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For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:05:37 PM

stella41b

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I'm not sure if I'm the only one here who is getting a little more peed off by this special brand of sanctimonious neonazism that appears to be spreading through this and other sites like some sort of nefarious cancer.

I'm writing about the constant bitching, carping, whining and bellyaching over who is a fake, who is a wannabe, who has the bogus profiles and so on, and so on, and so on..

.. and on and on and on.... like a stuck record, over and over again.

It's getting tedious, it's negative, and it goes right against the grain of WIITWD.

You see for one thing, you don't know whether someone is fake or not. (You here is generic).

At best you have an opinion based on a groundless accusation.

An opinion that nobody in particular is really all that bothered about.

What is it to you whether someone is fake or not? Does their presence cause you any emotional distress? Are they hurting you? Upsetting you?

Just what is it about someone you feel is fake that gets to you?

And what makes you more real than them?

Your opinion?

Yeah right.

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Post #: 1

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:10:32 PM

ShaharThorne

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Thank goodness you're here, Stella. A voice of reasoning within the muck that I have trouble understanding.

Shahar

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Post #: 2

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:12:51 PM

darklight17

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Joined: 3/30/2009
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*scratches head* So this is actually complaining ABOUT complaining? Let them eat cake.

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Post #: 3

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:18:03 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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First off all "wiitwd" isn't what "we" all do...gawd I hate that term with a passion...anyway....

So they complain..big deal...delete or ignore and move on. That's what I used to do when I was searching. I would just shrug my shoulders, say to myself, not compatible and then simply move onto the next profile. It's online. Why get your panties in a wad?

These days when I see that in a profile I just still shrug my shoulders, maybe shake my head a little and snicker and think that they still have some growing up to do in life and again I just ignore them and move on.

(in reply to darklight17)

Post #: 4

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:20:53 PM

DarkSteven

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This is a free site. I pay nothing but have fun here. Plus I expect that I will find a sub woman here to spend my life with.

That's a heckuva lot for free. I'm not gonna let a few fake profiles bother me, if that's the price I have to pay for this.

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Post #: 5

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:21:43 PM

VioletGray

Posts: 359
Joined: 10/29/2007
From: Baltimore, MD
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Well, if I had to take a stab at it,

I would guess that rarely are opinions "groundless." It's a judgement call. There's no absolute way to know for sure who is and isn't fake, but each person makes their own determination, and they are entitled to their opinion.

I've never seen people get upset over fake profiles really, but I have seen them get annoyed. The reason is because this is a social website, and human beings are social creatures, so misrepresenting ones self can be aggravating to others, especially if they suspect so.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 6

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:22:44 PM

AngelGeena

Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
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It seems to me I see alot of people complaining about others being "fakes" because they don't get a favorable response or possibly no reponse at all. How this makes someone a fake is beyond me. Rude, possibly. But fake, no. I agree with you Stella, there are alot of people that whine and throw this word out way too much.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:23:04 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
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From: Jersey
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I guess we all have feelings and opinions on what is good bad, wrong, right, healthy, unhealthy etc. And I don't think we should make an effort to NOT express those opinions.

But I think what you're talking about comes from something else....I think that people sometimes go through stages in their lives and relationships where deep down underneath the outward display of pomp what they really feel is unsure...unsure of their value, unsure about their place in bdsm, unsure of what bdsm is to them, unsure whether or not it's real or an illusion etc etc. And I think in an effort to make ourselves feel more secure in our choices and beliefs about all this stuff, we need to tear any and all opposing views down, so that they don't begin to threaten our own "reality".

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 8

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:24:15 PM

darklight17

Posts: 103
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

This is a free site. I pay nothing but have fun here. Plus I expect that I will find a sub woman here to spend my life with.

That's a heckuva lot for free. I'm not gonna let a few fake profiles bother me, if that's the price I have to pay for this.

This man is wise. Listen to this man!

_____________________________

Philosopher's favorite t-shirt.. Front- Nietzsche: God is dead. Back- God: Nietzsche is dead.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 8:51:56 PM

Joseff

Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

I'm not going on a lot of information here, just assuming the anti-fake complaints are in the profiles (because I really don't read them much). I suspect that the complainers have been in contact with people, only to find out they were not what they represented. Perhaps after a couple of these events, they're sensitive and judgemental. Just a theory.

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Post #: 10

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:25:32 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm not sure if I'm the only one here who is getting a little more peed off by this special brand of sanctimonious neonazism that appears to be spreading through this and other sites like some sort of nefarious cancer.

I'm writing about the constant bitching, carping, whining and bellyaching over who is a fake, who is a wannabe, who has the bogus profiles and so on, and so on, and so on..

.. and on and on and on.... like a stuck record, over and over again.

It's getting tedious, it's negative, and it goes right against the grain of WIITWD.

You see for one thing, you don't know whether someone is fake or not. (You here is generic).

At best you have an opinion based on a groundless accusation.

An opinion that nobody in particular is really all that bothered about.

What is it to you whether someone is fake or not? Does their presence cause you any emotional distress? Are they hurting you? Upsetting you?

Just what is it about someone you feel is fake that gets to you?

And what makes you more real than them?

Your opinion?

Yeah right.

I get the feeling you aren't talking about profiles, but the people who come on the boards to bitch (or boast) about all the "fakes" and how they are a better, "realer" dom/master/sub/slave than those around them. It is quite annoying. I have noticed that it tends to come from people who have difficulty accepting that someone simply isn't compatible with them. I recently saw the profile of a man on this site that I met on another site and went on one date with. His opening line here is how he is tired of the "fakes". On that one date, all he did was bitch about his ex wife. Very big turn off. I imagine it doesn't occur to him that all us "fakes" found our first meeting with him to be so off putting that we don't want to bother pursuing it further.

When I see profiles talking about "fakes" or how they are "real" and looking for same, I automatically pass them by. I know they have some preconceived notion of what is "right" and I'm not likely to meet their "requirements" (nor would I want to). There are so many different ways of "being" that I can't say there are many who are really fakes. I can say there are some that I hope ARE fakes because what they write in their profile is just way to frightening to conceive as "real" (i.e. the one who wanted to have primarily on line, blackmail and possibly ruin your life and have you subject yourself to unbearable pain on cam comes to mind). Those that live their life different than mine, are nothing more than that, different than mine. Should they say I'm "fake", I take it with a grain of salt and feel pity for their closed mindedness in a lifestyle based on open mindedness.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 11

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:26:51 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
You see for one thing, you don't know whether someone is fake or not. (You here is generic).

At best you have an opinion based on a groundless accusation.

This is not entirely accurate, at least in my case. I happen to know there are companies hiring what are affectionately known as "spambots" -- people who are willing to place ads on dating sites using pictures of webcam models and then try to drive people to the webcam site to buy a show.

This is a quote pulled from the website of one such company. I got this information when I answered a classified ad for a "job" that indicated I might be able to make money by generating sales leads. Note the underlined portions.

Ok, so how do I advertise and make a sale?

We make sales through chatting with the customer on instant messaging programs like Yahoo Messenger. You place ads on other web sites and include your messenger contact information. The potential customer contacts you through this messenger name and then you begin the process of selling the [webcam show site] credits.

So what's the best way to get the potential customer to message me?

You are going to create profiles and ads pretending to be a cam model on [webcam show site] for entertainment purposes. Potential customers will see your ads and want to view you on cam. When you are talking to potential customers on IM you are the cam girl.

Ok, where do I place an ad?

The simple answer is anywhere and everywhere you can. There are literally tens of thousands of sites that allow you to post an ad, profile or video for free. You can create and post a profile on a dating site, you can place an ad on a classified type site, you can enter a local chat room and the list goes on.

A typical spam bot ad includes a line that reads something like this:

I’m on Yahoo Messenger my screen name is XXXXXXXXX so hit me up so we can get started.

Armed with this information, I'd say that 99% of all ads with such a line in the profile are going to be fake. Other profiles that don't include this information may also be fake. If the girl mentions she only wants online sessions or is willing to do cam sessions in her profile, I'm not going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to chalk the profile up as faux and move on. Heck, if the photo looks too good to be true (ex. professional backdrop), then chances are good it isn't real.

quote:

What is it to you whether someone is fake or not? Does their presence cause you any emotional distress? Are they hurting you? Upsetting you?

Just what is it about someone you feel is fake that gets to you?

My time is valuable. I don't appreciate attempts to entice me into wasting it. It's also frustrating to see an attractive woman's photo, read her profile and feel the first flicker of hope that I might have stumbled onto someone compatible, and then at the bottom see the YIM ID and discover that my time has been wasted by a spambot.

quote:

And what makes you more real than them?

I'm looking for a relationship, not trying to make money by selling an unattainable fantasy.

I do wish CM would institute a better screening system. I'm on another dating-slash-social networking site that allows users to decide whether or not a photo, profile, or journal entry is against the Community Guidelines. It's similar to the Report feature here except that if a user gets too many flags, the entire account is permanently frozen. It also works for photos, which CM's does not. The photo mods are doing their best, but I doubt they have the time to run every photo uploaded through TinEye.com to see if it's really of a porn model.

However, I'm not going to whine all over the boards about it. I'll agree, that sort of thing does get irritating. I understand the impetus behind it, though.

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(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 12

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:34:02 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

SylverApLeanan:

I had completely forgotten about those! Of course, as I am looking for a man, I think it makes it easier for me to forget about them. I've never seen them with guys. I just didn't think of the "bots" that IM all over the place. What a smarmy (is that a real word) way to make a buck.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 13

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:36:08 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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From: Hell
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There are spambots for guys but they stick mostly to the gay cam shows. And yes, smarmy is a word.

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Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 14

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:39:52 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Ah, well, as I'm not a gay man, I can see where I don't find them! I thought it was a word, but it's late, I've taken my meds for my back and not really in total clear mind. But I'm clear enough to repeat, bots are smarmy. I've never come across a profile, but I can see how disappointing it would be to get to the end and see that. Bright side though is the only time wasted was reading the profile. Better than meeting someone and finding out they are really not who they represented themself to be.

I'm optimistic though. I think when the time is right, each of us will find that great compatible person that will make us eternally happy. I have to think that way because the opposite is just too depressing.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:42:39 PM

ShellyD

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Joined: 3/27/2007
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It seems to me that the majority of people who write to complain about 'fakes' are the new and/or ill informed with unattainable expectations.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 16

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:44:45 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Better than meeting someone and finding out they are really not who they represented themself to be. (Been there, done that, hated the t-shirt.)

I'm optimistic though. I think when the time is right, each of us will find that great compatible person that will make us eternally happy. I have to think that way because the opposite is just too depressing.

I've more or less given up on it. I have come to realize I am the rarest of rare birds. I have found the one person on the planet who wants the same things I want in a realationship. Unfortunately, he's on the D side of the kneel.

There is not one single woman in the world who is compatible with me. *shrug* C'est la vie. At least I can get some amusing conversations here.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 17

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:49:57 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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Presuming we're eliminating actual fraudulent accounts from the issue, one person's "fake" is another person's fantastic fit. The globe of WIITWD rests upon the cradle of compatibility, not universal parameters, rules and ways. The people normally crying about fakes are those who fail to realize this...essentially becoming a certain kind of "fake" of their very own.

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Post #: 18

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:57:27 PM

ZenDragoness

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

Dear stella41b,

thank you for your words.

The fake discussion is a discussion that is foreign to me. It was the same in left wing politics: everybody was always searching for a snitch. Or in buddism: has somebody eaten meat?

So thank you for you well put words.

Ruth

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Post #: 19

RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 9:59:08 PM

ZenDragoness

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

Try to learn to screen for and by yourself.

Collarme is not your father and mother, they do not have to install a "better screening system".

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(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 20

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