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Fun factor - 1/24/2006 1:06:52 PM

ScorpGirl444

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

So I was lying in bed last night thinking of fun. You see, I'm all about fun. Fun is my middle name...sort of. Of course it can't be my actual middle name because that's not what my mother named me. You get the idea.

My Dom, further to be known as my husband cause that's what I call him, and I were walking to our car yesterday and talking about how much fun we are. We're so modest, I know.
Anyway. We are with a girl right now who we absolutely love. We're under the impression that she loves us to, especially since she says it every 3 minutes.

We were discussing that we think she likes us SO much cause we're fun. No matter how much he is my Dom and I am his sub, we still act like...us. We're goofy. We smack each other in public for fun and we annoy each other for the sport of it. It's just who we are. We've been together for 10 years, we're 26, and we learned and grew in this lifestyle together, never forgetting who we are. Of course we know when fun is not something that can be done at a specific time...last night's punishment being one of them.

I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point?

~Scorp~

Post #: 1

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 1:12:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I posted in my LJ this week that I love how I laugh so much in scenes with my local partner.

Having fun and laughing is a huge priority in my life.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 2

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 2:01:00 PM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Sense of humor is more important to me than almost anything but honesty, both in my friends and in my partners.

Outside of scene I am a total smartass, and love to laugh. In scene, I find that actually laughing at something funny is much less distracting than trying to ignore it and stay in role. I mean c'mon its a natural response, and denotes enjoyig ones self.

I'll give an example. I had a woman bottoming to me that looooved anal play. So while I was using other implements on her I had a butt plug in. Well I INTENDED for it to be in. When she would start to get aroused her booty would end up popping the plug out. After the third time, I advised her that I was going to by a yard gnome for next time (did I mention I liked crude humor lol).

Anyway, be yourself, and have fun, and if somebody tries to tell you how you aren't doing it right just make bunny ears behind them after they turn around.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 2:01:50 PM

DelRey

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

yippy... "fun"

I'm having fun just reading this post... yippy

oh what fun

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 4

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 2:48:44 PM

ScorpGirl444

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

Wow. That was uncalled for.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 5

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 4:19:33 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I place laughter and fun as a pretty high priority in a relationship. But there is always room for more. My idea of fun may not be the same as someone else though.

I am not sure what you mean by willing to compromise to get more fun. Like give up some protocol or authority if it would lead to more fun? Or like if he is super fun and makes me laugh I am willing to compromise on some other preferred quality. (Like honesty or commitment or fine ass some of those other overrated items.)

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 6

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 4:30:20 PM

windy135

Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

I love to laugh. I love being around people that can make me laugh. It's a HUGE part of who I am. And when tickled I even laugh like a seal.. that part is scarey :)

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 7

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 5:49:57 PM

ScorpGirl444

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

I didn't mean anything specific when I asked if you would compromise something for more fun.
Fun is whatever your definition of it is for you.

The question really is just that...is anything worth compromising to have the level of fun in your relationship that you want?

~Scorp~

(in reply to windy135)

Post #: 8

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 6:53:29 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
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I feel compromise is required in all relationships. So..yes.

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 9

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 8:13:49 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about.

/scratches head in total confusion

I need a clarification please? And this is in no way meant to be offensive, it's just how I read your post

Is it your suggestion that since one can be totally immersed in who and what they are, that they are unable to enjoy who and what they are?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 10

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 8:23:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444
The question really is just that...is anything worth compromising to have the level of fun in your relationship that you want?

~Scorp~

Now I'm confused.

If a partner suddenly came down with a cold, I would not leave them alone in the house just because we had planned a night at a club and I still wanted my fun.

Really it wouldn't be fun for me anyway.

If a partner had an ongoing illness, I would not end the relationship because there wasn't enough fun in it. That doesn't mean I'd have to give up a life of joy and laughter.

Is that the sort of thing you meant?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 11

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 8:55:09 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Hmmm...I spend so much time laughing with my pup that time just flies. Hell, half the time our laughter is our foreplay lol We dont have 24/7, and we only get to see each other on the weekends, but we sure do make up for lost time. I dont know if I can be with someone who doesnt make me laugh, or I, he. I love his laugh..

_____________________________

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 12

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 10:20:16 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

The 'fun factor' is a large part of who I am and who I want to be with. If I didn't have fun with my Sub then she and I wouldn't be together.

Compromise? Life is a compromise. We compromise every day so I guess I would say that, as part of my normal decision making, I would compromise to have more fun. Hell, I do that almost every day anyway ! !

I enjoy who I am and where I am now. I don't need to achieve anything or compromise my standards to get ahead. I DO see compromise as a means of living day-to-day and working in a relationship. That's both in and out of the BDSM world.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 13

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 10:28:49 PM

wolffeathers

Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline

I thought one reason people are into various aspects of BDSM was for fun?

/me scratches head....

It seems there's alot in the manual I overlooked.......

Me and my slave attempt to have fun outside of BDSM....

No, no we don't, as D/s is part of BDSM....sorry....

Only comprimises are when it pleases me, however.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Post #: 14

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 10:36:32 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

I had often thought that many of the doms I'd seen at clubs seemed grim and lacked humor, admittedly a persona they may have felt compelled to adapt.

I love to have fun and laugh and enjoy and believe sex and bdsm should incorporate any and all of it.

(in reply to wolffeathers)

Post #: 15

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 11:23:27 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Before I was with my owner, I was with another person who I also introduced to BDSM. WHen he learned about dominance, he began to adopt this...persona...that it seemed like he felt he had to be in order to be dominant.

He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control.

~shrug~

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 16

RE: Fun factor - 1/24/2006 11:40:30 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Before I was with my owner, I was with another person who I also introduced to BDSM. WHen he learned about dominance, he began to adopt this...persona...that it seemed like he felt he had to be in order to be dominant.

He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control.

~shrug~

That is so sad. One of the first things people say about me when they meet me is "You are so funny" which of course is true lol I do tend to joke alot. If I had to give up sex or give up laughter, I guess I would be one horny broad! :)

_____________________________

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 17

RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 12:47:39 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point?

Living with Himself is liking being in the audience of a Three Stooges marathon. He's a natural born ham and loves to crack jokes and be 'on stage'. His sense of humor is ribald and fast and we laugh all the time. Without his great sense of humor, we'd never know what, exactly, it took to get thrown out of the potato aisle at Cub Foods. But.. that's another story.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 18

RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 2:59:19 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444
I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point?

~Scorp~

Good topic! Previously I was with a dom that I think had trouble with this. Then again, I think he truly had not come to terms with who he was. Often after sessions, he would have trouble dealing with me as a person. Which was why I left! Sounds like you've got a really healthy relationship. Good luck to you. :)

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 19

RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 5:49:23 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control.

~shrug~

As someone who has gone through that, I can understand the perspective. You want to be stern, you want to be in control (and how often are doms bonked with the "You have to be in control first! stick?) and you want to have the submissive in a good mindset to be receptive.

This unfortunately easily translates into being an asshole. With female dominants it's often referred to as being a bitch. I realized a few months ago that I found topspace tiring because I was always trying to project an air of aloofness and coolness. I did not want to have to be bitchy or cool just to enjoy a relationship as a top.

Since then I've really worked on it and come to an understanding that domination doesn't go away just because you're laughing and relaxing together. However, I can see how it's a common misstep for novice doms to make.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 20

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