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Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 10:40:41 AM

colouredin

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Now I dont know if this has been covered, but see while I was away there was a story that got my knickers in a twist so to speak and I kept thinking what a great post it would make on here. See Ms Smiths husband was watching porn on the expense account and rather than people ranting and raving over the crime I heard person after person who would break up with their partner (male) for watching porn. Seems really odd to me.

Firstly an argument seemed to be the degregadtion of women in the porn industry, ok but I know many women who are in porn movies because they want to be. If anything the obsession with calling it degrading could be considered a way to perpetaute the idea that it is rather than empower women.

Another reason was a break down of communication, really? Well see I masterbate a lot, I dont think it needs to be talked about, seems that its more an issue with porn. As if its dirty and sleazy well another way to disempower I think. Also I dont really get the idea that wanking means that people are not sexually satisfied, I think of masterbating as being something so different from sexual intimacy. But then maybe thats just me.

The fact that these women were throwing their hands up in utter outrage to me will prevent men from feeling they can be open about this kind of thing, I have recently been talking with a man who harbours so much shame its appaling really. I think that is something worth getting worked up over. What about you guys? Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 10:54:09 AM

Lashra

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No he can watch porn, I know that I do so I allow him to do so. I don't consider it "disempowering" or "degrading" to women. I mean they are WORKING of their own free will (hopefully). So I am sure they do not feel degraded by it so why should I believe that they are?

So no, I would not end my relationship over porn, unless it become consuming to him where he could not function, then he'd be off to the therapist.

~Lashra

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:01:21 AM

SteelofUtah

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Porn...... I watch it all the time. Andi used to not like it so much because she thought she wasn't good enough for me that I wanted those women instead. I said no I just like watching those women get fucked and guess what if it turns me on I'm gunan come and look for you to take care of the rising issue.

She no longer has a problem when I watch porn just hates when I do it after she goes to work because she doesn't want me to feel I HAVE to Masturbate but we have been discussing this and she is starting to understand that sometimes I WANT to Masturbate.

Porn .... Does a Body Good.

Steel

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:05:38 AM

sophia37

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Men are visual. They are wired differently than women. So they watch porn. And so? I don't understand why some women find "porn" degrading. I personally don't take it personally.

I do know, women are wired to want men to desire them and them only. So in a woman's mind, the man needs nothing but her. Porn is a rejection of her. But as I said, not all women think this way. I for one do not. It also might stem from the feminist movement way back when. There was a belief that porn was degrading. And some beliefs hang on for a while, if no one thinks thru the topic and asks WHY.

Really. Whats so degrading about young women having sex? If so, its about as degrading as a man having sex on camera is it not? It seems consensual top me. Whether or not the woman changes her mind and finds god years later or wishes she hadnt done it, at the time, there it is.

We're certainly never going to know by watching porn, if all the partys were well informed about the consequnces, whatever they may be, if any. The only thing we can do if if we are offended,.. dont watch! But try and understand its got nothing to do with you if someone else watches. Its sad to me when women want men to be more like women. The older I get the more I like men being men.

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:07:26 AM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?

I'm afraid to say it, but porn's not acceptable to me. Making porn together is one thing, but voyeuring it... nah. Gross: it would feel too much like betrayal.

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets :-) .

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:10:41 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Men are visual. They are wired differently than women. So they watch porn. And so? I don't understand why some women find "porn" degrading. I personally don't take it personally.

I clearly am abnormal then because I like porn too. I must be 'wired' like a man

quote:

I do know, women are wired to want men to desire them and them only.

Hmm again not true, being a poly person I am not wired to any such thing.

Sorry I am not trying to be rude here but the idea that we are that different has no real basis and is really counter what I am trying to say. I mean I find it so funny, recently a friend of mine decided to have a conversation with his partner and was totally floord by the fact that she masterbated while he wasnt around. Seems to me that these gender generalisations arent always true

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:11:42 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?

I'm afraid to say it, but porn's not acceptable to me. Making porn together is one thing, but voyeuring it... nah. Gross: it would feel too much like betrayal.

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets :-) .

Ok then KS, what about it is a betrayal? (Not judging simply curious about the terminology, and hiya hope you are well)

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Post #: 7

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:12:56 AM

kittinSol

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It's been proven time and time again that women are just as visual as men and that this false gender dichotomy has been perpetuated for some reason or other - lots of women love to watch. This website alone is full of chicks who love porn, proof alone that this visual thang has ZILCH to do with gender.

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Post #: 8

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:14:06 AM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Ok then KS, what about it is a betrayal? (Not judging simply curious about the terminology, and hiya hope you are well)

I'm super possessive. The cum should be all mine: I hate wasted seed

(perhaps I'm more biblical than I like to think).

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:14:30 AM

xBullx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets :-) .

Seems like you have that covered pretty well yourself. I would have never expected you to feel that you were subject to classification under all 5 of those seperatre areas, but hey a woman is little more than what her man creates.

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Post #: 10

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:14:48 AM

subtlebutterfly

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If my partner needs to get off "using" somebody/something else than me...then heck..no ty...sooooooo no to porn when in relationship with me

unless we both watch it but gawd porn's boring so..!

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Post #: 11

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:14:54 AM

Vendaval

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Fast Reply - So long as the porn is part of an active sex life and not a replacement for one's partner(s) it is fine by me.

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:16:46 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Ok then KS, what about it is a betrayal? (Not judging simply curious about the terminology, and hiya hope you are well)

I'm super possessive. The cum should be all mine: I hate wasted seed (perhaps I'm more biblical than I like to think).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8

So then its not just porn its masterbating too?

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Post #: 13

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:18:08 AM

UncleNasty

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I live in the country, but also close to an interstate. there is an exit/entry ramp within 3 miles of my home. As luck would have it there is an "adult store" at this exit. Also 2 large truck stops so that is a good protion of his business. Same fellow owns a store in Louisville and he sells some BDSM gear and accessories.

Shortly after he opened locals came along and started to picket in an effort to shut him down. One of the banners they had up one day said "Pornography Kills." I saw it on my way in to pick up a tube of lube. The owner was behind the counter that day, and I looked at him and said, "Did you see the banner they have up today?" He said "No. What does it say?" I told him, "Pornography Kills." Without missing a conversational beat he said "Pfffttt. I've been in this business 30 years and it never even made me sick."

I rolled on that one.

Uncle Nasty

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Post #: 14

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:20:48 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?

in this slave's current relationship...no.

for other folks with different relationship dynamics and personal preferences...yes.

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Post #: 15

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:21:10 AM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets :-) .

Seems like you have that covered pretty well yourself. I would have never expected you to feel that you were subject to classification under all 5 of those seperatre areas, but hey a woman is little more than what her man creates.

These kinds of things have been said to me before around here because of this very subject - looks like our crowd isn't always that tolerant, surprise, surprise... I was just anticipating the general crowd's reaction, Bull.
Another thing for me, colouredin, is that I think porn is intrinsically ugly, and this goes radically against my strong beliefs in the morals of aesthetics - I'm just not interested in a person who's attracted to stuff that I find repugnant, if this makes any sense.

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:23:30 AM

xBullx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I'm super possessive. The cum should be all mine: I hate wasted seed (perhaps I'm more biblical than I like to think).

You know that has nothing to do with the bible. Superficial societal indoctrination perhaps; but most likely it stems from feelings spawned by prior relationships that seemingly validated these societal stereotypes that initiate selfishness inspired by insecurity. Or you just don't trust your masters heart as it is pertaining to your hoped for value.

The comment about being possessive is what lead me down this path, nothing more. It's simply a hypothesis based on life experiences. Don't worry though, nature programmed you to be this way and there's a good chance your hearts keeper likes you being this way; it helps fend off his insecurities over a gorgeous little slut like you.

By the way, I was delving a tad bit deeper than just a simple disdain for that ugly porn. Actually the only porn I am interested in is that Training of O stuff...Ideas, ideas....ideas!

< Message edited by xBullx -- 4/6/2009 11:26:42 AM >

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Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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Post #: 17

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:23:55 AM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Fast Reply - So long as the porn is part of an active sex life and not a replacement for one's partner(s) it is fine by me.

Interestingly I was reading an article on the BBC's website today that was trying to demonstrate that porn watch that occurs during business trips is a way to make up for the absence of one's partner. It makes sense, and so does what you wrote above.

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:24:12 AM

colouredin

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Yeah and then we can wander into questions of what is the difference between porn and art lines quite thin, I think really the biggest difference is the motivation. I find parts of Nine Songs beautiful, the camera angles and music in the kitchen scene are stylistically fantastic, but I still get off on it. It wasnt made as porn though so it is sllightly different evn though I use it a porny way.

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Post #: 19

RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:25:56 AM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I'm super possessive. The cum should be all mine: I hate wasted seed (perhaps I'm more biblical than I like to think).

You know that has nothing to do with the bible. Superficial societal indoctrination perhaps; but most likely it stems from feelings spawned by prior relationships that seemingly validated these societal stereotypes that initiate selfishness inspired by insecurity. Or you just don't trust your masters heart as it is pertaining to your hoped for value.

The comment about being possessive is what lead me down this path, nothing more. It's simply a hypothesis based on life experiences. Don't worry though, nature programmed you to be this way and there's a good chance your hearts keeper likes you being this way; it helps fend off his insecurities over a gorgeous little slut like you.

Maybe you're correct, Bull. It's happened to you before

, except that my heart has no master - that's as alien a concept to me as worshipping a wooden torture instrument.

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Post #: 20

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