quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I think what concerns me here is some recent experiences of my own.  In a relationship where one partner may be abusive or having other problems, they will intentionally leave out very important information when asking others for their opinion as a means to get the answer they want.  I know there are many d-types on this site who are not the least bit like that, however, there are a lot who do use a lifestyle relationship as an excuse for being abusive, demeaning, etc.  Someone like that would post a very vague message like this to "prove" to their "submissive" that everyone agrees with him.  By leaving out the information, it becomes suspect.  Certainly, he could be leaving out the information because it is embarassing to him to admit someone may have failed him by cheating or whatever.  But typically abusive people like to present themselves to the "outside" as someone who is very kind and considerate, hence the "now I'm confused" poor me attitude. 

The fact that 3 pages have gone by and at least once on each page, someone has questioned about more details and the poster hasn't returned to give more details OR to comment on the advice given, to me sends off a red flag about the truth and accuracy of what was said.  After all, without having any idea of what occurred, nearly everyone has jumped on the "liars should be strung up" bandwagon. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: HottyBotty

My submissive recently lied to me and the lie has caused alot of confusion about how i curently feel about the relationship now

I was wondering how others have dealt with similiar problems and if you think lies in BDSM relationsips are more serious than in vanilla ones

quote:

ORIGINAL: TopChuck

I agree, LafayetteLady, that abuse is a problem.  Manipulative Dom/mes don't see the power exchange as a trade.  They see it as a justification for being abusive; a one way street, where they get power and don't owe anything in the exchange.  I don't think we are considering that, because what we have here is a briefly stated set of facts.

Our responses seem to have considered that we have a generality, rather than an exact repetition of all the aspects.  But generally lying in relationships can be discussed.

I don't think it's as much a matter of "liars should be strung up", as it is that the lying must be resolved, so it doesn't happen repeatedly.  And, to reiterate, the problem could easily be something the Dom/me has brought about or even directly caused.

We Dom/mes have to be adept at handling those matters.  And, we have to be smart enough to enlist the aid of our submissives in doing so.