RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 3:49:29 PM

RCdc

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Yes.

the.dark.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 4:02:34 PM

BamaD

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From day one of collaring yes! Hello this is Master soandso and you will ....... on first contact? The Dom/Domme should and will have a lonely life

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 4:10:11 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin

My rules and "laws" are in effect from moment one. I do not need to wait before refusing to comply to other's wishes. If they do not like that there are boundaries I will not allow them to cross, then they are not for me anyway.

And yes, I am fully aware I twisted the nature of intent in your question. The answer to what I assume you meant was already answered very well by Stella.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/18/2009 4:14:14 PM >

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 5:49:23 PM

DesFIP

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They have the right to say anything they want, and you have the right to refuse.
Free speech.

However be glad they do this because this way you don't waste time discovering your incompatibilities.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 6:30:37 PM

LadyDarkDesires

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I have the right to lay down the law if I think it is nessary, durning the first contact. But do I always well that depends on the sub/slave that I am dealing with at the time.

Justification is just like masturbation! The only that gets scewed in the end is You! Lady Dark Desire

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 8:29:40 PM

LPslittleclip

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the law or ground rules. when i first made contact with my M'Lady She had some rules for me simple courtesy and such. when a first contact was arraigned it was stated there would be no play and such. for the Dominant there has to be some basic understanding of ground rules or starting point for the relationship. before i contact anyone i look at there profile and watch the conversations in rooms or read their posts to get an idea of them before i approach them. for the Dominant it may be a way of screening the trolls from the submissives. in the end it is a relationship that is built and in both have to find common ground and and be willing to become what the other wants.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/18/2009 9:21:11 PM

littlewonder

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She has every right, just as you have every right to tell her where you stand.

Doesn't mean either one of you will take it to heart.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 7:26:08 AM

CatdeMedici

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Give them an inch and they can take the mile--its all up to how much you want to give in the initial stages.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 7:43:10 AM

Tantriqu

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Agree that it depends on what 'the law' is, but it can be an excellent test.

After a couple of e-mails, I give a would-be sub a few simple tasks; if they can't fulfill them, they're likely not paying attention, are more interested in a sexual act they think they can control, have another relationship, and/or are otherwise not compatible. Secret switches show their true colours early by balking at something that arouses a sub; perfect for weeding them out.

If your hackles rise at 'laying down the law', ask yourself if the request is unreasonable, if not but you still don't want to do it or feel you shouldn't have to, you have to understand why you feel that way.

Edited to add PS:
But I also don't start off with a list of precisely how they are to react to every situation, nor expect they can fulfill ALL of My sexual demands before I've even touched them; there is a natural progression to both, depending on the sub's experience and responsiveness.

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 4/19/2009 7:46:10 AM >

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 10:34:33 AM

IronBear

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In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 7:53:31 PM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin

[/quotelobod,

If that is what you wanted when you became her slave then she has the right / next time take the time to understand what the hell your doing.

CP

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 8:14:08 PM

AlexandraLynch

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Well, it depends on what it means by lay down the law.

Telling you what to do? Well, if you have given your submission, that's sort of part of the game, isn't it? Otherwise, no, because until you give your submission you two are (or should be) operating as equals in negotiating terms and conditions.

Tell you her hard and soft limits and be overt about discussing her style of domination? Absolutely she should. I'd be disappointing as hell for someone who wants to be crossdressed and called names and treated like an object. Of course, for someone who wants to be treated with the friendly and careful consideration of a working horse, the crossdressing and humiliation would be miserable.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 9:00:31 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

I like this answer, simple and to the point.
I like to lay down my expectations early, it does save us both some time.

I am not playing "let's make a deal", you always have the power and choice to vote
with your feet.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 9:32:05 PM

PanthersMom

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polite conversation with a potential dominant is expected on both sides, isn't it? how many submissives are going to take a "kneel bitch" first contact seriously? how many dominants are going to want a clingy immediately attached submissive? not many in either case. relationships are between two people who know each other and accept each others needs and desires, whether they're in the kink world or the 'nilla. if you choose to give a dominant complete control on first contact that's your business, but it is your choice to do so or not. if you'd rather build a relationship with someone who shares your perspective, then say so and move along.
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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 10:22:27 PM

Aereci

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She has that right the second you grant it to her. Unless you have talked to her and been very clear about your willingness to submit, she should not make assumptions. People always want and expect different things from relationships.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/19/2009 10:44:33 PM

cpK69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aereci

She has that right the second you grant it to her. Unless you have talked to her and been very clear about your willingness to submit, she should not make assumptions. People always want and expect different things from relationships.

I thought it would be more like expecting something for themselves.

General...

I'm not understanding the train of thought from many of the responding posts. When I met my current Dom, three years ago, he did not lay down every law, but he made it perfectly clear, it would be his law.

Why is so impossible that someone would want exactly what may, or may not be, intended by the OP?

*confused face*

Kim

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/20/2009 6:12:33 AM

hardbodysub

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To paraphrase what many others have said, anybody has the "right" to say what they want, to make whatever rules they want for such an interpersonal relationship, whenever they want. It's your right to decide whether to accept them. Period.

If you don't like the manner of a domina who imposes her will in this way before you've had any prior communication, then you should probably just pass her by and continue searching for one who understands that you are not her sub until the two of you have consented to it.

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/20/2009 7:02:59 AM

manxcat

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manxy's law for early in contact: DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL DO!
f.e. if you say you will write more, do so; if you say you will get skype, do so.
corollary: If i ask/tell you to do something, and you do not have a valid reason for not doing it, you are not interested, and neither am i. Next.

manxy

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 6:33:14 AM

susieinacollar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just want to know is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away to Her submissives and servants even when She has just made contact with them? Or is this done more gradually. i would like some views on this
kevin

Mistress is always right. At what ever time she chooses to lay down the law, as gradually as she wants, that's her right, for the time she chose is the right time. May not be "fair" or convenient for you, but this game isnt really about being fair or having rules. Mistress is probably right in most all social situations....

susie

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RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 7:19:50 AM

hardbodysub

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I think the issue here is the difference between A mistress and YOUR mistress.

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