RE: Unruely slave

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badlilthang -> RE: Unruely slave (4/13/2009 10:21:14 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: badlilthang quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDarkSadist She's no slave girl, or you aren't making the point that she is subservient to you and that she is expected to follow your commands. For me, this would be a "do or get the hell out" situation. I always try to correct the problem, but if the problem doesn't get resolved, I have a serious talk that usually goes something like this: "I expect you to behave in a manner that is respectul, dutiful, and brings honor to this house. You are not currently doing that, and as such you have 2 options. Shape up, or get out." amazing... If you disagree, why not articulate why. Instead of posting a vague and erronious remark that has no meaning what-so-ever except to convey your disagreement. *You are absolutely right, Sir - my apologies...You said "I have a serious talk that usually goes something like this: "I expect you to behave in a manner that is respectul, dutiful, and brings honor to this house. You are not currently doing that, and as such you have 2 options. Shape up, or get out." - and i was thinking the following: You expect her to behave a certain way, and it is either that or leave. My question is - do you teach her how to behave - or is she supposed to find out by herself and be "set up"? It is simple. She is not following commands, which means that she does not respect him, and their power dynamic is broken. the OP's girl may have a serious problem with catalogueing cd's....something that is easy and not even something they need to think about - can be an obsticle that is impossible to overcome for someone else. i have a close friend who is dyslexic, for instance - smartest guy in almost every other way - photographic memory when it comes to motors and engines and such....but if i commanded him to catalogue my cd's - i would be setting him up in a bad way. i KNOW this - but not everyone has an easy time admitting to their weak sides...and if a person fails miserably i one thing several times - i think my reaction would be - why can't she do this - how can i teach her how - is there another way to do it so it will be possible for her to do this.... I am not going to live a vanilla life, so therefore if my power dynamic is broken, and I cannot resolve it, then we split ways. Sure, I said it in stronger terms, but that's basically what should happen here. Either she gets the point that I won't tolerate it, and changes. Or I don't tolerate it, and we split ways. Hell, I was even kind enough to give a warning. (this is assuming, of course, that there aren't any particularly valid reasons for the trouble in the first place. There is a girl who I am talking to that just had surgery. I would not expect her to be able to serve in any capacity at the moment, and I have actually confined her to her bed, except for food, bodily functions, and proper hygiene). *You have worded this differently now - smiles - so i can see where You are going with this.but if Your "power dynamic" is broken, as You said...why should it always rest on the submissives shoulder? The responsibility for teaching should be just as important - as the learning...S...i pick things up easily - i learn fast - but if a Dom gave me a screwdriver and told me to go work on a car engine...i would be doomed...i have NO technical skills whatsoever...and without any teaching - and if this was one of His demands - our ways would part. You probably think I am a pompous ass who cares not for my girl. You are wrong, on so many levels that I cannot begin to even start to think about wanting to express them. The simple fact is this. Either she obeys or not. If not, then HE is responsible for correcting that, and if he cannot, then he has to accept a vanilla relationship (which is probably what she wants), or move on. I don't do vanilla, so I would be moving on. nope...not thinking that at all - smiles - i simply think that each and everyone of us has to do what it takes to be happy and live in harmony. If the Dom repeatedly asks His girl to do something she is incapable of - knowing the reason why - He has failed. Then is He really mastering Himself? Like AnnaofAramis so beautifully put it - said above: "Be her Master, be her guide, be her teacher, take her by the hand and lead her to be better and to be where and what you want her to be." FURTHERMORE* Can we please stop taking a post regarding a personal situation (such as how I would deal with my personal situation), and applying it to your own, or every possible situation in the universe. The point of posting your opinion, is that it is valid about your situation. Your situation might be close to someone else's, and might assist them. If it DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, then disregard and move on. You don't have to make a point just to demolish mine, just because it does not fit your unique situation. For example; The lady with right side weakness, yes, it would be incredibly stupid for me to order you to beat an egg with your right hand and stand on your right leg, and then when you could not accomplish this task, to disown you. That would be a moronic act. However, you applied my GENERAL statement to your own very specialized situation with the intent of showing that my entire point was grievously incorrect. Sorry my dear, while I feel for you and wish you the best of luck, I cannot, with enough words, go through the entire book of diseases and make a case by case analysis of what I would do to overcome each and every condition that is in there. And, I thank you for inspiring me to post an entirely new thread on just this topic.

novak -> RE: Unruely slave (4/14/2009 4:57:26 AM)
uesd the bastinado on her

CarinaKitty -> RE: Unruely slave (4/17/2009 12:03:55 AM)
Ok, I know I'm a slave, but I'm gonna throw my imput in anyway. I often do this to my Master. (yes, I know, it's a terrible thing) But, nonetheless, I do. It's ussually because I don't feel He's being dominant enough, and I'm testing Him, trying to make Him punish me. It's not that I want to be punished, it's that I want to know He will, and it's not just threats. lately, even though He's trying to get back into the dominant role, I've been doing it so often, that I'm having a hard time getting back into my submissive role. Perhaps punishment is what she craves. Not nessissarily that she would admit it to you, but that doesn't mean it's not the case. Just a thought.

Bstardsbitch -> RE: Unruely slave (4/17/2009 1:43:46 AM)
I'll never understand why someone would "crave" punishment. To want and maybe need to be "beaten", I can get that lol but punishment?, would seem to me there are other issues going on somewhere. x

Interesdom -> RE: Unruely slave (4/17/2009 7:45:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch I'll never understand why someone would "crave" punishment. To want and maybe need to be "beaten", I can get that lol but punishment?, would seem to me there are other issues going on somewhere. Yes, indeed, there are other issues, as Carina said of herself, it's not really about wanting the punishment but about needing to be convinced that she is under domination. For most subs, it is not enough just to serve someone, they want to feel that they are dominated. One of the clearest signs of confident domination is punishment in a form that the sub knows the dominant knows the sub will not like. After a time of distraction, where the sub may feel (note: not necessarily a matter of logic but a matter of emotion) that she is not dominated, at least one instance of clear dominance is often needed. Just issuing orders at this point might very well not be enough and can even be resented. Punishing in a way that the sub thinks the dom will enjoy is often not enough, either: it usually requires an element of risk and dislike on both sides, so that the sub is clearly reminded that the dom will do whatever is necessary to keep her in submission.

CarinaKitty -> RE: Unruely slave (10/8/2009 2:50:28 AM)
Very true. recently, Master commented on how He doesn't feel comfortable punishing me anymore, and I ended up having to admit to Him that, at this point, I will, and that no matter what, He will need to still do it. (I hope I can stay out of trouble now :p )

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Unruely slave (10/8/2009 1:54:02 PM)
Easy enough... if she values the collar that much, just take it away and tell her she'll get it back ONLY after you're convinced she's learned to be obedient. No time table... just when YOU think it's time. And to each his/her own... but we don't do "play" punishment, as REAL punishment tends to get the best results.

Musicmystery -> RE: Unruely slave (10/8/2009 8:50:33 PM)
She's flying you, falconer. In a very real sense, we teach people how to treat us. You've taught her you're fine with whatever she wants.

spookyfe -> RE: Unruely slave (10/8/2009 10:54:30 PM)
i occasionally do it to.but usually i realise after its becaéuse i was wanting to feel a deepening of his dominance or a confirmation of it, ie if ive had a few problems and needed him to be stricter. does she feel like shes disapointed when she ahsnt obayed? even when i have i always feel the shame and disapoointment in mysefl

Acer49 -> RE: Unruely slave (10/9/2009 12:40:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheDude77 I've got a rather serious problem with my slave girl. When I tell her to do something, but it's not a "right now" situation, she almost never does what she is told. Example: I recently told her to label a bunch of CDs I'd burned and it took 2 months of reminders and being punished to finally get it done. And our living room went almost 6 weeks without getting vacumed at one point. I've tried punishing her (we don't use "corporal punishment" for punishment, only play). We've had several serious conversations regarding whether this was really what she wanted or not. She swears up down and sideways that being my slave is what she wants. Recently when I threatened to take away her collar she begged me crying on her knees not to. But in the end she still doesn't do the things I tell her to do. Her primary excuse is that she doesn't remember my instructions, or that she misunderstood me. And for quite a while we worked to address the problem from that point of view. But more than once recently we've had situations were we discussed my instructions in detail so I know she understood them. Then I gave her several reminders, and she still doesn't do as she is told. I believe she just don't consider what I'm telling her to do important. In many ways she is a wonderful girl. Every morning when I get out of bed I know I'll have a fresh cup of coffee made just the way I want waiting for me. And she is very caring and loving. But in the end if I can't count on her to do what I tell her to, then I'm not interested in keeping her as a slave. I am afraid she may feel you are seriously lacking in the "Master" dept. 2 months to make some CD's and 6 weeks to vaccumm the living room? Did it ever occur to you that she was testing you? The lame excuse of, she forgot or did not understand, not buying that one, responsible adults do neither. If they have a problem remebering they find a way to remedy the situation and if they do not understand they open their mouths and ask for a clarification. I have to say this relationship will end up being full of disappointment and frustration

CalifChick -> RE: Unruely slave (10/9/2009 8:31:34 AM)
Okay, so this started 6 months ago... someone give me the Cliffs Notes version so I don't have to re-read the whole thing... did the CD's get made/cataloged/whatever and did the living room get vacuumed??? Cali

shanaya -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 3:34:46 AM)
i find that the beauty of submission lies in the submissive benig "inspired" to please. my ex Dominant is a good, caring, kind and yes strict Dominant, but not once did he need to use a cane, or even a spanking. He didn't like that side of Ds, i have an enormous amount of Respect for him that i still feel towards him to this day. Last week after a heated discussion where there was a few days off self reflection, i realised there were times i was disobedient. To say this has disturbed me is an understatement, the sadness and dissapointment i feel in myself is enormous, if it hadn't been for that said converstation we had and a few other things that made it drop in place, i would have not of realised that at times i behaved badly while under his care. So maybe she doesn't realise the full impact of her decisions. i also don't believe caning a submissive to be the most conducive way to inspire her to please. i chose to submit because i loved and Admired my Dominant, to see him displeased by my actions cut like a knife, and he would forgive me long before i forgave myself. Even to this day a look of dissaproval has me shrinking with embarrasement and the greatest need to replace that look with one of pleasure ... But as they say " different strokes for different folks "

ringmaster09 -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:09:17 AM)
Have you tried to understand why she is doing this? I'll suggest few probable causes. See what fits in....You are saying that she is very caring and loving but does not do what you want her to do despite reminders.. so this might be the case of voluntary omission. Some slaves do this to attract punishment since she would otherwise recieve punishment only when you want to give one . Other case might be that she is trying to dictate instead of you and reminding you of this with her actions. It may also be the case that she wants to be a slave yet is not ready to be one.... May subs have problems like that. It requires lot of time, patience, love and care to transform such slaves.But whatever the case may be, you probabely have to discuss the issue and then decide what to do...

SubOnlyForHim -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:47:21 PM)
edited to remove the quote...so i hit quote instead of reply. i AM only human :) amazed people really have time for such micro management? i can live with a general "take care of me like it's your job cause it IS". it's hard to deal with the "Hush" end when Sir wishes for my silence, but it's Sir's wishes that matter. And i've a little trouble sometimes with Time issues, but as far as the things i do for Sir, it's likely me pushing Sir for "may this one do it now?" rather than Sir saying "haven't you done that YET?" hmmmmmmmmmmm

mnottertail -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:53:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarinaKitty Very true. recently, Master commented on how He doesn't feel comfortable punishing me anymore, and I ended up having to admit to Him that, at this point, I will, and that no matter what, He will need to still do it. (I hope I can stay out of trouble now :p ) LOOK, wouldn't life be so much more angelic, if you could be the best girl in the world, and if you need a fuckin' beating just beg for it? Most men would go to town for that scenario. Ron

SubOnlyForHim -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:55:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: CarinaKitty Very true. recently, Master commented on how He doesn't feel comfortable punishing me anymore, and I ended up having to admit to Him that, at this point, I will, and that no matter what, He will need to still do it. (I hope I can stay out of trouble now :p ) LOOK, wouldn't life be so much more angelic, if you could be the best girl in the world, and if you need a fuckin' beating just beg for it? Most men would go to town for that scenario. Ron this one has begged for beatings and Sir will not do it. He's so mean sometimes!

mnottertail -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:56:02 PM)
have you been a very very good girl? Answer honestly, now. Ron

SubOnlyForHim -> RE: Unruely slave (10/12/2009 4:57:23 PM)
Define "good"? LOL

Huntertn -> RE: Unruely slave (10/13/2009 6:33:08 PM)
How old is this girl again? going thu the terrible 3's again maybe? MY grandfather used to say "if I have to ask twice I'm going to get the belt on the third!!!" And in the Navy, the chief would have you cleaning shitcans for a month, no excuses. Face it, its not going to change, and either except it, or do what your thinking about!

CaringandReal -> RE: Unruely slave (10/13/2009 7:00:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Okay, so this started 6 months ago... someone give me the Cliffs Notes version so I don't have to re-read the whole thing... did the CD's get made/cataloged/whatever and did the living room get vacuumed??? Cali This thread started 6 months ago?? Then why in the world are we giving him advice six long months later? You are right, surely this must be a dead issue. (looks around for the joker who popped this one out of thread oblivion. grr!)

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