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DesFIP -> RE: Domination & menstruation (5/15/2009 3:35:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy
She said that my wanting to dominate because that was what would please the submissive was itself a submissive act.
I understand what you are saying. I should center what I want over what would please her. Any submissive attitude is going to come across if the thought that my dominating is a submissive act.
Not necessarily. The Man's desires are compatible with mine. Beyond that, he doesn't get any fun if I'm not actively involved. If I was unhappy with what was happening, not trying to please him, just curling up into a ball and trying to endure it, he wouldn't get any pleasure.
He says that it's an energy exchange, that if my energy level is low then I won't be feeding it to him. But if I'm happy and excited by what's going on, then he feeds off that and gets even more into it himself.
Dominants, like submissives, like people of all kind, don't come in just one form.
Basically a dominant is someone who prefers to lead and is good at it, and a submissive is one who prefers to be led by someone who enjoys leading and makes good decisions.
But topping/bottoming require negotiation when you're just meeting people. If they don't enjoy it, don't expect them to come back for more. I'm a great believer in the first few times being filled with stuff that both people like a lot so that it is a positive experience, not a negative. Not to mention that if you don't know them sufficiently well, just doing what you want and expecting them to take it no matter what can well cause them to red, leaving both of you unhappy and disappointed.
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