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What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 8:45:18 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I am sooooooo tired of people, usually either not in the lifestyle or in the mundane world, thinking that they know what Submission is. Submission DOES NOT mean Mousey and Weak. They dont understand how much strength is takes to be a slave. It took more backbone for me to submit then it did for me to do most anything else. I dont know about other Masters out there, but my husband (who is my Master) wants a strong slave. He would rather have to work harder at training me than to 'break my will'. We are searching for one to bring into our home and one of the things that draws us to a slave is that she has a head on her shoulders and that she can think.

Anyway.. Like I said, I would be interested in hearing what others feel about this.

1st Girl Phoenix


**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:26:07 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not particularly sure what you're trying to accomplish with this post. Is it an ad? Is it a rant?

So, insteaad, I'll ask a question that I want an actual answer to.

Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.

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(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
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RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:27:39 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		maybe they need some excitement...anyone got any SlimJims? LOL

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RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:31:14 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		it is a rant... sorry.... just had to get it off my chest....

I am sorry that I came across the way that I did... I did not mean to be confusing. I have been accussed of being a wishy washy and mousey because I am a slave. It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things. Sorry agian for not being clear. I just was hoping that others have had this happen to them also.

1st Girl Phoenix

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
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RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:36:25 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Okay...I'm confused...it says on your profile that you are a Mistress....or am I reading something wrong?

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(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
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RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:48:34 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I am a slave only to Dragon... I am a Domme to all others. He was the only one that I could submit too. And this took 10 years to happen, it did not just happen nor did our relationship start out this way.

BTW I like your fairie.

Phoenix

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:52:58 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		For what its worth, i also think it takes great strength to submit, i know at times it has to be very hard to even pretend i am not being an ass, let alone go along with it.

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RE: What submission isn't - 1/25/2006 9:54:00 PM   
seaturtle50


Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline 		<no hijack intended>

michaelGA - new avatar pic? Nice improvement!

<please continue>

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RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 4:38:35 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I would be interested in hearing what others feel about this.


it is this slave's opinion that submission isn't:

...inherently "easy" or "hard"

...all or nothing

...the only way to have a fulfilling relationship

...universally defined in the context of a BDSM relationship

...less than or greater than dominance

...an indicator of weakness, insecurity or mental defect

quote:

I have been accussed of being a wishy washy and mousey because I am a slave. It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things.


slave-bashing happens. it even happens with folks that claim to "understand" the lifestyle...if you peruse some of the prior "what is the difference between submissive and slave" posts that will give you a glimpse into people's varied and sometimes mean-spirited comments regarding the concepts. don't let the ignorant folk get you down!

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 5:12:30 AM   
servingwench80


Posts: 206
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things.

1st Girl Phoenix


This is the point, right here. They don't understand the lifestyle. Now if someone who knows you well AND knows the lifestyle well tells you that you're weak, then I might consider being insulted *L* But this is just ignorance. Personally, if someone doesn't understand the lifestyle, I probably wouldn't tell them about it anyway; they're just not going to get it. But that's just me, and I tend to be more close-mouthed about some things than other people.

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 5:37:44 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Submission simply means acting under anothers authority within a defined relationship.

People can be weak in relationships.

If there weren't a lot of weak subs out there, there wouldn't be so much backlash about people screaming how they aren't weak. A lot of subs are weak, insecure, clueless people.

So are a lot of dominants.

Being dom or sub has nothing to do with being weak, and it has nothing to do with being strong. It's just an orientation.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 5:39:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.

I don't consider it insulting.

Every subculture has a jargon/slang term to define those NOT in their subculture. Most often with us it's vanilla. But mundane works just as well.

Granted there is a lot of nilla bashing that goes on in the kink subculture, and this might be a symptom of that, but I don't find applying the term to be insulting in itself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 5:46:58 AM   
phoenixslave


Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline 		As usual, Lucky Albatross says it all. That said, i'll run my typing finger anyways... i couldn't care less what people not in the life style think of me. it does get to me when those in it try to define me by their take on it. i know a Master who thinks all slaves SHOULD be weak and clueless. In his book i am always wrong and perhaps no slave at all. He should know better. i could judge him or his slave as well but its none of my business to do so.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 5:50:50 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixslave

As usual, Lucky Albatross says it all. That said, i'll run my typing finger anyways... i couldn't care less what people not in the life style think of me. it does get to me when those in it try to define me by their take on it. i know a Master who thinks all slaves SHOULD be weak and clueless. In his book i am always wrong and perhaps no slave at all. He should know better. i could judge him or his slave as well but its none of my business to do so.

You shouldn't let it get to you. And IMO you should care (not be controlled by, but care) what people not in the lifestyle think of you. Social perceptions is a good way to grow and understand who we are.

Making good judgements is a necessary skill of being a mature adult. As long as you don't expect anyone to share your judgements, then you're ok. You do seem to get defensive yourself when someone says something you don't like.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to phoenixslave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 7:11:52 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:


slave-bashing happens. it even happens with folks that claim to "understand" the lifestyle...if you peruse some of the prior "what is the difference between submissive and slave" posts that will give you a glimpse into people's varied and sometimes mean-spirited comments regarding the concepts. don't let the ignorant folk get you down!



Thank you... for your opinion and your above 'cheer me up' comment.


Phoenix

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 7:33:32 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Holy cow; i'd never tell anyone but my girlfriends about D/s. And while i agree with you, that submission is an act of strength, we have members who wanna be rescued from their goofed-up lives, some with kids, and so it's not really a universal truth. Just a universal "ought to be".

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/26/2006 7:34:03 AM >

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 8:51:04 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		anyone got any SlimJims?
======

nawwwww

i can't have em so i do peanut m + m's.....
ROFLMAO


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(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 8:59:35 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Holy cow; i'd never tell anyone but my girlfriends about D/s. And while i agree with you, that submission is an act of strength, we have members who wanna be rescued from their goofed-up lives, some with kids, and so it's not really a universal truth. Just a universal "ought to be".

candystripper



Hi candy! Welcome back darlin---

I am very much going to agree with what she has said--that does not mean I disagree with the others---I hate to use this phrase, but that to Me is the difference between true submissives versus game players--I know one for a fact that portrays herself as a slave--does not want to make her own decisions, manage her money etc---yet she cannot do that in her real life--it is a means to be rescued from a fkd up life--

I am a firm beleiver in two things:

You cannot manage another's life if yours is in ruin
You cannot truly submit if you don't understand what you are giving up--


Now given that:

quote:

Submission DOES NOT mean Mousey and Weak.



To some it DOES--to you it doesn't, to Me it doesn't but to some Dom/mes and submissive/slaves, it does mean Mousey and Weak--because that's what they are or seek.

IMHO, the terms are a means of labeling--like Italian, Wiccan, Gothic--it is an identifier only--but the practice, the use, the implementation of those labels are all subjective--it's all a matter of preference.


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RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 9:42:10 AM   
MysticalPhoenix


Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.


It's not really any more an insult than vanilla.

It's the acceptable term used by people in the SCA to indicate non-SCA folk, or non-SCA clothing, etc., just as vanilla is the acceptable term in the BDSM scene for non-BDSM folk, etc.

And it's just a word, after all.

Phoenix

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Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What submission isn't - 1/26/2006 9:52:31 AM   
HISTOABUSE


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/24/2006
Status: offline 		i am very new to the lifestyle adn up until about 4 months ago had never even heard the term vanilla used for anything other than a flavor!! i am submissive...i am in NO WAY weak, nor does my Master treat me as such. the people i know would probably wet their pants if they knew the things i like..so i keep it to myself. there are those in our community that truly appreciate a good slave.....and know how to treat one....for those that do not...we simply ignore them....please dont let what other people think change whoa nd what you are....after all, you were this way before you met, and you'll be this way when they're gone!!!!

(in reply to MysticalPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 20
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