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how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 4:24:29 AM   
slaveboisam


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		hello there i have been on this site for like a year now and i just can find anyone in my area they all want cam slaves but i want to move up a stage could any one give me any tips?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 4:50:12 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		Get out into the community, find a local group, go to a munch...etc.

(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:17:17 AM   
azjojoba


Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline 		Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 

(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:22:07 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		The best thing that you could do is join a local BDSM club in your area and attend a few munches. Getting yourself out there and seen by people is the best way to find someone. Sure you could meet someone here but frankly many Dommes get swamped with some really nutty emails here from male subs and they loose interest and look elsewhere.

Also you may want to check and see if there is a Club Fem in your area as they focus on the Femdom lifestyle.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:27:49 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.
2.  Get a picture up
3.  Make your profile less generic - "I want to serve." is universal.  How are you unique, different?  What do you offer a Mistress or Master that others don't?  Further, what are you looking for in the lifestyle?  Not a "do-me" laundry list mind, but a suscinct summation of what you hope to gain/be/accomplish.
4.  Get out into your local BDSM community and attend munches, go to clubs, meet people, etc.

This site is certainly a lot like fishing.  I don't know that I would be quite as down on it as our friend azjojoba has suggested, but it does take good "bait" in your profile, and a lot of luck!

Good Luck to you! 

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:52:33 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You're really running into a problem that too many Dommes just want cam action?  My first thought:  Verify they are actually female.  LOL.

If you really want something in your life, why are you sitting behind the screen?  The world is outside of your door, not what's inside when you close it.  The computer that you're looking at is just a tool.  It's not a life.  Use the tool appropriately for the information that you need.  After that, shut it off, open the door, and see what's really out there.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:53:59 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 

Oh, absolutely.  It has nothing to do with being a quality submissive.  (Sarcasm.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to azjojoba)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 6:06:43 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		BE PATIENT.

Take time.
 
Expand your search area, and be willing to travel to someone, or at least meet them halfway.
 
And don't cam. Instead, move to realtime as quickly as possible, so you find out if you are really compatible. There is no substitute for actually being with someone, to get to know them.

Keep a positive attititude, and be confident! Those are both very attractive traits.

Explore, and have fun!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 6:10:06 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 

Pretty much your fate, unless you count prancing around in your not so tighty whities, demanding a pretty young slut to help you get your spankie on to be a turnon for women. (Mustn't forget you need the kinky little model to be quiet too, lest your wifey hear)


OP, OttersSwim has some great advice, I'd take notes! :D


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to azjojoba)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 8:31:35 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		Club FEM doesn't focus on the FemDom Lifestyle...it focuses on "Females Enslaving Males"...FemDoms come in every shape and size and are not limited to only male bits of pleasing...which is what ClubFEM focuses on. If that's your thing go for it. Often single males must be interviewed if they are accepted at all. Some groups require that the male be brought in be an already attending Woman.

Check out this...he gives some good advice about using the computer as a tool and what else you can do to help in your search...
http://www.lulu.com/content/5043162
The Courage to Submit The Guide for the Submissive Male Seeking a Dominant Woman

And if you're finding yourself frustrated but don't want the hassle of  searching for the FemDom of your dreams or creating that relationship, a Professional will likely be able to meet your play needs at a cost. You can check out Maxfisch for that as well.


< Message edited by BoiJen -- 3/11/2009 8:34:00 AM >

_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 8:57:56 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		First of all, your profile says you want online, if you don't--remove it. It also says you will do anything once? Really? Be careful with that, you may get your wish and spend the rest of your life in a jail cell---
 
Next, you are in a small area where I imagine there is little in the way of community groups, you may have to expand to a larger city to look and plan on some travel on occasion--and as others have said, a well written profile is a great start---"brush up your Shakespeare" as they say.
 
And don't listen to the naysayers, you can find someone good here, but like out there, it takes time, patience and a positive attitude.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to slaveboisam)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 11:38:35 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.

3.  ....a suscinct summation 



Otter.. 'succinct', perhaps?  

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 12:01:31 PM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline 		Defintely follow Otter's advice above.

In addition to that be on here and be visible.  Posting here is good.  If you make some intelligent, thoughtful posts that will get some of the ladies on here to look at your profile.  Likewise spend some time in the chat rooms.  Most of the Dommes on here want someone who is able to hold an intelligent conversation on a variety of subjects both kink and day to day things.  Go in, be yourself and be polite.  That is how I found my Mistress,  or more accuately how she found me.  She watched me in one of the chat rooms for about a month before revealing that she had intentions for me.  I did have to relocate from another state but I am now living as her personal pet. :)


_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)


(in reply to MsFlutter)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 3:50:07 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.

3.  ....a suscinct summation 



Otter.. 'succinct', perhaps?  


Err...um...yes, that is the spelling MsFlutter.  I thank you. 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to MsFlutter)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/11/2009 5:04:30 PM   
WarKirby


Posts: 71
Joined: 11/22/2008
Status: offline 		not a mistress, but I can give you some general pointers nevertheless.

1. Fix your spelling and grammar. Proper english will instantly set you apart from many others.
2. Get a picture. Your webcam doesn't take pictures? That's just an excuse. Buy a new one. then take pictures.
3. Expand your search a little, perhaps. The UK is all one island, and it can be travelled around in a day. Is it unreasonable to expect you to travel to london, or glasgow? Limiting it to just hampshire severely shrinks your pool of possible matches.


(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/14/2009 1:18:23 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

WarKirby wrote: The UK is all one island, and it can be travelled around in a day.

Um.  Actually, the UK is an archipelago of several thousand islands.  For a relevant example of this, slaveboisam lives on the Isle of Wight.

quote:

Is it unreasonable to expect you to travel to london, or glasgow? Limiting it to just hampshire severely shrinks your pool of possible matches.

Google reckons on seven hours' drive from Southampton to Glasgow; the train takes the same amount of time and costs a hundred and thirty quid return unless you buy tickets well in advance.  And that's after you've crossed from the Isle of Wight on the ferry, which is going to add at least another hour by the time you've got to wherever it sails from and waited for the next one and unloaded at the other end.

So, for somebody looking for a real-life relationship, Glasgow isn't especially practical.  London's a little better, at only an hour and a half each way and thirty-five quid return on the train, again, plus ferry.

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to WarKirby)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/14/2009 4:25:03 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro.

ummm...i disagree...  why do all Dommes here have to be pros??

i definitely agree w/ Otter...


_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to azjojoba)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/14/2009 5:20:30 PM   
DVsFox


Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 


I found what I was looking for on this website on my first day.  I guess that must have been a rip in the time-space continuum.

DV's Fox

(in reply to azjojoba)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/14/2009 5:51:14 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I guess that must have been a rip in the time-space continuum.

And here I thought she homed in on your beacon and tractored you in.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to DVsFox)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? - 3/14/2009 6:42:00 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Next, you are in a small area where I imagine there is little in the way of community groups, you may have to expand to a larger city to look and plan on some travel on occasion--and as others have said, a well written profile is a great start---"brush up your Shakespeare" as they say.



omg Miss Cat, that is my favorite musical clip of all time!  Keenan Wynn and James Whitmore were priceless!  <3 <3

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 20
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