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no shows - 4/2/2009 4:05:26 PM   
fxman55


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		i and others have tried to talk to otherss...they don't respond back...i think that is very rude...if they don't want to talk then they should send a message saying that..,.i have been in this lifestyle for over 30yrs and have never seen the rudeness that is shown in this group...must be a lot of wanna be subs in here
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 4:09:49 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Feel better?

Yes.. it is quite often the blame of fake submissive's... it couldn't be anything else now could it?  If after thrity years you are sweating the small stuff... yikes!  Okay it can get to one... I have my bitch days... but starting a thread to call people who don't respond to you, fakes... well... how do you think that looks? 

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 4:12:03 PM   
kidwithknife


Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fxman55
if they don't want to talk then they should send a message saying that
So if they don't want to talk they should talk to you to let you know?  Um, ok.


_____________________________

We went to see the fall of Rome - I thought it would please us
To watch how the mighty go in a blaze of hubris
But I just stood there hypnotised by all the beautiful madness

(New Model Army, Into the Wind)

(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 4:23:24 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kidwithknife

quote:

ORIGINAL: fxman55
if they don't want to talk then they should send a message saying that
So if they don't want to talk they should talk to you to let you know?  Um, ok.



come on now there is a certain logic to that

BadOne


_____________________________

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(in reply to kidwithknife)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 4:24:27 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		*sighs*  No response IS a response.  You may not like it, but there is no obligation to talk to strangers online... even to tell them that you aren't interested.

(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 4:25:17 PM   
InTonguesslut


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		As i've said i very rarely respond to mail i get here. I'm ignorant like that. However would jsut like to point out that he can't be talking about me this time because Sir would have replied for me, he's good like that

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It's not shopping if you buy 10 items or less.

If it fits in a toaster, i can cook it.

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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:07:25 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'm getting this image of you stamping your foot while saying this....

After 30 years of being a part of this lifestyle, one would think these sort of things wouldn't come as such a surprise.  People choose to not respond for a variety of reasons and claiming they're all "wanna be subs" is a bit of a cop-out on your part.  Just accept it and move on.

Maybe you should take a look at this thread  http://www.collarchat.com/m_2538655/tm.htm 
You could use it as an opportunity to better "sell" your domliness.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:29:54 PM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

i and others have tried to talk to otherss...they don't respond back...i think that is very rude...if they don't want to talk then they should send a message saying that..,.i have been in this lifestyle for over 30yrs and have never seen the rudeness that is shown in this group...must be a lot of wanna be subs in here


How is any of this a "no show?"  It doesn't sound like someone promised to meet you than stood you up.  I assume you've tried to pick up women in public places before, right?  Did all of them talk to you? 

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 4/2/2009 5:30:20 PM >

(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:35:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If we say "thanks but no thanks" then one of two things happens. The first is that the guy thinks he's in a dialogue with us and we're just being shy. Or we're evil bitches for rejecting him at which point we get vitriol.

I don't know about you, but getting an email that says I'm too fat to fuck just doesn't put a smile on my face. One describing graphically how he hopes to slowly cut me up and then after torturing me, leave me to die, makes me feel really ill.

And if we don't respond to the emails importuning us in return to "thanks but no thanks", then we start getting the second sort.

If we don't say anything at all, no reply, then we don't get this shit.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to slaveboyforyou)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:42:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		And that's the truth of it DesFIP!  That is exactly the way it goes most of the time.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:48:55 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		It may or may not be your approach/what you are writing.

It may or may not be that some people have their mail controls set and your mail goes directly to their bulk folder.

It may or may not be that they got 6-10 pages of emails today ( a likely scenario if they are new).

"...i have been in this lifestyle for over 30yrs and have *never seen the rudeness that is shown in this group...must be a lot of wanna be subs in here "

* imoho: not exactly how to paint yourself in the most flattering light.





(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:49:57 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Or would you rather have the standard farewell greeting of [insert word} ________ off?

You claim to have been in the lifestyle 30 years - ever notice anything changing during this time?

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(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 5:50:02 PM   
kidwithknife


Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline 		The best approach to take to not getting a reply is to assume that there was something wrong with your mail.  It won't always actually be the case.  But that way you utilise it to give you motivation to improve your writing.  Which is far more productive then pouting about the nasty subs who won't talk to you.

_____________________________

We went to see the fall of Rome - I thought it would please us
To watch how the mighty go in a blaze of hubris
But I just stood there hypnotised by all the beautiful madness

(New Model Army, Into the Wind)

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 6:00:32 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		~~fast reply~~

well....i've definitely found that if the wanna-be dominants that message me would take the 3 minutes necessary to read my "i am collared and married and not looking for companionship, i'm here for the message boards and the message boards alone" profile, they wouldnt contact me, and wouldnt be so bent out of shape when i either dont reply and block them...or tell them that they cant read, and block them.

depends on my mood that day.
kitten

(in reply to kidwithknife)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 6:02:54 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		OP: if they don't want to talk then the act of sending you a message saying that they don't want to talk would be doing the exact thing they don't want to do.
 
As (if memory serves) Lucky Albatross says:

"No response is a response."

The act of not responding is a perfectly acceptable and effective way of telling you that they do not wish to communicate with you personally. It is in no way rude, and I wonder why you would even think that. If you telephoned a someone, would you think it rude of them not to answer a stranger's phone call?

People are under no obligation to respond to every stranger from around the globe, who clogs their inbox.






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(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 7:20:24 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

if they don't want to talk then they should send a message saying that


This is nonsense.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to fxman55)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 8:05:56 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Speaking as a sub who gets the same "no response" quite often, I can say that it feels like they're being rude when the roles are reversed as well. The thing is, I totally understand their reasons for doing so. I figure, I send them an introductory message, tell them what I'm looking for... If they actually peruse my profile and I don't hear anything from them, that's the same as a firm "no thank you."

You just shrug it off and move on.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 8:06:53 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		It really seems to be a race to the bottom in terms of mannerly comportment and respect. Submissive women complain of getting tons of rude emails, innuendo and form letters so they justify their rude behavior on that. Male Dominants complain of fakes, scams, and no responses and justify their rude behavior on that.

Ultimately it is a loose-loose scenario.

To defend or legitimize either position seems like folly to me.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 8:18:23 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Proper etiquette online is about as rare as mammals who lay eggs... they exist, but you very rarely see them in everyday life. The standards are lower here than in a F2F meeting. Most people are a little more diplomatic when approached at a group meeting or a play party...

But, thanks to the anonimity of the keyboard, things quickly devolve into Cheany-esqe phrases, and colorful descriptions of your family members...  The ladies have it right: since you can never be sure if the person contacting you is an actual human being, or some kind of internet nasty, who's just puttin' on a friendly face, it's just best to walk away... and don't make any kind of contact.

If they are not interested, then they are not interested. Case closed.

Why is this so hard for some to understand?

(in reply to UncleNasty)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: no shows - 4/2/2009 8:21:07 PM   
kidwithknife


Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline 		[quoteORIGINAL: UncleNasty

It really seems to be a race to the bottom in terms of mannerly comportment and respect. Submissive women complain of getting tons of rude emails, innuendo and form letters so they justify their rude behavior on that. Male Dominants complain of fakes, scams, and no responses and justify their rude behavior on that.

Ultimately it is a loose-loose scenario.

To defend or legitimize either position seems like folly to me.

Uncle Nasty
[/quote]I really don't think there's a legitimate comparison between someone not replying to a mail and the kind of abusive threats DesFIP describes.  They're not even in the same vague area.

I'll happily justify the first while condemning the second.

I don't think that anybody has some sort of entitlement to be replied to by a stranger.  (And that's the approach I take, for far more minor reasons.  I don't reply to someone if I can't be bothered).

I do however think it's entirely reasonable to suggest women on here are entitled to not being threatened with rape and torture or insulted about their weight just because some fucknugget can't handle rejection..


_____________________________

We went to see the fall of Rome - I thought it would please us
To watch how the mighty go in a blaze of hubris
But I just stood there hypnotised by all the beautiful madness

(New Model Army, Into the Wind)

(in reply to UncleNasty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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