RE: No Strings Housework?

RE: No Strings Housework? (Full Version)

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LadyIce -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/14/2009 7:20:04 PM)
If someone I don't know well offers Me, no strings housework, I have many things to consider. First of all, do I want this person to know where I live? Second, do I want this person in my home? Third, do I want this person around my personal posessions and to see what I have in my home? I might be offered no strings housework, but it would not be worth it to me, to bring a stranger into my life. I am open to no strings housework, after you have taken the time to get to know me well in advance, and then only IF I trust you to be in my personal space.

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/14/2009 9:32:29 PM)
I've served in somewhat of a no strings capacity before, I would help a Domme with things around the house and yard, without any real expectation of a reward. I just liked her and liked serving her in that capacity. One the second day i helped her she made me a tuna sandwich and had me eat it on my knees without hands, which was nice. She had me give her foot massages every so often as well. I'm not a foot fetishist, so it's not like there was nothing else I'd rather do, but i still enjoyed the act of being at her feet and making her happy. She turned out to be a pretty good friend, but unfortunately our schedules don't mesh, and she lives a tad far away now. To recap: yes we exist, yes we do good work and take pride in it, just because it's no strings doesn't mean we don't get anything out of it, you'd be amazed what constitutes a reward in some submissive's mind.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/15/2009 6:47:06 AM)
quote: What's wrong with a dominant sending a message and saying, "what do you mean by no strings housework?" We hear criticisms all the time about submissives who go into relationships hoping to achieve something more than what is on the surface and then point the finger at the submissive for not clarifying the information. How hard is it to clarify this if someone is that interested in the statement? Interestingly enough, that's usually how I handle this issue... I ask a couple of questions and see what the scoop is... But I must admit that, among other things that are fetishes of mine, I am a ritual semanticist -- I have a fetish for having the proper words used to describe one's interactions with the world and with me... so yes, if someone approached me, I'd ask the question -- but once they answered, they'd have to be pretty comfortable with re-shaping the wording they used to describe our interaction if they ended up with me. Just as an aside, it's nice to see you again, littlesarbonn -- it's been a while since I've had the chance to interact in the forums with you.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/15/2009 6:52:15 AM)
quote: If someone I don't know well offers Me, no strings housework, I have many things to consider. First of all, do I want this person to know where I live? Second, do I want this person in my home? Third, do I want this person around my personal posessions and to see what I have in my home? I might be offered no strings housework, but it would not be worth it to me, to bring a stranger into my life. I am open to no strings housework, after you have taken the time to get to know me well in advance, and then only IF I trust you to be in my personal space. I guess that I don't understand this so much, since I've hired maid services to come into my home. I might ask that a person planning on coming into our home be bonded, and certainly I would interview him/her, since that is a service that the maid services are supposed to handle that wouldn't be taken care of in this case, but in truth, most of the maid services in our area hire indiscriminately, and I never see who comes in to clean, nor do I know a single one of them by name, so it seems like overkill to become paranoid about bringing in a lifestyle housekeeper under similar terms.

Andalusite -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/15/2009 8:07:33 AM)
A random housekeeper (especially female) who doesn't know you isn't likely to stalk you, throw herself at you (physically or verbally), or out you (unless you deliberately leave items accessible that make it obvious you are kinky. That's a much higher risk with a man who is doing it for sexual and/or D/s reasons, even if he agrees not to have sex with you.

MissEnchanted -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/16/2009 1:04:36 AM)
to littlesarbonn, you took the words right out of my mouth. [:D] Communicate, ask. It works. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have experienced 'no strings housework.' It is real for a sub who loves the service to a Domme to show up, do a good job and have attention, share space, and nothing more. Ironically, this inspires me. I respect, appreciate and understand it and them. Me

LadyPact -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/16/2009 1:43:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: If someone I don't know well offers Me, no strings housework, I have many things to consider. First of all, do I want this person to know where I live? Second, do I want this person in my home? Third, do I want this person around my personal posessions and to see what I have in my home? I might be offered no strings housework, but it would not be worth it to me, to bring a stranger into my life. I am open to no strings housework, after you have taken the time to get to know me well in advance, and then only IF I trust you to be in my personal space. I guess that I don't understand this so much, since I've hired maid services to come into my home. I might ask that a person planning on coming into our home be bonded, and certainly I would interview him/her, since that is a service that the maid services are supposed to handle that wouldn't be taken care of in this case, but in truth, most of the maid services in our area hire indiscriminately, and I never see who comes in to clean, nor do I know a single one of them by name, so it seems like overkill to become paranoid about bringing in a lifestyle housekeeper under similar terms. Still different in My eyes, Calla. If you hire the maid and something turns up missing in your house, you have a recourse. You may not know their name, but the agency that sent them does, as well as their address, social security number, etc.

MistressRouge -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/16/2009 1:58:27 AM)
Yes, they do exist [:)] I have a lifetstyle domestic slave, no strings, no fees. I set him domestic/menial task duties list, he comes cleans the leaves. I decided to collar him after a 2 week consideration, gosh I need him lol.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/16/2009 2:12:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u Okay I need a clarification here......if a sub comes over on a Tuesday....and cleans,or mows Your lawn.... bids You a fond farewell...and goes home.Is this no-frills housework... Yes, exactly! quote: lets tweak this example a little...this same slave knows that on Saturday he will meet you at the local dungeon and You will commit acts upon his body not allowed by the Geneva convention....was Tuesday's labors still no string.There is no quid pro quo....buttttt How does he know this? What if she doesn't do this for several weeks? Does she indeed continue to get the service? She may be testing the slave's motivation... Is he serving for its own sake, or is he trying to manipulate her into topping him? Nothing wrong with manipulation if she would enjoy topping him... M

undergroundsea -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/19/2009 1:06:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama I think the main issue here is that the semantics of the offer are the stumbling block. Entering into a "domestic service" relationship with a man would involve a very different and much higher threshold of agreement from me than what a man would face when offering to do something useful and helpful like housework on a "no strings" basis. If a man offers me domestic service, rather than "no strings housework", then he has to pass all the barriers that any other submissive does in order to enter my service. An honest service relationship with a submissive would automatically involve some mutual caring and concern. But by definition that's a relationship--not a random kink exchange with a stranger. There's no limit to the level of reciprocation that friends and partners can expect from me, but this doed not necessarily extend to people who want an "instant win" access to my dominance. I think this discussion is showing that indeed sometimes the matter is simply one of semantics. For instance, I do not see a significant difference between no-strings service and domestic service. I see domestic service as one type of BDSM activity. I see no-strings service as a BDSM relationship that involves only one activity: domestic service. I began to use domestic service versus no-strings service to avoid the diffusion of focus caused by the literal interpretation of no-strings service, and to allow that a sub could expect that that motivates service (a mindset of servitude, etc). We may or may not have difference in perspective about the barrier of entry for domestic service. I think compatibility required depends on the scope of the relationship. A domestic service relationship does not require the type of compatibility one might seek for a broader relationship. However, I think there is some threshhold of entry which is subjectively defined. I have had relationships or encounters based on domestic service only and saw them to have potential to be win-win versus instant win. I can see how a sub who does not offer mutual concern is focused only on feeding his kink could be seeking instant-win access to domination. In my opinion, to expect service without regard to why the sub wishes to engage in service could be (in some situations this lack of regard might be fulfilling for one's masochism) to seek instant-win access to submission. I think the mutual concern you reference has the best odds of such a relationship being mutually fulfilling. Thank you for your comments. Cheers, Sea

Andalusite -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/19/2009 1:41:13 PM)
No-strings housework may not be the best term for it, but I think it is the only direct "housework" option that CM lists. I actually have had one man express an interest in a completely non-creepy way, and since he is someone who is at least local/age compatible/etc., I figure there's no harm in exploring possibilities with them. When we were discussing what I'd been doing last weekend, I mentioned in addition to a bunch of "fun stuff" that I'd also done some mundane things, like dishes and laundry. He basically said that he wished he could take care of that for me, since he likes to feel that he is making a woman's life easier, and that he isn't aroused by doing housework. He didn't ask to dress up, or work in the nude, and made it pretty clear that he wouldn't expect me to stand over him criticising every mood or thwacking him while he was doing it. I don't know if I'll take him up on it, probably not if that is our only connection. I made it clear that while I can give orders to someone easily, that I don't truly consider it to be D/s unless I have more of an emotional connection. Most of the other submissives who have contacted me for "no strings housework" have seemed to be primarily focused on it as a kink. In any case, I would need to get to know and trust someone before I'd want him in my home.

DemonKia -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/19/2009 2:19:11 PM)
Great thread, Lockit, & a lot of great discussion . .. . I have a kinda tangential thought about this: From reading profiles fairly widely it's clear that there's a lot of confusion about using the interest list terms, with 'Housework' being one of the most confused, it seems. (Above & beyond the 'NSA Housework' issue discussed so well on this thread.) & the lack of clarity stems from the need for a 'Gives' / 'Receives' option -- which in my not so humble would be far more useful than the 'Beginner' / 'Expert' options . . . . . (Partly because the Give / Receive idea seems rather more 'fact based' to my mind, whereas Beginner / Expert seems much more opinion-y . . . . & yes, I'm currently having serious attitude problems around the very notion of Beginner v Expert, so I'm sure I'm having some emotion leakage around that . . . . [;)]) I see a ton of dominant profiles where they've marked 'Housework' & / or 'NSA Housework' as a 'Dislike', 'Hate', or 'Hard Limit' & I think what they really mean is that they don't want to 'Give' 'Housework', but when I see it displayed in that way I wonder if they'd want to 'Receive' 'Housework' . . . . . Yes, it should be kinda implicit from the D/s orientation indicated, but I don't think it is immediately obvious how to use these various CM features to effectively meet one's needs . ... . Or we wouldn't see so many threads about the subject . . . .. I know personally that my (inactive) bottom profile is different from my top profile in exactly this kinda way: as a top I'm all about receiving housework (so I have it listed as a 'Likes' there), but in bottom mode I'm all about disliking housework . . . . . (& just generally ignoring entire the very idea of NSA housework -- I'm mostly interested in the strings attached versions of life, lol) . . . .

treehousedoor -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/19/2009 3:04:19 PM)
I did this for a lady once or twice a month for two years. She was not in the life style but did use sexual tention to keep me motivated. I did bathrooms and kitchen most of the time but also some repairs and yard work too. I got a system down pretty good and never was rewarded except self satisafaction. I did not jerk off in her house but on the way home many times.

leatherpet32 -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/21/2009 11:12:31 PM)
Miss Lynnxz? Your post made my Iced tea shoot from my nose and ended up making my keyboard sticky! Naughty Domme for making a funny!! grr [8D]

Hammerlove -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/22/2009 6:36:44 AM)
As a single man I had to be very domestic. I am very proficient in it and find it relatively easy. I was asked by a Mistress in New Jersey if I would do the no string housework. I agreed. Every Saturday morning I would be at her home and start cleaning the place. I would do the dishes, the laundry and prepare meals for her and freeze them for the week. It took me 6 hours. I asked for nothing in return. She was beautiful to me! Just to be around her made me feel great. She offered me her feet to worship before I left for the week. This is not fictional but fact. She has a profile here and will know I wrote this.

MissBeautiful2U -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/22/2009 11:54:09 AM)
My impression is that most subs who list 'no strings housework' truly want some interaction of some sort or another, I've been talking with a boy who says he would find pleasure in just serving and cleaning and doing what he was told.... yet he also seeks a relationship and yada yada so it truly isn't "no strings" I think that most who put that are really saying that for their Dominant whether it is a ltr or a casual thing, they would be willing to be used in a service capacity along with whatever else. Just my thoughts though.

Steponme73 -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/22/2009 1:17:37 PM)
I might be willing to come and clean, etc...but if they want me, they get me with clothes on. I don't take them off for just anyone. Besides, being naked cleaning a house sides kind of stupid to me. What if you had to go outside to put the trash out? What would the neighbors think? Or do you not care? To me "no strings" means there is no obligation on anyone's part. Hence, "No Strings".

Lockit -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/22/2009 2:26:50 PM)
<<< dangles a nice manly man apron on her finger... Will even give ya the come on look and a wiggly bent finger... Okay after taking fifteen bushes and plants outside (ouch!) and watering without a hose... I am about ready for some help! lol I still have the digging n' planting and weeding and grass seedin and I am no where close to laying the brick or rock I have yet to shop for... after the grass is dug up... And I couldn't wait for warmer weather! What the hell was I thinkin buying a place with a yard and not sticking with air plants??? You can be sure... I am lookin at you studly boy's who like to help and am singin... wishin and hopin... Sorry, it's the only two words I can formulate, I'm so tired!

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/22/2009 8:57:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit <<< dangles a nice manly man apron on her finger... Will even give ya the come on look and a wiggly bent finger... Okay after taking fifteen bushes and plants outside (ouch!) and watering without a hose... I am about ready for some help! lol I still have the digging n' planting and weeding and grass seedin and I am no where close to laying the brick or rock I have yet to shop for... after the grass is dug up... And I couldn't wait for warmer weather! What the hell was I thinkin buying a place with a yard and not sticking with air plants??? You can be sure... I am lookin at you studly boy's who like to help and am singin... wishin and hopin... Sorry, it's the only two words I can formulate, I'm so tired! You said you were going to intrude more, I wasn't doing anything today, just 4 hours in class, 6 in the library and now probably another four in front of my laptop, I'm sure I could have fit your plants in :) It really is a weird thing though. I hate cleaning, like really hate it. I do it at my house, sometimes, because I'm not scumbag, but hate it. Yet, I thoroughly enjoy cleaning for a Domme, even in a no stings scenario, I guess it's just kind of like an honor to be in their presence or something like that. Who knows, I'm not exactly going to try and explain how or why I process some of these things.

slavekal -> RE: No Strings Housework? (4/23/2009 8:57:42 AM)
I was just talking to Ms. Mlicious about this. She has me, and a few other males who are happy to do her grunt work. I kinda had to mention to her, however, that she is not really treating her devotees fairly when she acts like they are buddies just doing her a favor when they come over to do yard work or paint. She can have a bad habit of defaulting to vanilla conversation/attitudes. I am not saying that she owes any of us "play time", but if she would just channel her inner Catwoman a bit more, she would be guaranteed future volunteers. A slave needs to be treated like a slave, not a pal. Sometimes that can be reward enough for us.

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