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Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:12:28 PM   
ixchel


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		Hello!

Forgive me if I do this wrong or am asking a question commonly asked. I have been reading through the forums and have not found my answer yet.

What is the response you expect from your sub when you spank or otherwise inflict pain?

Is she "good" when she can handle it (perhaps quietly, teeth gritted) or when she yelps, squeals, cries, and lets it out?
I guess I am just wondering what the proper response is.

Are you turned on just to be doing it or by the reaction?

I know it may be different with different people, but I would love to hear a few answers.

Thank you so much for your time.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:14:55 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I am bored when the person does not react. Squealing, flailing, whimpered protests... yum! If I wanted stoic silence I'd get a pillow.




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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:21:51 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		It is different with different people.  It's even different with the same people.  He likes both.  I tend to be loud, expressive, and can be difficult.  But he lets me know when he wants me to wrangle that in, grit my teeth, and take it.

As a top...it really depends on what the person is doing.  If I were doing needle work, squirming and yelling would not be appreciated.  If I were trying to do something more on the intricate side with rope, squirming and yelling would definitely not be appreciated.  Impacty stuff is definitely more fun when my victims are reactive.


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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:25:13 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I like a reaction to impact play... be it groaning, moaning, crying out, squirming or...~dark smile~...tears.  The only time  I want any show of stoicism is in their remaining in position---even as they squirm or otherwise react physically---when I have told them to consider themselves mentally bound.

(in reply to ixchel)
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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:44:01 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		With out some form of reaction to play and especially pain play (extreem pleasure play too), how can I ascertain the effects, positive or negative are. I need these reactions so I can adjust the severity, weight, strength, frequency or delicacy of what I am doing. Feed back is always welcome and needed, for after all whilst I may be able to do a lot of things and read a lot from people, I am no God and am unable to experience what another is doing to the "Nth" degree. In time I will learn how an individual handles pain and pleasure, their uinconscious body movements, muscle tremmors, and other non vocal messages. This for me is an important part of being a Master and owning a slave. 

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:48:45 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		I tend to try to stay strong and to show him that no matter what he does it doesn't make me cry or scream...but phew  I always fail...I was never good in dealing with pain outside of my fibropain and so just wait patiently until it is over (as I am not a painsub...but one who can cope with it when she has to...as nevertheless I do tend to test my boundaries...though the consequences are often higher then I bargain for).

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:49:54 PM   
VeryNastyDom


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline 		I like to hear what is going on, but in a muffled and restrained way.  If a sub is going to cry, I prefer they be soft sobs rather than loud screaming.  I think requiring here to limit the noise adds to the punishment.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 12:58:58 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryNastyDom

I like to hear what is going on, but in a muffled and restrained way.  If a sub is going to cry, I prefer they be soft sobs rather than loud screaming.  I think requiring here to limit the noise adds to the punishment.
Ahhhhhhhhh yes...the restriction of the noise she is allowed to make.  I like that too...to not only watch her struggle with trying NOT to get away but to struggle with the level of noise she'd LIKE to make.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 1:12:47 PM   
ixchel


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		Oh thank you so much for your wonderful answers! Also, I am grateful that no one called my an idiot in my fist post! LOL

In all the years that I have been spanked, choked, slapped, etc I have just let loose and done what comes naturally.
Now, as soon as I begin to explore D/s and all that it entails I have become a bit restrained.
(I am just learning that there is terminology, titles, and rules to go with these games)

Sounds like the best thing to do is let go and do what comes naturally and let him tell me if it's too much.
Or let him make me shut up...which also sounds pretty damn exciting!

Thank you again.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 1:18:14 PM   
ixchel


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		P.S.

IMPACT PLAY !!!

A new term to add to my rapidly expanding vocabulary

Thanks

(in reply to ixchel)
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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 1:29:30 PM   
scottishdove


Posts: 113
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline 		my Master enjoys seeing me react, squirm, whimper, etc. which is good because i am a real wimp and don't have much control over NOT doing it.

(in reply to ixchel)
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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 2:43:41 PM   
frazzle121


Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		If He wants me quiet and not moving, he has rope and a gag 

(in reply to ixchel)
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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 2:55:55 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		If He's spanking me during play, I'm not crying that's for sure... I'm a happy girl. I've never had to be spanked for a punishment.... I try to avoid getting into trouble.

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happily forever one

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 2:57:51 PM   
MasterRaid


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/16/2008
From: The Brink of insanity.
Status: offline 		I like to see reactions as well, be it struggling to get away or the sobbing or screaming or even moaning out of sheer pleasure. But, each submissive/slave is different and ultimately I believe it is up to the Dominant to learn the sub/slave's reactions to punishment or play so they know when they are doing it right or need to step it up a notch. That comes from communication and asking as you play or after you play what they are feeling. If the sub does not or cannot respond then the Dom needs to find a way to get those answers. 

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..................................................................DON'T!

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 3:18:45 PM   
ixchel


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		RE: MasterRaid

Yes, thank you!

That is basically how I ended up asking this question.

I was playing with a friend (I am very, very new to this structure) and I believe he was trying to get a reaction out of me but I just clammed up and got terribly nervous. I was in the green and it was pleasurable but he seemed to think I was in some way challenging him or not feeling much. He quickly mentioned that he was just going to have to do much more to me next time whereas I was pretty close to my current limits.

I know I can talk to him in great detail about it, but we were both rushing off to other responsibilities in our lives and it was left in the air.
So... I took it upon myself to learn some answers and be a better playmate next time.

I hope it isn't a faux pas to post this much info - and please tell me if it is.


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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 3:46:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He's into it for the reactions. Primarily arousal, but with great enjoyment of small yelps and squeals and wriggling along the way.

And I wriggle even when tied, although I don't get far.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 3:48:58 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		There are no general"proper responses"  It is all about what the persons doing negotiates, or in some cases demands if the D doesn't negotiate. If he wants you to yell and hollar, then that is proper if he wants you to stay quiet then that's proper for him.
quote:

ORIGINAL: ixchel



I guess I am just wondering what the proper response is.




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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 4:10:59 PM   
spatejak


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I like to know that I'm having some effect on the sub. Using all of fabulous technique on her, and getting no reaction is disappointing.

(in reply to ixchel)
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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 5:47:20 PM   
Knite064


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ixchel

P.S.

IMPACT PLAY !!!

A new term to add to my rapidly expanding vocabulary

Thanks


To answer your question .for me its not about the noise or lack of but the connection that occurs (dare i say the spirituality of opposites complimenting )

Welcome to the forum and as for expanding your vocabulary ....do a google search on "bdsm dictionary" and you ll find no end of new terms :)

be well

(in reply to ixchel)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 6:55:20 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What is the response you expect from your sub


Depends on which sub - it is personal. Are you thinking there is some sort of rule, or is this an academic exercise?

(in reply to ixchel)
Profile   Post #: 20
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