lovingpet
Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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For those wondering why someone would want or feel the need to "come out", I do have some insight here. It really depends on the kinds of play that a person expects to be involved in, how much time is spent with family, and much more. Some things just aren't easily hidden and some things that may normally be easy to get around become more difficult as more time is spent and various situations arise.
My family is not particularly close, but we do interact a great deal and in many different settings. This means more chance of discovery. The next two weeks or so could be quite interesting depending on the weather as I will likely need to be covered completely due to the extent of marking from play this coming weekend. If the weather is hot, then it is going to look very odd. Add to this, I have a history of choosing some lousy partners in the long, distant past and they WILL be asking. I haven't come out to them and really don't want to, but it may happen out of necessity.
Somehow I don't think it will terribly surprising to them, but will reinforce some negative beliefs they have about me. I have revealed NOTHING about my sex life to them, nor do I plan to. If I am pressed, then I have no real issue with answering either. My first question will be do you really want to know? It is sort of a consent thing to me. If they think they are being protective of me and turn out to be prying, I want them to have the option of backing out. I have no sympathy left if they choose not to step away from the subject. These are adults, as am I, and they better be prepared to get what they asked for. I will not be going into graphic detail and only answering their specific query, but I will not shy away from the subject at hand either.
Frankly, I plan to feign the flu, cross my fingers, and hope for the best LOL! I just hope I am patched back up in time for my sis's wedding at the end of the month. 
It is also something that is a bit of a hurdle for submissives and isn't always recognized or considered as heavily as it should be. Toys can be hidden and even removed if necessary. My body goes everywhere with me. It is important to me to have a partner who respects me enough to not want to open me to ackward situations like this. I am prepared for and looking forward to what is happening this coming weekend. If I didn't want it due to family concerns, I would hope to have that respected given my reasons for such. The same goes for not wanting to be marked up for dr appointments and other situations.
OP, if you do not wish to be placed in this situation, I personally feel you should discuss this with your partner. Marks are not entirely necessary and perhaps could be avoided prior to your trip with your family to maintain your privacy. Part of the joy of marks for me is having those tasty reminders hidden away only for my own pleasure. Them being visible to others would kind of ruin it for me in a way. If you really do want or feel the need to reveal this to your family, then perhaps your partner can be part of a catalyst to force you to pony up and do it by leaving those marks visible to them. You have as much right to or not to be private about this as your partner has to be private or not private about it and have it respected.
Just be sure that, in being out (if this is what you choose) that you are not trampling on your family members' rights either. They have a right to NOT know as well and should be able to enforce that and set limits as to how much they WANT to know. You need to know your own boundaries in this discussion and adhere to them as well as respecting those of the ones you are disclosing to. Just handle with care.
lovingpet
<<edited because I hate spell check
< Message edited by lovingpet -- 5/5/2009 3:23:37 PM >
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RE: For those who have "come out" - 
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