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RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/22/2006 9:57:15 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Are you carrying a grudge? Posting a lot of crap on the boards about the object of your dislike? i'd bet most people doing this cannot even say what began it. It denigrates the tenor of the boards and makes the poster look like an ass.

i say, let it go; post things that help people, amd grow the f**k up.

If you recognise yourself in this type, try being a whole person with a full complement of brains and understanding.

candystripper


Grudges… Hmm I’m not known to hold grudges, real grudges that is. Years ago in RP I’d have a grudge against some character (Not the person on the KB) for months and yet either I’d message him or ring him are he’d contact me and we’d chat leaving our RP characters behind. I don’t think that the Delectable CS was think of that when she posted. So do I carry grudges? Not really. You would have to attack a member of my family and hurt them real time for me to become angry, not pissed off but icy dangerously angry. It only happened twice the first was when Lady Neets and I started RP and one bloke hurt her because she hadn’t separated reality from the fantasy in RP at that time (she soon learned). The person involved found what he had done to her and was on the messenger and email pronto profusely apologizing so it ended up ok. The other was in one of the open fantasy RP rooms in old MSN and one 22 year old punk got into the head of a 14 year old girl and mind fucked her so badly that she jumped from a 4th floor apartment building. The male who did that is still running from several people who want to have serious words, or so they tell me, with him. Why was I personally upset? The girl was one of my God Daughters. I don’t hold a grudge in such cases or even when in life away from cyber space, I take a vengeance oath which remains in force until the matter is addressed to my satisfaction. Grudges take up too much energy to hold just like frowning. Vendettas are another matter entirely. You can get pissed off for a short time or some one just repeatedly annoys you and on the net it is easy to block them out if you must just like avoiding some people in real life.

edited to add: I'd much kill or piss someone off with kindness it is easier and more fun (A better mind fuck).

< Message edited by IronBear -- 1/22/2006 9:59:11 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 5:04:37 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Ohmigosh. Irony at it's best

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Are you carrying a grudge? Posting a lot of crap on the boards about the object of your dislike? i'd bet most people doing this cannot even say what began it. It denigrates the tenor of the boards and makes the poster look like an ass.

i say, let it go; post things that help people, amd grow the f**k up.

If you recognise yourself in this type, try being a whole person with a full complement of brains and understanding.

candystripper

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 6:08:39 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well hello and howdy doody Candy...........

Is it because of your subject that I myself have not been here recent? ummmm,I'm mindfucking myself to work that one out!
A happy new year to all.

Iron Bear- I think you have said all that I would. (Dips His lid) Semantics are such negative time wasters sometimes.


_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 10:47:09 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Are you carrying a grudge? Posting a lot of crap on the boards about the object of your dislike? i'd bet most people doing this cannot even say what began it. It denigrates the tenor of the boards and makes the poster look like an ass.

i say, let it go; post things that help people, amd grow the f**k up.

If you recognise yourself in this type, try being a whole person with a full complement of brains and understanding.

candystripper



I recognise Myself in your discription, I havent posted anything about what started it (and yes, I do remember what it was) other than a reply in My defence. Ive been away from collar Me for months to absorb what was said and to try to get over it. Is that grown up?.

HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:13:40 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I find this amusing knowing how many people have said almost this exact same thing to you in the past.

LuckyAlbatross


We crossed swords the first time i posted here and despite every effort, you are still carrying a grudge. As i said, makes you look like an ass. Back on block you go.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/23/2006 1:36:02 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:15:56 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Why don't you post this in off topic?

KittenwithaTwist


Who cares?

candystripper

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:20:28 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i TRY..........but i am NOT going to change inside.
YOU and everyone else...may say...i am not grownup--and you are entitled..but so am i.
"I" have YET to find 1 person...on this planet..that has ever PROVED to me they learned forhet and forgive so do NOT...expect ME to...ya know/

take care

vernonicaofML


Actually, lonewolf, about 5 years ago i let go of all anger i felt towards people -- including my ex. i wrote letters of forgiveness and i felt lighter than air. As for the forums, i just get frustrated with people who twist words or fixate on a single word and invest it with a meaning it did not have. However, the forums are virtual; not real. If i had to choose, i'd still forgive people in real life, as anger eats at your soul. I know of no way to achieve any equity but i know carrying hatred is bad for you.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/23/2006 1:21:32 PM >

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:24:05 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Sometimes, I think that grudges can be useful. They help you remember not to trust someone who has hurt you in the past. They can help you remember ot protect yourself better.

Not always, but sometims.

perversecangelic


i am not suggesting you allow anyone to harm you twice; it's the anger that i think is destructive and clutters the boards.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/23/2006 1:37:02 PM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:28:05 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Grudges take up too much energy to hold just like frowning. Vendettas are another matter entirely. You can get pissed off for a short time or some one just repeatedly annoys you and on the net it is easy to block them out if you must just like avoiding some people in real life.

IronBear


i completely agree. Hurt someone i love and you'd better look over your shoulder a long, long time. But silly bickering on the boards, fueled by a desire to belong to a clique or some other dumbass reason is a nuisance.

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:31:16 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ohmigosh. Irony at it's best

MsIncognito


No kiddiing. Thank goodness for block; some people will never learn.

candystripper

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:33:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
We crossed swords the first time i posted here and despite every effort, you are still carrying a grudge. As i said, makes you look like an ass.

candystripper


See having a good memory and good judge of character is completely different than holding a grudge. The fact that you can't see the difference is one of your biggest and continuing issues.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:34:53 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I recognise Myself in your discription, I havent posted anything about what started it (and yes, I do remember what it was) other than a reply in My defence. Ive been away from collar Me for months to absorb what was said and to try to get over it. Is that grown up?.

HalloweenWhite.


Yes, i suppose so...but such a lengthy delay in returning is unfortunate. That may be why we have block. Welcome back.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/23/2006 1:35:12 PM >

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:39:24 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

See having a good memory and good judge of character is completely different than holding a grudge. The fact that you can't see the difference is one of your biggest and continuing issues.

LuckyAlbatross


i find you give terrible advice but i think we will just have to agree to disagree...back on block you go.

candystripper

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 1:46:33 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		If i had to choose, i'd still forgive people in real life, as anger eats at your soul. I know of no way to achieve any equity but i know carrying hatred is bad for you.
============

YOU are entitled...
and i suppose..most people follow your advice and example.

but

"I" don't feel i HAVE a soul, since i am an atheist......but even if you refer to emotional harm...it still doesn't matter to me. i am what i am..a mean ogre that ain't going to change this late in life..
that old tired cliche..
"i'm too old to change"
but since "I" have no one in my life romantically...no one has to put up with me except me.

take care
and yes..i miss you when you aint on-the-boards.


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 2:51:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
]i find you give terrible advice but i think we will just have to agree to disagree...back on block you go.

candystripper

Do you even realize how you sound?

"Oh you suck, I'm gonna block you"

"Oh wait I didn't block you, you still suck, now I'm REALLY gonna block you, REALLY! I mean it this time."


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 3:42:43 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper


As for the forums, i just get frustrated with people who twist words or fixate on a single word and invest it with a meaning it did not have.
candystripper


LMAO.. and the irony just keeps getting better and better.

I am glad to know that you frustrate yourself candy, since I have seen you be a big offender on this board of twisting words and fixating on a single word or sentence to suit yourself.


Knight's kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 4:29:41 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

LMAO.. and the irony just keeps getting better and better.

I am glad to know that you frustrate yourself candy, since I have seen you be a big offender on this board of twisting words and fixating on a single word or sentence to suit yourself.


Knight's kyra



i'm sorry you cannot follow my thinking/words. i am sometimes frustrated by what other people write; but it's a small part of life. i wish you'd let go of being angry but pehaps you need permission first.

candystripper

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 5:45:45 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

LMAO.. and the irony just keeps getting better and better.

I am glad to know that you frustrate yourself candy, since I have seen you be a big offender on this board of twisting words and fixating on a single word or sentence to suit yourself.


Knight's kyra



i'm sorry you cannot follow my thinking/words. i am sometimes frustrated by what other people write; but it's a small part of life. i wish you'd let go of being angry but pehaps you need permission first.

candystripper


Quite the snarky one aren't you?? You definitely amuse me.

I do not have a problem with your words, my graduate education did not go to waste; it's just the conclusions you draw from other's words that baffle me and your inability to look at anything from any other perspective than your own.

I am not angry nor have I ever been angry at you either. It is you who have made quite a few assumptions about posts I have made. And if you think I need permission to have or not have any feeling, opinion or thought, then that proves how little you know about my Lord, myself or our relationship.


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 6:23:18 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

Ohmigosh. Irony at it's best

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Are you carrying a grudge? Posting a lot of crap on the boards about the object of your dislike? i'd bet most people doing this cannot even say what began it. It denigrates the tenor of the boards and makes the poster look like an ass.

i say, let it go; post things that help people, amd grow the f**k up.

If you recognise yourself in this type, try being a whole person with a full complement of brains and understanding.

candystripper


It's unbelieveable irony.....
Well it was a nice vacation while it lasted.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Grudges and Other stupidity - 1/23/2006 7:17:49 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Grudges… Hmm I’m not known to hold grudges, real grudges that is. Years ago in RP I’d have a grudge against some character (Not the person on the KB) for months and yet either I’d message him or ring him are he’d contact me and we’d chat leaving our RP characters behind. I don’t think that the Delectable CS was think of that when she posted. So do I carry grudges? Not really. You would have to attack a member of my family and hurt them real time for me to become angry, not pissed off but icy dangerously angry. It only happened twice the first was when Lady Neets and I started RP and one bloke hurt her because she hadn’t separated reality from the fantasy in RP at that time (she soon learned). The person involved found what he had done to her and was on the messenger and email pronto profusely apologizing so it ended up ok. The other was in one of the open fantasy RP rooms in old MSN and one 22 year old punk got into the head of a 14 year old girl and mind fucked her so badly that she jumped from a 4th floor apartment building. The male who did that is still running from several people who want to have serious words, or so they tell me, with him. Why was I personally upset? The girl was one of my God Daughters. I don’t hold a grudge in such cases or even when in life away from cyber space, I take a vengeance oath which remains in force until the matter is addressed to my satisfaction. Grudges take up too much energy to hold just like frowning. Vendettas are another matter entirely. You can get pissed off for a short time or some one just repeatedly annoys you and on the net it is easy to block them out if you must just like avoiding some people in real life.

edited to add: I'd much kill or piss someone off with kindness it is easier and more fun (A better mind fuck).


mmmmm grudges... what is a grudge anyways?

grudge (n) a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will

well if this is a grudge then... I can honestly say that I have no resentment towards anyone or ill will towards anyone. I can appreciate in Role Play games etc that people get into certain roles and grudges appear to become part of the game. Sometimes it is just really health competition in the game and I would even say that depending on the character being role-played I would be very disappointed if grudges didn't occur... the best fantasy character role-play is when a person plays the personality of the character as realistically as possible. Makes the game much more fun.

But, life isn't really game is it. I agree with you thou. Intent to harm someone I love is going to get my attention. To be honest I can't say how I would react... since no one has ever intentionally set out to harm someone I deeply love. I would like to think I would respond in that typical protective manner... I am sure most of us would like to think that. But, in truth, how do we know unless we are face with the situation. It also depends on the situation, someone harms one of my children. Do seek out to bring my own justice to them, what about the other children I am responsible for? Sometimes, in these situations we can' act for to act, would actually further harm to the rest of the family. I wouldn't be much good if I was in jail or worse now would I. The kids do need to eat. But, in these sitautions, I can see how resentment and ill-will can begin to fester for some. But, like I said, I never been in the situation so I can' say how I would respond.

Now daily life. I think alot of people make the jump that someone holds a grudge against them becuase they are ignored or isolated. Because, I don't respond to someone... or choose not to interact with someone doesn't reflect a grudge! Often, when I decide that I have no desire to interact with someone.. it is about conflicts of principles and values. It was interesting post on the board about Honesty. In there I noted that the behavior of lying as well as the motivatin or reason behind a lie is an important factor of consideration. But, when i am lied to and the lie is about protecting ones ownself or even worse... to glorify or enhance ones image, well these lies are very difficult for me to accept. Those are very close to me are sure to get one hell of a ride or retribution and it can very much endanger a relationship in these cases. In such situations where the person is close to me, I can forsee that I would feel at the least a sense of resentment and betrayal, but ill-well on the other hand would be not a consideration. In this case, I have been very much lied to by someone very close to me... and I felt a great sense of resentment and betrayal.... I also felt anger to myself, because I kept trying to work past the lies with the person. In the end the relationship failed and I was left with these negative feelings. It actually didn't take long for me to get rid of them.... In the end, I just felt pity for the person... I forgave the person and myself, but I choose not to reconcile with the person. It is not a relationship I ever wish to have... this person needs to change much before I would consider much more than an acquintence relationship. However, someone that is of no consequence or importance to me would not be a big deal. A person that lied to me that has not importance would be quickly dismissed and never to be allowed to get acknowledgement. This not a grudge, for I don't hold resentment or ill-wil... frankly, I am uninterested and uncaring of what the person does or doesn't do. I will of course, beaware of the person and becareful not to expose myself to any unneccessary complications, hence why I would have anything to do with the person. If others wish to interact with them, will that is there right of choice. I will not hold that against them, however, I wouldn't hid to one that talks to me privately why I have nothing to do with a particular individual.

anyways just some random thoughts one a very entertaining thread.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 40
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