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RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 6:03:57 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Since then I've really worked on it and come to an understanding that domination doesn't go away just because you're laughing and relaxing together. However, I can see how it's a common misstep for novice doms to make.


Its something I managed as a top and I'm hoping that once I find the right partner it won't be a problem when I take the next step and find a more D/s relationship. But it isn't something I'm expecting to be easy to avoid... My sense of humour is however warped enough that I think I may have a decent chance

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 6:45:10 AM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Ok I have a ton of fun with my little one. She and i laugh and smile everyday. We never take ourselves too serious at any time. I love making her laugh and love seeing her smile. If I lost that becasue of D/s, then the d/s would have to go.

Over the last year, I have really followed my bliss and I have found it in littleone and we laugh our fucking asses off.

Type

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 7:05:12 AM   
ScorpGirl444


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		I'm definitely not saying that you can't have fun when in your roles. What I'm saying is that it seems like there are some, who are SO into being Dominant that they forget that fun is a part of life.

I've spoken with and met with people who thought that my personality made me not a real submissive, like I was playing a game.
I'm a smartass, that's a fact.
I'll push you at first to see how much I can get away with, might be annoying to you but it only happens once.
I'm talkative, if you don't like that, that's why gags were made.
I'll tell you that I want something and I might just fight for it if it's that important to me. Why is that? I'm passionate. I might be submissive but I still want what I want. That doesn't mean you have to give it to me.

All of this is how I define fun. Dude (I love saying dude), what fun is it if you finally find someone you want to be involved with and because you feel like you have to be this strong authority figure, you've sucked the fun out of the relationship.

I guess what I'm asking is this:
Are you willing to compromise *some* of that authority to keep the fun alive?

~Scorp~

(in reply to TypeWriter)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 7:06:48 AM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		I would.

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 7:36:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444
Are you willing to compromise *some* of that authority to keep the fun alive?

~Scorp~


I wouldn't, and I don't see a reason I would need to.

I might cut out THEIR fun, if their version of fun was my version of annoyance. I would then use my authority to teach them what I wanted, and thus cut down on a bit of their fun.

But cut out on my fun? Or fun and happiness overall? No.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 8:11:55 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444
I guess what I'm asking is this:
Are you willing to compromise *some* of that authority to keep the fun alive?


You see I don't see where any compromise is needed.... at least not yet. If I find someone who mistakes my good nature and humour as being any slackening off of authority THEN it might become a problem.... but more a problem in either training or it being the wrong person.

When working as a manager, my team had a laugh together, enjoyed working together but everything that was needed to be done got done and IF I had to pull people into line for anything then mostly just a look or word in a harsher tone was often all that was needed to remind folks they where still at work and I was still the boss.

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 9:44:11 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control


Looking back, the most delightful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure to be with, was a woman who was a joy to be around, a wonderful sense of humor. She could laugh at any situation and was equally able to laugh at herself.
Control is not lost in humor. We had the old toilet seat tête-à-tête. Her,” can you please put the toilet seat down when you’re done” I “you see it up put it down, what’s the problem” Until finally having beat it to death, I put the toilet seat down, right after covering the bowl with saran wrap. Now that was fun!


Sartoris

_____________________________

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 12:05:24 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ok I have a ton of fun with my little one. She and i laugh and smile everyday


But TypeW, How can we tell? You have such a cold and stony face!

(in reply to TypeWriter)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 12:06:31 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
Definitely, Scorp… Keep the fun alive.

< Message edited by Petruchio -- 1/25/2006 12:08:45 PM >

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 12:07:40 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

This unfortunately easily translates into being an asshole. With female dominants it's often referred to as being a bitch. I realized a few months ago that I found topspace tiring because I was always trying to project an air of aloofness and coolness. I did not want to have to be bitchy or cool just to enjoy a relationship as a top.

Since then I've really worked on it and come to an understanding that domination doesn't go away just because you're laughing and relaxing together. However, I can see how it's a common misstep for novice doms to make.


Amen! It happens ALL the time.

quote:

I put the toilet seat down, right after covering the bowl with saran wrap. Now that was fun!


Now THAT's a sadist!


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Fun factor - 1/25/2006 5:48:35 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Beats me (scuse the pun) why anyone would take this nutso world seriously.
You can be serious in your relationship in a light-hearted way. Like, you can be comitted and devoted and Domly or subly or slavely without having to be a sour puss or a frowny face.

Life is a game - lets play it.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 31
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