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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/16/2009 6:35:19 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

You always say that, you said the same thing in the anal thread, but you are wrong, if the act itself makes me see him as NOT dominant, then it does change it. If the man I love, submit to, and suffer for wants to be face down ass up for a spanking? Not fucking hardly. I will see him instantly in that moment as weaker than he was, and oh so not dominant.  Just as certain that he would find it a huge turn off if I suddenly wanted to have him lick my boots and serve me drinks naked in a collar. You think that doesn't change who is in charge? Maybe not for you, but no way in hell is that going to not irrepairably alter how we see each other. 

I’m consistent; good for me!
 
It is not the act but your reaction to it that changes the dynamic. 
 
I do not have a list of Dominant Do’s and Don’ts in my head.  Since I have agreed to live in accordance to his authority, am I not then obligated to abide by that agreement?   My perception is that if he wants something and I comply with his wishes, he is still dominant and I am still submissive. 


quote:

   Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place.

 Very true.  However, my ‘emotional place’ is submission to his will.; that is what fulfills me.  I do not presume to redefine for him what he finds pleasing. 


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/16/2009 8:01:20 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?


Absolutely, I'm very touchy/feely and playful, so being able to spank her would be a requirement for me. Although i would expect to be punished for it if she felt the desire to do so.

Now if you're talking about taking her over my knee and seriously doing it? Probably not. I've jokingly done it with both of us laughing hysterically, but if it became less than a complete joke, I'd stop.

I've been with someone who had a masochistic side to her, and would bite and scratch her while cuddling or having sex with her, but I wouldn't be able to string her up and beat her like she did to me.


_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/16/2009 8:02:42 PM   
L00king4myDaddy


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		Oh yes...i would be able to spank Him if it was an order and knowing that it would give Him pleasure

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 2:22:02 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?



Overall, yes. It would be just another thing I could do for him. I wouldn't, however, enjoy it and if he wanted it on a regular basis I would probably suggest him finding a play partner.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to subsubtle)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 2:41:36 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Well I am a switch and I would love it if Daddy let me exercise my switch tendancies on him, but in a normal situation, were Inot a switch, no I would not desire to provide masochistic sensations to the one who I had chose to be with.

And I would not be ok with them going somewhere else to get that need met, so they really would have to not have any masochistic desires or inclinations, nor want pain from me at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?


(in reply to subsubtle)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 3:21:03 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

 Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.


Yup.  Gotta agree strongly with this.  If my dom said to me tomorrow, hey marie, it's my will that you be the dominant in our relationship now,  I guess he is still in control, in a technical sense.  And if I obey his command to be dominant towards him, I guess I'm still being submissive by obeying, even though I'm dominating him now.  What came first, the chicken or the egg? 

I believe that certain acts and actions are dominant or submissive.  But those acts and actions vary from person to person depending upon how each person processes the act in question.  Yeah, if my dom told me to beat his ass, it would be the last second that I viewed him as my dom, as I see crouching down with your ass in the air to receive a belt, a submissive act, certainly not one of dominance.. To someone else, well, he's still the dom since he's calling the actual shots.  Is that what would be called bottoming from the top? 

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 3:35:16 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

  If my dom said to me tomorrow, hey marie, it's my will that you be the dominant in our relationship now,  I guess he is still in control, in a technical sense.  And if I obey his command to be dominant towards him, I guess I'm still being submissive by obeying, even though I'm dominating him now.  What came first, the chicken or the egg?  


No, he no longer wants the control. In that scenario, I would say he is giving up his authority. That is quite different from instructing me to fulfill a masochistic desire he has.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 3:47:16 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

  If my dom said to me tomorrow, hey marie, it's my will that you be the dominant in our relationship now,  I guess he is still in control, in a technical sense.  And if I obey his command to be dominant towards him, I guess I'm still being submissive by obeying, even though I'm dominating him now.  What came first, the chicken or the egg?  


No, he no longer wants the control. In that scenario, I would say he is giving up his authority. That is quite different from instructing me to fulfill a masochistic desire he has.



It's not different at all.  Your view of each act (a command to spank vs a command to dominate) is what's different.  In both cases, he is still controlling or exercising authority.  I don't think there's a right or wrong.  It comes down to how a person views an act or action, whether it be the act of obeying, commanding, or flogging an ass.


(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 4:31:21 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

 Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.


Yup.  Gotta agree strongly with this.  If my dom said to me tomorrow, hey marie, it's my will that you be the dominant in our relationship now,  I guess he is still in control, in a technical sense.  And if I obey his command to be dominant towards him, I guess I'm still being submissive by obeying, even though I'm dominating him now.  What came first, the chicken or the egg? 



Is it not true, in order to be the dominant, one must assert their will on to another? If so, I am confused how a sub can still be the sub, once they start asserting their will.
Kim


_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 4:50:18 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I wouldn't of flogged you, if it was me and you did that, I would of ended play time and packed up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scotty306134

Since my desire is to please my Dom/me I would do it to the best of my ability. I would rather be on the receiving end though...    One of my Mistress's Domme friends was learning to use a flogger... I was the "test dummy"... She was having a very hard time allowing Herself to hit me hard enough....When She turned around to speak to my Mistress I picked up a second flogger that was lying there and gave Her a two quick normal hits on Her buttocks. Boy what an insperation! She had no problem swinging a flogger after that!

(in reply to Scotty306134)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 4:51:15 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?



Yes and Yes.
It's a form of service.  If I refused, I would not be in submission to him.

quote:

Hehe, no Maam.  I would get no joy out of that but I was curious.  There was a Domme who I talked to once who said she might like it for me to spank her sometimes.  I was really surprised to hear that and wondered if I'd be able to do it.  I wanted to see what some other subs thought.



If you got to do only the things you liked, and always refused that which you did not, would that be submission?
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 4:54:40 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Aynne I agree, that if there's situations where I have to be in charge and top him to get things done, then I am being the boss, and I don't seem him as worthy of being my dominant, if I have to bail his ass out cause he was to lazy to take charge and get stuff done till I forced the issue.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

. Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 4:59:06 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Aynne I agree, that if there's situations where I have to be in charge and top him to get things done, then I am being the boss, and I don't seem him as worthy of being my dominant, if I have to bail his ass out cause he was to lazy to take charge and get stuff done till I forced the issue.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

. Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.



I just find it really surprising and a little weird that people believe that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensation.  This isn't (originally) a discussion about control it is a discussion about sensation.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:00:19 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		While i understand the very true fact that no action is either Dominant or submissive, i could never spank or 'Top' anybody who was taking an actively Dominant role in my life.. Whether it was my Master or just simply a play partner..

If i was in a relationship with a Dominant masochist, of which i have known several, then i would have to insist that their pain needs were met elsewhere.. Because i don't find myself to be capable of even contemplating the idea of Topping anybody to whom i am essentially submissive. i am a slave with a Sadistic streak, but i can't switch with the same person on any level.

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:17:15 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:


I just find it really surprising and a little weird that people believe that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensation.  This isn't (originally) a discussion about control it is a discussion about sensation.
 
the.dark.  


Yes, thanks for succinctly stating the point I’ve been trying to make here!
 
When he makes a cup of tea and brings it to me because he wants to I don’t feel the power balance has been changed; the spanking or giving him pain is on the same level as the cup of tea. 


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:21:03 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

 Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.


Yup.  Gotta agree strongly with this.  If my dom said to me tomorrow, hey marie, it's my will that you be the dominant in our relationship now,  I guess he is still in control, in a technical sense.  And if I obey his command to be dominant towards him, I guess I'm still being submissive by obeying, even though I'm dominating him now.  What came first, the chicken or the egg? 



Is it not true, in order to be the dominant, one must assert their will on to another? If so, I am confused how a sub can still be the sub, once they start asserting their will.
Kim



If he says "Top me", "Spank me" or "Dominate me", it's still his order, and I'm still obeying him whether it's to top him sexually, or dominate what he's going to eat and wear today.  He still told me to do it and I'm still obeying because he wants to feel it, or try it, or headfuck me, or whatever.  Who is in control in that scenerio?  It all depends on how you tilt the diamond.

Can we say as a fact that taking a spanking or giving a spanking is a submissive or dominant act?   It depends on how the parties associate that particular act.

Of course we each see certain actions as dominant or submissive. If we didn't, we'd be in vanilla relationships where everything is on equal footing.  We are doing something different in ds relationships.  One party is being submissive and one is being dominant, so obviously certain acts must be defining that status for us.  But what we could never all agree upon is what actions specifically are dominant or submissive.  To each his own in the sense that we all process or associate different actions/behaviors/acts/mindsets as dominant or submissive.  

(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:21:42 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Darcy I don't think they're devoid of need of sensation that's not it at all, but It's situations where, I have to come in all hard assed and domme like and ball busting to get needed things done, that I don't see him worthy of submitting too. If I have to do that.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Aynne I agree, that if there's situations where I have to be in charge and top him to get things done, then I am being the boss, and I don't seem him as worthy of being my dominant, if I have to bail his ass out cause he was to lazy to take charge and get stuff done till I forced the issue.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

. Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.



I just find it really surprising and a little weird that people believe that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensation.  This isn't (originally) a discussion about control it is a discussion about sensation.
 
the.dark.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:32:39 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Aynne I agree, that if there's situations where I have to be in charge and top him to get things done, then I am being the boss, and I don't seem him as worthy of being my dominant, if I have to bail his ass out cause he was to lazy to take charge and get stuff done till I forced the issue.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

. Acts are more than just "acts" they creat a feeling and put you in an emotional place. Like humilitaiton, that is far from being just an act.



I just find it really surprising and a little weird that people believe that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensation.  This isn't (originally) a discussion about control it is a discussion about sensation.
 
the.dark.

 
No one said that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensations.  That's really taking it to an extreme.
 
And it's not just a topic of a physical act.  Its a topic of as a submissive  would you be able to spank (essentially hit) your dom.  A lot of the submissives who responded here do have a problem with that.  And of course, many do not.  Why is it called "weird" for those of us who can't see physically hitting, or spanking our dominant?  Maybe there's a legitmate reason for some submissives feeling that way. I don't think it should be dismissed as "weird".

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:33:13 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2
If he says "Top me", "Spank me" or "Dominate me", it's still his order, and I'm still obeying him whether it's to top him sexually, or dominate what he's going to eat and wear today.  He still told me to do it and I'm still obeying because he wants to feel it, or try it, or headfuck me, or whatever.  Who is in control in that scenerio?  It all depends on how you tilt the diamond.

Can we say as a fact that taking a spanking or giving a spanking is a submissive or dominant act?   It depends on how the parties associate that particular act.

Of course we each see certain actions as dominant or submissive. If we didn't, we'd be in vanilla relationships where everything is on equal footing.  We are doing something different in ds relationships.  One party is being submissive and one is being dominant, so obviously certain acts must be defining that status for us.  But what we could never all agree upon is what actions specifically are dominant or submissive.  To each his own in the sense that we all process or associate different actions/behaviors/acts/mindsets as dominant or submissive.  


I would disagree.  I don't believe in 'vanilla' relationships anyway, but even if I did follow the 'code' of difference, then I find the satement that vanilla relationships are already equal to be inaccurate anyway.
 
The thing that people are mixing up is control with sensation.   Giving up control (telling a partner to become dominant) and inflicting pain(spanking) are totally different subjects.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/17/2009 5:40:01 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2
No one said that dominants are void of feelings and need of sensations.  That's really taking it to an extreme.
 
And it's not just a topic of a physical act.  Its a topic of as a submissive  would you be able to spank (essentially hit) your dom.  A lot of the submissives who responded here do have a problem with that.  And of course, many do not.  Why is it called "weird" for those of us who can't see physically hitting, or spanking our dominant?  Maybe there's a legitmate reason for some submissives feeling that way. I don't think it should be dismissed as "weird".


I wasn't dismissing, I just find it weird.  But if you want to go along that line of thought, then it seems it's ok for people to dismiss dominants because they might be masochists?
 
And yes, the topic is about spanking a dominant who demands it.  It's not about relinquishing control (like telling a submissive to dominate) which is a completely different subject and comparing apples to oranges - it's about obeying an order and submitting.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 60
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