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How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real life? - 3/25/2009 1:43:14 PM   
SweetyBoy


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Ladies,

I like the idea of male wife discussed here. By male wife is meant a sub who is doing all the housework, not necessarily someone who wears female clothes.

I think there are many subs, who would wish to be male wife. But in reality, it may be hard for them to achieve that .

I still think if such sub is properly trained, he can achieve this.

May I ask what Ladies think they would train their subs? How would you enforce that? How would you punish your sub if some work is not done properly? I don't mean some kinky punishment a sub would enjoy, but some motivating punishment it would help him to do what even he would want to do, but is just lazy to do it.

I don't think denying orgasm or denying sex would be a right punishment,  some Ladies may already keep her subs in chastity (just to let them know their position ).

SweetyBoy

< Message edited by SweetyBoy -- 3/25/2009 1:57:58 PM >
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 1:50:31 PM   
Shannon38C


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I think the best way to start is to throw out all male underwear.Then have "malewife" shave all hair that will not cause co-workers or family to suspect his new position. That position will be disclosed later to female family members, but the start is to have the male mind begin to understand decisions now are his female spouses to make for him.

(in reply to SweetyBoy)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 1:56:29 PM   
SweetyBoy


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Lady,

I don't necessarily mean by male wife someone who wear female clothes - that is just an option, when Lady wants that. (I will add this to my post)

I rather mean doing all the 'female work' in house.

(in reply to Shannon38C)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 2:18:00 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am hearing a lot of fantasy and decission making already done here.

First of all... I see men... not boys who were not trained by their parents.  If they don't know how to clean or the importance of cleaning something, even if they don't know all... I would figure their parents were faulty and didn't do their job... I don't want their job and as an adult the man should have by then... at an age I would see him... have taken it upon himself to know a bit about cleaning.

If I have to train someone to do general cleaning... he won't be my wife.

If I have to punish him to do what needs to be done... well.. again.. his parents failed and/or it is more play time to him.

I say... clean it... it should get clean in a fair amount of time so that we can play at adult games rather than teen naughty boy.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SweetyBoy)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 5:33:57 PM   
IndigoMystry


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline 		LOL Lockit.   Highlights a number of things which preclude me ever wanting a male wife.  Doubtful they have the mad skillz to begin with and training them in EVERYTHING domestic requires more time than I'd invest.  I don't think I've ever met any potentials who can clean or cook, do laundry, iron, run errands, shop for the home, or plainly multitask as well as I've trained myself to do.  But that's just me, others' mileage may vary, I suppose.

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 10:11:45 PM   
liks2plzlf


Posts: 390
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		Damn!!! Its not rocket science. Heck even women can do it

(in reply to IndigoMystry)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 10:27:34 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		Oh dear!


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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/25/2009 11:13:50 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetyBoy
I like the idea of male wife discussed here. By male wife is meant a sub who is doing all the housework, not necessarily someone who wears female clothes.
We're in agreement.

quote:

I think there are many subs, who would wish to be male wife. But in reality, it may be hard for them to achieve that
Not so hard if one is obedient and attentive when given direction.

quote:

May I ask what Ladies think they would train their subs? How would you enforce that?
If you are submissive and take directions well, the training happens in having explanations given to you, and acts shown to you.   I can certainly teach or have someone teach a boy how I want things done in my home.

quote:

How would you punish your sub if some work is not done properly? I don't mean some kinky punishment a sub would enjoy, but some motivating punishment it would help him to do what even he would want to do, but is just lazy to do it.
For motivation, I would treat a boy to something he enjoys.   While I enjoy some discipline/punishment, I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who repeatedly did things that required punishment or disciplinary action.   If we had difficulty communicating, I would try to improve that, and if that didn't work, I would consider the relationship is potentially one that isn't sustainable due to unfullfilled desires/needs.

quote:

I don't think denying orgasm or denying sex would be a right punishment,  some Ladies may already keep her subs in chastity (just to let them know their position ).
SweetyBoy
I don't do chastity, and enjoy sex with a well behaving boy.   If I'm needing to keep him in chastity, or needing to deny him sex due to inapropriate/bad behavior, he may as well consider himself out the door, because it is only a matter of time.    M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to SweetyBoy)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 2:24:38 AM   
SweetyBoy


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		thanks for Your reply Lady... interesting :-)

I think this is the guidance a sub needs :-)

< Message edited by SweetyBoy -- 3/26/2009 2:29:23 AM >

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 4:07:38 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Shockingly, between my boy's love of doing me service (though he does hate chores) and his military training there was no 'training'.   The only real issues is that he has that 'male blindness' when it comes to clutter or dust bunnies.  Personally, unless it is actually part of the 'scene' and or correction of technique, I don't feel there NEEDS to be training just a pure desire to serve.  My boy is as much as a 'male wife' as it gets but we don't view it like that; he is just responsible for the household work.  He enjoys it because it means that I can come home and relax, never do anything at home I don't want to, and is a daily set of tasks he can to 'in my honor'.  We don't even bother with a schedule; it just gets done.  This idea that everything must be 'trained' (like anal...honestly?...did those kind of guys need to be 'trained' to have sex too?) has always escaped me.   

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(in reply to SweetyBoy)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 4:09:52 AM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		Carrot and a stick.
The "carrot" being what is between your legs, the "stick" being a rattan cane? :)

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(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 5:54:42 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Mine came knowing how to do housework, I just refined his skills so he could do things according to my standards. I agree with Lockit, males should be taught to do things around the house. Sadly though, many are not. My ex was a prime example of a religious household where women did all the work and the men sat around burping and farting. BUT I was able to retrain him quite a bit, much to his parents shock and horror.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to VanessaChaland)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 7:24:56 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I don't do chastity, and enjoy sex with a well behaving boy.   If I'm needing to keep him in chastity, or needing to deny him sex due to inapropriate/bad behavior, he may as well consider himself out the door, because it is only a matter of time.    M


This clearly misses the point of chastity and orgasm control, as it applies to many people.

quote:

Not so hard if one is obedient and attentive when given direction.


That's what chastity and orgasm control is all about, for a lot of people.

As to the wearing of female clothes, it was mentioned as a method to induce the desired behavior. Dressing a man in female clothes, or merely female underwear, can make him feel more submissive, and more willing to accept the "housewife" role. Both female clothing and chastity devices/orgasm denial are tools a domina can use to induce desired behavior, to keep her sub attentive to her desires and instructions. It's a constant reminder of his role.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 9:05:23 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
quote:

I don't do chastity, and enjoy sex with a well behaving boy.   If I'm needing to keep him in chastity, or needing to deny him sex due to inapropriate/bad behavior, he may as well consider himself out the door, because it is only a matter of time.    M
This clearly misses the point of chastity and orgasm control, as it applies to many people.
If I were interested in that type of control, I would think Yipee!    As I am not, I would consider a person with that need an incompatible match simply...   Is this a clearer answer?

quote:

quote:

Not so hard if one is obedient and attentive when given direction.
That's what chastity and orgasm control is all about, for a lot of people.
I'm not one to deny anyone the right to seek that wich makes him hard or happy.    I'm just saying this is not a form of engagement (or disengagement) that I would partake in, beyond those times he would be out of my physical reach anyway (like off to work).   My authority/control, and his submission/service, cannot be predicated on my enforcing chastity or orgasm control.

quote:

As to the wearing of female clothes, it was mentioned as a method to induce the desired behavior. Dressing a man in female clothes, or merely female underwear, can make him feel more submissive, and more willing to accept the "housewife" role. Both female clothing and chastity devices/orgasm denial are tools a domina can use to induce desired behavior, to keep her sub attentive to her desires and instructions. It's a constant reminder of his role.
You make sense, but it isn't my thing.   Even though I can wrap my mind/libido around some of it, it would work unless they really were minimal/invisible undergarments, it would absolutely not fit into my life at this time.   

I understand that while most folks may believe that submission is about tit for tat/exchange (no pun intended), it really isn't what works for me.   I'm very generous to people who give freely of themeselves, in terms of caring about their joy/enjoyment.     However, I shut down if anyone comes at me with a list of things I need to do in order for him to submit or serve.    M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 3/26/2009 9:23:32 AM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to hardbodysub)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 9:18:27 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		First you get a big stick, and then whenever he misses a spot on the kitchen floor, you beat his ass red and have him do it all over again...

Oh wait, that's not right. Sorry!

Like someone else said, mine came already trained, compliments of the US military. If he can pass his barracks room off as 'inspection ready' in just a few hours, I'm sure he can keep my house decently clean. Even without the military, if he couldn't comprehend how to handle a broom and how to clean dust off of ceiling fans, something is terribly wrong and I wouldn't be able to get past the idea of how NASTY his own place must have been kept before I met him, let alone 'train' him.

(off topic just a bit but still related) This reminds me of a married man who recently contacted me on the other side. He told me that no, his wife doesn't know *shocked* and when I told him I wasn't interested in talking to him anymore due to his lack of honesty and morals, he said "But you can train me to be the man I need to be." He was in his late 40's and it boggled me that he'd even think someone would waste time teaching him the basics of life.

(in reply to hardbodysub)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 12:36:41 PM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoMystry

LOL Lockit.   Highlights a number of things which preclude me ever wanting a male wife.  Doubtful they have the mad skillz to begin with and training them in EVERYTHING domestic requires more time than I'd invest.  I don't think I've ever met any potentials who can clean or cook, do laundry, iron, run errands, shop for the home, or plainly multitask as well as I've trained myself to do.  But that's just me, others' mileage may vary, I suppose.
Actually i can haqndle all of these and more but i am taken and happily so.

(in reply to IndigoMystry)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 1:32:05 PM   
DivaLadyTJ


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

LOL Lockit. Highlights a number of things which preclude me ever wanting a male wife. Doubtful they have the mad skillz to begin with and training them in EVERYTHING domestic requires more time than I'd invest. I don't think I've ever met any potentials who can clean or cook, do laundry, iron, run errands, shop for the home, or plainly multitask as well as I've trained myself to do. But that's just me, others' mileage may vary, I suppose.
quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoMystry

LOL Lockit.   Highlights a number of things which preclude me ever wanting a male wife.  Doubtful they have the mad skillz to begin with and training them in EVERYTHING domestic requires more time than I'd invest.  I don't think I've ever met any potentials who can clean or cook, do laundry, iron, run errands, shop for the home, or plainly multitask as well as I've trained myself to do.  But that's just me, others' mileage may vary, I suppose.


Take my word for it as one who has served in the military for almost 15 years..... anyone who has been in the military for awhile KNOWS how to clean.  The smart ones know how to cook, they all know how to run errands.  Doing laundry, shopping for the home and other multitasking is something that is unique to each household.  If a sub has been career military, they are Very Versatile!  If someone lists a skill of household mgmt, ask them if they can cook, if so, grab whoever it is!  To me, if the heart of that sub or slave is really in service, it won't take too long to teach them, and it is something I'd find valuable.

Have a good day!

TJ

(in reply to IndigoMystry)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 1:35:21 PM   
DivaLadyTJ


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline 		But this brings up another thing.  I for one wouldn't have any problem teaching this stuff to a sub.  I know others don't want the bother.  Now I'm not talking about someone running around my house as a sissy maid...... I'm talking about the actual process of learning this.

TJ

(in reply to SweetyBoy)
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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 1:37:36 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think a lot of this is about what a person is willing to do in life period.  If they don't value something, they won't put themselves out to do it.  If one values someone else and that something is important to them... they will do what it takes to learn whatever.. with or without instruction.  A willingness of heart to do something is what I look for.

Someone can know how to cook and clean and not wish to do it and resent doing it.  Someone can know basic's only and go out of their way to learn more because it is a value to the one they value.  A lot of this is attitude.

Someone who needs punishment to do what I ask... well.. the heart is lacking... the kink or head games are not.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/26/2009 4:17:29 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I think a lot of this is about what a person is willing to do in life period.  If they don't value something, they won't put themselves out to do it.  If one values someone else and that something is important to them... they will do what it takes to learn whatever.. with or without instruction.  A willingness of heart to do something is what I look for.

Someone can know how to cook and clean and not wish to do it and resent doing it.  Someone can know basic's only and go out of their way to learn more because it is a value to the one they value.  A lot of this is attitude.

Someone who needs punishment to do what I ask... well.. the heart is lacking... the kink or head games are not.



Why the hell would I want to be with a "submissive man" that I need to force to submit?
I often feel I must be living in a parallel universe.
Either you are submissive and you want to submit to me, or you are not.
It ain't rocket science.
I would only have a male wife, that has the heart and soul of a submissive, if you have the
heart and soul and desire to be a good male wife, the training only involves learning how
to cook and clean and be the kind of wife, a woman is glad to come home too.

Fetch me a glass of that chilled organic red wine, while you cook my totally organic dinner, bring my slippers also.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/26/2009 4:19:49 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Lockit)
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