chiaThePet
Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Vendaval Dear Jack Hammer, Your appearance on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" has been move up in the schedule. The new metro-sexual-studly-you will be ready to be unwrapped and shared with the world before the spring mating season starts in earnest. The Producers quote:
ORIGINAL: chiaThePet This one time, they made me dress up in polyester golf shirts with tube socks and gladiator sandals, then tied me to a John Deer tractor and forced me to take the Cleveland Heterosexual Obstacle Course For The Inadvertently Man-dicapped. However, I just kept carving large penises in the otherwise rugged terrain, so they caved and bought me a do-it-yourself Clone Your Willy And Create A Dildo molding set in hopes self satisfaction would rid society of my evil, repugnant desires. I invited them to join me in the application process of saving their penis for prosperity. However, I substituted concrete for the silicone, and needless to say, they are all now rock hard. Gotta have a sense of humor in a world lacking civility. Jack Hammer (the pet) Fabulous, I think I'll wear my Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane Camouflage Sandals from the Spring Collection. Available for mere pennies at Neiman Marcus. A smart and sassy ensemble including, but not limited to, a military regulation ACU shirt, government spec FQ/PD04-04A 50/50 nylon-cotton ripstop with integrated blouse bellows for increased upper body mobility. Exquisitely pressed and creased, following a masculine yet shy line as they are tucked oh so manly into ACU government spec, permanent press, wrinkle resistant army combat trousers. Easy access slanted cargo pockets for a quick grab and puff on one of those Camels during a hot oasis night. Or whatever a boy might grab in there. A spectacular bonus of the ever popular knee pocket for knee pad insert when performing maintenance on those pipes. Handy tool belt included. Normally I'd let do with the standard issue ACU Uniform Boonie Hat, but this madcap season it is all about the mix and match. All together now, "Yes We Can". Soooooooooo I'm opting for that good ol' stand by and stand up for musky, manly men all across this glorious little globe of ours. Yes ladies and germs, and no squeeling here, the wide brim, flared flap, cross stitched, one of a million, Catapillar Heavy Equipment Cap. Settle down now, settle down and grab a hanky. Yes, the hanky is back, wave em' high, wave em' proud, "We're here to blow and we want you to know". Woot Woot. Can I get a grunt? No, not that grunt, the one with the stars in his eyes. Jackin (the pet)
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Love is a many splendid sting. You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.
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