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Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 11:56:11 AM

inkywet

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My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. He is finally ready to realize he has a problem. So, since Jan. he has been taking his medication regularly. Before he would just take his medication when he felt an episode was comming. Currently, he doesnt go to counseling nor does he want too just does your regular doctor visits to check how his medication is working.

He says since he is a very passive guy this is the only place he can feel in control. Also, he made mention that he can be very sadistic. Though, we really didnt go much into detail there. Just the teasing of "you'll see." We have a lovely dovely relationship and he wants to incorporate a master slave relationship as well.

Also, he has had a hardcore master/slave relation with a girl who was also just as into it who loved pain, being slapped and such. She was a live in slave and he would broadcast on the web and make money off what they would do. Yeah, we are not going to go that far.

Do you think it would be safe to have a bipolar master? Mostly we will be doing a lot of stuff that will involve being tied up.

Edit: We haven't done anything bdsm type yet, we have just talked about it.

Edit: Also, the girl who he had a bdsm relation with. He just used her. He didnt love her or want anything else from her. Again, that is what he said.

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 12:30:46 PM >

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 12:22:05 PM

DavanKael

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Lots of red flags: lack of counseling, lack of psychiatriac oversight, unwillingness to dialogue about intent, etc.
Your skin and psyche. I'd say 'no thank you', especially to something that left me unable to get away.
The best treatment for bipolar disorder is a combination of regular therapy and medication.
Best wishes,
Davan

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 12:57:39 PM

Vanityfull

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i have met pretty safe normal bipolar people, i dont think it would be a major problem for someone able to deal with the troubles that come with being bipolar, if you havnt tried anything bdsm related together i sugest taking it slow, dont trust anyones ex's as complete truth but take heed of what they say.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:03:25 PM

inkywet

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DavanKael: You are absolutely right

Vanityfull: I haven't met that ex, nor do i want to. My boyfriend was the one who told me the above. He said he just used her. Apparently, he has a habit of using of girls for sex. Except with me... if you can believe that nonsense. Quite frankly, he hasnt proved that he is not using me, but whatever. All I have at the moment is his word.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:05:12 PM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

DavanKael: You are absolutely right

Vanityfull: I haven't met that ex, nor do i want to. My boyfriend was the one who told me the above. He said he just used her. Apparently, he has a habit of using of girls for sex. Except with me... if you can believe that nonsense. Quite frankly, he hasnt proved that he is not using me, but whatever. All I have at the moment is his word.

If you don't want to date him- don't.

Don't use bipolar as an excuse.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:12:21 PM

inkywet

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Lynnxz: I want to date him. In fact, we are planning marriage. I dont have a problem with his bipolar in general. I just dont know if it is safe to be tied up by him

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 1:14:31 PM >

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:15:25 PM

Vanityfull

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it could be possible he is using you or he just didnt connect with other girls, only you can determine if you feel the relationship is good for you, i hope it is. bipolar is a pretty tough thing to deal with and i suggest you both read up on it lots as there is alot of misinformation floating around about mental disorders in general.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:18:03 PM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I want to date him. In fact, we are planning marriage. I dont have a problem with his bipolar in general. I just dont know if it is safe to be tied up by him

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

Tada- answered your own question.

You know what you should do, you just want sympathy from strangers.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:19:36 PM

BeIgnited

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My mother is bipolar, my younger brother is showing some early signs of it, and I believe that I exhibit some very light "cycles" like that.

The biggest problem with people with bipolar disorder, in terms of treatment, is getting them to stay on medication. Most like the highs (and understandably so--being mildly manic can make you feel great and make you get shit done) and so don't want to take medication because it flattens them out--or will take it until they think they're "better". I think far more than being worried that your boyfriend is bipolar, I would be concerned with how he deals with it. Has he been violet ever? Has he ever had a "manic episode"? Being bipolar does not make your boyfriend dangerous, necessarily, but I would tread cautiously for the simple fact that dealing with someone who is bipolar can be incredibly draining and drama-ful.

As a note, hypersexuality is a text book "symptom" of bipolar disorder, and that might explain some of your boyfriend's past relationships.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:21:13 PM

cantilena

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You're planning marriage to a guy who - in your words - has fucked you over numerous times?

Please consider what you're saying there. In my own opionion, the questions you need to be asking yourself have little to do with bipolar - and little to do with BDSM for that matter.

I do wish you luck.

(in reply to Vanityfull)

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:22:34 PM

inkywet

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Lynnxz: I dont like sympathy. I like abuse. Which is why i stay with him. But... emotional abuse, not too much into the physical which is what he loves.

Vanityfull: You are right i should look up the disorder and find more information. I tried discussing it with my boyfriend but he just brushes it off. But, i am glad he is open with me on everything else. Like what he is into which we want to tie it into our marriage ceremony, but our second one which is just for us and friends.

BeIgnited: No he has not had any violent aggression. He is so passive. He is more the "passive aggressive" type. He has just been so open with me lately. Which rocks!

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 1:25:13 PM >

(in reply to Lynnxz)

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:24:01 PM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I dont like sympathy. I like abuse. Which is why i stay with him. But... emotional abuse, not too much into the physical which is what he loves.

Anddddd he's the one you think needs therapy?

At the very least, it does not sound like the two of you are compatible.

Come on- you said in another thread he's hunting for girls on Craigslist without your knowledge. How well exactly do you expect this marriage to go over?

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/23/2009 1:25:42 PM >

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:27:23 PM

inkywet

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Lynnxz: He has diagnosed bipolar disorder. Yes, i do believe he needs therapy along with medication. He is not violent thank God. Just acts on a lot of impulsives such as sex and spending.

But, you are right. I am just as messed up as him. I just want to please him so much because i love him. Maybe i should go into counseling as well. I am seriously going to consider it. I shouldnt be like this. Thank you for your honesty

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 1:28:06 PM >

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:30:03 PM

inkywet

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Lynnxz: That was back dec. I hadnt thought about that in a while until i posted here. He is now in lock down because he went to jail for criminal nonsupport. He claims it wasnt his fault because since he moved around alot he didnt get the papers. Now, that he lives with his parents he is forced to take his pills.

I guess i am just hoping now that he is taking his pills and under supervision he will change. I know stupid of me. But, like i said i am young and navie, i dont want sympathy. I want the brutal honesty that you have been giving me. Sympathy will just make me stay.

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 1:31:17 PM >

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:30:26 PM

dreamerdreaming

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Leave it.

Now. Don't wait.

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:34:00 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I want to date him. In fact, we are planning marriage. I dont have a problem with his bipolar in general. I just dont know if it is safe to be tied up by him

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

Ink, your jerk boyfriend is like a bottle of sour milk in the fridge. You don't keep going back and tasting the milk to see if it's better; why do you think that if you give him enough chances, he'll magically become a nice guy?

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:37:00 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I want to date him. In fact, we are planning marriage. I dont have a problem with his bipolar in general. I just dont know if it is safe to be tied up by him

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

Counseling for him
Counseling for you
Counseling for the both of you
Meds as needed
Don't say "I do" just yet.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 17

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:37:39 PM

Lynnxz

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From: Atlanta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: He has diagnosed bipolar disorder. Yes, i do believe he needs therapy along with medication. He is not violent thank God. Just acts on a lot of impulsives such as sex and spending.

But, you are right. I am just as messed up as him. I just want to please him so much because i love him. Maybe i should go into counseling as well. I am seriously going to consider it. I shouldnt be like this. Thank you for your honesty

I used to try to please every asshole that came along. It took a lot for me to change- but I'm much better off for it. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to inkywet)

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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:39:33 PM

DavanKael

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Aaaack, after reading through the rest of the thread: get thee to therapy immediately, if not sooner.
Do not say "I do" and, for heavens' sake, hold off on any procreative urges until and unless these issues get sorted out.
Best wishes,
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 19

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/23/2009 1:40:50 PM

inkywet

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Lynnxz: Thanks. And thank you. I guess there was more to the question that even I saw. So, thanks for opening my eyes. I hope i can change like you did. It is just so hard to let him. But, i really should. Though, it probably wont be today. I bet it will take me months to man up the courage which sucks. I am only 22. I'm sure i can find someone else, i just dont want to lose him.

Thanks everyone... yeah, i have problems pleasing people even if they are mean. I just ... i dont know. I guess love isnt the only thing you need in a relationship and love cant cure all. Thanks for all your imput

< Message edited by inkywet -- 3/23/2009 1:45:35 PM >

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