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Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/15/2009 11:12:18 PM

ddogg2

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2009
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I am beginning a relationship with a sub and I am a dom in every way but I have an interest in strapon's. I am not interested in being dominated and I don't think she is a switch. From sub's experiences here, is this possible? Can the sub do her dom with a strapon? I'm sure it can be done but will she enjoy it? What has been people's experiences in this situaiton?

Post #: 1

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/15/2009 11:21:54 PM

rouletteslave

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I just recounted my latest strap-on experience in a blog. As you are curious, I would encourage you to read it.

As someone who has had this fascination for a while, I will say that the vast majority of submissive females that I have encountered out there do not consider it submissive, nor the slightest bit sexy, to do their man in the ass. Although maybe she's a switch. For that matter, maybe you both are.

Honestly I believe we are all switches at heart and you are just looking to explore your submissive side.

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Post #: 2

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 1:00:25 AM

VanessaChaland

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Is her desire and purpose (within this realm) to please you?

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Post #: 3

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 5:44:14 AM

Drifa

Posts: 547
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From: Rural Texas
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I approach it as a service, myself.

(in reply to ddogg2)

Post #: 4

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 8:00:17 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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From an old post of mine to a similar question...

quote:

The only reason I haven't done prostate massage is the only thing I enjoy up my ass is someone's greedy tongue. However, IF that changed and I decided I wanted to be fucked in the ass for MY pleasure it just might go something like this...

Sitting on the edge of the bed watching her crawling across the room with her strap on shoved so far down her throat that she is gagging and drooling on it. Then kneeling beside me and licking up the lube from the bowl she uses her tongue to fill my ass with slippery lube and when I command her she stands and puts on her strap on. She fucks me EXACTLY how I desire, whether than is me moving myself at whatever pace pleases me or my laying there so I don't have to work while she sweats away fucking me for my pleasure. AFTER I cum she greedily cleans that dildo with her mouth for my viewing pleasure, showing me how badly she wants to taste my ass.

Yeah, it might just go something like that and anyone who can see my submission in there just aught to start saving some money so they can go and buy a frigging clue. Being dominant is about doing what other people think you should do, it is about doing EXACTLY whatever the fuck it is YOU want to do, and finding someone who either longs to do the very same thing or whom you inspire to do it anyway.

(in reply to Drifa)

Post #: 5

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 1:01:36 PM

DavanKael

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There are lots of pro-strap-on posts that I have penned on various threads here on CM and I'll assert here as well that one can certainly be a Dominant and enjoy being pleasured with a strap-on.
There are a lot of females who do not wish to 'do' their man with a strap-on for various reasons. I'm not one of them. I love using a strap-on on a man that I am in a relationship with; Dominant, submissive, not identifying as either of the above: it's all good. :>
Davan

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Post #: 6

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 1:48:29 PM

cjan

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Imo, to think that you can get butt fucked with a strap-on, or any other way, and remain dominant in the relationship, casual or otherwise, is delusional. The act itself, by it's nature, is submissive despite any rationalization as to who is in charge.

Think about it. If a "dom" says he wants to be spanked, led around on a leash and made to lick shoes because he may enjoy it and since he demands it he remains in charge and the dominant in a relationship, does that make any sense to you ?

If you like to take it in the ass, go for it. Just be honest and spare us the bullshit.

< Message edited by cjan -- 3/16/2009 2:05:02 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 1:57:24 PM

eleusis

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Joined: 2/22/2009
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While I certainly understand looking to other people's experiences for help here, I think You are probably on Your own. Other people are not You- or Your sub. There are people here telling You she will (or should) enjoy it if it is pleasing to You. Other's are telling You that there is no way You can be Dominant if You are into that. Which is probably true- for ~those~ people. What's true for You and Your sub is only going to be decided by (You guessed it)- You and Your sub. You need to be talking to her about this and finding out how it's going to effect her, You, and the relationship. No matter how it played out for anybody else- it comes down to the two of You...

< Message edited by eleusis -- 3/16/2009 1:58:02 PM >

(in reply to ddogg2)

Post #: 8

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 2:11:59 PM

feydeplume

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IF it is a big want of yours, better talk to her about it NOW not later. It can be a real deal breaker for some people.

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Post #: 9

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 2:27:29 PM

RainydayNE

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i'd agree with fey, talk to her about it now
for some people it matters, for others it doesn't.

(in reply to feydeplume)

Post #: 10

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 2:45:01 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
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I see no reason why a sub can't, in deed, "do" her Dominant partner with a strap on. I've done it, it did weird things to my head, I didn't like it, I don't want to do it again. Fisting my Dominant partner on the other hand *gleeful smile*

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 11

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 2:45:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Imo, to think that you can get butt fucked with a strap-on, or any other way, and remain dominant in the relationship, casual or otherwise, is delusional. The act itself, by it's nature, is submissive despite any rationalization as to who is in charge.

If you like to take it in the ass, go for it. Just be honest and spare us the bullshit.

You're kidding, right? So I am being "submissive" if I let a sub fuck me? Or only if he fucks me in the ass?

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Post #: 12

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 2:55:34 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
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From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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So, basically, a dominant male cannot allow a submissive woman to ride him either, lest she becomes the dominant party and he the submissive one.

Since when did actions themselves define a person?

I always believed that getting what I wanted, however I wanted it, made Me the one in charge.

Edited to add:

So many men who identify as submissive contact me with a list of things they want done to them, and things they absolutely will NEVER do. I do not consider these men submissive AT ALL. I tell them to go find themselves a submissive woman, one who will cater to their fantasies. In my opinion, a submissive person yields to their partner and in yielding they find their happiness. (Mind you, I'm generalizing a bit here to make a point). However, a submissive person who is demanding me to do things to them is going to get laughed at. Ask nicely, and I might consider it...lol. So, if he is requiring his submissive to satisfy him in a way he wishes to be satisfied, how exactly is that submissive?

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 3/16/2009 3:48:52 PM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 3:12:11 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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For me personally I could never do it.
I would feel as though I'm in the dominant position even if I was told it was a service.

If it is what you want though then you would have to talk to your sub about it and hope she is comfortable with it. The choice is yours, not ours.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 14

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 3:12:39 PM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Imo, to think that you can get butt fucked with a strap-on, or any other way, and remain dominant in the relationship, casual or otherwise, is delusional. The act itself, by it's nature, is submissive despite any rationalization as to who is in charge.

If you like to take it in the ass, go for it. Just be honest and spare us the bullshit.

You're kidding, right? So I am being "submissive" if I let a sub fuck me? Or only if he fucks me in the ass?

quote:

_____________________________

I was thinking just that LadyHibiscus!
when I'm dominating I will happily take anal stimulation. I most certainly don't become submissive during the act, so whats the difference for male dominants?!?!

People that can't get there heads round this have very specific ideas about how dominance should be.
To me anal is part of a sexual act. Sex for me is sometimes with a dominant head, sometimes with a submissive head and sometimes its just good sex. Enjoying anal is part of 'just good sex'

I often wonder if some dominant/submissive types can't do anything other than dominant/submissive sex. An example of this is a dominant not going down on a female because it could be deemed as being undominant, or a submissive not riding her man because it would be thought of as unsubmissive!

Maria

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 3/16/2009 3:13:06 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 3:18:06 PM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

The act itself, by it's nature, is submissive despite any rationalization as to who is in charge.

I have to disagree with you. There are plenty of dominants who "bottom" and in no way give up their authority. They command their sub to do these things and the sub obeys, performing the service as directed. Men in particular enjoy anal sex because their prostrate is located in their ass and knowing this, I can understand why they would want a sub to perform strap-on sex for them. It is another way of being serviced and pleased by the submissive in a way the Dominant enjoys.

Just my 2 cents.

~Lashra

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Post #: 16

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 4:04:54 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Some can, some can't. I couldn't. But keep in mind that even if she can do this as a service to you, she won't find it arousing. She may think of it as a punishment.

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Post #: 17

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 4:06:18 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Foe us that would not work. As i see others do not see it that way, but it would make him less Dom in my eyes. That is just my thought on it others do differ as i see. This would never happen though Master has no interestred.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 18

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 4:27:56 PM

rouletteslave

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/15/2009
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I view giving oral sex as a submissive act as it is for the pleasure of the other and tends to be done from a submissive physical posture. Of course, many tops have adapted the act to their dominant role. There's a quote in Jay Wiseman's book from a Domme who says she's "dominant when she sucks cock." I can see that. The act has enough freedom of expression to allow people to put a dominant or submissive spin on it.

This act not so much. But, for the benefit and titillation of the reading public, can you tell us a bit more about how you fantasize about it? Are you maintaining control somehow? Are you commanding her to strap it on? Does it involve an element of bondage?

I suppose the question is, are you looking to add this act to your repertoire of dominant sex play or are you looking to experience from things from the other side?

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Post #: 19

RE: Can a sub strap her dom? - 3/16/2009 4:29:51 PM

LunaVenus

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Joined: 1/4/2009
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For a Dom/ me.... " Do what THOU WILT, shall be the whole of the law"

In other words, whatever the Dom/me says goes. Just make sure you're both compatible on that from the start.

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Post #: 20

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