hurting side and found out that he feels the same way I do at times when we go out and he has men flocking to us to talk to me and steps back and remembers that if I wanted these men I could have them but he knows who I will chose for ever is him and the feelings are gone. I was so shocked I was like what men that flocks to us when we are out. That’s when he told me that the guys he talks to and the ones I “Hold Court” with when we are out are not always people we know but guys that are asking him if they can have me because I am so hot they say. And even the ones that know us have asked him many times to have me and he says no that is why he has been keeping me to him self since we got back together after our break up. Now to the Brake up I have had a Younger Single lady come between Sir and I once and I Left him because of it. I was carring for my mother and he was an hour away because of his job and only was able to come and see me once a week if we were lucky. So this Home Wrecker that was a friend of a friend needed help with a “Honey do List” and was given Sir’s Name and Number she feel for him right away. They Became friends and I even meet her a few times when I would be able to get up too see him. Well one night after a few drinks and her and I making out we went back to her place and started to play well I left to go to the rest room and came back to find sir pasted out on the bed where I left him and the lady was no where to be seen so I was like ok and I went and took a shower to freshen up and sober up a bit before crawling in to my Sir’s Arms. Well I sure the Hell was surprised to find the BITCH ridding my man and him saying “Oh Yes Baby Harder Fuck Your Daddy” and all the things he says to me. So I grabbed my clothing go dressed and went in the other room trying to not let my anger out because I truly was thinking of killing them both. I had enough of her Porno Moaning and walked and yelled as loud as I Could Get the Fuck off My Man Bitch! Lets Say Sir snapped out of what ever drunken stupor he was in and was shocked. I Almost broke the Girls nose with my right hook to her Face and I left them both at her place went back to our house and packed up all of my things and moved out taking My/Our Daughter with me. By the time he walked his ass home because she was too scared to see me I was gone and I had locked the doors and had the keys with me. It took us a Very long time for me to trust him Again I still do not trust her and in Fact she is Scared Of me to this Day. We were in therapy for a very long time and I never really bought his “I thought it was you” story till one day I had a lunch date with the Whore at my therapist’s request and asked her want happened and why she wanted him. She told me that she was Crazy and I agreed to that and she told me you do know he was saying you name not mine right that’s why she moaned so loud was to cover up him saying your name. I than decided to take him Back on a if we “Swing” we both agree and we never drink and play ever again and that’s how it has been ever since. I hope that this truly answers all of the questions as to why I posted the post I made.

~Master M’s Slave~

_____________________________

~Master M's Lady and Princess~ ~I am still finding my voice so forgive me if i put my foot in my mouth at times~ ~I Love My Big Daddy~

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 17

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 3:00:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I am truly thankful for the quality of people in My life. After reading this, I am ever so thankful.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DomM&SubK)

Post #: 18

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 3:21:51 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

SubK, I have only read your OP thus far. I actually found it refreshingly honest. A lot of times, folks 'candy coat' things and your acknowledgment of wanthing to scream "What's wrong with me" coupled with the desire to claw out the eyes of another struck me as very real and something with which I can strongly identify.
While screaming isn't usually the best way to communicate, having the reassurance from your partner that you need doesn't strike me as out of line, nor does doing personal work on anything you've ot rattling around in your brain that is undermining your sense of self and value. So, I think it is two-fold.
The desire to claw eyes out coupled with lack of trust. Again, this I understand very much. Sometimes the eye-clawing thing is jealousy. With your earlier statement, you should consider looking at that. Also, though, I know I am a very Alpha female and that when someone I have been with in the past has been with another that I either don't like trust and/or don't like, I have wanted to claw that other's eyes out.
Look at why you're having those thoughts and feelings and have a dialogue with your partner.
Best wishes,
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: What is Wrong with me - 3/9/2009 10:31:26 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I am truly thankful for the quality of people in My life. After reading this, I am ever so thankful.

Seconded, LadyPact. That last post was one of those that just makes you go

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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