RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 9:02:29 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

Laying down the law..on first contact...??
wheather on-line or meeting..NO..

I do not expect a person I am meeting or talking to to be
"acting" as if if they are not;;
I AM NOT THEIR MISTRESS at first contact...
Many want to do this..due to ignorance ..ask what to wear..call you Mistress or say.
"am I your sub yet?"

This is unfortuante because it opens the lines for abusing and misuse of power and control..

I am interacting..getting to know them in first contact..

(in reply to L00king4myDaddy)

Post #: 41

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 12:25:44 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

I doubt you do. You meet someone at a munch and immediately give her/him orders?
What I'm sure you do is that once interest in you begins, you then tell them your household rules so they can decide if they are compatible.

And that's different from giving orders on a first meet, cyber or otherwise.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 42

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 12:30:35 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

I doubt you do. You meet someone at a munch and immediately give her/him orders?
What I'm sure you do is that once interest in you begins, you then tell them your household rules so they can decide if they are compatible.

And that's different from giving orders on a first meet, cyber or otherwise.

The OP was very specific and deserved a specific answer. There is a big difference in laying down the law, to issuing orders to a person. There is also a difference to laying down the law to an individual and to a persons own submissive or servants. Do you understand the difference?

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 43

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 12:48:06 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The op asked about on first contact. I don't know about you, but I don't think it appropriate to email someone I've never even responded to in a forum and issue them orders. In my book that is a first contact.

Or do you really think that every sub who gets a "kneel bitch" email is being unsublike if she doesn't do just that?

And I know Iron Bear is too mannerly to make that sort of egregious error.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 44

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 12:51:51 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Again, I have to ask if you know the difference between laying down the law on first contact and issuing orders directly to an individual. Because from your response, I am surmising you see them as exactly the same.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 45

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 1:04:49 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Again, I have to ask if you know the difference between laying down the law on first contact and issuing orders directly to an individual.

To refer back to My first post on this. It is quite appropriate for Her to say "If you want to deal with Me then this is the way it will go, if that isn't good enough then be on your way" That is giving someone a choise. Whilst as you say, it wouldn't be appropriate to try giving orders and expecting obedience.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 46

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 2:32:16 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Sometimes a Mistress can jump the gun a little, laying down rules and such before you even know her last name. But I guess I prefer that to a lady who is too lax, who just seems to want to follow my lead.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 47

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 3:21:09 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

I doubt you do. You meet someone at a munch and immediately give her/him orders?
What I'm sure you do is that once interest in you begins, you then tell them your household rules so they can decide if they are compatible.

And that's different from giving orders on a first meet, cyber or otherwise.

The OP was very specific and deserved a specific answer. There is a big difference in laying down the law, to issuing orders to a person. There is also a difference to laying down the law to an individual and to a persons own submissive or servants. Do you understand the difference?

the.dark.

Thank you for saying what I am thinking so much better than I could say it.

WHEN, I am interested in someone I lay down the law which for ME means:
My expectations, what I am seeking, and what I will and will NOT deal with.

This is a long fucking way, from "giving orders".
It is about explaining/stating my expectations and what are My deal breakers.

Laying down MY expectations, saves us both a lot of time.
It certainly works for me.
Peace

< Message edited by MzMia -- 4/21/2009 3:25:29 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 48

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 8:16:04 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

There is a big difference in laying down the law, to issuing orders to a person.

The phrase "laying down the law" is far too ambiguous to draw this conclusion. While I think we agree on the basic issue, you need to get away from that phrase and describe what you mean when you use it. The OP didn't do that, unfortunately, but most replies described what they felt was appropriate or inappropriate.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 49

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 8:30:03 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I'm a lot more comfortable in a potential relationship if she does lay down the law right about the time we first meet. Having been around the block a few times, I find that the longer the process takes, the less likely it is ever going to happen. If we don't hit it off during the first time we meet, the chances are pretty good that we're not going to hit it off any further in the future. Granted, I've made a lot of friends of dominants who I have met and had coffee with, but rarely did we ever emerge as anything other than friends unless it generally started pretty quick. For some people it works the other way. For me, rarely.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 50

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 11:37:08 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

quote:

There is a big difference in laying down the law, to issuing orders to a person.

The phrase "laying down the law" is far too ambiguous to draw this conclusion. While I think we agree on the basic issue, you need to get away from that phrase and describe what you mean when you use it. The OP didn't do that, unfortunately, but most replies described what they felt was appropriate or inappropriate.

I see that the OP was pretty specific. Regardless, 'laying down the law' is far from ambiguous. People wanting to change the OP to suit their own agendas? Fine, that happens. However, there is a difference between a person telling their submissives or servants immediately, 'This is what I want and if you serve me this is how it is done' - to the familiar 'on your knees'.

And then REGARDLESS of that - people can demand or say anything they want - beauty of free speach an all that. Whether it is accepted as polite, rude, insulting, demeaning, ridiculous, funny, stupid or a total swoonfest, becomes purely subjective.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 51

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/21/2009 11:41:28 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

Laying down the law..on first contact...??
wheather on-line or meeting..NO..

I do not expect a person I am meeting or talking to to be
"acting" as if if they are not;;
I AM NOT THEIR MISTRESS at first contact...
Many want to do this..due to ignorance ..ask what to wear..call you Mistress or say.
"am I your sub yet?"

This is unfortuante because it opens the lines for abusing and misuse of power and control..

I am interacting..getting to know them in first contact..

As a great example I would use this.
Laying down the law is telling someone that they are not your submissive and that you are not their mistress at first contact.

Pretty much shows that the answer is a yes.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

Post #: 52

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 7:04:56 AM

MissJanice2

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

Just with anything else, it is good to set rules up front and then go from there. There is less confusion that way.

Best Wishes,

MJ

(in reply to cpK69)

Post #: 53

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 7:45:51 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In my book ......Hell Yes. At least the prospective sub/slave knows the score from the start.

I doubt you do. You meet someone at a munch and immediately give her/him orders?
What I'm sure you do is that once interest in you begins, you then tell them your household rules so they can decide if they are compatible.

And that's different from giving orders on a first meet, cyber or otherwise.

Actually lass in this you are completely wrong.

I do not give orders to any than those in my Home. At the first meeting which will be a coffee meet or when some one brings another who has already expressed interest in meeting, to visit us, and after the ice is broken, I do indeed lay on the table how we operate and what I expect of all house members and my expectations of any slave. I also answer what questions they may have. Since the majority of persons I meet under these conditions have more than a passing interest in the Victorian Lifestyle Home and are mostly not looking for a collar or joining us things tend to be even more relaxed.

Seeing as I have withdrawn from the local scene, I just don't do munches and when I did I spent the time enjoying catching up with people I know or my usual thing which is sitting back in the shadows enjoying watching people. I am really not a social person these days and yes I do know I also am afflicted with chronic shyness but still enjoy watching Lady Neets being the social butterfly in the family.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 54

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 7:57:04 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I agree with you, Iron Bear.

One of the first things I tell a submissive is that if they wish to get to know me, they will be civil and courteous in their dealings with me, even when we come to that inevitable disagreement that wil come up in the getting- to-know-you process. Their ability to be civil and courteous, even in the heat of a disagreement, tells me a lot about them.

This is an example of me "laying down the law". It is "the law" for dealing with me. It is not me issuing orders to the submissive.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 55

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 8:17:01 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I guess you could say I lay down the law to some extent BEFORE first contact.... from the top of My profile...
"If you are looking to discuss something or have a question, then polite e-mails that show effort will almost always be replied to when I get time to do so.
One liners and obvious trolls will simply be deleted!"
No one liners, show effort.... setting initial terms under which I will accept communication from someone approaching Me... even just to ask a question!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 56

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 11:00:19 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Exactly!

I can refuse to talk to someone, I can refuse to write a reply to someone.

My laws don't require anyone submitting to me to have them be enforced.

A girl was going to come visit me and asked how I prefer her to dress. I explained my preferences/law to her. Had she come, and had she not dressed as I requested, she would not have spent much time in my company.

My law, my enforcement. Her consequences.

That example is pretty shallow as examples go but it works to explain.

Another law on first meeting. Courtesy. Break the law, it will be a first and last meeting.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/22/2009 11:02:54 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 57

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 6:39:25 PM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

My law, my enforcement. Her consequences.

I am confused about how this is worded.

Wouldn’t it be your law, your enforcement, your consequences; her will, her choice, her consequences?

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 58

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 7:56:28 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Regardless, 'laying down the law' is far from ambiguous.

Only in your own, evidently closed, mind.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 59

RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straig... - 4/22/2009 11:51:12 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Do you have a total inability to hold a discussion without trying to make a mean comment when a poster disagrees with you? I know I have absolutely no impact on your life, but it makes it very difficult to hold a discussion with you because you make or take everything so personal. If you feel that way, sobeit. I am a great believer that people only see and accuse others of what they have within themselves.
It would be easy enough to accuse you of exactly the same, simply because you believe the exact opposite. But that would be pointless and fruitless to a debate.
Thing is hardbodysub, I can 100% be sure that you lay down the law on first contact, and you aren't a female dominant. I then went to look at your profile and it's there. The demands and the law that you believe in.
So even if the question was about s-types, the answer would still be a yes. Because you 'can'.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it a Mistress's right to lay down the law straight away

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094