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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 10:49:58 AM

SlaveBlutarsky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

I had an ex who used to threaten dressing me up all the time but never did. I think she just did that to see me roll my eyes so she'd have reason to slap me.

If she needed a reason, it must have been difficult choosing which one to use.

Are you insinuating that I'm anything less than the most obedient, docile, well mannered slave ever? Hrmph!

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 11:44:57 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Most of us have encountered prejudices because of the way we are wired, why on earth judge men who do want to live out their feminine side? That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.

I'm not so sure about that last part, LadyC. There's a difference when it comes to personal preference and compatibility. Otherwise, anybody and everybody who's kinky would be a perfect match for each other, at least in play. We know that's not the case.

I might not be compatible with somebody's kink, but there is a world of difference between saying "we are not compatible" or judging them for their preferences or needs. A lot of things are not for me, but they are still legitimate fetishes for others. My statement was less about compatibility and more about tolerance, I can't demand that my sadism is tolerated while not tolerating CDs, I don't have to have relationships with them due to compatibility reasons, but no need to judge.

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 11:59:27 AM

Venatrix

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I'm not insinuating anything. I have no problem coming right out and saying it.

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 12:10:33 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I might not be compatible with somebody's kink, but there is a world of difference between saying "we are not compatible" or judging them for their preferences or needs. A lot of things are not for me, but they are still legitimate fetishes for others. My statement was less about compatibility and more about tolerance, I can't demand that my sadism is tolerated while not tolerating CDs, I don't have to have relationships with them due to compatibility reasons, but no need to judge.

I don't believe I said anything about tolerance or saying it's an illegitimate fetish. It would, however, disqualify someone from a dynamic with Me. Just the same as My sadism would disqualify Me from someone who did not want pain as part of a D/s dynamic from their perspective.

I'm looking at the subject as compatibility to Me and My life. Not that it can't be a part of someone else's.

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 12:51:22 PM

LadyConstanze

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I think we might be saying the same thing. The thing you picked up on with "pot kettle black" was in my reply to Otter when he mentioned something about that it may be difficult to separate the good ones from the useless ones (meaning the ones who are just into cross dressing) and that's why I mentioned that it's hardly fair to judge them (i.e. calling them useless, even if they might not be of any use for most dommes as submissives) because as a subculture, we are judged enough without judging others for being different.

I know I wouldn't be compatible with 95% of all CDs, but I do have a lot of sympathy for them and know a lot of them, I understand some of the issues and prejudices they are faced with, they are trying to fit in as a fringe group in our fringe group, most of them feel lost enough as it is, so it was more a comment of "live and let live" when I said it wouldn't be fair if they are judged for their preference

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 1:58:58 PM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Sooooo....should I gather from the way the conversation went completely past my post that my hopes in this regard are futile? Or was it just dull?

The local philosophy appears to be that no hope is futile. Probably not wise to fish too hard for takers on specific kink lifestyle scenarios, however, given that this is what your profile is for. The problem in this thread is that there don't appear to be too many dommes posting this week who are heavily into feminization.

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RE: Turning the numbers - 5/12/2009 4:13:31 PM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Sooooo....should I gather from the way the conversation went completely past my post that my hopes in this regard are futile? Or was it just dull?

I wouldn't give up hope pinnipedster, not at all. If you see that femininity just like masculinity is something which exists in varying degrees within us all and is something which is generally projected outwards, by the same token there's also gender recognition and perception. Now gender recognition and perception is picking up those emotional cues and signals coming out of expressions of femininity or masculinity.

Gender has its seat in our brains and DNA system, it's encoded and so is the way we pick up on and perceive gender. It's how we are hardwired. All the dommes on this thread who aren't interested in feminization are so because it is something they cannot really relate to. It's how they are hardwired. It's just in the same way as you or better still I would feel a little less comfortable interacting with a woman who's heterosexual than one who is say bisexual simply over those emotional cues and signals. It's linked to sexual orientation, but not the same thing.

You could go back through this entire thread and ask what is male? What is female? What is it that makes you female, or for that matter male? Is it a penis? A vagina? Breasts? No, it's who you are and how you come across to other people. It's also how other people perceive you.

When all is said and done feminization is nothing more than refusing to pick up on some signals whilst encouraging others. It's like being forced to do something, it's an illusion. that someone can somehow make you more feminine. You see, you can go back through the thread and take a look at all the dommes who have posted here and you will see that they are all feminine, but they are all but they are all feminine in different ways. Now go back through them and try to find ways you can make them more feminine. You will find it's extremely difficult if not impossible.

It's the same with the guys. This is why I don't have too much faith in demographics and 'numbers', we are all individuals, and the fact that we are all when said and done individuals is reason enough why you should continue with your hopes.

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