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AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 4:38:15 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Anyone want to take a stroll down Memory Lane with me?  The purpose of this thread is to get some of you to recall some of your most not-so-shining moments from a time past.  Remember when you first came into an acceptance of your dominant or submissive nature?  Remember how much you WANTED it?  Now, here's the sticky part....remember some of the things you did to get some experience that were less than proper, smart, or perfect?  Remember The Frenzy?  Remember the Titans...oh...nevermind that part...

Anywhooooo...the aim of this thread isn't to laugh at anyone or make anyone dredge up their shameful past to feel superior.  It's actually to help.  So often i see threads asking questions or sharing stories that show full-blown frenzy, and i think if we share our past frenzied experiences, someone may be able to recognize their own red flags in another's experience.  Maybe this could save someone from a seriously bad situation.  i'm a firm believer in the idea that "mistakes are learning experiences", but i also believe one can avoid a potential mishap by learning from the mistakes of others.

Thanks, in advance.



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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley
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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 5:03:01 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		I went out more times that I should of with a man I knew to be in a relationship. I knew he was, knew I couldn't be in a relationship with him, but he was so domly, and damnit, I wanted it!! I still felt awful after I called him on his lying and left. I knew at the time that I was sub frenzied, but, at that point, couldn't care less that I was making bad decisions. It only took a few meetings (public ones) for my brain to turn back on.

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testing
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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 5:12:42 PM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		It was my first collar to a Dom, a very nice man and we still get along great but he couldn't give me the time i need. It felt like i was doing all the work in the relationship and like i was having to constantly prove myself to him. I didn't realize it until afterwards but i started getting depressed but i was determined to make it work, to show that i wasn't in sub frenzy, that it wasn't a velcro collar and that i could make a relationship work dammit lol. One day a friend of mine finally got it into my head how badly i was spiraling and helped me talk to him about removing the collar and cooling things for a bit. He and i got along better without the collar as friends than we did as Master/sub.

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 5:17:21 PM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Ahh....I knocketh myself upside the head for this "pet" tattoo on the back of my neck.  I was so eager to show him my dedication, I did it then told Him about it.  Again, glad it wasn't his name on there, cause I still kinda like the tat.  Not the guy so much.

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Owned heart and soul, bound to MZ forever.

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 5:40:51 PM   
Vanityfull


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline 		this thread is long over due, very nice op

my first bdsm "relationship" was with an older girl in early highschool, i developed a bad crush on her and quickly she put me in a very submissive role, keeping the relationship relativly platonic in public and bdsm play in private, she had an older bf and i was a sexual outlet when they were fighting, as our relationship progressed i fell in love with her, she became very domineering at times and very sensual as i tried to step away in order to pull me back in, her social dominance kept me safe from the preditors often preying on ppl like myself at the time and so i found myself just acsepting the abuse given as better than being alone, after some long talks with my closest male freind and alot of crying i one day was able to simply walk away in what remains one of my proudest moments. for a long time i rejected woman altogether and bdsm as just abusive untill i went threw a long period of personal growth and dealing with my past.


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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 6:13:27 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		Thank God those days are behind me.  When I think of some of the dangerous and dumb ass things I did, I could smack myself....hmmm.   

The silliest thing I did while first learning about D/s was during an online relationship.  I had to spank my ass I dunno, 10 times for not doing something or saying Sir or whatever it was.  ***disclaimer*** I'm not knocking online relationships as I'm sure they work well for some.  Just speaking of my personal experience.

The things I did in real life were very dangerous and thankfully, I'm not physically or emotionally scarred. My Sir said He had to step in and rescue me because of all the stupid and potentially dangerous things I did.   I think He "rescued" me because I was only half-dressed when he arrived for our first date and He saw my partially exposed bewbage. 


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Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Dalai Lama





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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 6:22:37 PM   
DarkFury


Posts: 264
Joined: 4/1/2009
Status: offline 		I think my first and biggest screw up was accepting a collar from a Master and self deluding myself into believing I'd live happily ever after. That only last 2 months before I finally wised up, removed the collar and left!

_____________________________

Like a dagger you stick me in the heart and taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and dark embrace

Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

The Chosen Bear & RESIDENT MANWHORE

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 6:28:09 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Some of my frenzied highlights:

The married Dom that convinced me he would leave wifey and start a life with me.  i had the addes bonus of falling in love with this man, and sticking around for 4 years....

The online cybering that always ended up as phone sex domination(always from an unpublished number)and then the abrupt "hang-ups" when wifey or gf's car pulled into the drive. 

Allowing myself to be used as wank fodder for some stay-at-home Dads with far too much time(and eventually jizz) on their hands....

Actually allowing dudes that approached me with "hello little one" in a chat room IM me for sometimes weeks and finding out they were (you'll never see this one coming) a fakes and douchebags.

Feeling obligated to go down on any pathetic loser that called himself "Dom" after a date or two...


< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 4/5/2009 6:30:55 PM >

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 6:39:49 PM   
dove967


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		Ahhhhh.....the sweet madness!!!  I could be a walking poster child for what NOT to do and am damn lucky I am alive and well to talk about it!  When I stormed through my frenzy, it was right at the beginning of my divorce from my ex husband. I joined every group on the web I could find!  Through one of those groups I met a Dom from Scotland who went by the ID "Dusty".  Chats led to emails and to phone calls and finally we both decided we just HAD to meet each other in person.  He didn't have much money as he had been on a medical leave of absence from his job, so, I invested some of the money from my half of the equity of my house awarded to me in the divorce to fly him stateside.  I also paid for EVERYTHING!  Motel room, food, entertainment and of course we used my car to get around.  The first trip lasted about 2 weeks.  Then he had to go back to Scotland and I needed to finish my divorce,but, I kissed him goodbye wearing his collar and was happy.  After 3 weeks, we just HAD  to see each other so I paid for everything AGAIN!  It was during his second stay that some crucial things came to light and I told him I didn't think we were going to work out.  He went back to Scotland broken hearted.  I remained in Texas disappointed and $7000.00 poorer!  He promised he was going to start sending me money to pay me back when he got acess to his trust fund on his 35th birthday,but, as expected, I never heard from him again.  THANK GOD!!

dove

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 6:48:15 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		ahh memory lane...

my unsavory faux pas takes me back to an online chat room and a delightful experience with a multi-handled online dominant that specialized in gathering his flock. unbeknownst to the sheep of course. this wizard of trickery carefully crafted a convincing tale that he carried on for over a year. feeling emboldened he neatly arranged his possessions all in a row and even encouraged friendships amongst them all.

but alas, all good things must come to an end and his charade was eventually discovered. we would learn that this paragon of supposed respectability and all things domly was not a young strapping buck of early thirties, but an older gent in his late sixties instead. it was quite a shock to absorb but an important lesson learned for us all.

porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 7:14:23 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		"Remember the frenzy?" No, I do not. I personally never experienced it and when conversations come up about it, I am extremely skeptical. I usually find that it's an excuse for people to do extremely stupid, irresponsible things and blame it on some imaginary condition known as "sub frenzy." I'm not discounting anyone else's experiences but really......getting involved with a man you know is married and staying in that relationship for 4 years? That's to be blamed on a "frenzy?" Doesn't sound right to me. Sounds like a very bad, selfish decision that one consciously made. Calling it "frenzy" is really trying to justify poor behavior. That's what "sub frenzy" is to me...................luci



< Message edited by slaveluci -- 4/5/2009 7:15:12 PM >

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 7:18:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I do want to go down the road that shows my bad decisions because of needing some Dominating . I put myself  in some unsafe situations. I event went on Cam once.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/5/2009 7:19:18 PM >

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 7:42:29 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		*sigh* i suppose i can understand how you'd feel that way luci.  It shouldn't matter to anyone here, but since it does seem to be of some importance to you, i should point out that the married man was seperated when we met.  After we became involved, and my heart was his...he decided that it was too costly to divorce, and went back to his marriage.  i even spoke with his wife, who was fine with him having someone to serve certain needs she wasn't. She called ther relationship a "business partnership". 

As far as your opinions regarding frenzy...you're free to have them.  How fortunate for you, that you are above such poor behavior. And i mean that honestly.(in case my tone is somehow mistaken as it often is in this medium) However, for others, it is a real part of their development.  i don't propose in any way that my actions were wise ones.  That was my intention behind this thread.  i wanted to approach it from a non-judgemental standpoint, to encourage others to share, and hopefully prevent someone else from making unwise choices.  Hence, my statement that these things were

quote:

less than proper, smart, or perfect

 
As always luci, the best to you.
 

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 7:51:43 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

"Remember the frenzy?" No, I do not. I personally never experienced it and when conversations come up about it, I am extremely skeptical. I usually find that it's an excuse for people to do extremely stupid, irresponsible things and blame it on some imaginary condition known as "sub frenzy." I'm not discounting anyone else's experiences but really......getting involved with a man you know is married and staying in that relationship for 4 years? That's to be blamed on a "frenzy?" Doesn't sound right to me. Sounds like a very bad, selfish decision that one consciously made. Calling it "frenzy" is really trying to justify poor behavior. That's what "sub frenzy" is to me...................luci



I have to agree with Miss Luci here. Nicely stated.

AS for the rest of what was said in the op:
quote:

  Remember when you first came into an acceptance of your dominant or submissive nature? 

No. Not all of us are accepting of that part of our nature. In fact, some of us go out of way to keep it from ever re-occuring.
quote:

  Remember how much you WANTED it?

No. I never wanted it in the sense that you are speaking of. In fact, I went out of my way to fight it; and him, every step of the way for 15 years. The only thing that kept me with him was the absolute knowledge that he was good for me and that I needed him.
quote:

  remember some of the things you did to get some experience that were less than proper, smart, or perfect? 

I remember everything we ever did together; but it was not to get experience. It was only done because he decided it was going to be done and that was the end of it.
quote:

  Maybe this could save someone from a seriously bad situation

Sorry, but the only thing that could possibly save a person from a bad situation is employing their own common sense, by being and acting mature, and by accepting that their own actions will have consequences.

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:00:06 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I dated a rather pathetic, overweight, smelly individual.

Two of them, actually.... one's house smelled perpectually of cat urine, even though he didn't have a cat, and the other one told me he rented a basement apartment until I found out it was his mothers.

Yeeeesh. Didn't exactly want to go down *that* memory lane.

Now I have a hawt sexy one who currently smells like that Irish Spring soap, and I think I will go molestor him and tell him he smells nice.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 4/5/2009 8:01:04 PM >

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:02:30 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, i wish i had a seamless entry into the world of BDSM!
i realize some of us are luckier and were able to bypass the sort of "rookie" mistakes that many of us make.  To those people i say, you are blessed. Really. This thread is really about those of us who have been there...and even more about the ones who ARE there. 

i hope those of you that recognize some of the stories here as their own are encouraged, and continue to share, or learn.



_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:26:02 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Wow, i wish i had a seamless entry into the world of BDSM!

Perhaps you should go back and re-read what was written.
No where did I ever say that I had a 'painless' or seamless entry into the so called world of BDSM.
I simply pointed out that some of us accept responsiblity for the bad choices that we may have made; instead of blaming it on 'sub frenzy', we instead place the  blame where it belongs. On our own poor choices.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:38:13 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Never experienced "sub frenzy".

Yup I've made poor decisions in my life, dated some horrible men, did some stupid things but never blamed it on some perceived brain drain.

I blamed it on being human and making poor choices due to being young, naive and in a place in my life where I should have been in therapy instead of dating.

It had nothing to do with bdsm whatsoever. I made poor choices before bdsm. I still make poor choices sometimes. It's called living life and learning from your experiences.

But it's a cute term I guess lol

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:38:14 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Perhaps you should go back and re-read what was written

For whatever reason you took my post as personally aimed and directed at you in some malevolent way.  That wasn't my intention...

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: AHHHHH! The Frenzy - 4/5/2009 8:58:14 PM   
DarkFury


Posts: 264
Joined: 4/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Wow, i wish i had a seamless entry into the world of BDSM!

Perhaps you should go back and re-read what was written.
No where did I ever say that I had a 'painless' or seamless entry into the so called world of BDSM.
I simply pointed out that some of us accept responsiblity for the bad choices that we may have made; instead of blaming it on 'sub frenzy', we instead place the  blame where it belongs. On our own poor choices.


Frankly by all the replies from people who did go through a "sub frenzy" periods and made poor choices, have taken responsibility. That is quite clear when they are willing to admit this on this thread.


_____________________________

Like a dagger you stick me in the heart and taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and dark embrace

Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

The Chosen Bear & RESIDENT MANWHORE

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