RE: Young subs and old ugly men

RE: Young subs and old ugly men (Full Version)

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Andalusite -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/29/2009 3:15:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I would contend that for those who seek something in particular from a play only situation (not a dynamic or relationship) compatibility isn't always a necessary ingredient. <snipped> There is a beauty in rope work. Done to what appears to be perfection, the art is fantastic. If the intricacy of the work is your thrill, would you settle for the inexperienced who's best ties are on his shoes? Rather, would you want the rope laid upon your skin, in lovely design, that makes your heart soar? Could your soul still sing with sloppy, inexperienced work that was only a disappointment of your hopes and expectations? Oh, I understand what you mean, now! For me, I can be in an LTR with someone who is top or bottom, without any D/s, so I didn't realise you specifically meant casual play. I'm not currently looking for that, but a few years ago, when I was single, I did get to explore a few things like that. Most of my partners were men around my age, who were potential relationship partners, but I sometimes specifically chose someone who I felt was likely to stay casual, such as women, poly couples, or older men. I could potentially be attracted to people in one of those categories, but it's less likely, and I felt I was less likely to be tempted into it getting more sexual than I wanted it to than with someone who I was actively attracted to and viewed as a date. I'm not as focused on it with rope bondage in general, but certainly suspensions, knifeplay, fireplay, singletails, etc. require competence and experience, regardless of age.

LadyPact -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/29/2009 4:28:18 PM)
Every once in a while, I get these things right. LOL. I guess that comes from being an old broad.

asianchloe -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/29/2009 5:39:24 PM)
I find older men attractive, not because of age per se, but because of the accomplishments and experiences the older man has, on average. I've also been attracted to men my own age, but they were generally considered very emotionally mature and had the intelligence and success of most men 10+ older. I find myself attracted to younger men (and women) as well but usually not for long-term relationships, unless it is a remarkable individual. quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Actually many girls who like older men find AGE an attractive feature..... I understand it, Sure I don't LOVE the idea, but someone once asked me.. "Steel, what is it you think you have that they don't?" I thought for awhile and couldn't find an answer and as I went to speak he stopped me and said "That isn't even the Big Question, Now ask yourself what is it that they DO have that you Obviously DON'T!" Master Len, Older man, Not Unattractive had more women MY AGE following him around waiting for him to beat the shot out of them and film it and then cash in on it. Very FEW of his models are paid models. Just remember sometimes it's not what you got but how you use it that drives them wild. Steel

asianchloe -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/29/2009 5:52:06 PM)
You're right in general but May-December romances are more accepted these days with the woman being older: The classic, Mrs Robsinson Prime (Uma Thurman +younger man) Lipstick Jungle (40+ Nico and 25 yo boyfriend) and actually this year's Oscar nominee, The Reader and of course, Demi More, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Madonna... Oh, I'm forgetting one of my favorite movies: Igby Goes Down quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Remember the movie Entrapment? Catherina Zeta-Jones was 23, while her love interest Sean Connery was maybe a hundred and five. Hot or gross, you be the judge. One thing's for sure, though -- you won't see those ages reversed on the guy and girl in a mainstream Hollywood film.

MARIEL -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 3:21:28 AM)
well, if you had two women, equal in spirit and mind,way of act etc,and both looked young,you could only make a difference in five years maybe(the older happened to look young)..whom would you choose,when you knew the age? Or, if you have the same, but maybe you could see the age in the older woman,but not devastating,still good looking-whom would you choose? Or,if you are for women instead/or only men, use the same. why do you never see same age kindred ones? if "everything" was in order,would you choose that? if you could have a younger one too? I think,when I look at profiles, many limit their search for ´the young ones´,and have explicit demands for looks as well, but excuse me-look like hell themselves. Nothing against that,sure its okay etc etc,but, isnt that to set themself up for failures,in general-not always of course. And no. as I have said, all for one and one for all. And no looks are wrong. Im the first to believe that. But, Im also realistic. But I do strongly believe in "beauty of eye beholder"/"no standard form". but lets be honest, thats not what we see in society,generally speaking. note.a generalisation.

eyesopened -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 4:54:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL why do you never see same age kindred ones? *Never??* Maybe that's an internet thing? Of all the established couples I know, 99% are of a like age. Every event I've attended, the couples or poly families have all been within a 3-10 year span of each other. 10 years isn't that much when your like 45. I searched my memory for a Dom I have served, even in casual activities and cannot remember there ever being one who was old than I. One was just one year younger, another just 3 years younger but there was one 14 years my junior and my beloved Master is 9 years my junior.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 6:10:00 AM)
Well, speaking as an ugly bloke/Dom, if I get to pick and choose I will do. Call Me crazy.

Andalusite -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 7:28:06 AM)
Mariel, my last boyfriend, who was also my first Dom, is 4 years younger than I am. Most of my partners have been pretty close to my age. [:D] As far as the two similar-looking people but different ages, a lot of Dominant men would want both, and a lot who are monogamous would pick based on things like chemistry, BDSM and D/s interaction/reaction, interests, and other factors. LadyPact you don't seem that old to me! [:D] Seriously, I've gone on a couple of dates with a somewhat older gentleman, and felt he was attractive in spite of the age difference, but there was less than a 20 year gap. Some other older people are also beautiful, but for a relationship, I think it is easier if they are closer to my age.

asianchloe -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 11:57:23 AM)
If they were equal in spirit and mind, I would probably choose the younger one since I'm attracted to mature, accompished individuals and if a younger woman (or man) rivals an older one, I'd choose the younger, not so much for looking younger but for being youger and having accomplished as much as an older person. quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL well, if you had two women, equal in spirit and mind,way of act etc,and both looked young,you could only make a difference in five years maybe(the older happened to look young)..whom would you choose,when you knew the age?

Lockit -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 12:16:50 PM)
I don't see anyone as equal to another. There is always a difference. Even if it is only scent and how I respond to their scent. If it is that hard to pick... I won't... I will be greedy and pick both! OP.. It seems you are looking for one answer... most pick the younger... kind of thing. Stop worrying about it. Be who you are... do what you do and don't put too much into what people say in a profile. Many profiles are nothing based in reality. Focus on you and what you want and find those that match... focusing on those that don't is a waste of time. If I did that, I would be out of here real fast because few want what I have going on. But... I don't focus on them.. I focus on friends here and the one that might be able to handle me and what I have going on. A much better place to come from... I promise.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 4:05:58 PM)
So - OP, if they are old and attractive, does that make the young sub thing better? since apparently you have the issue with the young/old ugly thing, not the young/old dicotomy.

NormalOutside -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 4:12:35 PM)
Is it wrong that the thread title turns me on? [X(]

kiwisub12 -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 5:14:31 PM)
Uhhhhh .......... huh?

asianchloe -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 8:44:37 PM)
I thought it as the OP was wondering why the young pretty subs choose someone "inferior" to them on two levels. Young pretty subs could choose doms their own age who are less attractive, or equally attractive yet older subs, but the OP seems confused why they would choose someone who is both less physically attractive and much older. It's possible that some subs have self-esteem issues that drive their desire for abusive/exploitative relationships and they don't believe they deserve someone better (ie, their physical equal). This is just one theory. quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 So - OP, if they are old and attractive, does that make the young sub thing better? since apparently you have the issue with the young/old ugly thing, not the young/old dicotomy.

loveandlight87 -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/30/2009 11:26:12 PM)
I agree with Rumpus. I think I must have had my soft squishy girl brain tained by the Silver Foxes on screen. Sean Connery fans self to keep from fainting OMG and Paul Newman yeesh ... Dennis Quaid. The list goes on and on. I have a similar attraction to older women. I don't know why, it just is. Since I was in my teens. While some youngsters are beautiful and pleasant to look at, for some reason they just don't hold the same appeal to me emotionally, mentally or physically. My Sir is 17 years my senior. I chased him though. (I caught him too!) He initially thought I was on the young side, and while he found me very attractive, he didn't hold much hope going in that there would be anything there to connect us. (I was 1 year younger than the self-imposed cut off point he had.) He just thought he would get some rope practice in. Hah! I showed him! Love you Sir!

Prinsexx -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/31/2009 12:04:36 AM)
My conclusions about age are these: 1. That we can legislate against discrimination but we will never irradiate prejudice. 2. That what we most see as critical in others we are perhaps gulty of ourselves.... It's ageism. It runs deep in all of our psyches... both individually and collectively. There are deep reasons stemming from nurturing as kids as to why we favour others of a certain age or not. And there are innate schemas anyway that enable us, at a mere glance, to assess, quite accurately, the age of another, no matter what the plastic. I love younger guys. But those very mechanisms that 'make' me think of older guys as 'has beens' also affect the way in which the world sees me. As I get older the responses to my profile get less. As it happens that doesn't affect me.. I am happiest with a much younger Master who appreciates my experience. But age is not going to go away as an issue no matter how we legislate. And it runs as deeply through the smbd world as it does through the world at large. And then there's racism, and sexism etc etc.... Pontification over for the day.. and all before coffee...

LadyPact -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/31/2009 1:12:59 AM)
Prinny, I'm sorry, but I disagree. I don't go along with the thinking that an "ism" can be attached to personal preference. Nor do I think it should be. We're not talking about housing, jobs, or opportunities to be in the community. We're talking about who we chose to play with or have in intimate relations in our lives. I mean, are we really at the point where we're going to slap an "ism" on something just because someone picked a certain look for a partner?

IronBear -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/31/2009 8:15:10 AM)
Of course it is also a cultural thing in some cases. In the more enlightened societies about the globe, it is quite acceptable and in come cases preferable for the sweet young female to have a lover or better still a husband who is older (and presumably, wiser and more financially established) than someone her age. I do understand that there has been a tradition for younger ladies to pair up with older gentlemen in some areas of the USA. I have some memories of lady friends who's mothers were child brides to senior officers in both sides of the Civil War and who received their deceased husbands military pensions untill they too died. Here in dear old Aussie, society (as I found out personally) actively decries and indeed discriminates against such marriages. In the long run we are all different with differing wants and needs as well as different ideas of what is acceptable. I say let each choose his or her own partner and leave them alone to give it a fair go.. I see quite a few things which I neither like or agree with in todays society but as long as it doesn't have a negative impact on myself or my family, I'll defend their right to be different.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/31/2009 10:25:03 AM)
Since I am one of the guilty parties in a relationship with a younger and terribly pret-tay submissive, all I can say is: these things are mutual, folks. My boykin was attracted to women in my general age range from the start--not that he avoided women his own age, but he often found himself drawn to and relating to women in their thirties or older. Since I clocked over 35 I've met more and more younger men who find me attractive precisely BECAUSE I am over 35, not "in spite" of it. shrug I have no particular prejudices in this regard and have had attractions to and relationships with people in a very wide range of ages relative to my own. The package is secondary to the person; "sexy" is an inner quality, not a superficial one.

Kaiel -> RE: Young subs and old ugly men (3/31/2009 10:26:36 AM)
I don't quite get the initial posters question... but I will reply that I am 35 and you can see Me in My pic and My boy is 52... I don't consider him old and def. not ugly... to Me, he's hot hot hot... and I think he thinks I am pretty cute...LOL...

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