RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (Full Version)

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JstAnotherSub -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 5:09:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough And I don't get why people who are fit and not interested in someone overweight are viewed as shallow & narrow-minded. Why are they considered shallow and narrow-minded? Probably for the same reason that anyone else is considered shallow and narrow-minded: because of the way they speak and behave. snip that is exactly it to me. i am not attracted to men shorter than me, nor am i attracted to blonde men or redheaded men.....but i have never looked at a short man or a blonde man or a redheaded man and discounted them as a human being just because i wouldnt want to fuck them. i have never seen one on the street and went ewwwwwwww, they dont turn me on so they are disgusting! live and let live.......expending all this energy to hate someone is just not worth it

Ialdabaoth -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 5:19:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp Still not sure if you're saying that sociologically minorities, gays and other groups are considered deviant groups, without displaying deviant behaviors....i hope that's not the case. i think it may be a case of me being used to paragraphs or something.smile[/color] Well, in the cases of homosexuality and diet, for example, the perception is that the deviance is behavioral. In other cases, behavior which would normally be acceptable becomes deviant when people with the wrong status attempt to engage in it. (For example, think back 50 years to Rosa Parks). Just because we claim to have "gotten past all that" doesn't mean we're actually behaving as if we have.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 5:59:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp How pray tell, does one change outward signifiers such as skin color, Obviously, you don't. Sometimes the level of effort is infinite. Michael Jackson? [;)]

Ialdabaoth -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 6:45:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp How pray tell, does one change outward signifiers such as skin color, Obviously, you don't. Sometimes the level of effort is infinite. Michael Jackson? [;)] Heh. He came pretty close, didn't he? In a few years, maybe we'll finally have the technology to give anyone precisely the body they want.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 10:43:07 PM)
i've had a few large women confide in me that until they got in the WIITWD realm, they had almost zero social life. One lady told me "Submitting and getting an occasional spanking was a good trade for not being lonely." Now she said all this with a smile on her face, but i almost felt bad hearing it....i'm still not real sure why it struck me wrong.

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 10:46:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone i've had a few large women confide in me that until they got in the WIITWD realm, they had almost zero social life. One lady told me "Submitting and getting an occasional spanking was a good trade for not being lonely." Now she said all this with a smile on her face, but i almost felt bad hearing it....i'm still not real sure why it struck me wrong. That is so very, very sad.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/16/2009 10:48:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone i've had a few large women confide in me that until they got in the WIITWD realm, they had almost zero social life. One lady told me "Submitting and getting an occasional spanking was a good trade for not being lonely." Now she said all this with a smile on her face, but i almost felt bad hearing it....i'm still not real sure why it struck me wrong. That is so very, very sad. OMG! i KNOW....i felt awful listening to the words she was saying ...while smiling, it seemed like a very sad smile....but to be honest i was too chicken to ask her if she wanted to talk....it was a play party and not really the time[:(]

stella41b -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 12:01:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone i've had a few large women confide in me that until they got in the WIITWD realm, they had almost zero social life. One lady told me "Submitting and getting an occasional spanking was a good trade for not being lonely." Now she said all this with a smile on her face, but i almost felt bad hearing it....i'm still not real sure why it struck me wrong. This I'm inclined to believe. I could add to this my own personal observation that women who are much larger face a lot of the same difficulties as someone who is transgendered especially when it comes to social acceptance and passive hostility from others. I'm not knocking people for their preferences, we all have preferences and we all discriminate and it's something which to some extent is encoded deep within us. However being overweight is most often far more than just being fat and lazy and just like kindness and basic common manners a little consideration costs nothing. Obesity is a complex medical issue which is often linked to one's self-esteem and even self-acceptance, and those of us who are overweight do have eyes and possess mirrors and are very much aware that they are overweight and the last thing they need is someone who hardly knows them pointing it out to them.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 12:15:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone i've had a few large women confide in me that until they got in the WIITWD realm, they had almost zero social life. One lady told me "Submitting and getting an occasional spanking was a good trade for not being lonely." Now she said all this with a smile on her face, but i almost felt bad hearing it....i'm still not real sure why it struck me wrong. This I'm inclined to believe. I could add to this my own personal observation that women who are much larger face a lot of the same difficulties as someone who is transgendered especially when it comes to social acceptance and passive hostility from others. I'm not knocking people for their preferences, we all have preferences and we all discriminate and it's something which to some extent is encoded deep within us. However being overweight is most often far more than just being fat and lazy and just like kindness and basic common manners a little consideration costs nothing. Obesity is a complex medical issue which is often linked to one's self-esteem and even self-acceptance, and those of us who are overweight do have eyes and possess mirrors and are very much aware that they are overweight and the last thing they need is someone who hardly knows them pointing it out to them. i second this.... i also think its ashame that society makes it SO hard to "fit in" that some (not all of course) women feel being an "s" type and getting a spanking is "fair trade" for not being lonely. It makes me sad that #1 what i enjoy, being an "s" type is seen as something to be "put up with to not be lonely" and #2 that someone is lonely enough to put themselves in a relationship thats not want they WANT but what they "put up with." Seeing people in THAT kind of pain just sucks balls.[:(]

StrangerThan -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 9:17:11 AM)
No.

Andalusite -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 11:06:51 AM)
I really don't see how calling people names and being mean to them is going to lead to them losing weight. If anything, a lot of people gain weight when they're upset, since they link food to comfort, so those who so this are likely to lead to more obesity and overweight people. There's a big difference between being unattracted to people based on their weight, and being cruel to them. If you don't want to date one, don't initiate it, and if they contact you first, turn them down politely.

Phoenixpower -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 11:11:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse We are not special. [image]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_9_7.gif[/image] are we not???[image]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_9_9.gif[/image]time to go then...I always thought we were special... [image]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_9_8.gif[/image]

couldbemage -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 8:50:28 PM)
I don't get all these answers. I can only speak for the LA scene, but; Absolutely yes. Fatties are treated far better by the BDSM community than by the community at large. Big girls running around nearly naked do not get nearly the crap they'd get at any "normal" club. Not treated as well as pretty people, but old fat and ugly are better tolerated.

LadyPact -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 8:51:29 PM)
The fact that you even used the word "fatties" leads Me to believe otherwise.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 9:00:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: couldbemage I don't get all these answers. I can only speak for the LA scene, but; Absolutely yes. Fatties are treated far better by the BDSM community than by the community at large. Big girls running around nearly naked do not get nearly the crap they'd get at any "normal" club. Not treated as well as pretty people, but old fat and ugly are better tolerated. Wow. You're a catch. Hold me back.

DavanKael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 9:24:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Are there no other options? It seems that RedMagic expresses himself rather well in this thread, without being vicious or needlessly negative. Why not learn to follow his example, even if you do not find overweight people sexually attractive? Is it really such a pleasure to be working for the "Skinny Police", much less filled with hatred and anger, the way DavanKael is, that any human being on this planet could possible DARE to be fat? I think you've gone so far afield of my conceptualizations, ShaktiSama, as to be irretrievable. Davan

ShaktiSama -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/17/2009 11:04:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I think you've gone so far afield of my conceptualizations, ShaktiSama, as to be irretrievable. Davan I think the person who is unclear on their own "conceptualizations" and how they appear to others more sane is you. How about we just re-read your post with a little highlighting for emphasis, shall we? quote: I don't care if people want to get fat and die early. I do object to the whining demands about fat-acceptance. I do object to the limp excuses about why a person is that way. I object to them because I have to listen to the blathering; it permeates society. I am livid that my tax dollars go to care for people who have medical conditions because of their gluttony. I am disgusted that the medical system is overtaxed by needless illness because of over-indulgence. I think that people who make choices that directly negatively impact their health should have to shoulder that burden themselves. I will also go on to say that, perhaps most of all, I am revolted to read scientific articles that attribute some birth defects to obesity: yes, some babies are actually physically damaged by the fatness of the woman carrying them. That is, if the woman carrying the child is choosing to be that obese, in my opinion, criminal. I'm not really sure that a creature who is so counter-survival as to damage its' progeny in that way (And, come on, knowing one's unhealthily overweight pre-pregnancy and then feigning surprise that it can damage a fetus...well, that's just stupid!) ought be allowed to survive. This look in the mirror brought to you by Perspective, Incorporated.

DavanKael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 9:34:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I think you've gone so far afield of my conceptualizations, ShaktiSama, as to be irretrievable. Davan I think the person who is unclear on their own "conceptualizations" and how they appear to others more sane is you. This look in the mirror brought to you by Perspective, Incorporated. I dislike the implication of shouting made by highlighted words and, rest assured that I am abundantly clear about everything I have said. Perhaps the most important point throughout all of my posts in this thread (Not only the one you chose to highlight) is the ever elusive personal responsibility. You post often and some of your posts are astute but you often go off on your own assumptions rather than seeking to understand. So, go ahead back and read my posts on the thread, all of them, and if you have further comment, by all means, cmail me. Or, if you take a moment to ask a question rather than to ass ume, I'll be glad to speak to my own thought processes as I am quite capable. Again, folks, imo, it's largely about personal responsibility. Davan

couldbemage -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 10:58:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The fact that you even used the word "fatties" leads Me to believe otherwise. Fat folk are tolerated, not idolised. The very word "tolerated" implies that the thing being tolerated is bad. I don't mistreat fat folk, but I don't think fat is hot. There is nothing good about being fat, but it's okay to be imperfect. People have faults. Faults are normal. ...and I despise PC people. Like the whole BBW crowd. Fat makes you not beautiful. Deal with it. Hey, an ugly face also makes you not beautiful. Life ain't fair.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 11:05:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: couldbemage quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The fact that you even used the word "fatties" leads Me to believe otherwise. Fat folk are tolerated, not idolised. The very word "tolerated" implies that the thing being tolerated is bad. I don't mistreat fat folk, but I don't think fat is hot. There is nothing good about being fat, but it's okay to be imperfect. People have faults. Faults are normal. ...and I despise PC people. Like the whole BBW crowd. Fat makes you not beautiful. Deal with it. Hey, an ugly face also makes you not beautiful. Life ain't fair. Speaking from personal experience with that are you?[sm=duel.gif]LMAO....sorry just couldn't resist.

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