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RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 8:48:35 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		It better be okay, I don't have the patience to wait for other people to make the first move. I see someone that interests me, I go for it. If I (or in this case, you) don't, someone else will. 

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Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 8:51:26 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Generally speaking, it's okay.  In the case of a male sub and a Domme, if he doesn't make the first move, another male sub will.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 9:46:08 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		My sub approached me on this site, so apparently. But I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for the girls to come to you.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/24/2009 5:51:08 AM   
Blackwolf9


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		*in sarcastic voice* I wouldn't know any subs who do that....

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/24/2009 9:23:11 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If someone does not approach me then I have no clue whether or she is interested.


Quite. If I notice someone who seems interesting then I'll say 'hi' and find out more... however there are a LOT of people out there and I'm not guarenteed to notice. If a girl spots Me and things there is compatability in what We are both looking for then dropping Me a memo about why she thinks there is that compatability is the only way to guarentee I'm going to even notice her. Who knows I might agree and decide to look further.



This is something in which I am in complete agreement for the same reason as RavenMuse has outlined. For me because I have withdrawn from the local groups and thus am never at events in which some interested unowned slave may see me or have me pointed out, I am more often contacted first from someone here in CM or any other BDSM Forum I am a member of.  If someone contacts me and states that they have an interest and especially if a male who also states that he has al;so read Lady Neets's profile I will pay attention and follow up. makes sence to me. No difference to meeting people with similar interests in the mundane world isn't it?


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/24/2009 12:18:20 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Maybe we put too much emphasis on the lifestyle and consider everything a first move. It could be simple conversation...talk of the weather, politics, sports or about bdsm techniques. Relax.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/24/2009 12:19:58 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

My sub approached me on this site, so apparently. But I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for the girls to come to you.


LOL...that's some statement. I did it, but y'all cant?

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/3/2009 6:36:05 PM   
WyckedDreams


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/7/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with your comment, " The wimpy, doormat type of sub is just sooo much of a turn-off to Me.  Blaaah!"  Boring, Boring, Boring!!!

I am not into subs/slaves that choose this type of mentality.  There are plenty of Dommes/Mistresses that enjoy it, but not me.
I have had a subs/slaves approach me, and I appreciate the initiative. 


_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/3/2009 6:53:16 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		No it's not okay, you'll end having your super duper submissive membership card revoked and find your ass immediately placed in the Uber Dom training boot camp.

Seriously, it's okay.

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/3/2009 7:21:52 PM   
BadJezebel


Posts: 138
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		I expect them to make the first move and make an effort to keep me interested. 

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 3:14:07 AM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		usually the dom/me is the one making the moves. Its actually less dom/mely to not be the one initiating things......otherwise why would this line of thought be interesting....

I remember someone saying that you could buck the system, but the system works for a reason....

I've been with women who were totally into me, and seemed to have trouble putting sentences together....

I like women who can actually talk a little......prid pro quo....

(in reply to BadJezebel)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 3:31:31 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Well in My (admittedly limited experience)  I've had submissives "make the first move" as you put it, I never really expect someone to want much to do with Me lol, that'd just be arrogant and a bit naive, afterall, why should they want to.



< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 5/4/2009 3:33:18 AM >

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 3:34:40 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		Yes it's ok. I get a hundred emails a day from male subs "making the first move". Although some of them see "amking the first move" as something along the lines of "day wanna humiliate me on cam". Obviously they are incapable of reading a profile.

I actually like a guy who will spend time doing the formal thing, the getting to know you stuff, the engaging my interest. Domme I am, but woman I am also. I like being courted. Maybe that makes me undommely. I don't really care.

The guy I am speaking with at the moment is actually one I spoke to first. I simply emailed him about something in his profile completely non D/s related. No moves were being made on either side. However, over time, moves are being made, but in equal measure.

Like anything, it's ok if you believe it to be ok. If you don't, no drama's either.

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 2:29:15 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes it's necessary.  When I met Ms. Mlicious, she was very inexperienced in this lifestyle.  I had to take some initiative.  Lucky for me, she is a fast learner.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 2:39:15 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master


I think it's a great idea. If I waited to be asked all the time, it would cut down my play time by at least half! That said, there may be dominants who do not like or allow such things so it's best to just ask the person if they have any issues with it and if not, go for it.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 2:46:33 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		I'm glad my slave sent the first message.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 2:54:22 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

It better be okay, I don't have the patience to wait for other people to make the first move. I see someone that interests me, I go for it. If I (or in this case, you) don't, someone else will. 


I like the way you think, SB.


_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 5:18:45 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		yes i believe its fine... Having said that is not my cup of tea. Before i met Daddy i was talking with and went to met a "D" type from another site... he lived in winchester i believe...anyway... we spent the weekend together and went to a play party with friends ...this whole time he is actting like we are just cool friends. i find out later he was upset because he wanted more with me....i remember thinking...Well he should he made some kind of move then...i mean gee whiz already. 

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 5/4/2009 5:19:27 PM >

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 5:47:37 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, as I have said before, I have had my best success approaching dominants first.  All I have started communication with first have become at the very least good friends and two are quite close with me, and are now getting to know each other.  I think in a relationship, one has to feel free to express what they desire and feel for the other.  If I want sex, I can ask or simply make a gentle move to initiate.  What happens beyond that is not my call as a submissive, but it is my responsibility to communicate my wants and needs in any and every area of a relationship.

lovingpet

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 5/4/2009 7:18:24 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		lovingpet i 200% agree with you.... in the circumstances i talked about above... i truly thought me driving 4 hours to see him was a clear signal i was interested LOL...

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 40
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