RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (Full Version)

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BoiJen -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 4:12:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
BoiJen,

You just about sent my tea all over my screen on that one.  Not only all the above, but endlessly humble, too!

:)


MsRumpus,

It is definitively my pleasure to brighten your day...and dampen your computer screen.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK



PeonForHer -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 5:24:32 PM)

FR

Maybe a subject for a different thread . . . . 

LookieNoNookie's comments prompted the following thought:

Strange, really, that this subject - of older dominant women and younger sub men - comes up so frequently, but that I've seen so little about the question of what age ranges sub males prefer in their dominant females.

Personally, I've realised that I don't actually know.  I did discover, very early on, that it wasn't the same as for vanilla relationships, for me.  I'd usually gone for women a little younger than me, before.  But with dominants - god knows.  Different rules, different psychological processes, at a fundamental level.  I still don't quite understand all that, yet.  I've seen and spoken to some in their fifties that I've found so horny.  But, likewise, I've felt that with a few who've been in their late twenties, too.

It's so vague and so subtle.  There's some kind of style, look, personality . . . that will press the buttons on me just the right way.  I wish, for my own purposes, that I could isolate and describe that 'magic' better - but they've all been so different. 

Still, given that there are 38.65 trillion sub males for every dominant female (or whatever the latest bloody figure is estimated to be) it's nice to know that my target age range, at least, is a lot wider than it was in my vanilla days.



Lockit -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 5:29:13 PM)

Peon?  You found some dominant women in their fifties that were horny? ROFL...

Edited to add... that was very beautiful to read... but that one part got me! lol



PeonForHer -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 6:12:38 PM)

Lockit, stop being so bloody cynical all the time.  Please. 



;-)



Lockit -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 6:15:20 PM)

LOL...



slvemike4u -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 6:33:02 PM)

The real question is,were they still horny after Peon left?



ShaktiSama -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 6:54:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I haven't seen anyone judge anyone who has a relationship with a younger person.. but I sure have seen name calling and judgment towards those that don't wish to have the same kind of relationship.  In this thread and others.



Oh goodness, poor poor you. Cue violins, shall we? You have said and continue to say horrible things about others without apology, but YOU are the victim! You claim you "cannot even begin to change society"--you do not accept that you are PART of society, and thus you bear a responsibility for being part of a problem rather than becoming part of a solution.

This has nothing to do with who you choose to collar or screw. The simple fact of the matter from my point of view is this: you and many others are WILLFULLY BLIND to the level of crude, insensitive, selfishly offensive statements that you spew in public. On this thread and ANY OTHER thread that brings up the issue of age.

Age-ism is a socially condoned and accepted form of cheap, shoddy, baseless discrimination in this community. ALL other generalizations of this sort about an entire group of people--whether it be women, switches, gays or lesbians, dominants or submissives of either sex--are roundly condemned. I cannot walk into a thread anywhere on these forums and "claim my life experience" to make shitty generalizations about people I've never met. I cannot say, "I've met at least a dozen dominant men who were real chuckleheads--ergo ALL DOMINANT MEN ARE CHUCKLEHEADS, or should be assumed to be chuckleheads until they file petitions in triplicate and serve an extended nine-year period of probation and possibly put on a dress for laughs." If I do, I will be recognized and condemned as a fool and a lunatic.

By contrast, the one group that people are allowed to attack without challenge is the young. You can call them stupid in about three dozen socially condoned and applauded ways. You can call them worthless any time, in any way you please. You can accuse them of being irresponsible, immoral, uneducated, lacking in every sort of personal ethics and depth of character. You can announce that they are incapable of commitment, service, submission, dominance--whatever you want. You can say that they are useless for any purpose other than disposable meat for quick, meaningless exploitation.

In short, they are the community's niggers, and you can nigger-ize them any way you see fit.

Believe me, there is nothing about your "preferences" or anyone's elses that I give a crap about, other than the way you choose to express them. What bothers me is that you have NO PROBLEM AT ALL justifying your "personal preferences" by basically declaring that anyone under a certain age is incapable of "love" or "loyalty" in any meaningful sense of the word, and that any relationship with such a person is doomed to a tragic end. How DARE you say such a thing and then claim that you are not casting judgment!

I'm sorry that you feel you have some kind of god-given right to say these things in public any time you wish and not to be challenged or contradicted. I'm sorry that when you offer deeply personal insults to certain members of this community, that people who care about them sometimes fail to shrug you off--and hey, maybe even actually get up off their asses and call bullshit on your bullshit.




AlexandraLynch -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 7:06:32 PM)

I am 37. It really depends on the person.

It helps that I am married to another dominant, and so have my primary relationship. But I so like having a submissive around just completing the triangle. It feels right. I want him serious and knowing what he wants. Sometimes people have that in their early twenties. Some people have to get considerably older to manage that, and some never really do.

And yes, gentlemen, I AM still open to petitions if you meet my base criteria.



Lockit -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 7:26:20 PM)

ShaktiSama, I can understand where you are coming from, but you do give me far more credit than I deserve.  I do not believe I cried victim.  I do believe that I stood up for something I believed in, just as you do.  Have I ever said something insensitive?  I am sure I have and sure that I will again, but I rarely do anything close to what you have claimed with all those 'you's' in your post.

As for society and what I have done to change things that needed change... you have no clue what I have done and how I have lived.  I was even focus of a few news paper articles with just one aspect of the work I have done to help people and society.  So give it a break.  I started out with my first cause before I was even eighteen years old and didn't stop until my health required that I did.  I still advocate when I can, but with what I have going on in life, my work in social change is limited.

I do believe in your cause... your stand and I would support you in it, but I do believe that when working for a cause, there may be a time and place for anger and ruthlessness, but it doesn't always get you where you want to be in successful change.  Be mad... mad is a great motivator, but temper that mad and direct it.  While you are in a beautiful relationship with a younger man, you may have more motivation to fight the injustice that we may blantantly overlook or even be unpolictically correct in out of habit or whatever, but few of us actually wish to cause harm to anyone of any age. I have to admit there is a lot of room for that change and your words are often a reminder to many I am sure.

I love younger people and have many who are great friends.  I simply do not wish to be in a romantic relationship with them and quite frankly, few would want to be with me at this end part of my life.



BohemianGoddess -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 7:30:32 PM)

 I am also attracted to people based on who they are not what age they are. Perhaps some of the Dommes you had contacted dreaded the thought of having to train someone so young, a total newbie in their minds. Or, it could have been as others have said that you are young enough to be their son and that could have bothered them. You will in time find what you are looking for I hope. To each his own as they say. Age is in the eye of the beholder as beauty is. I have recently acquired a slave who is 70 years young. He has searched his entire life for a sadistic Domme who knew more than how to slap his winkie with a crop and his ass with a cane. This slave's submission and dedication has brought tears to my eyes. He has the true heart, mind and soul of a slave and is tougher than any 20 year old I have ever sessioned with. We have a totally non sexual, sadistic-masochistic relationship. Never once did I think of orlandoslv as too old. Different strokes for different folks. 



MzMia -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 7:41:52 PM)

I want to learn more about how you spank his wankie with your crop.
[sm=writing.gif]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 8:56:12 PM)

Bohemian Goddess, the best submissive within a few hundred miles of me is 73 years old!  He and his wife are a wonderful team! 



UmbraDomina -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 8:59:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Bohemian Goddess, the best submissive within a few hundred miles of me is 73 years old!  He and his wife are a wonderful team! 


WRONG!!! he is about 40 miles from you, and he is 48 and he is sleeping on my bed about 40 feet away from me right now with a puppy curled up next to him.  :)



ShaktiSama -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 9:02:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

{{Huggles to Shakti and aiden}}


Kind words and well wishes are much appreciated, hon. [:)] Personally, I think I'm going to leave the thread on this note and let the subject go. Once again I have hollered, yelled, and climbed to the top of the Empire State Building with the boykin clutched in my paw: hurray for age threads!

Now y'all will have to excuse me; there's a banana boat in the harbor and I think I hear planes.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 9:04:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Bohemian Goddess, the best submissive within a few hundred miles of me is 73 years old!  He and his wife are a wonderful team! 


WRONG!!! he is about 40 miles from you, and he is 48 and he is sleeping on my bed about 40 feet away from me right now with a puppy curled up next to him.  :)


Well, he's pretty awesome, too!  [:D]  Hugs to you and ROOOOOOOO!



MzMia -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/6/2009 9:05:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

{{Huggles to Shakti and aiden}}


Kind words and well wishes are much appreciated, hon. [:)] Personally, I think I'm going to leave the thread on this note and let the subject go. Once again I have hollered, yelled, and climbed to the top of the Empire State Building with the boykin clutched in my paw: hurray for age threads!

Now y'all will have to excuse me; there's a banana boat in the harbor and I think I hear planes.


I enjoy your spirit !
For some reason, I can picture you on the Empire State Building clutching Aidan.
That is so damn cute!



BohemianGoddess -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/7/2009 7:09:03 AM)

 Thankyou Lady Hibiscus. I am glad that you agree and understand that it is not ones age that matters, but who that person is, their willingness to submit, to obey, their dedication to their Dominant and their heart.



Wickad -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/10/2009 12:45:34 AM)

Fast Reply

Bookmarking for later.

Wickad



HeavansKeeper -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/10/2009 3:37:57 AM)

I hesitated to toss my hat in, as after 7 pages this issue seemed quite resolved.

I wanted to give some human resource perspective. When not looking for anyone new, the expectations and demands are very high, and rightfully so. The firm must be wowed by an unexpected applicant for an invitation to be extended. When we have positions to fill, while not settling for the first schmuck who comes around, we are willing to take someone who is "acceptable" (adequate, mediocre, good enough, meh). As time goes by, if we cannot find someone, we become seduced into taking someone who is "better than an empty chair."

Dominants who are not looking for a/another submissive (can and/or should) have more strict requisites than their openly available counterparts. I'm not saying single dominants are easy or let their standards slip. I'm saying that when we (all humans) are picky, we increase our chance of excluding opportunities that could have been very bankable.

But as humans, we don't have enough time to seek out gems. Sometimes we have no choice but to process tonnes of ore. The likelyhood of finding a (single) Boijen or Subsubtle is lower in the 18-25 bracket than in the 38-45, at least many dominants believe. Culling the applicant pool always leaves casualties. (Side note, I'm convinced undergraduate universities manage acceptance based on the physical weight of the envelope containing the application.)

Demographics are a poor system to veto individuals. After all, it is Subsubtle's fault he didn't have the good sense to get conceived 20 years earlier? It's a defective system, but a fast one. By disqualifying all 18-25 year old males, the amount of potential mates who have used the word "MILF" is cut by.... 80%. That's powerful.

I don't blame people who use preordained designations to streamline the romance system. It comes at the cost of a few stellar examples who have more wisdom in their youth than many will have on their deathbeds.



SweetDommes -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/10/2009 8:01:15 AM)

Yeah, it cuts out some wonderful guys ... but it also eliminates a lot of guys who are totally and completely incompatable with us.  While it's not his fault that he wasn't born earlier, it's not our fault that he doesn't have the same life experiences that we have had - thus making us incompatable for a long term relationship ... and we aren't going to settle for anything less.  If someone here on the forums seems to have his head on straight at the age of 22 or so, then I'm perfectly willing to chat - but some random person messaging us on the other side who is outside of our stated age preference isn't going to get very far unless they specify that they are only wanting friends in the lifestyle. 



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