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Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away - 4/18/2009 9:37:34 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin
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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 9:47:20 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		They have the right, whether I would go for it, would depend on what I was looking for.

Kim

p.s. perhaps I should have said liberty; they have the liberty.

< Message edited by cpK69 -- 4/18/2009 9:52:55 AM >

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 9:48:25 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Right away? you mean first contact? if so She doesn't have consent and is in no position to do more than say "If you want to deal with Me then this is the way it will go, if that isn't good enough then be on your way"

If you mean, straight away after She has your consent then Yes!


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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 9:49:54 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Of course it is her "right" to do so.  It is also the submissive/servant's "right" to choose whether that style works for them.

Personally, I have a few set rules that apply to everyone and those are laid out straight away.  Most other rules are developed over time or are situational.



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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 10:48:00 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Depends on what the rules are.

When talking to a submissive the first time, I frequently state right away that I expect all my questions will either be directly answered to, or else she will say that she's not comfortable answering at that point.  That's common courtesy, and I see no reason I shouldn't state it up front.

If, on the other hand, I give her a rule that she is to be buck naked with nipple clamps on while chatting with me... that's uncalled for.


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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 10:55:10 AM   
sirsholly


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< Message edited by sirsholly -- 4/18/2009 10:56:46 AM >

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:29:44 AM   
VeryNastyDom


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline 		When you first make contact on line, you are getting to know each other.  Other than common courtesy, I don't expect more from anybody I speak with.

Once you have decided to be collared or whatever level of commitment the two of you choosen, the rules change.  However, up until that point you owe Mistress nothing but honestly and politeness.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:34:40 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		She has the right to tell you what she is looking for and her expectations from a submissive/slave if she is seeking one. As for laying down "the law", I would think that would come when she was considering collaring someone, but right off the bat? No at least I don't.

~Lashra


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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:36:54 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		This is one of those questions that can be answered...as someone did...in this manner:  Mistress/Master/Sir/Ma'am can say whatever they like on first approach, first conversation, first meet...it is up to the submissive to decide if having every rule of that dominant laid down to them and expected to be followed from first conversation on is what they want to go for.

Personally, I don't consider myself as having the right to expect anything from a submissive who decides to speak with me other than the same courtesy and civility I've shown her, even if it is a short note to say "Thank you but not interested".  Laying down the law in terms of behavior might be done in a general way for the first meet but anything more than that is going to require interest on the submissive's part and my own in going further.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:43:00 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I don't think it does depend on what the rules are.  The person who is hearing the rules still has the option at that point to say, no thanks (or fuck off for that matter) I don't care for your rules. 

While I do not expect anyone to 'obey' me upon first contact, I do expect to share with them how I expect things to be done.  I also expect that they consider what I have to say and how I wish things to be done to determine for themselves if they are capable of living up to my expectations. 

It doesn't matter what those rules are, my rule 'could' be that all persons who speak to me MUST chop off their toes (just an extreme example folks, that is NOT one of my rules), and if they do not chop off their toes per my demands, then I move on, as do they for thinking I'm an insane nutjob.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:55:57 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin



Like everything else, this depends on the people involved. For me, yes, I lay it on the line straight away. As you've probably seen from other posts of mine, this isn't a social dance for me. I'm not in the market for a lover, a romantic partner, or a 'date', so the only reason that a person would choose to continue a relationship with me is because of what I am as an authority figure in relation to hir D/s or M/s paradigm or as a chosen artist for body modification. It is senseless, in my mind, to spend hours or days beating around the bush, only to figure out that my authority pattern and expectations, and this person's style of submission and expectations are completely incompatible, so I lay down the my interpretation of "the law", my expectations, and what I offer in return, as well as what is absolutely -not- on the table for negotiation right out of the gate. As long as no agreement has been reached on any kind of commitment, the individual in question is welcome to get up from the table (I always meet in a public place separate from either of our domiciles, temporary or permanent) and go home. If xhe chooses to stay and try things out, the rules apply immediately, there is a designated, agreed-upon trial period, and then longer-term decisions are made from that point.



< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 4/18/2009 11:59:46 AM >

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 11:56:43 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		Given the ratio of dommes to submissives I would think they can put forth whatever rules they wish when they wish. Supply and demand is a real bitch sometimes.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 12:11:15 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		It's communication. Direct. Succinct. To the point. And communication is generally a good thing.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 12:31:39 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin



Ah, she isn't your mistress or dominant if she's only made contact with you. Hope that does shatter too many folks' bubbles.

When you both decide to get into a relationship, part of the information you need is what sort of rules or rituals or protocols or expectations there will be. If you can't agree to these and support these, don't sign on. Period.

Now, you might be talking about not Ds rules but rules or the procedure that she wants followed as you get to know each other. Again if you think that is silly or stupid, move on and don't waste either one's time. Sometimes because of the numbers of contacts a female dominant has, she might set up these procedures as a way to weed through them. It isn't personal and it's "being in a Ds relationship." Think of them more as job interview procedures.


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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 2:33:19 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them?


She has whatever "rights" over you that give her.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 2:39:24 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I'm sorry but only a complete bampot or numpty would accept as domination or authority any "Mistress" laying down the law immediately upon contact.

This isn't Wrestling you know... 'In the red corner we have Big Sexy Ass Goddess Bitch and in the blue corner we have Lil Limpdick Subbie, two holds, two knockdowns or a knockout wins the bout.. '

Dominant and submissive are a pair, a double act, a team - one feeds off the other and the dynamic - a word which implies progression and forward movement, is actually based on one doing what comes naturally - i.e. dominating, and the other doing completely the same thing, i.e. submitting.

If you've got to lay down the law right at the start then it's either way too early or there's much deeper issues than you think.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 2:50:41 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		okay - I had to look up 'bampot' and 'numpty' but, yes, what Stella said
 
(Stella..have I told you lately that you're awesome?)

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 2:58:38 PM   
jamelia1959


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/18/2009
Status: offline 		Agrees with Stella too, that is, if you're looking for a genuine, sustainable relationship to develop.  You're a human being first, not a commodity.  Of course if you WANT to be treated as just a commodity, that's your choice - but please be aware of the (sometimes considerable) risks.  Good luck.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 3:00:50 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		An initial contact by a dominant giving me orders or telling me how it will be from that moment? That's simply my cue to move on. The relationship that best works for me starts with two people getting to know each other as people first and taking it from there at their pace, so someone who wants to control from initial contact won't be controlling me or talking to me any longer. I can see in the course of conversation flowing telling each other how you prefer things, what you expect from a submissive that you actually own or a dominant you choose to submit to, but no more than that so early in communication.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 3:24:48 PM   
L00king4myDaddy


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		I have often wondered about this question as well.  As much as I want to give a potential Dom respect, I am unable to be submissive unless we get to know each other, there is a good beginning groundwork for respect for this person and our personalities click. 

< Message edited by L00king4myDaddy -- 4/18/2009 3:25:31 PM >

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