AAkasha
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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
If a woman is studying -- hell, I would even saw AWARE -- of a man's level of hardness and is somehow using this to judge her own performance, she's going down the wrong path.
Female domination is about the enjoyment of the woman.
*snorts laughter* I like hard cocks for the same reason that you like wet tear-stained lashes or pretty trembling mouths, Akasha: because they turn ME on. It has nothing to do with some unhealthy self-defeating obsession with the man's mental state, or his judgment of me, my sexiness, or my dominance per se. His erection is a fetish for me, and it is the specifically sexual responses in my partner, male or female, that keep me interested. This is why I have no use whatsoever for impotent or non-orgasmic submissives.
Whipping and beating ANYONE sans a rewarding sexy response leaves me absolutely, completely, dead-jellyfish-on-an-Arctic-icefloe cold. This is true of women as well as men. And it is why the non-bdsm-contextual "sadism porn" in movies and music videos usually does not work for me.
I watch it thinking "Ok, the pretty guy or girl is tied up--I'm sort of interested." And then it's "Boo, the victim is scared or angry, not turned on, and not enjoying it or showing any real submissive or sexual response." When the "female dominant" character comes along to threaten or torture the victim with no appealing sensual context, all I think is, "Ok, so this woman is an evil psychopath and if I met her in person, I would crush her skull like a fucking juice box." And if the movie is supposed to be sexy rather than horrific, I change the channel.
But what about the men whose erection, or lack of, is a total contradiction of his state? I've seen erections and non-erections that are absolutely no sign of how turned on he is, and if I went by that as a "meter" I would be misled. I find that the trembling lip and the sweat-filled lashes, more often, are a direct indication of the overall physical and sensual impact of the scene. Cocks can lie.
Your second description is interesting. When I see the same scene - in a movie, tv show, whatever - I can absolutely get turned on, and in a huge way. But the way I mentally process it is more like this: I see it as make believe, and he's an actor. And what occurs to me on a subconscious level is that this is a man who is capable with expressing his feelings of vulnerability, fear, nervousness or desperation in a fearless manner - he did it in front of peers, a crew and an audience. He found that place emotionally and is able to express it - and that's really very sexy to me. I like expressive submissives. So I tend to just connect the dots - wow, he'd be a *wonderful* bottom if he's inso S&M, because he's able to face, process and express very intense expressions of vulnerability, and that's not something that comes easily. This is why I can watch a scene of a man handcuffed for a nighttime drama show and maybe go, "Ooh, HOT!," but flip the channel to "COPS" (a reality show) and see a guy handcuffed and go, "ew." It's acting vs. real life for me.
Akasha
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RE: do dommes like erect cocks? - 
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