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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/3/2009 5:23:22 PM

camille65

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
People are limited by their experiences.

I think this says it nicely.

People are limited by their experiences, and some people are much more limited than others.
There are those that are lacking in imagination, cannot picture someone with views genuinely different then their own. Their brain seizes up and they end up sputtering about how 'it can't be real'.

To me it is the single most frustrating part in regards to relating to most other people. I am highly imaginative and it takes me little effort to empathize or put see things from a different side than mine. The majority of people lack that ability.

It is why people cannot understand *poly, homosexuality, cyber, age-play, bdsm, Gor, sushi, or anything else they have not personally experienced and therefore must invalidate lest they expose themselves as the limited people they are*.

Heh I think this is the most cynical post I've ever written!

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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/3/2009 7:54:13 PM

IronBear

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
People are limited by their experiences.

I do believe this may be true for some or even many people, but universally it just doesn't hold water. Were it universally true, there would be bugger all progress in the world. Just think about it and even in our Lifestyles or if you will, the wonderful, weird world of kink, how would people learn and progress if everyone was limited by experience for there would be no one to show them new things? Now I'm jolly sure that NG wasn't referring to a global view of things but then again I tend to take things very literally initially.

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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/4/2009 4:20:40 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
People are limited by their experiences.

I do believe this may be true for some or even many people, but universally it just doesn't hold water. Were it universally true, there would be bugger all progress in the world. Just think about it and even in our Lifestyles or if you will, the wonderful, weird world of kink, how would people learn and progress if everyone was limited by experience for there would be no one to show them new things? Now I'm jolly sure that NG wasn't referring to a global view of things but then again I tend to take things very literally initially.

In the interests of clarity, IB, I was suggesting that an individual only knows of the world that he/she has experienced. This certainly isn't a barrier to progress, of course, on the grounds that as we go through life we experience more.

You know it's raining because you've experienced it; you've seen it, felt it, and even smelt it. In the same vein, you know of something, such as poly, because you experience it. No amount of being told what it's like and talking about it can act as a substitute for that experience. You could discuss what rain or poly may be like, but until you've experienced it you really don't know.

On the OP, we like to herd behind ideas and claim our idea as the more useful one, which lends toward being closed to other ideas. You can see this in religion, politics etc.

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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/4/2009 7:43:45 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Judgemental.. people always use this word incorrectly. To judge means you are placing a certain value on something based on your knowlege, taste or prejudice (also often a misused word!). Must we have no opinions, no thought, no care, no regard about anything in order that we do not offend?
If people cannot stand that others have an opinion on what they do, they should not ask.
I don't find the fault in the people who have opinions. I find the fault in those who cannot handle that someone may not accept what they do.
Kyst

I have to say that I agree with this. People are going to judge things...we all do it every day. The level of judgement generally...though not always...corresponds to the relevance to us of what is being judged. There's a movement afoot in Colorado to do away with the death penalty and take the money that is used to try death penalty cases and devote that to cold cases. On the one hand, that makes sense...crimes solved that have been unsolved. On the other hand, it doesn't make a lot of sense to the families of the murder victims. My own beliefs put me on the side of those families and leads me to judge that those behind the "cold case" thing are being unrealistic in their expectation that this new money would necessarily equate to an almost-automatic ability to solve these cases.

On the BDSM side, I happen to find sticking a loaded gun in a submissive's mouth stupid and, if asked, will say so. That is not based on any experience of my own or even some moral value, it is based on "what could happen". I'm sure there are things I might do that seem just as stupid to others.

In regards to something stated on here earlier...the poly thing...many base their judgement against it in just the same way but some may base it on other things...perhaps their observations ARE that it is hard enough keeping one woman satisfied, let alone 2 or 3 or more; perhaps their experience has been that you may have several people in a poly relationship who are very open to relationships with several people because for these folks, there is little emotion involved or a very logical control of their emotional level---but this person DOES have an emotional investment that is not so easily controlled and wound up being hurt by the casual nature of the rest---you have a situation where the poly is being judged from observation and/or experience.

Having an opinion about something doesn't make you automatically wrong nor does it make you judgemental in the pejorative sense except to those who are being judged and found wanting.

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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/4/2009 2:53:17 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

Having an opinion about something doesn't make you automatically wrong nor does it make you judgemental in the pejorative sense except to those who are being judged and found wanting.

As CD points out and I have said the same in other threads, a judgment is an opinion. Period, end.
No one has ever complained when what they do or say is judged in a positive light! So it would seem that only negative opinions are to be eradicated from our discussions? How dull!
I don’t think it is always a good thing for the majority opinions to hold sway. Sometimes the widely-held opinions can be very wrong!

I do not believe that I must experience something to understand or accept it. I believe, as my original post on this thread states, we can avoid knee-jerk responses if we take time to think it through. Looking at something from another angle may or may not change my mind, but I can provide a rationale for why I believe something is right or wrong.

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RE: I don't understand so grrrrrrrr - 5/4/2009 3:31:57 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

catize
I do not believe that I must experience something to understand or accept it. I believe, as my original post on this thread states, we can avoid knee-jerk responses if we take time to think it through. Looking at something from another angle may or may not change my mind, but I can provide a rationale for why I believe something is right or wrong.

i LOVE it when someone says JUST what i was thinking....it saves me some typing

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 5/4/2009 3:32:22 PM >

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