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Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:26:35 AM   
kuteone


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline 		Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:38:29 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Quite personally, I think being put under "consideration" is just a way for a Dom to mark territory because he "might" want you, but then he "might" not want you.  In other words, to me it's BS. 

As a submissive you have just as much right to put a Dom under consideration as the Dom has to put you under consideration.  This is a time to get to know each other and decide if you are compatible.  Apparently, if this Dom is still looking while you are not, then perhaps YOU should reconsider if YOU want to even be with this Dom.  That you are checking to see when he's on this site just proves that he has not earned your trust.  So why are you even considering this Dom? 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 5/11/2009 7:49:26 AM >

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:44:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't put people "under consideration" myself. However, until I meet, spend time with, and really get to know someone........that really is the general mindset. For BOTH parties!

You do not know if he is the right one for you either. You are essentially, considering him.

Why should anyone, dominant or submissive, only consider one person at a time? The more people you are communicating with the better the odds of finding someone that fits perfectly.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:53:56 AM   
kitteneedsmate


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline 		i was not "checking' on Him. i was followin instruction to send him the messages from any whho contact me  and i saw that he was online as His profile was in the featured box.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:58:41 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Do not assume that being on this site means a person is actively looking for someone. Since joining this site I have gotten to know a lot of really awesome people. Almost all of those people, I maintain contact with, through the collarme email feature.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kitteneedsmate)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 7:58:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		How do you know he was still searching? 90% of My mail on here has nothing to do with searching, friends keeping in contact, people asking for advice, etc.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to kitteneedsmate)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:02:02 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		 This man is controlling your messages??
..Have you met him?..what is he considering..?
HOW?
what is your experience?/ his??

Checking to see if he is on site can also be
 BEING SAFE..
which is a right


YOU ARE BOTH UNDER CONSIDERATION so you can check his integrity..and actions too

MANY consider a Dom  / sub and stay on line/./
They may have several under consideration due to checking out fakers etc..or for specific positions..or be phoney players..
or chat...have a chat room they maintain..have groups they stay in touch with and many friends...

and ON LINE texting is not a relationship...it is the beginning of a POSSIBLITY
 
I talk of consideration AFTER we have met/....talked..negotiated..  after they have been with me  at least 3 times...then they are being considered..
after action and interaction......
we all have our ways

 
Best of luck...keep asking questions love
 
GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 5/11/2009 8:07:51 AM >

(in reply to kitteneedsmate)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:05:25 AM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  

IF I was in that situation, then no, it would not bother me at all. Of course, my thinking may be different than yours. In my mind, it would not be my place to concern myself with what he was or was not doing. Everyone reacts differently though.

Allison

_____________________________

Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:06:54 AM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		I was falsely accused of seeking someone else because I continued to maintain a profile on CM.  It is not an accurate or fair assumption to make.

_____________________________

Owned heart and soul, bound to MZ forever.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:08:16 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitteneedsmate

i was not "checking' on Him. i was followin instruction to send him the messages from any whho contact me  and i saw that he was online as His profile was in the featured box.


Okay, but even then, you do have every right to consider whether you want this Dom or not.  I have mentored several newbie submissives your age.  What they fear the most is that time is passing them by and if they do not get together with this Dom, they will never ever get a chance to do the things of their dreams.  I've tried to explain that although there are more women than men in their 50s, 60s, and 70s because many men die at an earlier age than women, there are are many more kinky men than women of those years.  In other words, a female submissive does not have to settle for less than she requires.  It's a "buyers" market for her. 

From what I have seen of this consideration stuff, it's a way for a Dom to mark a newbie and keep her to himself while he looks around to see if he can find something better.  It seems to me that the Dom gets all the advantage out of consideration, and the submissive is left wondering if her "option" will be picked up or whether the Dom will let it expire.  As LaTigresse has said, why don't you consider this Dom while you look around at others?  You might find a better, more compatible, more fun one. 

(in reply to kitteneedsmate)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:10:53 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Fox and I are on the site daily, on our couples and individual profile. Often while in the same room as one anther while we are doing other things. Neither of us are searching, nor do we worry about it. Of you see someone on and assume he is searching then you have a lack of trust in him. You are on as well, checking and sending him the messages of those who contact you, arent you? Are you searching while you are there?  And how is he supposed to get your messages if he doesnt log on to check mail and see if youve sent anything?

Just because someone is on doesnt mean they are hunting for a replacement for the one they have. I cruise looking for interesting forum posts, ideas for photos and interesting people to chat with. Maybe you should take a look at why you automatically assume he is searching rather than jumping on him for being online. Or, ask him if he is still looking. You dont trust him, and if you cant trust him you arent going to get anywhere.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to tiinkerbell)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 8:13:11 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		DOMs are men...

"green green  the grass is green on the far side of the hill"



but often turns out to be yellow or brown
 
GQ

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 9:34:21 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Just being on this site doesn't necessarily mean looking.  I am here, I am not looking. 
But that consideration stuff is just bs in my view.  It is marking territory, shoving you into a box and cutting you off from someone who might catch your eye.
Phhht.
Meet me, see if we connect, play with me, see if we work well, date me.. and if we fit, yes we are considering each other until we both say.. This is right.  I don't want you to see others (if monogamy is the dynamic), or if poly, I want you to be mine
Kyst

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 10:45:19 AM   
KoolnSassy


Posts: 65
Joined: 5/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


When you were told not to have any more contact with other men - did you agree? Was that agreement complimented with an agreement on the D's part that he follow the same rule? If not, I'd recommend discussing it further, expressing that what he's doing bothers you. Sometimes we make assumptions that what the sub is told to do will also be done by the D. Under consideration means whatever you both agree it means. There's no set definition. Right now is the time to learn if you compliment one another, not the time to attempt to contort yourself into his vision or visa versa.

_____________________________

If you don't know what you're doing, why do you think I know?

KoolnSassy

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 11:10:58 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am on this site almost every day. I am 100% not searching i am here for the fourms. My profile clearly states i am happily collared. Does your Dom's profile say he is activtely searching? Is is set to just friends? (as mine is).
If he does not want you to see other men you should ask him not to see other women since it bothers you. If he refuses then maybe he is not the right Dom for you. You need to talk with him about this.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to KoolnSassy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 11:16:32 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		If you are told about it and you accept it, then you make your own bed.
You either submit/accept the set up, or you go elsewhere.
 
If they don't inform you and are still looking without having been clear, it's up to you whether you accept that type of behaviour or not.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 11:28:28 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It is not uncommon for a Dom to want his female sub to have no contact with other men while he continues to have contact with anyone he chooses to.  As others have stated, there are plenty of types of emails which have nothing to do with looking for someone else.

If you are under mutual consideration then hopefully you have talked about whether or not your relationship will be monogamous and what that means to the two of you.  When I was recently under consideration and asked the Master if he was poly he said no, but then went on to say that the greatest gift I could ever give him was to bring home a woman for him to have sex with.  Obviously our definitions of monogamy and being poly did not match.  If your definition of monogamy is a Dom who will never exchange emails with any woman but you then you may have a very hard time finding a Dom.  If it is that you are the only one he ever plays with then your chances are better.


_____________________________



(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 11:34:49 AM   
ohsocheekyslave


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2009
Status: offline 		as others have said you really need to talk about this - perhaps the fact that you feel you can't should be more of a question in your mind than is he actually seeking others?

Many are on this site to make friends and to just have a natter with those that they find intriguing, make them laugh or share the same values!

Good luck - and talk to him!


_____________________________

May the sun shine on your soul and smile!

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 12:16:24 PM   
sparkelfairy


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/27/2009
Status: offline 		If you feel this dom is on the site everyday searching for some one else, it may be just be your own way of telling yourself this isn't right for you.  I am underconsideration by a dom right now and one of the first things we discussed was if the were other subs in his life or would there be.  He personally does not want the drama of two subs fighting for their dom. 
I say ask him why he's on here and if you don't like the answer you have the right to move on. 

(in reply to ohsocheekyslave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/11/2009 12:36:15 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Why does being online mean looking? If I am not owned by that person or vice versa then what they do is their business. Until we have agreed on a relationship goal and set guidelines under consideration doesn't mean a thing to me.

Also, people come to this site for lots of reasons. I like to perv profiles and meet new people as well as interact on the forum.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 20
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