Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Use of the Third Person


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Use of the Third Person Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:21:42 PM   
MissLaura1973


Posts: 161
Joined: 11/11/2008
Status: offline 		Just curious to find out how others (dominants - submissives - tops - bottoms - slaves - switches - however else you identify yourself) feel about the practice of referring to one's self in the third person, as in:

"This slave wishes to present a gift." or "This one knows that they have much to learn." or (and this one really gets to me) "It knows it has nothing to offer." (That whole negation of self doesn't do a whole lot for me, but maybe someone can share some insight that'll help me to understand what's happening from the speaker's point of view.)

If this excites you, could you share why? And if it's a turn-off, could you also try and explain that?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:35:00 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I dislike speaking of myself or hearing another refer to themselves toward me in that fashion because it feels like a negative objectification.  I think that I as well as who I am relating with are valuable in a relationship and the third person seems to homogennize people rather than distinguish them.  Now, the interjection of posession, for example: "Master, Your girl..." or "Mistress, your boy..." is rather hot as it connotes a bond and a distinction, imo, while allowing a positive objectification. 
Overall, I like strength and self-posession, and words like "I" convey that moreso than does third-person-speak, imo, and would, thus, be my preference.  I do greatly enjoy formality of speech. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:37:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm quite comfortable with those who wish to express themselves in the third person.  I'm of the mind that people should write, talk, and convey themselves as the way they feel.

I will admit, I am not big on "it" when a person relates to themselves.  I find that better suited for the dungeon (play space) than the message board.  Just My own preference.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:37:30 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		i believe in using language in a way that is easily understandable, and firmly fixed in reality.



_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:51:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		There are times when Master likes me to use it when he is in a humiliation mood. It sets the tone for getting into my head and forcing me to take an active role. There are times when he wants really remind me of what exactly I am at times.

(in reply to pinkwind)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:52:49 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		My brain stops at every third person reference to insert the proper pronoun and I tend to lose sight of the content of what the poster is saying so I generally just pass those posts by. I'll often do the same thing with posts that use their/they're/there and your/you're interchangeably to excess. I'm a grammar nazi and I prefer to read the language as it was intended to be written with proper grammar, punctuation and capitalization.


*Yes, I left out the serial comma. That's one grammar concept I rebel against. 

< Message edited by Evility -- 3/9/2009 2:53:38 PM >

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 2:55:37 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLaura1973

Just curious to find out how others (dominants - submissives - tops - bottoms - slaves - switches - however else you identify yourself) feel about the practice of referring to one's self in the third person, as in:

"This slave wishes to present a gift." or "This one knows that they have much to learn." or (and this one really gets to me) "It knows it has nothing to offer." (That whole negation of self doesn't do a whole lot for me, but maybe someone can share some insight that'll help me to understand what's happening from the speaker's point of view.)

If this excites you, could you share why? And if it's a turn-off, could you also try and explain that?


It does not bother me. If that's how they wish to proceed, more power to them...what's more, if they can do it in a way that is graceful ( like Miss Beth here )...then I admire them too.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 3:05:25 PM   
LovingMistress45


Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline 		In my experience it is used more by those that identify as a slave. However, I don't personally care for it and will not allow it for anyone that serves me. However, for those that are not mine if it is what they or their owners prefer it is ok. Now as far as the "it" thing I really don't like that but then again I dislike objectification.

For myself I find the use of the third person diminishes the one speaking to something less than equal and for me the relationship is between equals. Different roles, different expectations, different needs/desires, different levels of power/responsiblities, but as people equal in value.

That is my personal opinions on this, however, I believe in live and let live - therefore I don't judge others' kinks.

(in reply to pinkwind)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 3:22:25 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		Hello MissLaura

Third person "speak" is more noticable in High Protocol situations and seldom comes up at the play parties or munches I've been fortunate enough to attend. It only applys to those who identify as "slaves" as opposed to "submissives". It's not required and often not desired out side of High Protocol circles or events. In Gorean circles it IS required. So I suppose it depends on the situation.

Often those that identify as slaves use it outside of Protocol situations, and usually it's to help them show themselves as leaning more towards BDSM slavery than say a "Daddies Girl". It may help them find suitable partners. What bothers me is that many that do use third person speak play no attention to the other protocols that are more appreciated by many of the "slave Masters" I've come across.

Some use it to gain your attention in a humorous way. "Master dearest Sir, this slave humbly asks you if she can use the bathroom". She may get a whipping from me for being disrespectfull or more often as not, a laugh. It's all in the context and the relationship you have with your sub/slave.

At the end of the day though, it's really between a Master and his sub/slave and it may also be appropriate in attracting the right Master/Mistress for you. Those that do use it, should be careful though, not to look too silly.

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 3:24:36 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I'm quite particular when it comes to grammar, so reading third person generally makes me grit my teeth.  There are few people who can do it with any sort of elegance.  BUT whatever works for them, is cool with me.  I do tend to skim over those emails, though ....

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 3:39:28 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I find third person obnoxious for the most part, it tends to be poorly used in general.



_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 3:57:06 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		I feel people should use whatever methods they wish to communicate, including third person speech. I also reserve the right to scroll right over said posts because I find them annoying. 

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 4:23:39 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		yea it's even lamer than slash speak

BadOne




_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 4:50:39 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		There are very few people I've seen on the boards that can pull off the third person speech well (Beth -Mercandbeth- is one of those few).   The us of the word 'it', though, always puts me in mind of Buffalo Bill "It puts the lotion on it's skin"

ETA:  I've never interacted offline with anyone that uses third person.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 3/9/2009 4:51:52 PM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 4:52:46 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
~ Fast Reply ~
 
My slave beth uses it, as she's been required, since becoming my slave many years ago. I love hearing her refer to herself aways needing to consider that there is no 'I' in her life commitment. It's a 'ritual' and 'protocol' among many that we share and love, differentiating our 'way', and representing that our 24/7 dynamic as more than a facade, label, or lip service. beth speaks it, I hear it; WE enjoy it. 

These responses provide another reason. It pisses people off. As a sadist, I derive sadistic pleasure and satisfaction in their discomfort and contempt.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 5:14:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I can see doing it between two people privately. But there is zero benefit in making communication on a board such as this even more difficult than  text only communication already is. We're missing intonations, tone, facial expressions, and body language to begin with. Add in awkward syntax and it can be nearly impossible to understand what is being said.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 5:20:37 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I think that is more role playing then anything     anyone can be a sub a slave or domme or dom   but it is what is in your heart that makes you who you are not in your head   you either are or are not    i tiger can not change its stripes neither can we change our core of who we are    we can pretend to act with third person  but can not change or make someone into something they are not  hence role playing

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 5:21:04 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		That might be true, but I don't think anyone on the site has the authority to override any instructions that are part of anyone's power exchange.

One of My favorite forum posts from clip was one where he was asked about why he writes the way he does.  The simple answer, "because m'Lady told me to."


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 5:25:31 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		They are free to do what they or their owners want.  I just ignore those posts because they have no value to me.  

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/9/2009 5:47:15 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		Quite right LadyPact...I amend my previous post to include that.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Use of the Third Person Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094