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RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 5:39:37 PM

Venalismihi

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/28/2008
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Siding with LadyPact on this. I have always stated to every sub/slave that I have met that they are by far the stronger of the two in the D/s dynamic. They have to be in order to not only support their own lives but mine also. I would not wish to walk a day in their shoes but know that without them, I could not walk a day in mine. So, three cheers to you all. Hip hip...

(in reply to hopeful68)

Post #: 21

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 5:50:31 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I don't pose many questions in this section, but this one, I have to ask.

Seriously, why don't you know? Why don't you get that, as a submissive, a girl or a boy, or even as a person for that matter, there's something about you, whatever it is, that is special? I see it every day in so many of you, but you don't see it.

I don't have the clearest eyes in the world, but yours must be closed that you can't see in yourselves what I see. It's time you opened your eyes to see how good you really are. If you can't do that, every once in a while, do Me the small favor of looking at yourself through My eyes and see what I see there. Just do that for Me, if you can't do it for yourself.

That's it. No question. No commentary.

Here's hoping,

Lady P

My answer: probably because many of us are so used to seeing out of the rose colored glasses or we see through jaded and cynical eyes. Speaking from my own experience, it took a special person who somehow managed to capture this bear's heart and soul that I fully understood the specialness that is me.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:01:12 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I can't bring myself to actually respond to this post. I can't even get my mind around what it is others see in me. I just don't see it and that is just a sad fact. I'll even argue them. I don't quite understand it, but words of praise and encouragement cut deeper than any knife. I just don't know how to handle it.

lovingpet

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 23

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:18:59 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Seriously, why don't you know? Why don't you get that, as a submissive, a girl or a boy, or even as a person for that matter, there's something about you, whatever it is, that is special? I see it every day in so many of you, but you don't see it.

Dear Lady Pact,

How to answer this? This opinion is only my own. Perhaps the truth lies somewhere between your words and mine?

How often is a submissive personality seen as the hero? How many role models are there that are emulated in this kind of personality? How often is there a celebration for humility or for quietly working behind the scenes? We are taught from childhood to be independent, leaders, the one who takes charge. Alpha is the pinnacle.

It is a ... tightrope we walk of being who we are in a world that does not embrace us. Over and over being denigrated, disrespected or simply ignored can lead to ... apprehension, questioning our worth.

You, as wonderful as you are, can not stand up against that deluge. What I have written is not my final response to your question. But it certainly is food for thought.

You are truly a Lady.

well wishes,

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 24

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:30:34 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I had many self-esteem issues when I was younger.... and they still rear up at times. far more often than I would like. I don't know why Pirate finds me special...

but I am grateful and happy that he does....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 25

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:39:36 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

Wow. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! I have had and still have, as many of us have, self esteem issues and it's hard for me to understand why anyone would want me. Thank Goodness , someone finds me very special. I am often in awe of him and have a hard time figuring out why he wants me! Little, old, short chubby me. wow...

Thanks again! You are an Angel!

< Message edited by greeneyedreamer -- 4/12/2009 7:37:52 PM >

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 26

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:44:10 PM

Venalismihi

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline

Read P.G. Wodehouse's "Jeeves" A more splendid example of an s type hero you could not wish to come across. He did more for me than any other super hero. I know he is fictitious but so is Gor and yet many seem to live by the ethos.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 27

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:47:00 PM

KneelforAnne

Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

I just go about my life doing what I do…not paying the least bit of attention to what I do right, what I do well on…what I am outstanding in. In fact…that’s really hard to see most of the time.

Those little things that I screw up…they play in my mind over and over again.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter who I have become, or what I have made myself into…I still feel like I am that person from my childhood/teen years…

But, I think it’s always nice to hear that I am special, to someone.

Thank you for the thread, Lady Pact.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 28

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 6:59:28 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

sometime we forget just how special we really are. i am a gregarious person always trying to help out others and think nothing of myself in doing it. sometimes it takes us a while or something sudden to remind us of just how precious we truly are to those that we serve. it truly is a gift our submission to our respective Dominants/Masters that we are truly special it the dynamic no matter what the dynamic or the gender.

(in reply to KneelforAnne)

Post #: 29

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 7:00:20 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Seriously, why don't you know? Why don't you get that, as a submissive, a girl or a boy, or even as a person for that matter, there's something about you, whatever it is, that is special? I see it every day in so many of you, but you don't see it.

I don't have the clearest eyes in the world, but yours must be closed that you can't see in yourselves what I see. It's time you opened your eyes to see how good you really are. If you can't do that, every once in a while, do Me the small favor of looking at yourself through My eyes and see what I see there. Just do that for Me, if you can't do it for yourself.

Seriously, this is one of the nicest, sweetest things I've seen anyone do in a coon's age. Anybody happen to mention to you lately what an absolute angel you are?

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 30

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 7:02:59 PM

Juliannadelion

Posts: 869
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: circusofthedamned
Status: offline

What an amazing post dear LadyPact - thank you.

_____________________________

Do you think this kind of love happens every day? ~ Asher

Bonded by blood, bound to His soul, soon to be his wife, owned by AsherDeLampyr

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 31

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 8:26:55 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

After reading some of the responses here, I wanted to add some thoughts.
Why don’t we know? Sometimes it is our parenting background. There is a very small window in out formative years to develop a healthy self esteem. If that is not nurtured then we do not grow into it naturally.
Why don’t we see it? Sometimes it is a glitch in our brain. I know when I am severely depressed I am unable to believe that I am special in any way.
Why won’t we see it? (my question) I think fear is part of the answer, as well as confusion. We fear that we will be viewed as vain, a negative connotation. We are confused about the fine line between self satisfaction and bragging.
No one can make us believe in ourselves. Positive reinforcement such as your post certainly can make us feel good—for awhile. (and it is appreciated! There isn’t enough of that in the world!) But unless we do our own work or seek professional help to re-frame our self concept we still are not going to feel it.
How do we work on it? I think we need to make a conscious effort to focus on the good things we did today and every day. We need to learn to believe that they really were accomplishments! When those niggling thoughts about our screw ups encroach, we need to shut them up! We need to give more weight to the good things than the bad. We need to look in our mirrors and repeat out loud. “You are okay! You did good work today” And we need to do these things every damn day until we can grin back at ourselves and know in our hearts that we speak the truth.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 32

RE: Seriously - 4/12/2009 9:06:47 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

While I appreciate it, don't thank Me. All I did here was point out that you are, indeed, special. I'm no angel for it. All I did was come along and tell you the truth.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 33

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 3:48:07 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venalismihi

Read P.G. Wodehouse's "Jeeves" A more splendid example of an s type hero you could not wish to come across. He did more for me than any other super hero. I know he is fictitious but so is Gor and yet many seem to live by the ethos.

i love that stuff!! - but wasnt he (sorry everyone) - topping from the bottom an awful lot?? i mean he manipulated everything, especially his Master, Wooster.

_____________________________

aka lally

(in reply to Venalismihi)

Post #: 34

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 3:54:04 AM

Venalismihi

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline

Could be seen in that context indeed. But me, well, I never mind bowing to a superior mind, and let's face it, anyones mind was superior to Wooster's even on a good day, lol.
What I love about a well matched D/s is that [for me anyway] I do not have to think for myself regarding the everyday aspects of life. I know from waking to sleeping that he is one step ahead of me [knowing me through and through] and always with the best for me in mind.

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 35

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 3:57:26 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

Nice posting

while I do lack of self confidence in some aspects of my life (as you simply can only take a certain amount of b/s until your confidence starts to weaken; though I keep working on it that it does not crash down completely), thankfully I still am able to see the special aspects I have...which sadly still does not avoid to meet the ones I would be better off not to meet in the first place...if I would not consider myself to be special in certain aspects which are important to me, then I would have submitted last year, as then I would not have cared about where I end up. But as I am fairly proud about my special aspects and have no intensions to waste them for life towards a person who has not earned to receive them, I am still in negotiations with someone who does seem to value them on the right level at the moment. But yes, everyone has aspects which make him or her special

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to wisdomofgiving)

Post #: 36

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 4:01:05 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

Think the topic's awesome!
But kinda spooky that submissives need to be told these things...wonder if dominants need this sort of pep up post too

I'm probably overthinking owell

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 37

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 4:06:42 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

i think that when you have to reavaluate youreself through someone elses' eyes thats when all the buggaboos and insecurities arise.

in my own space and time i can float about in my paganistic/neo hippie way and project my positivity into my surroundings so that they can bounce back at me and though i dont actually say 'hey kid, youre special' i do feel blessed sometimes

then a D comes along who scrutinizes our every thought, word and deed, its like living under a microscope and our tendency is to curl up like a hedghog and get all self protective about ourselves, because who can enjoy such spotlight unless theyre some lovie from the theatre or some kind of egomaniac

his/her job is to slowly prize us open, expose all of those things weve stashed in dusty forgotten corners and draw from us the complicated, contradictory, cautious submissive lurking somewhere in the depths. im speaking for myself, but im sick of typing me and i - been doing too much of that lately.))

in a way it is exposing the child because it may have been only since childhood that this element in us was ever completely open and vulnerable.

_____________________________

aka lally

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 38

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 4:09:28 AM

Venalismihi

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline

Again, only my experience, everyone needs a boost every now and again and that always and never with exception came from my boy. Without you sub/slave's, I am sure that we would be miserable, mindless wonders. Your very existance is what keeps this Domme breathing and loving every day in an otherwise, anxiety ridden world. What would we be without you?

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 39

RE: Seriously - 4/13/2009 4:19:52 AM

manxcat

Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venalismihi

Again, only my experience, everyone needs a boost every now and again and that always and never with exception came from my boy. Without you sub/slave's, I am sure that we would be miserable, mindless wonders. Your very existance is what keeps this Domme breathing and loving every day in an otherwise, anxiety ridden world. What would we be without you?

Pretty much what i was thinking.

manxy

_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

(in reply to Venalismihi)

Post #: 40

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