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RE: question to submisives - 5/20/2009 1:31:46 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

I realized there was a name for what I was feeling and wanting in college when gf at the time introduced me to some light bondage and dominance, the interwebs were just starting up and I was able to find out more about submission and that there were more than just me dealing with it.

Looking back, I can see tons of signals before that point that pointed to my submission though. I was probably in a lot of denial and fear about them though.

I don't know what 'ready' means in this context, ready to submit? ready to accept it? ready to what?

There are parts of me that are still conflicted over my desire to submit, but I think those will go away when I meet the right person and I'm in what appears to be my 'natural' state.

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RE: question to submisives - 5/22/2009 9:56:35 PM

kittenaaa

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/16/2009
Status: offline

i have a question. i have always known or should say had this deep feeling but also struggled for years with it. Fought it and also been afraid of it. What I want to know is does it come naturally. My Dom expects me to know everything and not to ask questions. An example he may tell me to eat and if I say but I am not hungary he gets mad. Its the little every day things that I have been doing for so long that I am struggling with. For the most part I obey him. He says that because things don't come naturally I am not a true sub and that these things can not be learned.

Kitten

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Post #: 42

RE: question to submisives - 6/8/2009 1:17:10 AM

alanatv

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/27/2007
Status: offline

at the age i 17 i found out i was a submissive person i was helping someone with some work around his house when after we finished he told me to have a shower ,i didnt think nothing of it untill when i finished my shower and dried ,i couldnt find any clothes . thats when he got hold of me and took me into his room made me dress as a woman ,dominated me and took me into the submissive lifestyle i so enjoy today ,sadly he moved away but i will never foget how he open up this wonderfull lifestyle for me

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RE: question to submisives - 6/8/2009 4:41:56 AM

Roguescharm

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

I don't remember when I first learned or heard about the terms/words for all this, but I'd felt a desire to surrender or be made to surrender to somebody else since I realised you could do things with boys other than just throw things at them.
I decided I was ready to go after what I wanted after my mum passed away. She'd spent a large part of the her last 10 years saying "one day". One day she'd go back to painting, one day she'd do the things she really wanted to. But that day never came and I decided I can't sit back and wait for what I want to drop into my lap, I need to go after it.

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Post #: 44

RE: question to submisives - 6/8/2009 5:39:25 AM

estah

Posts: 491
Joined: 5/2/2009
Status: offline

Greetings pyschomex,

I just always knew who I was. As to being ready, that would depend...ready to take the step to being a slave, I was always ready to make that step, being ready to be a full slave would be something different, as the definition is different for each person. For me it is a process of continual improvment and learning.

I was, I am and I always will be who I am.

(in reply to psychomex)

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Post #: 45

RE: question to submisives - 6/8/2009 8:30:45 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I notice there are 2 types of answers here; those that relate to "being one" (a sub) from the BDSM angle; and some from the D/s POV. So, some people related to the kink as a sub; and some related to being psychogically submissive from an early age.

I always knew I was different, I just didnt understand it. I was in a long and unhappy vanilla marriage for a long time. When it ended, it was a process but when I took my first steps down the path, there was a meteor shower of understanding. That was 3 years ago.

(in reply to ncbabe)

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Post #: 46

RE: question to submisives - 6/9/2009 8:34:46 AM

swimpecs

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/6/2009
From: UK
Status: offline

Although regrettably I am only recently started catching up with my mind's wishes/desires, I'm 100% sure I was a sub even before I knew anything about sex let alone bdsm. Some analysed it e.g. did I have very strict parents, was I physically punished a lot etc. - answers are actually no & no. Since forever, had a fixation on rope, whipping etc. scenes - wasn't erotically of course (yet) interested in it, just felt like something soooooooooo interesting. And always imagined I am captured like that, kept like that - was just a 'buzz'. So OK, I bet there are libraries filled on this subject alone, but some things may well be hard-wired and not gradually adapted to or developed in the mind (of a sub).

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RE: question to submisives - 6/9/2009 5:43:05 PM

ChasingOblivion

Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline

I've been submissive all my life, but I didn't know what it was or what it meant until about a year ago. I've always gotten satisfaction and a tremendous feeling of self-worth from pleasing and serving others, often, although certainly not always, in a sexual capacity. And I had always felt as though something was missing in my life, some part of me was not being fulfilled.
Up until about 3 years ago, I was very shy (I'm still shy in person, especially in crowds or with new people), sexually inexperienced, and terrified of almost everything, yet terribly lonely. It took a lot of work and support from friends and family, but I came to grips with my anxiety and depression (which were the root of my problems) and took charge of my life, taking the first step towards finding where I was meant to be.
I knew a bit about bdsm and D/s from friends and whatnot (anecdotely, not something they were into) , and I suspected I was submissive. But I had no idea of what to do about it, or how to find someone to help me, and I was terrified I would say something stupid and make a fool of myself or get hooked up with a mass murderer or something, so I just kind of filed it away.
I met my first Dom and mentor about a year ago, totally by accident through a mutual friend (actually he was her date and I shamelessly poached him) and he helped me find and explore my true self. I'd been ready for a long time, just needed the right teacher.
Ultimately, we weren't meant to be (for a variety of complicated reasons I won't go into here), but we're still great friends, and I'm optimistic that one day I'll find the one I'm meant to be with.

(in reply to swimpecs)

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Post #: 48