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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:18:03 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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I'd walk. I spent too many years working on rebuilding the self esteem that my so-called peers in childhood had damaged.

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Post #: 21

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:27:48 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
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From: SW London (UK)
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I'm a transgendered female who had parents (both) who did this to me. I still get this from a lot of people who don't know me and who aren't bothered about finding out. If I got it from someone who potentially was meant to be close to me I'd just lump them with the rest of these people and move on, without any hesitation whatsoever. It wouldn't even be worth an ounce of emotion either. Just goodbye and good luck.

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Post #: 22

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:28:34 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
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i would have two words for him.
they are not Merry Christmas.

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Post #: 23

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:35:57 AM

Vanityfull

Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
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i guess could see it working with some. i have struggled with weight issues(trying to gain some) and being called scrony during play really got me off, but im also way into humilation. ugly personally would piss me off very much and i dont see many who would enjoy it, the word seems to overly destructive to really use, i could see it working in theory but we put alot of weight into our looks as a society and being called ugly can really fuck with your pych, as anyone whos gone to highschool would know. i would consider using such blunt insults as edge play, very risky and not advisable.

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Post #: 24

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:47:42 AM

CollaredLisa

Posts: 135
Joined: 3/28/2009
From: Germany
Status: offline

I've been bullied a lot in my past, calling me ugly is one of the things I can't stand at all. In fact, I have to be convinced that I'm not every now and then.

So my reaction to being called that wouldn't be pretty...

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 25

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 10:49:51 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression

Hello,
I am new to all this and i've been reading about this lifestyle for some time now.
I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names, but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?
And what is their reaction?

Thank you

-Shino, futur dom

If my Master said that to me and was being serious or mean I can honestly say it would not bring out the finer points in my personality.

I was in a demeaning, self esteem trashing, peronality beat down relationship once. I'm not stupid enough to do it again thanks.

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Post #: 26

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 11:08:41 AM

deeppression

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

Wow thanks for all the replies.
I would like to precise that I respect women, and that when I call them names (only during sex) it's consentant. I was only wondering, about the physical aspect.

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 27

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 11:15:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

not sure what you mean by the physical aspect?

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Post #: 28

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 12:06:55 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Oh hell yes. If you even tread near insulting my physical appearance? Done. And I'm a girl that loves really really dark humiliation. But calling me ugly? That's not a hot erotic mind fuck, that's just being a prick. I don't know how a woman can act and feel sexy and slutty and desirable when some asshat is calling her ugly. Nope.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

If someone told me that as part of a scene, I'd tell them they had shit in their eyes, and I would walk away. Don't mess with my self-image, that's all I'm gonna say .

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Post #: 29

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 12:18:14 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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If someone called me a slut in other than an affectionate, loving way, there would be a huge problem. If someone called me names within the course of a relationship, there would be a huge problem. Not everyone who is Dominant is verbally abusive and not everyone who is submissive wants or tolerates verbal abuse.
Davan

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Post #: 30

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 12:55:32 PM

crazyredhead1957

Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression

Hello,
I am new to all this and i've been reading about this lifestyle for some time now.
I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names, but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?
And what is their reaction?

Thank you

-Shino, futur dom

i will say this. You can call me anything and everything else, as i love humiliation. BUT, You say anything negative about my size or my weight and i'm OUTTA THERE, no questions asked. i'm plus-sized and the vanilla world is nasty enough about that, i won't take it from my Dominant. i daresay the "f" word would cross my lips at that point.

(in reply to deeppression)

Post #: 31

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 1:29:20 PM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression
but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?

No. It's not something I'd say to someone I liked. (I wouldn't call a sub "stupid" either).

As well as that, I can't help feeling that if I'm telling a sub I'm with I think they're ugly, that doesn't exactly reflect greatly on me either.

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(in reply to deeppression)

Post #: 32

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 1:57:16 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

I'll chime in with the rest about it being edge play, needing to really understand the person addressed so, it would need to be something that that bottom really wanted, & I'd probably still be uncomfortable about it as a top . . . . . & I would never never never tolerate it as a bottom . . . ..

A side note: I've gotten a number of one-liner cmails (mostly from malesubs, but a few maledoms, too) telling me I'm ugly, in whatever pseudo-clever way . . . . . (Yes, I block / delete / & store their email in the notes section on their profiles . . . lol) . . . . . But, outside of just random acting out, I'm not sure what's the point of spreading the hate, it only gets them a reduced operating radius . . . .

Anyways, interesting thread, reading the replies was useful . . . . .

Best,
The Demon, Kia

(in reply to deeppression)

Post #: 33

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 3:14:05 PM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

-fast reply-

Was this thread supposed to be in the humor section?

It sure has been funny.

I suspect if a girl is simply your submissive it might be relevant to actively concern yourself with her superficial emotional responses; but then I don’t quite understand this whole “humiliation” as a fetish thing. If I were to state to anyone that they were fat or ugly it would simply be a fact based upon my opinion.

Hell nothing wrong with honesty; if someone were to come up and tell me I was chubby and needed to lose some weight I agree and tell them I was aware of this and that as soon as this issue reached the top of my priority list I’d deal with it. But I reckon that might be a bit different for me since I dwell on the dominant side of things.

As for humiliating a “slave”; who cares? 99 percent of you aren’t actually “slaves” anyway. If an actual slave was ugly she’d be well aware of it and most likely quite comfortable in her own skin.

But honestly I doubt that any of us that have ever actually seen a “mastered woman”, have ever seen an ugly one. A plain or unattractive one perhaps; but ugly, not in my experience.

You see a man doesn’t need to coddle a woman with superficial context in order to accentuate the beauty in her nature. While humiliation can be a valuable tool in training a wench (namely an ego maniacal type) it wouldn’t seem a beneficial action for a man to use to simply get his kicks. Unless of course he's extremely sadistic and enjoys crushing the human spirit.

< Message edited by xBullx -- 4/1/2009 3:34:24 PM >

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Post #: 34

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 3:52:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I would never find it enjoyable to call someone ugly or fat, or anything like that. Regardless of what thay might do for or to them emotionally, what does it say about me? Seriously, either I have so little respect for myself that I only choose partners I do not find attractive, or I am so shallow that physical looks and attraction are that important to me. Obviously, if I am getting that into being with someone, I do not find them ugly or I wouldnt be interested in playing with them in the first place.

DV

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 35

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 3:55:59 PM

TaoWoman

Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I spent too many years working on rebuilding the self esteem that my so-called peers in childhood had damaged.

This has been my experience as well and a hard road at that. Even now, it is so difficult to accept a compliment and I always qualify my appreciation with comments such as "I have my Mother(Dad) to thank for that trait, etc...

Physical appearance humiliation has always been discussed before I have played with someone or explored a relationship and so far, it has always been respected.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
...But honestly I doubt that any of us that have ever actually seen a “mastered woman”, have ever seen an ugly one. A plain or unattractive one perhaps; but ugly, not in my experience.

Somewhere in my life path, "ugly" became a verb to describe a behavior, an adjective to describe an attitude or mindset based on hate...but never a face or a body. Perhaps growing up seeing the proverbial "ugly duckling" in the mirror makes the rest of the people in the world seem more beautiful by comparison ...

I like the expression "ugly is as ugly does"~

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(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 36

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 3:57:11 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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ehhh sticks and stones.... I call my son in law Loser Boy.... I call one of my brothers Fat Boy tho recently he shed 60 lbs I sill call him Fat Boy. I call another one of my brothers Fem Wad. You get the idea. If you have self esteem issues you prolly shouldn't hang with me and mine.

And yes we are a very close family. We get together a couple times a month more in the summer. We would do anything for each other.

BadOne

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 4:02:10 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ehhh sticks and stones.... I call my son in law Loser Boy.... I call one of my brothers Fat Boy tho recently he shed 60 lbs I sill call him Fat Boy. I call another one of my brothers Fem Wad. You get the idea. If you have self esteem issues you prolly shouldn't hang with me and mine.

And yes we are a very close family. We get together a couple times a month more in the summer. We would do anything for each other.

BadOne

TSK TSK TSK! And I was beginning to think you had such words of wisdom! LOL :::Shakes her head and laughs:::

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 4:14:20 PM

marysdream

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline

one we are humans...with feelings...getting called hot erotic names that make us hot is one thing...being degraded is sick and borders on abuse!
ree!

(in reply to deeppression)

Post #: 39

RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 4:32:17 PM

KneelforAnne

Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

I agree with crazyredhead1957 and Greedy on this one (and others!). It’s taken far too long for me to find my bearings after the “Frienemies” of childhood and adolescence.

The vanilla world IS nasty enough to larger women (and sometimes women in general) without having the one you’re with demean you …well…if that isn’t what you literally ask/beg for… J

I don’t know that I would have the guts to just walk out at that moment…true insults and barbs have a way of making me spin out and stall for an instant or two… but I am pretty sure I would crash and sure as hell never engage with that person again.

(in reply to marysdream)

Post #: 40

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