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RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 1:23:46 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

*snorts laughter*

Hmmm, from my perspective money looks like the biggest 'fetish' object on the planet, worshipped far more widely than any deity, much less a dominant, could ever hope to be . . .. ..

& -- again, may not be true for you -- I notice that money & its acquisition absolutely drips with 'power & control' issues . . . . . Some days I can't think of a more D/s, indeed M/s, thing in our lives other than money . .. .. .

May not be your kink, but I'd say it's the kink of lots . .. . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Quite, but when it is about the money rather than about the Dynamic then it is a business transaction NOT a D/s relationship!

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Post #: 21

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 1:56:38 AM

crumbledwater

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

I was just wondering... If you pay a tribute to a Domme but don't like the servie you received, are you entitled to a refund?

O hells no.

I had a guy demand his money back after he suddenly realized I was serious about the "No Sex" rule.

Not my fault he couldn't read.

That question wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, it's just something that sprang to mind!

Imagine someone had paid $20 for a beating and all they got was a light spanking, surely they'd be entitled to a partial refund?

Money doesn't motivate me sexually and I find it difficult to understand the thrill a submissive would get from sending a Domme money. Also, as someone else said, I've never come across a Dominant's profile requesting tributes. Why is that?

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 22

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 4:01:04 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

*snorts laughter*

Hmmm, from my perspective money looks like the biggest 'fetish' object on the planet, worshipped far more widely than any deity, much less a dominant, could ever hope to be . . .. ..

& -- again, may not be true for you -- I notice that money & its acquisition absolutely drips with 'power & control' issues . . . . . Some days I can't think of a more D/s, indeed M/s, thing in our lives other than money . .. .. .

May not be your kink, but I'd say it's the kink of lots . .. . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Quite, but when it is about the money rather than about the Dynamic then it is a business transaction NOT a D/s relationship!

Yep sure sweetie. Its the bread and butter of a lot of people... wouldn't want to be un PC and tell them it ain't part of what We do now would We?

Bollox, Kink is about people... money is about better bank balances. But lets not tell the male subs who pay through the nose and sort those femdom bank balances... they might wise up and STOP!

EDIT: Before someone trys saying I have an issue with pro's... I know several and some ARE Mistresses in Their private life but even They don't try to pass off what they do for a JOB as having anything to do with D/s. They are providing a service in return for renumeration, it is a job..... unlike in their private life with their sub or slave where it is about the Dynamic and they have a D/s relationship.

It has as little to do with who They really are as a discussion of high responcibility jobs held by subs. It is only how they get paid, not who They are.

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 5/5/2009 4:16:39 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 23

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 8:40:36 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater
Money doesn't motivate me sexually and I find it difficult to understand the thrill a submissive would get from sending a Domme money. Also, as someone else said, I've never come across a Dominant's profile requesting tributes. Why is that?

It's more likely that they just wouldn't use that person again - as long as they got the hour or half hour or whatever of time they paid for, I don't *think* they get it back. I'm not a pro, though, or interested in financial domination/tribute/etc. One man offered me an online shopping spree in exchange for dirty talk/cyber BDSM, and I was *very* offended.

I assume you're asking why male Dominants don't request tribute, since there are bunches of female Dominants who have profiles requesting tributes here. I think that has a lot to do with the male-female dynamic - men are far more likely to pay for sex or BDSM than women are. It has nothing to do with fairness, but women can almost always get it for free, and wouldn't want it if they had to pay for it. A lot of male Dominants *do* want their submissive or slave to give them their paycheck, or sign over property to them, etc., and some female lifestyle (not pro) Dominants do that as well. The submissive who I was with for almost 5 years added me to his checking account and got me an ATM card for it. I didn't ever take any of his money without clearing it with him first, and only used it for household expenses like food, since we were living together. Plenty of vanilla couples who've been together that long have a shared checking account, though, so I don't see that as financial domination, just that he trusted me not to take advantage of him.

(in reply to crumbledwater)

Post #: 24

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 8:55:46 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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I don't really get the problem with pro dommes, why shouldn't they be into it? Of course for a lot of them it is a service, but I would say it does depend if it is your only income. I did the pro domme thing for quite a while, first of all for the superb training and they will only train you if you are giving something back (i.e. rent for the dungeon, which is fair enough as they pass on their expertise and give you the time), then because it was simple with no strings attached. Somebody who does come to a commercial dungeon will not expect you to be their kinky girlfriend.

I always had the choice to say "Thanks, I'm not really into it, we won't mesh" or "I don't really like to do activity x, y or z, so it wouldn't be a good fit", and despite only "working" one or two days a weekend, I was quite busy with the activities I enjoyed, it enabled me to get great equipment because I more or less poured the whole money back into it, being a bit of a fetishist myself (really good leather, made to measure and superb whips and toys don't come cheap), the worst that could happen was that if I didn't like the activities or the people, I said "Thanks but no thanks" and waited a week longer until I could buy a new toy or order a new leather corset, catsuit, etc.

To be perfectly honest, since I am only playing privately and strictly life-style, it seems that the subs I meet are far less courteous and polite, and often a lot less fun than paying clients were. Of course some guys who wanted to be clients were not all that nice, but again, the "No thanks" works. If you are honest about what you do and more importantly don't do, it can be fun and yes, it can be BDSM, but that requires that you tell people who say "Right, I pay so I call the shots, I expect <insert menue> and you have to <insert activities>" that they might not be right for you, and you have to be able to go home without the fee that the session would bring. I can see that it would be a massive difficulty if you need the money to pay your rent.

I'm really not good with money and quite a few times I earned nothing from a session because I had so much fun, that I went way way over time and had to cover the rent for 2 or 3 hours (it's easy to get carried away with a maso and if you do have great chemistry), so my bank account certainly wasn't the motivator, the tribute was a simple way to establish boundaries, it didn't mean that I wouldn't go to fetish parties with them or have a coffee or a meal, but that was my private time, outside of the dungeon was outside, I also got the chance to play with a much broader variety than I met at events and parties and BECAUSE it was in a dungeon, sex was never an issue, it simply was a no go area.
I can't tell you how many mails I get with "I let you whip me, and once you whipped me 'force' me to worship you intimately" (I wish all would phrase it quite so delicately), that was never something I was remotely interested in, but when it comes to life-style most guys do seem to expect it. Additionally, a lot of guys tend to see you just as a commodity, you should supply the place, the equipment, a session how they want it and they bring "themselves", I wouldn't be surprised if somebody would actually ask me for petrol money, after all, they are doing it for "my pleasure", the laundry list of things I can do to them for my pleasure is always amazing...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 25

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 9:01:05 AM

Bella1965

Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

G'morning all:

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater
...and I find it difficult to understand the thrill a submissive would get from sending a Domme money.

Simple. Your kink isn't their kink. Doesn't make it any better or worse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
[Quite, but when it is about the money rather than about the Dynamic then it is a business transaction NOT a D/s relationship!
Kink is about people... money is about better bank balances. But lets not tell the male subs who pay through the nose and sort those femdom bank balances... they might wise up and STOP!

Who made you the D/s police? Some men thrive on this form of domination. See above rejoinder to other poster. Everyone is entitled to their own viewpoint. *shrugs*

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to crumbledwater)

Post #: 26

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 9:02:47 AM

ukmale4u

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline

Would just like to stress that I was refferring to the online only types ,try doing a search for ladies looking for male subs in the UK ,then im sure you will all see the type to which I refer

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 27

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 9:23:13 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

There are many reasons a man may pay to be dominated and some of those include, a clear cut money for service exchange with no strings, he's waited around for years to find a Mistress but still nothing and he needs to scratch that itch, he is very specific in his needs and just wants to head straight for the bulls eye.
Just as a prostitute provides sex, a Mistress provides domination.... if you don't like it then don't do it but don't mock those that do.
D/s of course comes into the life of a pro Mistress. Many times she will be asked to verbally dominate in a very specific way. She becomes a talented actress with some and with others its as easy as water off a ducks back. She may see a client for weeks, months or even years and a fantastic D/s interaction can be going on and believe it or not both can be enjoying it.

I don't take tributes anymore but if I ever needed the money then without a doubt I would do it again.

_____________________________

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to ukmale4u)

Post #: 28

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 9:47:25 AM

slavemick63

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/1/2009
Status: offline

Yes,their are a lot of tribute Dommes,but you dont have to give them your money if you dont want to.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 29

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 9:52:20 AM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Fast reply. Not directed at anyone in particular.

I just did a little bit of research to see how things did stack up as far as tribute goes. It kind of surprised me. My original search was in the US and the filter was set for women aged 20-60. I checked the profile of whatever woman was at the top of the list each time unless it wa one I had already checked. A lot of the women on here seem to think that it is the young, pretty dommes that are causing all the "problems" (I know...probably a bad choice of words) with charging "tribute". Well, out of the thirty that I checked there was only 7 that were either pro or charged tribute. The young and beautiful? No...only two were under 30 years (both 27). The rest were in their 30's and 40's. Only 2 of the 7 were "small" or thin. 2 were what I consider "average" or medium sized, and three were large ladies. Over all I was really surprised that there weren't more charging tribute. Sure seems like it sometimes. But then again, I don't really spend a lot of time looking at profiles only from the US.

So I did as was suggested earlier and checked out the ladies in the UK. This time I just quickly went down the first page and scanned to see if they were pro or charged tribute. ALL BUT THREE on that first page charged tribute or were pro!

I probably spend more time in the Asian and East European profiles than in the US profiles. There, I haven't done any actuall comparisons or anything, but i'm sure the stats would be closer to the UK than the US.

For what it's worth, that is what I found. I'm sure that other results would vary depending on who is online at the time. I know it wasn't a scientific study, so kick it around all you want.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 30

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 10:19:02 AM

crumbledwater

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bella1965

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater
...and I find it difficult to understand the thrill a submissive would get from sending a Domme money.
Simple. Your kink isn't their kink. Doesn't make it any better or worse.

I absolutely agree - just because it isn't for me, it doesn't make it wrong for others. I was simply trying to understand the logic behind it. I'm not a public scene player, and being a heterosexual submissive woman I tend to interract with Doms and other submissives, so have never had the opportunity to befriend a Domme to the extent where I would feel comfortable asking her such questions.

I didn't mean to be the least bit rude and apologise if my flippancy has offended anyone.

(in reply to Bella1965)

Post #: 31

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 10:29:10 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

This kind of baffles me a little igor... I mean, why the hell advertise on here? There are places to advertise and give you your own free website. Places like
UK Mistresses, Mistresses UK, Serious Mistresses as well as your local free add. That kind of advertising is going to give you a continual drip feed of inquiring customers.
For the ones that do advertise on here, what sort of response do you get? Do you start chatting to them in live chat or on webcam?
When I first started to train as a Mistress I spent the entire first six months answering the phones and dealing with the rudiments of making appointments. The first thing I was told was, 'Don't get into a conversation with someone. Answer questions briefly so long as they don't get pervy and be friendly, cheerful and straight to the point. I found not getting into a conversation really difficult to begin with but when I realized I was booking a load of no shows I changed my tact and did as instructed. That is why I find a site such as this unsuitable for just doing what should just be a straightforward business. Perhaps I'm wrong but I will bet ya bottom dollar that most pro Mistresses will get less than 1% business from this site and probably waste a whole load of time.

Edited to add... thinking about it, if I was a pro Mistress and just coming to this site for a bit of banter and to chat to friends, I would probably let it be known that I was a pro Mistress so that people wouldn't bother me.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 5/5/2009 10:33:34 AM >

_____________________________

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 32

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 10:43:07 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

allthatjaz: I agree, absolutely, most people on this site are looking for a partner or an "affair" (sorry, hard to be not cynical if you consider the amount of married subs and the activities they are "interested" in), somebody who wants to book a session possibly would not ever look here.

But I think he didn't mean Mistresses advertising here but possibly mentioning that they are professionals, and then of course you got a fair bit of "I declare myself Mistress, now give me, your wallet..." types.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 33

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 10:47:34 AM

igor2003

Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think for the most part you are refering to the ladies in the UK. There were more ladies asking for tribute than there were those proclaiming to be pro. I know that there are a lot of people, both men and women, that don't see asking for tribute as being the same as being pro, and in some cases it IS different. A tribute CAN be something as simple as requiring the sub to draft a poem in the Domme's honor. More often than not, though, a tribute does (to me) mean $MONEY$, with their reasons for asking for a money tribute being anything from "to weed out the insincere" to "It's simple, I deserve it."

And to be fair, some pro Dommes ARE also lookng for lifestyle partners. This all is why I would be in favor of a filter being available to filter out anyone asking for a tribute or professing to be pro. Those looking for a pro or that are looking to pay tribue could set their filter one way. Those that are looking for a mutual enjoyment relationship can set their filters another way.

I seriously doubt that there are really all that many asking for tribute that actually get any significant amount. I think what we are seeing is simply one person seeing that another person asks for a tribute and assumes it must be working, so they try it themselves. Then it looks like it is working for even more people, so more people try it.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 34

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:07:35 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

I was just wondering... If you pay a tribute to a Domme but don't like the servie you received, are you entitled to a refund?

No you're not because likely, that means you didn't communicate your expectations of the session clearly enough before agreeing to the session.

If your expectations of the session included say "orgasm release" the Pro said "I don't care about your orgasm" and you went anyways...and were still pissed because you didn't get to cum...well that's on your.

This is just an example.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
(hoping to promote tribute "subs" everywhere...eat fresh)

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Post #: 35

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:13:45 AM

Bella1965

Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

G'afternoon all:

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater
I was simply trying to understand the logic behind it.

I didn't mean to be the least bit rude and apologize if my flippancy has offended anyone.

The point is that you don't have to understand it. That's the beauty of WIITWD. Each to their own, so long as all players involved consent. You weren't offensive. I gave up the futility of trying to wrap my head around others' kink years ago. Suffice to say; whatever works, works. The only person's head I concern myself with is my partner. Which is cluttered and dank, but interesting. I burrow in from time to time and get cozy. *snurts*

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to crumbledwater)

Post #: 36

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:16:34 AM

ukmale4u

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline

"I declare myself Mistress, now give me, your wallet..." types.

LadyConstanze ..your words exactly what i was getting at , and Igor im sure your right too one sees it others follow , see some agree lol

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 37

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:25:59 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ukmale4u

"I declare myself Mistress, now give me, your wallet..." types.

LadyConstanze ..your words exactly what i was getting at , and Igor im sure your right too one sees it others follow , see some agree lol

I just checked, the majority of them do seem to be pro-dommes, which I think is absolutely fine. In my book it seems much more honest to say it up front than springing it on somebody when they expect some type of private relationship.

Sometimes the odd profile pops up with "I expect... Gimme gimme...." I seriously doubt that they are having much success.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ukmale4u)

Post #: 38

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:27:56 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ukmale4u

"I declare myself Mistress, now give me, your wallet..." types.

LadyConstanze ..your words exactly what i was getting at , and Igor im sure your right too one sees it others follow , see some agree lol

It is supply and demand. Instead of bashing the women that do this, bash the sub men that keep the market alive by sending cash and gifts to total strangers. There is no way of knowing if these profiles demanding cash for consideration are duplicates by the same person or even men pretending to be women - they surely can't all be honest about their age and location and photos.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to ukmale4u)

Post #: 39

RE: Tribute Dommes - 5/5/2009 11:34:44 AM

MsDDom

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: ukmale4u

"I declare myself Mistress, now give me, your wallet..." types.

LadyConstanze ..your words exactly what i was getting at , and Igor im sure your right too one sees it others follow , see some agree lol

It is supply and demand. Instead of bashing the women that do this, bash the sub men that keep the market alive by sending cash and gifts to total strangers. There is no way of knowing if these profiles demanding cash for consideration are duplicates by the same person or even men pretending to be women - they surely can't all be honest about their age and location and photos.

Akasha

...see, that is the thing. the subs don't want to admit they are part of the problem...

_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...

... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 40

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