CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
My questions are these: If an s-type has been given or taken a new name, do you feel you should use it when addressing this person? Yes, I do. My perspective comes from being a part of a spiritual path that believes in name-changes after having navigated crucial life-cusps, and having had some name changes related to my spiritual journey that are reflected -offline- and -legally-, and -still- having people refuse to call me by my chosen/initiated name. If my name-change were because I married, nobody would have an issue with calling me by my new last name, so why is it that when a person changes the direction of hir life and chooses (or is given) a name appropriate to that change, we have such an issue with it? quote:
Do you think it could be seen as a lack of respect to the person's wishes, or the new dynamic, by not doing so? Honestly, I do. To me, it is like failing to accept when a friend has a new steady boyfriend, or even more so, when a friend marries and changes hir name. It's just rude, and shows a certain disregard for another person's feelings. quote:
Does it matter if you knew the person before the name change? Maybe it's a side-effect of the spiritual path I've traveled, but -no-, it doesn't matter. A person's name is a reflection of where and how that person sees hirself in relation to the current Universe, so if hir picture of hirself has changed so much that xhe no longer uses hir former name, then regardless of what I knew hir as before, I believe one should respect that transition. And this is despite the fact that I have a -really- hard time with short-term memory, so learning a new name once I already have managed to get someone's name etched in my long-term memory is no small feat for me... but I believe that it is worth it to give others that small dignity. The only exception I've made this this is getting over the fact that my Poppy won't call me by anything but my birth-name. He's put up with a lot of guff from me over the years, so if he wants to call me by my birth-name, that's fine... he accepted my tattoos and piercings, accepted my weird writing (he's glad I do -this- in my "fake" name), accepted my poly family, accepted my poly mates' children as his grandchildren and great grandchildren and even put them in his will, accepted that I'm a priest in something he can't even consider as a religion, and if he can't embrace the fact that I abandoned my birth name, well, he's 90 years old... I cut him some slack. *grins* Edited to correct some sorry grammar/punctuation errors!
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 4/21/2009 4:22:25 PM >
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*** Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!" "Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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