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RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 5/12/2009 2:35:40 PM   
janiebelle


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline 		FR

Seems like this Dom is trying to take you off the market and keep his options open so that he may "trade up" if he finds someone he prefers.
j

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/20/2009 12:03:55 AM   
MasterPslilfuk


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

FR

Seems like this Dom is trying to take you off the market and keep his options open so that he may "trade up" if he finds someone he prefers.
j



Now THAT sounds familiar -
"you are under consideration girl" and then a month later his profile is gone, he says he will not be online anymore and he starts a new profile.

(in reply to janiebelle)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/20/2009 7:19:55 AM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I got sick and tired of being given orders by men who didnt know me, had not demonstrated interest in me as a whole person, and who I had never men.  I  also think "under consideration" when you have never met is BS.  WTF does that mean?  Is there an vanilla equivalent?  if you had a  vanilla friend and and she  met such a man on Match.com, andd he told her he didnt want her having contact with other men assuming they had not even met, what would you tell her?

Ill bet youd tell her to tell him to get lost.



Why should he restrict you when he doesnt even know you? 

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/20/2009 8:50:06 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I'm going to disagree with you.

1. He was online.  That may or not mean that he is looking.  But the correct course is to tell him that you noticed him online, and see what he says.  Posting it here is the act of someone who is insecure.

2.  Have you clarified with him that you seek mono?  Since you are a slave, he might think that he has a right to do as he jolly well pleases.  Both of you share the responsibility to clarify what you want.

3. You have posted to this thread from two separate profiles.  Why do you have more than one profile?  Is it because he monitors one and you're trying to escape his scrutiny?

4. He told you to take yourself off the market.  Neither one of your two profiles state that you're unavailable.  Why?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/20/2009 4:20:53 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		Depends on the agreement between the two of Yyou.  What did Yyou both agree to?  At any rate, i am on here pretty much every day.....to check & sometimes post on the forums & to keep up with friends through cmail.  i am not looking, my profile says i'm happily owned & collared and i'm actively seeking Friends Only.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/20/2009 4:40:32 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


Sounds like he's marking his territory..geez, why doesn't he just pee on you?....lol

Seriously, maybe he's just testing the waters by saying you are not to talk to others.   Truth be told, you are both free to keep searching until a committment is made.  I never understood the whole, under consideration, under protection, thing any way. 

In the past I've had those that had one, maybe half a conversation with me, then come on and ask if I am talking to others.  I was truthful and told them yes I was.  As many people on here that flake on you?  How many times have you been talking to someone, thought there was a connection, and he just went poof?  Wouldn't even respond to your emails or voicemail?  Stopping and starting all the time is tiresome.  Until I felt an emotional connection with someone, why would I hitch my wagon to someone I don't even know? 

Bottom line, don't stop until you find the one that right for you.

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 11:24:21 AM   
lilgirl2008


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		kuteone,

Well I would ask him outright if he is still searching for someone else. If the answer is yes, then only you can decide if that is a situation you want to be in. I am never afraid to speak my mind to a dominant especially in the beginning. Well i personally don't believe in being placed under considertaion. It is kinda like renting a house before buying it. If a dom wants to see others while in the beginning before we have decided the be exclusive then I reserve the right to see others as well. Until a collar is placed around my neck, I still believe that I have certain rights. It is all about what you and the dom want. Some people have the idea that a dominant does not have to tell you what they are doing. I don't adhere to that line of thinking. If i am giving them my body, and in this day and age with all the diseases out there..it is gosh darn my right to know what he is doing with his.

I wish you luck with this..it is a tough place to be.

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 11:39:17 AM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		From my view point I may have x many slaves I have interest in. BUT I am not going to send each of them a check to get here and then see what happens. Seriously: the first two slaves on my door step, who lilke whom I am, and whom are serious about it can accept the two collars here waiting.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to lilgirl2008)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 12:50:41 PM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

OP, I'm going to disagree with you.

1. He was online.  That may or not mean that he is looking.  But the correct course is to tell him that you noticed him online, and see what he says.  Posting it here is the act of someone who is insecure.

2.  Have you clarified with him that you seek mono?  Since you are a slave, he might think that he has a right to do as he jolly well pleases.  Both of you share the responsibility to clarify what you want.

3. You have posted to this thread from two separate profiles.  Why do you have more than one profile?  Is it because he monitors one and you're trying to escape his scrutiny?

4. He told you to take yourself off the market.  Neither one of your two profiles state that you're unavailable.  Why?


I'm glad to see someone else caught this, I was beginning to wonder.....

As for simply being on CM meaning that someone is automatically "looking", well, that's a false generalization. Many of us are here simply for the forums and friends. Like me.....

P.S. Anyone else notice that the OP was from 5 weeks ago?


_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 2:20:42 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		i noticed the original post was from 5 weeks ago....

but i wanted to say anyway that the fact that someone shows as being online, on the site, can be decieving.  i'm the only one who uses this computer.  i leave my name logged in all the time, so technically it shows me as online here 24/7.  and i am certain i am not the only one who does this.

kitten

(in reply to Rainfire)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 7:14:55 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds


quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


nope, it doesn't bother me at all. why? well, i don't buy into the under consideration bullshit; you either want me or you don't, end of story!


I don't buy into the "under consideration" bs either.  When a sub and I are getting to know each other, that's all it is.  If I decide I want him the dynamic changes.


_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/22/2009 8:07:20 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


It would not bother me that he was still on this site because by the time I was placed under consideration, which I view as the equivalent of going steady, I would know whether or not he's monogamous or polyamorous.  I would not assume that because he's online he's still searching.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 6/24/2009 10:43:12 PM   
penitentialarts


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/2/2009
Status: offline 		>Quite personally, I think being put under "consideration"
>is just a way for a Dom to mark territory because he "might"
>want you, but then he "might" not want you.  In other words,
>to me it's BS.

I agree.  Back when I got involved in my local scene (mid-90s), you didn't hear all this stuff about "collars of consideration," "collars of protection," formalized "consideration," etc.  They are just fancy ways of saying "I'm still thinking about it."

- Jesse

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 7/2/2009 3:25:31 PM   
inara67


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline
i have recently been placed under consideration and wonder about some of the same things, I personally do not feel that full consideration can be placed on a slave or sub when there are others being considered and truely feel when two agree upon consideration both are condering and should both give 100% to that. although who am i truely to say what should and should not be.


inara67

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 7/2/2009 6:20:29 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


what are we considering? i think it is just a crock. i mean all potential relationships are under consideration in the beginning until you reach a point where you both realize this is what you want. so why bother stating what is already implied? furthermore, it lends itself to the whole online culture and i don't know how you feel about that. people that are dating don't run around wearing a tee shirt. why do you need a slogan? most adults know how to articulate when they're not interested or unavailable if asked. and while this person is considering, are they speaking with others? also, do they have your name listed on their profile?

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 55
This is important - 7/2/2009 9:48:54 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline 		I started a thread about this called, "Under Consideration".   This will summarize my understanding and reaction..  Comment in public or private.  I believe this is important.  If I am wrong I want to know why.  If you agree I want to know why .  My hand hurst after writing it.
P= Phase
P1 Courtship
P2 'Dating'
P3 Relationship
P4 Collar

Call these Phases what you want.  These phase descriptions might turn off some as they are socially accepted as 'nilla terms.  Forget that for a moment. . . .

Courtship the initial butterfly stage.  First few real meetings(online or off)
Dating the introduction phase.  Getting to know each other, sharing, exploring learning
Relationship a mutual agreement when a commitment is made.  This is much more than a play partner
Collar  Lifelong/you are now property/marriage/mindless toy
(Change the terms to suit your fancy.  Doms you can say, "I guided her to make a commitment to me"  Subs/slaves "through service I assisted him in knowing my commitment was there").  These are the steps relationships follow.  I am not here to bicker words.

A Dom places you UC prior to P1.  His desire is to remove you from the market.  He knows someone better might come along.  He is a coward and insecure - Run like hell.

UC too early in the game is a tool an insecure DOM uses to place you in the warehouse to effectively end your ability to make informed and intelligent decisions.  The DOM in my opinion has every right to place the sub/daughter/slave UC.   From what I have recently learned(extensive personal discussions) to me this would be a very important phase where the sub/slave must demonstrate their worth and value while the decision is made to I want to collar.  IMO a UC is necessary P3-P4.

If I/we were actively seeking I understand why insecure DOMs would not want you to have dialogue with me. Such competition would not be good; guppies do know better than to swim with sharks.
Clarify and Rehash:
UC is a tool a DOM used more often than not from behind a computer from a false position of authority to attempt to gain power(control) over a situation which makes the dom uncomfortable due to competition.  This often if not always because of personal weakness/insecurity. 

*If the sub wishes to be placed UC/rush the relationship the DOM should demonstrate guidance why things should not be rushed.

I am not taking issue with a DOM treating slave like property, making demands or commanding respect.  I am not attempting to infringe on the right of the DOM to direct his sub.  There are recognized and accepted necessary steps one must follow when the desire is present to build a serious very long term relationship.  Going around or over them does not make you a DOM.

Imagine you goto the store to buy much needed groceries the sign on the door reads: Underconsideration of new management takeover which may or may not happen soon - store closed. As a valued customer you are to sit in the back of the store and shop no where else until management arrives at a decision.  Pick a number you will eventually be notified.  BS right?

UC must be mutual.  Even if the dom does not seek the opinion of the sub individual attention and guidance needs to be given so the sub understands while the best decision is made for both.  The DOM can not shop during this phase if the intention is a healthy relationship.

-Esinn

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 7/2/2009 10:49:44 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		oops

< Message edited by daddysliloneds -- 7/2/2009 10:53:14 PM >

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Doms still seeking while considering you - 7/6/2009 6:32:06 PM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuteone

Jsut curious......does it bother you  that after you are placed under consideration by a Dom/Master and you are told you are not to have any more contact with other men  that the Dom is still on this site daily or more often  still searching??  


That is just not cool. An indiviual who requires , Oh Hell NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to kuteone)
Profile   Post #: 58
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