RE: Unrequited sub love?

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RE: Unrequited sub love? - 4/28/2009 3:12:19 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
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Don't tell me you love me show me you own me.

That is "my" understanding of "love" with a Man who would be my Master. To me its a continuance of what he chose to do and why i would become his slave -- because of his determination to own me, master me, and enslave me. Everything else to me is simply window dressing that is not the substance of what i would be to him and what he would be to me.  He would be giving me what i NEEDED -- not words of love or promises of same. Hell to me the golden words from him to me was he wants to own her forever.   That to me is a determination he has made and to me, far greater than what he MAY THINK is love.

I don't think she wants a loving D/s relationship -- she seems to want a romantic one.    And she is trying to define the parameters upon which he should TELL her what she wants to hear. Maybe you should advise your friend that actions speak louder than words and she can define his actions as love all she wishes but SHE needs to respect HIS understanding of himself and his understanding that he doesn't easily feel love. To do otherwise is her disregarding what he knows OF HIMSELF in attempt  to manipulate him into what she wants to hear and how she wants him to be.

Personally, i do think the OP should stay out of it. For you as a third party to attempt to manipulate and get involved IS NOT RIGHT. This is really none of your business.   And personally, i don't think you know enough about feeling love or not feeling love to decide something is BS of what someone says. My former Master and the Man i adore now both will tell you that they don't feel LOVE, however, observing them and how they do things and what they do as well as their committment to their determination when they make it to own a woman, would probably fall into MANY people's definition of love.   Be careful in judging a relationship on love especially THIS type.   The needs of the people while sometime a woman things she needs love what she is really looking for is his committment and the security of his ownership and she will find herself ultimately in love with a Man capable of mastering her and enslaving her. He will find himself completely committed to owning her, mastering her and enslaving her.

angel

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(in reply to NorthernGent)

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RE: Unrequited sub love? - 4/28/2009 3:13:06 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Yes to the collar - if she decides that is what she wants, no to the tattoo until at least 12 months have passed. Of course, my Sir waited 12 months to collar me, and we were 24/7 right off the get-go. He was wanting to wait to make sure that i understood what i was getting myself in for.

She - and he need to cool down a little, and take things a bit slower. If it is real , it will still be there in 12 months - as will her skin, ready to be tattooed if they still want that. Nothing has to be done by a timeline. There is always time enough.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

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RE: Unrequited sub love? - 5/1/2009 4:08:41 PM

hislittlebear

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/29/2009
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I have Bears mark. It is a tattoo.

There are some differences though between myself and the person mentioned in the o/p.

I already have two tattoos, one for my mother and one for my father ( both of whom are deceased )
I asked for permission to have the tattoo, i came up with the design and offered it to Bear for his approval, he asked for some changes, which i did, then he approved it.
We decided on a significant date some 3 months in advance (a cooling off period in which i could change my mind, and he could change his)

The tatto is not his name, but is a symbol that represents him. To vanilla people its just a nice tattoo, but to us, its a symbol of my belonging to him, and his belonging with me.

I had the tattoo done on the anniversary of our commitment to each other.

I would never have the name of a partner tattoo'd on my. The only way i would have a persons name tattoo'd is to have the names of my grandchildren, but even then i think i would prefer a symbol that represents them.

I would say, that if your friend really wants to have a tattoo that shows her Doms ownership... she should come up with a symbol that represents him rather than use his name

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RE: Unrequited sub love? - 5/1/2009 5:31:33 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Getting something permanent (tattoo) at the request of someone unwilling or unable to commit fully to you is foolish of the recipient at several levels. It's not just exploitive of the "dom", it's immature, irresponsible, cavalier and ego/fantasy driven.

Focus.

I totally agree. After the tattoo, where do you go from there?

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RE: Unrequited sub love? - 5/1/2009 9:37:23 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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A three month relationship should not be doling out lifetime tattoos. Then again, all you can do is state your concern. She's going to think and do what she wants, regardless.

I was forever marked by a man who did not love me. It was OK with me at the time that he did not love me. However, I'm looking into laser tattoo removal now - it's quite costly but definitely in my future plans. Still, he wanted it so I was going to do it - - despite what anyone else said. If you want to keep your friend, accept her and her decisions, and be there for her if things don't work out,

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Post #: 25