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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 12:03:46 PM

Kaiel

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It works for Me and my boy.

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 12:10:42 PM

YoungBlondeSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex

can marriage and this life mix.

i believe, wholeheartedly, that it can. i know quite a few people within D/s who have been married. Obviously, like vanilla marriages, some work and some don't. i'm fairly certain, however, that it may be more difficult to begin with a vanilla relationship and then gravitate towards a D/s relationship since for so long things were "equal" between partners and it might create some ill will towards each other. i've never known anyone to do this so maybe it does work for some couples. If so, rock on. i know that i would like to be married to my Owner/Master but it's not a prerequisite. But right now i'm just working on the finding an Owner/Master part of it.

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 1:23:19 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex

can marriage and this life mix.

It can. Like most relationship questions, the answer to this depends on the individuals involved and the circumstances surrounding the situation of introduction of the topic of the "life". For myself, I was 15 years into a marriage and thought that adding a defined structure in the form of D/s might be the one factor that could rescue a floundering couple. It didn't and it didn't for many reasons: she knew I my interest in D/s online, she knew that I had spoken to submissive women, she remained hung-up on sexual frequency and its relevance to our lives, she did not want to give up her control of the relationship which she'd built over the years, she could not face the fact that I would not play her "Alan Alda" anymore, etc, etc..

That was MY situation then and how it came about. Take a couple like Steel and his wife or take Knight of Mists and his wife alendra and their partner kyra or take Merc and his wife/slave beth...all good examples of a varied approach to the "life" and all examples of varying ways that the "life" was brought into...or came along with...their marriage. Though each and every relationship is different, I know that if I choose to marry again, it will either be with the D/s dynamic already in place or I won't even be IN the relationship.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 5/14/2009 1:24:58 PM >

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 5:44:22 PM

antipode

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quote:

can marriage and this life mix.

The problem with six word questions is that they can generally be interpreted in seven different ways. Do you mean can you be married to your dom / sub? Or can you be married and have a dom / sub on the side? Or can you have a dom /sub and be married on the side?

Follow me? Generally, a bit of background is helpful in answering a question. It is more civilized, as well...

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 6:45:31 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex

can marriage and this life mix.

If that's the only thing you have in common, the life-style, I wouldn't give it much chance for survival, just like a vanilla marriage only based on sex won't work. A marriage or even a lasting relationship requires a lot more!

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 8:39:56 PM

BrokenSaint

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I certainly hope it is. Things like marriage generally depend more upon the individuals involved rather than their fetishes.

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Post #: 26

RE: need help - 5/14/2009 11:24:11 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Im so glad you asked me that question. Marriage and Nothing mixes. I hope that clears up any misconceptions that you may have had.

BadOne

you mean...i am really NOT happily married to my Master and just never knew it?
*sob*

Thanks for wizzing on my parade

Something like that. come back in 5 more years and then say that to me. Then I might believe you!

I truly wish everyone the best in their relationship but with the divorce rate around 50% I dont see it happening. and I assume the other 50 are thinking about it.

BadOne

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RE: need help - 5/14/2009 11:27:04 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

can marriage and this life mix.

The problem with six word questions is that they can generally be interpreted in seven different ways. Do you mean can you be married to your dom / sub? Or can you be married and have a dom / sub on the side? Or can you have a dom /sub and be married on the side?

Follow me? Generally, a bit of background is helpful in answering a question. It is more civilized, as well...

how come the other 20 or so posters got it??? and you didnt. or are you just being contrary

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RE: need help - 5/15/2009 6:11:36 AM

SirJ40

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Yes.

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RE: need help - 5/15/2009 7:26:53 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

can marriage and this life mix.

The problem with six word questions is that they can generally be interpreted in seven different ways. Do you mean can you be married to your dom / sub? Or can you be married and have a dom / sub on the side? Or can you have a dom /sub and be married on the side?

Follow me? Generally, a bit of background is helpful in answering a question. It is more civilized, as well...

how come the other 20 or so posters got it??? and you didnt. or are you just being contrary

There's no idea of their situation. OK, it might be straightforward, or y'all might have just emphatically told the person it's fine to fuck around on their spouse, cos it's BDSM and that's ok.

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RE: need help - 5/15/2009 8:32:15 AM

SailingBum

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HUH can I mix gin and tonic??? You come up with "it's ok to screw your neighbor"? what kinda bull shit answer is that. BRB gotta check to see what phase the moon is in.

BadOne

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Post #: 31

RE: need help - 5/15/2009 8:58:06 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

HUH can I mix gin and tonic??? You come up with "it's ok to screw your neighbor"? what kinda bull shit answer is that. BRB gotta check to see what phase the moon is in.

BadOne

I think the original question is quite vague, I assumed he's asking "Does it work to practise BDSM with your husband/wife"? That's what I read into it and most others did, but it is actually quite a valid point that it could mean as well "Married, but want to BDSM with somebody else?"

Btw, I agree with your take of 50% of all marriages, I'm happily unmarried, works great, we both know we could up and leave at any time, so we're putting more effort in (he doesn't agree and keeps dropping heavy hints), I actually think that little certificate often works against marriage, because people tend to take each other for granted and stop trying.

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