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RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 7:30:14 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

just to update.....

have talked to the Dom in question and found out new information that makes the reason He had to let me go understandable....and as for taking me back He wishes he could but just cant.......He is honestly not as horrible as i made Him sound.....just hurt feelings fueled this post.


Did I read that right?

found out new information that makes the reason He had to let me go understandable....

and

as for taking me back He wishes he could but just cant...

then

.......He is honestly not as horrible as i made Him sound

Good lord, woman. You're still talking to this jackass?

Texas Maam



(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 7:46:48 AM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I live by the motto in vanilla and in BDSM,
Fool me once, Shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me.
If anyone pulled that trick with me I would be so long gone because my ex has been trying to find ways to get me back but I'm not falling for it. He was an ass and I left him for good reasons. I don't care how sincere he sounds, to me he sounds like a player, I'm not into being a yo-yo.
LadyJC

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 7:57:27 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Once a player; always a player.
They don't change, they can't, they won't.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LadyJC)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 8:13:16 AM   
MIstressCyn127


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		mmm sure sounds like your reacting and not thinking. I cant think of new info that would prevent himfrom taking u back.. I can say, that for sure there was not OPEN communication on his part the whole time.. I mean in order to find a sub, he had to have been looking, so unless he told u up front you were most likely not going to be the only one ( as in one of a group) or that he was always on the hunt and this was likely a temporary arrangement the two of you had, he wasnt being totally honest. I think honesty is paramount. If monogamy is important to you set it as a limit. I tell my subs straight up , im always looking for others to work with. If they wanna make a dream in their head that there is goign ot be this "one" thing going on between us, that is their option, but I'm totally upfront about not having only one sub.. ok thats my 2 cents

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 8:31:28 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

just to update.....

have talked to the Dom in question and found out new information that makes the reason He had to let me go understandable....and as for taking me back He wishes he could but just cant.......He is honestly not as horrible as i made Him sound.....just hurt feelings fueled this post.


Sub03...I'm having some trouble understanding why you would blame yourself for any of this. But, when I went to your profile, it says that you already have a new Dom (from the notes posted, you were looking in late January). Has that arisen since you posted this note? Or are you considering taking back an old Dom while being considered by a new one? Does your new Dom know this, or are you doing this behind his back? Or....do you just need to update your profile?

On line, we are only given the information that the poster choses us to have.

On a general note however, if the information was truly as originally posted, I would turn around and not look back. At 21, with your whole life ahead of you, and a ton of wonderful Dominants out there looking for a young, pretty submissive, I think you'll have lots of opportunities to find someone that meshes with you, heart/body/soul/mind. In some ways, as Mr Dicipline has stated....YOU have the power right now. Chose well.

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 9:33:00 AM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		Don't stay with this person...if he cannot commit to you, then why should he expect that from you? Don't even look back! There are much better people in the world.

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 2:47:12 PM   
MistressAlexaS


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		Tell him to fuck off and go play his mind games elsewhere. Your a sub not a toy to play with when shiney and new and then to be tossed when another new toy shows up. You can do alot better.

~Alexa

_____________________________

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 2:53:54 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

If your Dom let you go after 9 months together and said the reason that He let you go was because He found another and then a couple weeks later wanted you back would you take Him back????And you hear from another sub He knows differing stories on why He let you go......head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

Any advice greately appreciated......


In a word...

NO

If the situation is as you describe it, this person has honesty issues and if that's the sort of bullshit he's doing, cut your losses, put this down to "learning experience" and tell him NO. Firmly, clearly and consistently.

Then put him on ignore if need be.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 3:04:19 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

just to update.....

have talked to the Dom in question and found out new information that makes the reason He had to let me go understandable....and as for taking me back He wishes he could but just cant.......He is honestly not as horrible as i made Him sound.....just hurt feelings fueled this post.


As of 5:56pm EST 02/05/2006, your profile says:

Hapilly owned and no longer searching for a second Dom. YEAY!!! the search has finally come to an end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are collared, why are you asking us if you should consider going back to Dom #1?

That definitely raises the "What's wrong with this picture?" hairs on the back of my neck.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 4:18:49 PM   
LadyKim


Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		From the information you have provided, he sounds like someone whose self esteem is based on who he is with at the time. If he has someone then he feel like he is Master Somebody who can have whomever he wants, thus he continues looking for that 'dream subbie' he has in his minds eye. When 'wonder subbie' falls through, he needs to know he has SOMEONE in his life that thinks he's Master Somebody.

This mentality is a magnet for toxic relationships.

It is easy to fall into a pit in relationships of allowing the other person to define your selfworth. However, it takes being able to see your own value before you can really be a prized jewel to a relationship. BDSM is about complimenting each other..... submissive to Dominant..... masochist to sadist..... top to bottom..... slave to Master. However, it takes two people that are comfortable in their own skins, roles, skills, and selves to make a strong relationship that will continue to grow rather than get bogged down in the relentless wheel of insecurity and doubt.

Relationships are difficult enough, so why stay in a situation that is just making you spin your wheels. Part of you may see him as the center of your world. But you can always find another focus. If he did not value you enough to hold on to the relationship and train you the way he wished his submissive to be trained, then he still doesn't value you enough for you to surrender to his authority. He's already proven he is untrustworthy. How can you give him trust now?

MzKim

< Message edited by LadyKim -- 2/5/2006 4:21:40 PM >

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 10:09:25 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		I am not collared yet.....i have a Dom that i am talking too.



quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

just to update.....

have talked to the Dom in question and found out new information that makes the reason He had to let me go understandable....and as for taking me back He wishes he could but just cant.......He is honestly not as horrible as i made Him sound.....just hurt feelings fueled this post.


As of 5:56pm EST 02/05/2006, your profile says:

Hapilly owned and no longer searching for a second Dom. YEAY!!! the search has finally come to an end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are collared, why are you asking us if you should consider going back to Dom #1?

That definitely raises the "What's wrong with this picture?" hairs on the back of my neck.

YIK,
- Geoff


(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/5/2006 10:49:10 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I hope your new dom doesn't come reading this which says you're still ambivalent about your last relationship being over or not, and still talking to dom who dumped yah.

Good luck, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 6:30:54 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		So...are you 'owned' or not? I am confused...

(I'm easily confused, generally, but, v confused here...)


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 9:25:56 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I suspect she is about as "owned" as one can be online. She tells the new one he owns her, and is talking with the old one about getting back with him, now i will admit that I don't know any of these people from Adam, but my impression is that Dom#1 is not the only player in this particular game.
Good luck Sub03, in whatever it is that is actually going on, I am afraid none of this makes much sense and the more it is explained, the less sense it makes.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 12:31:16 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		I seriously regret even starting this thread.....but everyone wants the whole story then fine I will tell the whole story.

Arpig i dont do online so i really resent that remark, everything i do is in rt.

To explain my full situation.....i have a fiance that i have been with for two years. He is the one that brought me into this lifestyle. He collared me as His slave and i still am His but we fall back on the vanilla side 90 percent of the time which is fine, i still love him. But He also knows that i craved more BDSM in my life and that is when the Dom in question on this thread came in the picture. And before anyone says i was going behind anyone's backs the Dom knew about my fiance and my fiance knew about the Dom. So i served Him for 9 months until He let me go which is what fueled this post.

As for what it says in my profile I mean that i am still owned by my fiance and may have a second Dom to take the place of the one that let me go. But He does not own me yet, so i am not going behind anyone's back when i talk to my past Dom. And the one time i talked to Him again was just a friendly chat to clear the air so to speak.

As for the whole story behind that it isnt my bussiness to post on a thread. He woud definetly not like it if i put all His bussiness on here.

As for Him wanting to take me back.....He did send me an email asking but i told Him that i cant. And He cant anyway.....

But there is the whole story......feel free to post your reactions. I know there will be some good ones.

< Message edited by Sub03 -- 2/6/2006 12:35:31 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 12:39:19 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		you need to follow your heart and not listen to the mouths!
Your heart will tell and be true, trust it!

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 12:51:59 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03
I seriously regret even starting this thread.....but everyone wants the whole story then fine I will tell the whole story.


If there is one thing I have learned about this board, it is to NEVER open yourself or even show your inner self on here.

There are some that can't resist taking shots at you. There are some that are so jaded by past experiences, that they can't seem to get past the fact that is wasn't you that did bad things to them. There are some that think making you feel small, maked them look big.

That just is, what is it.

If you really need advice, pick someone you respect on here, and email them offline. You would be surprised at how helpful some people can, and are willing, to be.

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 5:00:07 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

But there is the whole story......feel free to post your reactions. I know there will be some good ones.

Ahhh! Thank you.

Good advice can only be given from a foundation of good information. Since you didn't explain originally that your situation was of a polyamorous/service nature, the information in your profile was highly puzzling to say the least.

Thank you for the clarification, the "what's wrong with this situation" concerns have been addressed. And my original advice stands though.... I would advise considering the time spent with the previous Dom as a learning experience, letting go and moving forward.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 5:50:23 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

But there is the whole story......feel free to post your reactions. I know there will be some good ones.

Ahhh! Thank you.

Good advice can only be given from a foundation of good information. Since you didn't explain originally that your situation was of a polyamorous/service nature, the information in your profile was highly puzzling to say the least.

Thank you for the clarification, the "what's wrong with this situation" concerns have been addressed. And my original advice stands though.... I would advise considering the time spent with the previous Dom as a learning experience, letting go and moving forward.

YIK,
- Geoff




i agree.......and that is what i am doing. It just took awhile to see everything clearly. And as you said you need the whole story, i needed the whole story from Him. But i have moved on and ithink i have found someone very good......so i am hoping.

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 2/6/2006 7:57:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

i needed the whole story from Him. But i have moved on and ithink i have found someone very good......so i am hoping.


You don't always need the whole story, it's not always possible to get the whole story. Sometimes bits and pieces are all you need to make a decision.
Moving on can be a good thing.
I wish you luck.



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 60
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