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Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:09:59 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		I am new to the D/s lifestyle, My Master talks to me most of the time on IM or through text, rarely do I get a phone call. When he does decide to see me, it's for a short and brief sex encounter, then he leaves... this is my problem. Is this supposed to be normal, is he just training me to want him more? I don't know about you other subs, but I am really frustrated, and almost to the point of saying I don't want to do this anymore. Please enlighten me on this...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:11:29 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Is he married?

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:15:37 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		No he is not married, but I am beginning to to think there might be someone else.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:17:54 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Have you asked Him for more?

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:21:48 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		I sent him an IM last night after he left me, he was here 45 minutes and left.. almost like bolted! He told me to wait right here( pointing at my computer) and said he would be with me in 30 minutes. Two hours later and few angry text's from me, he told me to be patient. I left him a note explaining, in my opnion, I am allowed to have one, that I was not satisified with the quality time he is giving me and that if this is making me unhappy, what is he going to do about it, His job is to keep his sub happy and taken care of, Right?

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:22:47 AM   
MsWolfPrincess


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		There can be a multitude of reasons why he is doing things the way he is.  He may have something to hide, he may be conditioning you, he may just be in it for his own pleasure, who knows.  If it doesn't feel right to you, then you have a right to question it.  Have you tried sharing your thoughts with him?  If he refuses to give you anything, or responds negatively to you after your respectfully approaching him, then maybe it's not the best place for you to be.  Just my two pennies worth.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:24:59 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		Yes I understand that there may be reasons, but to leave me hanging and not answer my IM's, I have put it out to him, via text and IM, that his sub is not happy about this, so far this morning...nothing!

(in reply to MsWolfPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:26:17 AM   
Anaquot


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		He is training you alright, to live on table scraps.
Your profile raises questions...a couple? and you are here, asking this?

There are much higher caliber Doms out there. I speak from experience.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:28:12 AM   
MsWolfPrincess


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		It sounds, then, that he has no concern for you and only himself.  My experience with people like this is that it isn't going to get better.  Go with what your gut tells you. 

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:29:17 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		Yep your right he has me posting everything as a couple without thinking. I guess I really need to re-thnk my situation with him, he just may not be the right Dom for me.

(in reply to Anaquot)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:29:41 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Sometimes I think lifestyle people forget that the fundamental foundation within all relationships is the same kinky or not.

(in reply to Anaquot)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:32:10 AM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		If he is your Master, then asking him would be the best way to go about it.
I have always thought of said situations in a vanilla sense......that certain "radar" comes in handy with any relationships...even D/s. 
BTW,  I peeked at your profile and you are beautiful.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:32:21 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		First, I'm sorry you're going through this.  I know it's difficult.

Second, showing your anger about it will rarely get you what you want.  You are the submissive, and while many of your wants should be met that doesn't mean that they all will be, and not necessarily on your time schedule.

Try to put yourself in his shoes.  Not all people enjoy talking on the phone and prefer to use the computer.  He's not the first Dom that I've heard of that finishes having sex and leaves within minutes.  He asked you to be patient and you got more angry. 

Patience is one of the most difficult things to learn.  We all crave time with our Doms/Masters or we wouldn't be in the relationship.  Only he knows if he is training you or if all he wants is short conversations and some sex and run.  Let him know calmly and respectfully what you want from him.  Here's an example:  "You know, my ideal would be if we could have contact each day for at least a short time on the computer and if we could talk a couple of times a week.  I enjoy your company so much that I wish you could stay with me more than a few minutes after sex so that when you leave I could feel that I truly pleased you."  If you put it in terms of him being pleased, even though it is taking care of YOUR wants, you are more likely to get it.

Yes, a sub's wants should be fulfilled but by simply demanding it chances are you won't get it.  It may be a case of incompatible goals for the relationship.


_____________________________



(in reply to MsWolfPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:32:58 AM   
cantilena


Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Heritagesub

I am new to the D/s lifestyle, My Master talks to me most of the time on IM or through text, rarely do I get a phone call. When he does decide to see me, it's for a short and brief sex encounter, then he leaves... this is my problem. Is this supposed to be normal, is he just training me to want him more? I don't know about you other subs, but I am really frustrated, and almost to the point of saying I don't want to do this anymore. Please enlighten me on this...


You may almost be to the point of saying you don't want to do this anymore, but if it were me, I'd be way beyond the point of saying I don't want to do this anymore.

Usually, I'm not one who reflexively says "bolt".  In this case, though.... bolt.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:37:46 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you Chamberqueen, your thoughts made my brain finally kick in... patience is NOT one of my best virtues, LOL, I know I need to learn that, but damm it's hard. I will wait and esxplain to him how this makes me feel and hopefully he has the right answer for me, If he doesn't then I know he is not right for me.

(in reply to cantilena)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:38:18 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...His job is to keep his sub happy and taken care of, Right?


if that's what He signed up for, then yes.
 
if you are assuming that the job description you mentioned is automatic to anyone/everyone in a D/s relationship, then no.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:43:45 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		His words, not mine...Make your Master happy and Master will make sub happy. and no I am not assuming, have learned not to do the, the Hard way, lol.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:48:16 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		It sure sounds like a very unsatisfying relationship for you.  If you are hoping that it will change, I suggest the you consider that it may not.  My advice is to begin a search for someone who will provide you with what you are looking for.  If he truly wanted to teach you patience, he could easily do it while he is on the room.  It sounds like you are not a priority for him, and that he has other things he'd rather do with his time, knowing he can just leave you there waiting patiently until he's ready to pick up again.  Good luck to you, sweetie.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:53:03 AM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Heritagesub

I am new to the D/s lifestyle, My Master talks to me most of the time on IM or through text, rarely do I get a phone call. When he does decide to see me, it's for a short and brief sex encounter, then he leaves... this is my problem. Is this supposed to be normal, is he just training me to want him more? I don't know about you other subs, but I am really frustrated, and almost to the point of saying I don't want to do this anymore. Please enlighten me on this...




The question you should ask yourself is whether this is something you can live with.  Does it really matter if it's because he's married, or has another girl, or he just likes to keep it at this level?  Are any of those possibilities going to be acceptable to you? 

(in reply to Heritagesub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Leaves me wanting - 3/31/2009 6:53:28 AM   
Heritagesub


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		Oh Great! When I said I was new to this lifestyle, I really meant new... this is my first D/s relationship and am trying to learn all there is to this, I never knew if I was in training, or just being used to satisfiy his carnal urges. I wanted to put my trust in him, make him happy and do my best to be a good sub...The sound of all your responses is telling me, he is not right for me. Today is the day, he will either **** or get off the pot, so to say.

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 20
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