Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
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quote:
ORIGINAL: domiguy You have never really struck me as "the lazy" type. It is not a quality that anyone would find particularly admirable. Hi DG! - Hell, I AM lazy. For instance, I could illustrate it by giving a quick response - I'm not trying to be; and you should NOT find me "admirable". Quick & LAZY. However, because right now, I'm too lazy to go out and get my own lunch, I'll have someone else get it for me and use the time instead to answer you with some more details... When it comes to 'work'. I happen to be motivated, ambitious, and egotistical enough to not let that laziness get in the way of accomplishing anything I want and need to. Although the ego is still there, when it comes to my relationships, I see them as places where I don't need to be motivated to do anything outside of my comfort zone, and that includes an effort to please anyone by being someone or something I'm not. There is no amount of motivation that can make me do so. I call that lazy. When it comes to business, fortunately, that's not the case. I'll try to give illustrating examples; if a Bank who I desire a 'relationship' tells me I have to create a pro forma which requires me to spend a weekend working on it to provide an explanation and the details of my request for an LOC, I'm not happy about it. I know I'll end up doing the 'work', motivated by my desire to get my LOC. Once they get what they requested we go forward from there as financial partners in a relationship, asking things of each other along the way to prove we still want and need each other and we are fulfilling each others needs. Being presented with a similarly desirable personal relationship where my potential partner requires that before considering to be my partner we have to spend a weekend at a 'Dom/sub Sensitivity Workshop' -sorry, I'm not going to extend the energy. I may have the time, ability, and even desire to see what that workshop would be like; but the mind-set of my potential partner where that request originated establishes a requirement on our relationship that I will not and don't want to fulfill; up front or ongoing. I may miss out on a hell of an experience buy I know it my heart it's not one I'd be as excited about once the 'frenzy' dies down. I know it would require too much 'work' and effort. I may be able to convince them that the concept of what they are doing is diametrically opposed to who I am - but again - I'm too lazy to take the time to do so; because after addressing it, more 'work' would be required to insure the attitude wasn't pervasive. Not wanting the ongoing effort is again - an example of my laziness. Of course I'm capable, not too lazy, to 'bitch-slap' but that's only a short term solution. My reference to personal sloth is directed to an ongoing, long term dynamic. When I come home, I want my martini chilled, not a slave in need of a 'backhand' to 'warm-up' to "my way". quote:
Anywhooo, what if Beth questioned a decision? Is she capable of this? Is "the highway" the only alternative? Yes she is more than capable of questioning; she is required to do so. It may or may not surprise you, but beyond the questioning she is INVOLVED with decisions. I seek her counsel in many matters. Thinking about it, I ask her about decisions I have to make concerning business that I know she knows very little, or nothing about, just to take advantage of her intellect. There is no dichotomy between a "my way"philosophy and her questioning my decisions. Quite the contrary I think it helps keeps the focus on "my way". There are many paths to the same destination and since neither of us can completely read the mind of the other, although we're working on it, questions are encouraged to make sure the path to the goal remains as in common as the goal itself.
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