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RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 10:42:51 AM   
whimzgirl


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		Sir,

I think my answer will be similar to what you've heard from the other subs/slaves here but maybe with a little twist - my slave name is gabby for a specific reason! 

I have always been submissive by nature but have had to fight against what modern society expects intelligent women to become.  Until recently, I would (sometimes unconsciously) submit to whatever male was dominant to me at the time - be it employer, associate, or lover - all the while beating myself up internally for doing it.  I did not think I should be acting that way even though deep inside I found satisfaction and happiness in the act of submission.

In my current relationship with My Master I am happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been in my life - and I'm nearly 43 so there's a been a fair amount of living I've done.  He accepts my submission for what it is -- a beautiful and cherished gift.  He understands my values and holds nearly the same exact ones.  I believe that the man is the head of the house and as such makes the decisions.  A truly good Master will learn enough about His slave to know how to fulfill her while still maintaining His dominance and authority over her and His house.  Without the dominance the submissive ends up being nervous and unsure.  I have spent a large majority of my life around men who did not know how to embrace what I had to offer and as a result I have spent many years deeply unhappy and confused. 

When did I know I was submissive?  My submissive nature is part of my DNA and not something I can change - it was always there.  I refuse to bury it any longer and feel like something is wrong with me because I want this type of life.  I can't really tell you when I was "ready" to embrace my submissive nature in full but much of my ability to blossom into my true potential is My Master's doing.  He has given me permission to be myself.  He gives me a direction and a safe place to land when I don't quite hit the mark.  I truly believe finding My Master was destiny and there was no way I would not be drawn to Him eventually.  Nature needed to work on me to make me ready to accept His teachings and wisdom.

I don't believe submission is something you develop if it doesn't already live within you in some form.  You can't force it on yourself or on others.  You will end up with someone who fights it every inch of the way and will not only be unhappy themselves but make all those around unhappy as well.  However, true submission is only possible when the trust with your Dom/Master is impeccable.  That journey takes considerable time and effort on both parts.  But, I'm here as a shining example that it is so worth the effort.  I am living a life now that I never imagined was possible.  I feel free and content.

I wish you well in your journey and thank you for asking this girl's opinion.

Respectfully,

gabby

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 10:57:32 AM   
yummystuff


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline 		when i was a little girl, my Kens used to tie up my Barbies and engage them in tit torture play.  i knew even then that many people wouldn't understand or accept what i was doing, and kept it very quiet....  i knew i was ready once i hit puberty   it's just finding the right person that's difficult!

(in reply to whimzgirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 2:39:32 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I knew I was submissive when I met someone on a vanilla site last year that introduced me to the concept of D/s after we'd been chatting for a while. It really struck a chord for me and I knew it was what I wanted. We didn't work out but I'll never go into anything with a man now without the D/s element in place. 

It didn't take any great amount of time to 'be ready'. I just started thinking about it, realized that was who I was  and what I needed was a way to submit to someone who wanted that from me- I never looked back. No introductory period or anything, it was just a relief to find the missing part of myself and put it in place asap.

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 6:35:22 PM   
Miwsi


Posts: 35
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline 		I must've been in denial most of my life, even though I had fantasies of being taken, controlled, possessed... BDSM or D/s lifestyle never really clued in until I was talking with my Dom online and somehow we were talking about how I felt about him, and what I would like to do with him... and when I found myself looking up certain things I wanted to do, I suddenly found myself looking at sites that touched on the lifestyle, and I remember as we were both speaking, I just suddenly realized that was what I felt for him; complete submission.

Then some time after that relationship fell, I was talking to my brother, (we're very close, hell, he's read my smuttiest smut for me)... and I remember I was in the back seat of their car when I described to he and his wife what I felt with Him and how I never felt this way for anyone, not my ex husband, not anybody until I met Him... and it all came out of me naturally, how strange and awesome it was, and my brother said, "Well... maybe that is what you want to be."

I went quiet, and blushed...  I realized then, he was right.

I'm not sure I will ever find that again and I am not pressing for it, I'll be happy either way so long as that relationship is full of love, trust and communication. Trust is something I have an issue with, it seems moreso every relationship that passes.

I am enjoying being single right now, that's for sure!

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 7:39:35 PM   
kitastrophe33


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

my Kens used to tie up my Barbies and engage them in tit torture play


I see tied up naked barbies all the time, but I'm trying to imagine simulating torturing a hard plastic tit.

(in reply to yummystuff)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 8:47:33 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

how did u know u were one and how long did it take to be ready

I've been aware of it for about fourteen years now, but realize that it's been my whole life in hindsight.
It only takes me about fifteen minutes to get ready in the morning....I'm fast like that. 


_____________________________



(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 8:58:49 PM   
Delphinus


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		He said "Would you like my email address?"  I said "Sure."  He said "Then ask me for my email address."  And my heart was pounding because here was the first order I had ever been given in my life and it felt soooo good.  In retrospect, I've had the typical signs all through childhood and adolescence, but that was the defining moment when I just knew.  Like someone poured a bucket of cold water over me, it just became so clear.  

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 9:02:24 PM   
Delphinus


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		"when i was a little girl, my Kens used to tie up my Barbies and engage them in tit torture play. "

I used to play strip Gong Show with my Barbies. They would strip on stage and do all sorts of strange things until they were "gonged". 



< Message edited by Delphinus -- 5/15/2009 9:03:47 PM >

(in reply to yummystuff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: question to submisives - 5/15/2009 9:23:41 PM   
Miwsi


Posts: 35
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delphinus

"when i was a little girl, my Kens used to tie up my Barbies and engage them in tit torture play. "

I used to play strip Gong Show with my Barbies. They would strip on stage and do all sorts of strange things until they were "gonged". 




Man, I grew up despising Barbie, I am elated to hear about young girls playing with Barbies and not going along with that prissy, vapid whore bit.  XD

(in reply to Delphinus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: question to submisives - 5/16/2009 12:42:10 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		i lived in a parent/child dynamic for a few years. initially i felt i was the dominant party, but learned after we parted ways that i really submitted on a large scale. up until that point i had never explored my submissiveness, but i felt a real pressing desire to do so. i have never looked back since then.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to kitastrophe33)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: question to submisives - 5/16/2009 4:22:43 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Miwsi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Delphinus

"when i was a little girl, my Kens used to tie up my Barbies and engage them in tit torture play. "

I used to play strip Gong Show with my Barbies. They would strip on stage and do all sorts of strange things until they were "gonged". 




Man, I grew up despising Barbie, I am elated to hear about young girls playing with Barbies and not going along with that prissy, vapid whore bit.  XD



lol...I remember I got grounded once because I gave all my Barbies mohawks and colored their hair blue with a magic marker...

(in reply to Miwsi)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: question to submisives - 5/16/2009 7:09:07 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex
how did u know u were one and how long did it take to be ready


Heh, I'm not a submissive, but still... does it really matter? I first even came to understand BDSM existed as something outside of porn at the age of 44. It took me about 18 months before my wife and I implemented it in our marriage. I spent that time in some serious study of the whole thing.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: question to submisives - 5/16/2009 7:12:49 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		be ready for what? be submissive how? nothing like an open ended question, jeez!

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: question to submisives - 5/16/2009 3:37:36 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderwhyicant

I was thirteen, when I started have an ongoing fantasy about the lifestyle, with me being kidnapped and sold as a sex slave. Since I was raised in a very religious house and very much protected from the outside world I was always embarassed about them.  When I grew up and went through my divorce I found out that this type of lifestyle was real I was extremely surprised. 

As for being ready, I have been ready to learn for 5  years now, I have just never found the right person yet.  I try and keep my head up and be positive, but it can be very hard and emotionally draining.


I had fantasies about being tied up by dominant women, and serving them as far back as I can remember.  I, too, thought I was the only one who felt this way.  I was very surprised to find this not uncommon at all.

However, I was young and attractive way before the internet and the more effective ways of meeting Dominant women.  As one gets older, the opportunities are fewer and fewer.  However, I have had a couple of real time experiences that get me through the long nights, reliving great memories.

(in reply to wonderwhyicant)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 2:30:38 AM   
womanworshipper


Posts: 71
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		Like many other respondents, i would say that i have always been a sub implicitly, but resisted it for a long time. In my case, i was in my thirties before i finally acknowledged that's what i was.

Up to then i was pursuing vanilla relationships with little success while secretly reading femdom magazines and fantasising about being dominated. Even after i acknowledged by submissive nature, it was still a rocky and uncertain road to the level of commitment i have today. There were a number of false starts and panicky flights back to the vanilla world before i managed to find a viable lifestyle.

Even now i have my moments of doubt, though these days they are little more than moments.

paul

(in reply to kitastrophe33)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 6:04:11 AM   
JoannaMaguire


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/4/2009
Status: offline 		I was born a sub My mother compeled me to be one by her dominance over both my father and me. I was introduced to real B&D by a woman I worked with who spotted me as a sub. She was a pro Mistress after working hours I over a period of time developed into a truely submisive because of her training to all types of B&D She later taught my wife to be a Domme and take over my life  I submited my self to her as a slave who was punished and disiplined me without mercy. I suffered a lot of pain and humiliation She however knew when to stop despite my begging for merct Then when she had finished I asked for more despite the welts and bruises I had that often took a month to go before she again disiplined my person. I love being kept hog tied unable to move or escape for hours blindfolded  gaged aches and pains because of being unable to move
Maidjoanna

(in reply to kitastrophe33)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 1:01:12 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex

how did u know u were one and how long did it take to be ready


When I realized fantasies I had that resembled being forced, where actually about being ‘taken’; and my aptitude for role playing, had nothing to do with ‘playing’.

I met with Sir (my first and present Dom) almost three years ago, not certain of anything other than I needed to know. I would say I was ready then.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 3:50:48 PM   
xtrmtrainedpet


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2009
Status: offline 		 It took a long time and lots of failed relationships for me to figure out i was submissive.  I could wrap any guy i was with around my little finger and then i became bored with them.  The first one that was dominant and i could not control blew my socks off!  That's how i figured it out...Thank Goodness!!!  

(in reply to kitastrophe33)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 5:16:41 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: psychomex

how did u know u were one and how long did it take to be ready


i've been submissive my entire life...i've always wanted Someone Else to "take charge" in my relationships, whether intimate or not, but, until a year and a half ago, i didn't know what it was called.  i had been through two failed vanilla marriages & just felt like there had to be "something more."  Then two different men on a vanilla site had wrote to me and said they were submissive & and i asked them "What's that?" they told me and that's when i realized "Hey!  That's me!"  i was almost 50 and i finally had a name for it.  they told me more about it and then i did some researching of my own on the internet.  October 2008 i had my first BDSM experience & it felt like i was finally home for the first time.  ~all smiles~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 5/17/2009 5:20:49 PM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to psychomex)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: question to submisives - 5/17/2009 8:28:18 PM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		I've always been submissive but due to various reasons I lived in denial until a couple of years ago.  I have played a bit but I am only just starting to understand and accept who I am.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 40
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