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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 3:33:02 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

IrishMist and Petruchio will stay after school


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

detention

/places a paddle in plain sight



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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 4:08:18 PM   
Arpig


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1. Caitlyn...you are in no way representative of 20-somethings, or 30-somethings, for that matter. Despite your claims of "whaked immaturity" in another thread, I happen to think you are very wise beyond your years...and know I don't mean wise as in wise-ass
2. Age v. experience. Ok here goes, but do me a favour and read through to the end before responding....I know a damn sight more than any 20-year-old on here..period - this is not debatable. However, as to whether the knowledge I have is useful or relevant, or if I make good use of that knowledge is debatable (not really...I know tons of useless shit, and generally ignore the uncomfortable facts that are relevant ).
Age DOES equal experience, but that doesn't mean age=wisdom.
Personally, I do not find it annoying when a young person comes across as thinking he/she knows it all, what I do feel is a bit nostalgic, for that wonderful feeling before life showed me just how damned little I really do know.
And when a young person does aknowledge that they know very little (still sucking up to Caitlyn - she's cute), well that gives me hope that at least some of us will end up one day knowing a whole hell of lot.
And as for the OP's rant & stereotypical Doms/subs....I don't understand why it should bother anybody so much what other people do....I am me, and you are you. If you don't like me, I don't give a fuck, and if you don't like you....get counseling.

< Message edited by Arpig -- 1/28/2006 4:10:42 PM >


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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 4:11:53 PM   
Arpig


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It isn't age that makes me wise...it's the vast expanse of forehead




<----------------

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RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/28/2006 4:50:21 PM   
Nendarye


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quote:

Well...I'll be damned...someone woke up without a blow job this morning

LMFAO Mist, sometimes...you are in rare form.

quote:

Submission feels like a need to me. One that I'm not always thrilled to have.

Crazytwice, I too can relate to this statement. I am not always pleased with my submission, but it's a need deep within me to allow freedom to.

quote:

Obedience would be the gift.

I agree. Obedience is a gift that you give. It's a conscious choice on your part.

quote:

personally, i favor submitting to Linda Blair...She's so sexy.

Ok, my turn to say ew...

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 6:57:23 PM   
perverseangelic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

If we equate the two terms, as MHOO314 does above, we lose some distinctions. Maturity by definition really seems to have more to do with biological development rather than any emotional or mental kind. Wisdom by definition seems to relate more directly to insight of various kinds, so it's probably more useful in this context.


Agreed. I think that by and large, maturity comes with age, becuase it's often affected by the simple stuff like hormones. I think many teenagers can't think clearly b/c of all the crud coursing through their veins.

Wisdom, I'm more shakey on. I think it is possible to be wise AND young. I think general wisdom is often a produce of older age, but, again, spesific wisdom is a product of interest.

I am wise about some things because I care to study them. I am wiser than people older than me because they lack that interest.

quote:



I'm not trying to be condescending - honestly not. I was just noting a kind of certainty, arrogance, and petulance that seems to occur more regularly in relation to some of the younger, more omnipresent voices here. They can do as they please - they owe nothing to me. In turn I calls 'em as I sees 'em.


Truthfully, I see arogance much more often in older posters. This could be becuase there is a larger set of people in the over-30 set than there are in the 20-somethings. At least that regularly and vocally post here.

I think there are some young people here who voice their opinions decidedly and unashamadly. I think that this is sometimes missread as arogance. Often, people write what -they- know for -them.- That is, that which is fact for them. They write it as fact, but qualify that it is only fact within their life. However, I've seen cases where this is stated very forcefully. I think this can be read as acting as if one knows everything, when in fact it's more about knowing their own self and dynamic intimatly.

My point all along has been that we are all of us on a path toward greater learning. I have even argued that those older than me have more experience and most likely some things to teach me - however, it's not impossible that a younger person might teach me something too, just less likely in my view. Personally, I still think age = experience = wisdom. Is it a gross generalization? Sure. Is it often true? Yes, more of often than not.


quote:


When precisely did generalities become a bad thing? If someone proves themselves the exception to the rule, that's cool with me. The rule still holds.


I find that generalizations are false more often than they are true, and that you can find so many counter examples to each generlization that they become pretty much useless.

I try to avoid them if I can and realize that people will fall outside of my stereotypes and preconceptions far more often than they will fall within them.

quote:


BTW, I looked at your pics, perverseangelic - you seem as wise as Yoda to me.


I'm feelin' a tad slow today, but I think this is a compliment. Thank you :)




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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 6:59:38 PM   
perverseangelic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

2. Age v. experience. Ok here goes, but do me a favour and read through to the end before responding....I know a damn sight more than any 20-year-old on here..period - this is not debatable. However, as to whether the knowledge I have is useful or relevant, or if I make good use of that knowledge is debatable (not really...I know tons of useless shit, and generally ignore the uncomfortable facts that are relevant ).
Age DOES equal experience, but that doesn't mean age=wisdom.
Personally, I do not find it annoying when a young person comes across as thinking he/she knows it all, what I do feel is a bit nostalgic, for that wonderful feeling before life showed me just how damned little I really do know.
And when a young person does aknowledge that they know very little (still sucking up to Caitlyn - she's cute), well that gives me hope that at least some of us will end up one day knowing a whole hell of lot.
And as for the OP's rant & stereotypical Doms/subs....I don't understand why it should bother anybody so much what other people do....I am me, and you are you. If you don't like me, I don't give a fuck, and if you don't like you....get counseling.


I actually totally agree with you. You have more experience than I have, period. No argument.

What I argue is that you -don't- have more experience in every area. Overall, of course! And you could probably give me lessons. :) But there -are- areas where I know more than you. Not many, of course, but some. And I'd not be being arogant to try to offer advice in those areas.

I think it's important, too, that people of EVERY age realize they're gonna learn more. I mean, we're gonna learn till we're dead. Or, at least, I'm gonna work very hard to make sure I do,.

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 7:25:14 PM   
IronBear


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Of course the smart ones know we can all something from everyone we meet if we take the time to do so.... Our arrogance is that we don't feel it is worthy of spending our precious time.

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 7:47:52 PM   
Arpig


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Perverse...I thought that was the point I was making, that my knowledge/experience may not be relevant in any given situation...if you are having computer problems, it probably is. If it is car trouble...ask a log..it knows more about cars than me

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 7:47:55 PM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

But there -are- areas where I know more than you. Not many, of course, but some. And I'd not be being arogant to try to offer advice in those areas.


Keeping in mind that this is a BDSM discussion board, I, personally, would love to hear what you have to say. What areas of expertise do you have? I'm all for learning new things.

Celeste

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 7:51:30 PM   
Arpig


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being unbearably and unexpectedly sweet My pet is working tonight, so I am planning on surprising her by making dinner for her when she gets in

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!


Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 8:03:53 PM   
perverseangelic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

But there -are- areas where I know more than you. Not many, of course, but some. And I'd not be being arogant to try to offer advice in those areas.


Keeping in mind that this is a BDSM discussion board, I, personally, would love to hear what you have to say. What areas of expertise do you have? I'm all for learning new things.

Celeste


Eh, I offer my opinion when I have one, which is most times, but gods alone know if I have anything I'd call expertise when it comes to BDSM. Unless you count being expert at working on making my relationship better.

I do have opinions, though, and experiences, which I try to offer for what they're worth. I figure that's all I can do. That and learn from anyone who has anything I can learn :)

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 8:23:15 PM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

Unless you count being expert at working on making my relationship better.


I'd say that probably counts more than anything you could ever share about making floggers. :)

Celeste

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 8:25:53 PM   
siamsa24


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quote:


quote:


BTW, I looked at your pics, perverseangelic - you seem as wise as Yoda to me.



I'm feelin' a tad slow today, but I think this is a compliment. Thank you :)



I think what he ment to say is that you're a hottie

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 9:11:27 PM   
brightspot


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quote:

mmmmmmm I would say age is the worst marker for to identify experience or wisdom...


I would say with "Experience" age doesn't matter as much.
As for "Wisdom" it does.



*Brightspot

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RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/28/2006 9:27:27 PM   
truesub4u


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

LMAO Petruchio...do you happen to have a step by step manual?


Irish, naturally I prefer oral to manual stimulation any time.
Lessons start at 6p SHARP and I DO give oral exams!

quote:

Damn... getting hungry now... LOL


trusub, you are merely reconfirming what I have long suspected! (grinning ear to ear)




Do I dare ask what I have confirmed?.....

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/28/2006 10:24:30 PM   
perverseangelic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Perverse...I thought that was the point I was making, that my knowledge/experience may not be relevant in any given situation...if you are having computer problems, it probably is. If it is car trouble...ask a log..it knows more about cars than me


I was trying to agree with you :) It just came out convoluted.

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RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/29/2006 6:20:26 AM   
LadiesBladewing


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Your submission is not a gift. You do not surrender a gift to someone you recognise as dominant over you. You DO give your trust and your faith that you will be safe and secure in that person's care and control. Obedience is not a gift. It's a condition


Sorry, but obedience is not a condition. It's something that I choose to follow. Get that? I CHOOSE to be obedient, not because I am being ordered to, or because it's expected...but because I CHOOSE to be.



Whether or not submission is a gift or an expectation depends completely on the relationship. In our relationship, obedience is -not- something left to the submissive's choice. If they can't obey, they clearly don't belong in a relationship with someone who requires obedience as a condition of the relationship -- and we do.

If you get to pick and choose whether you will be obedient, who, exactly, is in the dominant position in the relationship? In our household, there is no question that it is us. We are very cognizent of our servants' needs -- and if we aren't we ask. We decide how those needs will be met, and when they will be met... and we expect that when we tell our servants to do something, while they may respectfully ask "how" or even "why", that they will certainly do what we have told them to do.

For some reason, it seems dichotomous to me that there is even a question that -- whether temporarily or permanently -- if one is in a D/s relationship, that relationship includes obedience as a given, during the time that one has agreed to be submissive to another... if it is for a scene, then it ends at the end of the scene, yes -- but still, it is not a choice -during- the scene to disobey... and if it is for -life-, then the understanding is there that obedience is a way of life, not an "option".

Lady Zephyr

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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/29/2006 8:47:37 AM   
Oberonrex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Of course the smart ones know we can all something from everyone we meet if we take the time to do so.... Our arrogance is that we don't feel it is worthy of spending our precious time.


Well said Sir! (as usual)

I've largely been sitting back on this one (single malt for me), and watching. Age gives us many chances for experience, but that does not mean that those older have taken them. Nor does experience always lead to wisdom. Truly wise people, like IronBear, listen and learn from all. For example, though I don't always agree with her, I like reading LA's posts because even when I disagree I get some food for thought. I would love to buy her a coffee one day and talk about a variety of things, including sex magic as it is clear she has far more experience with that than do I. I enjoy caitlyn's post, as they are almost always enjoyable and provocative in terms of thought. The same can be said of many others here, male and female, and there are several with whom I would love to sit down over a coffee, ale, or something stronger, and just chat. May I one day be so able to do. My thanks to all who post.

/relurk

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RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/29/2006 8:54:44 AM   
IrishMist


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quote:

relationship includes obedience as a given, during the time that one has agreed to be submissive to another


Exactly. I was not trying to imply that once I have submitted to someone that I would then have the option of being obedient or not. Only that until I have chosen to give myself to someone, obedience is still my choice. Even then, I still have a choice of whether or not to obey...the outcome would indeed be disasterous if I chose not to...no doubt about that...but the fact remains that I still have the choice.



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RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/29/2006 9:30:00 AM   
Kidsphoenixx


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when i got my lower back tattoo, my son ( who still lives in Australia....i too am an Aussie), told me that what i had had done is called an "arsehat"....which makes a weird kinda sense as a slang for that tattoo, but not much sense as an insult.lol
( my opinion only of course.)

Kidsphoenixx ( previously, julj)

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