RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

DemonKia -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 5:19:44 PM)
If I'm remembering correctly, it's precisely the discussion of the caryatid sculpture that speaks most strongly to this point. Again, if I'm remembering correctly, Ben has the strongest reaction of revulsion to the caryatid. He says something like, 'the pretty girl I get, & the old lady who still harbors the pretty girl inside I get, but why on earth would the artist do that' kinda thing, & then Jubal really starts to talk about some of the depths of what artists try to convey, the complexity & sweep of emotion & narrative that can be contained in one static image (2D, 3D, whatever media) . . . . . . One of my favorite parts of the uncut version. Bob would have been fun to tour a museum with . . . . [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael Hi Demon Kia---- I love, absolutely love, that you referenced the discussion Jubal and Ben had in "Stranger..." I think you're talking about the aged woman's sculpture when Ben says it's ugly, saying the mermaid figure is far more beautiful, and Jubal goes on to discuss why the woman is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen because through the 'ugliness' of age, one can see the beauty shine through. That spiritual sense is what I believe you are discussing as well as what Jubal was discussing. So true! :> Jubal also 'schools' Ben on another sculpture Rodin's 'Fallen Caryatid'/'Caryatid Fallen Under Her Stone'. I truly love and begin to grok that sculpture; I have a copy of it (And did, actually, before I'd read "Stranger..." in its entirety). That work, Jubal tells Ben, is a monument to those people who went down trying, those who shouldered burdens that were far too heavy to bear; he speaks of honor and duty. He waxes wonderfully poetic about the diminutive female form and how she was doomed to be crushed under the column. He champions the antithesis of victim playing; he sings the praises of determination and fortitude in the face of certain defeat. Thank you for the smile your reference gave me! :> Davan

Andalusite -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 7:34:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO After reading through this entire thread....which could almost be considered torture....The above quote is, in my honest opinion, the best way to deal with someone you aren't attracted to. Plain and simple. Thanks, CarrieO! Kia, I found the two quotes, with pictures of the respective statues. Thanks for the reminder about them! http://pc.blogspot.com/2007/03/repost-la-belle-heaulmiere-by-rodin.html http://ronnisrants.blogspot.com/2007/10/rodins-fallen-caryatid.html

GotSteel -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 8:33:39 PM)
Seems this thread has degenerated into name calling........maybe this will jump start some actual discussion: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038402/Why-fat-friend-make-fat-well.html http://library.pchrd.dost.gov.ph/index.php/news-archive/487

DavanKael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 9:07:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia If I'm remembering correctly, it's precisely the discussion of the caryatid sculpture that speaks most strongly to this point. Again, if I'm remembering correctly, Ben has the strongest reaction of revulsion to the caryatid. He says something like, 'the pretty girl I get, & the old lady who still harbors the pretty girl inside I get, but why on earth would the artist do that' kinda thing, & then Jubal really starts to talk about some of the depths of what artists try to convey, the complexity & sweep of emotion & narrative that can be contained in one static image (2D, 3D, whatever media) . . . . . . One of my favorite parts of the uncut version. Bob would have been fun to tour a museum with . . . . [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael Totally with you: one of my favorite parts of the book as well! :> That I'm not remembering the names of the statues he discussed beyond the Caryatid means it's time for another re-read of "Stranger..." (It's rather my touch-point book) Same conversation, different statue. I think the old woman statue was called something like "She who was the beautiful Huelmarie" or something like that. Jubal basically goes on this lovely diatribe about no woman ever ageing beyond 18 in her mind despite the ravages of time, etc. The Caryatid was a different statue. In typical Jubal style, he points out how she was a good girl who tried to bear too much. I think that it's the same conversation and then he tells Ben he rations himself in viewing. So, if I'm remembering correctly: 1 is beauty within despite what the ravages of time do to us (Which, in this thread, could lean nicely to the potential beauty in people regardless of form). The other is stalwart dedication, not complaining (To me, this leans to the personal responsibility stance). I thought your pick amalgamated several thought-processes beautifully! :> And, yes, that man in a museum! He would have been wonderful! :> Davan (Who needs to re-read "Stranger..." and is rather looking forward to revisitng comfortable friends! :> )

DavanKael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 9:09:19 PM)
Ooh, Andalusite, you got it! :> Cool! :> Those are the statues. Davan

ShaktiSama -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 9:33:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel Seems this thread has degenerated into name calling........maybe this will jump start some actual discussion: rolls her eyes Yay. More phrenology. I love crappy science-for-bigots.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/18/2009 11:24:53 PM)
My view is that given that I can't decide to be thin tomorrow the way I'd decide to change my hairstyle or haircolor, I might as well be happy. I don't consider, when I'm weeding the garden, or walking to the store because I'm unexpectedly out of flour that it's good exercise. I enjoy the fresh air, the sensation of my body freely moving and working, and the task getting done. And to be quite honest, I've made the decision that I'm going to stay plus-sized. I've got a genetically very curvy form, and since fashion designers really don't design for that, I'll have to drop to a very thin size at the waist to get the boobs and butt into standard sizing. And I just don't really feel that it's worth the mental effort to do it if I can't walk into a store and just buy stuff that catches my eye. Which I won't be able to, thanks to the T&A issue. So I'm going to drop overall poundage, since I have knee issues and the bad foot, and they'd appreciate less. But I'll stay an eighteen, so that I can find clothes, and not have to screw about with in-between sizing, and because quite a few people in my life like their goddesses with curves and a relaxed laugh.

LadyPact -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 6:14:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: couldbemage quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: couldbemage quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The fact that you even used the word "fatties" leads Me to believe otherwise. Fat folk are tolerated, not idolised. The very word "tolerated" implies that the thing being tolerated is bad. I don't mistreat fat folk, but I don't think fat is hot. There is nothing good about being fat, but it's okay to be imperfect. People have faults. Faults are normal. ...and I despise PC people. Like the whole BBW crowd. Fat makes you not beautiful. Deal with it. Hey, an ugly face also makes you not beautiful. Life ain't fair. Well, we tolerate ignorant, superficial types in the lifestyle, too, so I guess we're even. Oddly enough, I can't recall a single event that I've attended that anyone made Me aware that I was being tolerated because I'm not thin. I don't remember it ever being a barrier to becoming a decent top. Never once have I heard anyone say they didn't want to attend a demo of Mine due to My weight. Life should be interesting when I get to CA in a few months. This reads like fevrent dissagreement, but is actually in agreement with my original point. I would suppose that most the people that anwered the OP with "no" really meant that bdsm folk don't find fat any more attractive that 'nillas do. The difference being that "we" don't heap abuse on unnattractive people. I, of course, failed to see this phenomenon through rose goggles. I even had the temerity to eschew PC terminology. Even diss the BBW lunies. Adjective plus qualifier deletes adjective. Fat is not good. Pretending it is doesn't make it so. Changing words doesn't help either. The personal attacks... hah! At least 2 people responded with some varient of "beauty doesn't exist/matter" Which is what you really mean when you say everyone is beautiful. After reading your belief that what I had written was an agreement, I had to check the profile. The original question in the thread was are BDSM folks better at size acceptance. If you look a few pages back, you will find that My original answer was no. To be quite honest, I think many of the responses in this thread have proven that to be true. Being involved in BDSM doesn't make us any better about prejudices than anybody else. For the record, I also didn't say that everyone is beautiful. The fact that people can have a broader definition than just physical appearance, in My opinion, allows those with inner beauty to shine. Of course, the opposite is true as well. Most people want nothing to do with those who are quite ugly on the inside, even when the outside is very appealing. People, of course, are entitled to their preferences for their intimate relationships. I would never say otherwise. Some may find better things to determine those preferences other than weight, such as experience or skill. One last thing though. If you would like to give Me an English lesson, could you try to do it the next time with fewer spelling errors?

LaTigresse -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 7:08:47 AM)
Smiling...........just smiling. And thank you Andalusite for linking the photos of those sculptures. The first reflects something I am working on based upon a dream I had. I just have to figure out the limitations of my fun, new medium. Suuuuuuuper Sculpey!

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 7:17:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel Seems this thread has degenerated into name calling........maybe this will jump start some actual discussion: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038402/Why-fat-friend-make-fat-well.html http://library.pchrd.dost.gov.ph/index.php/news-archive/487 OMG!!!....i caught FATTNESS!!!! HELP....SOMEONE HELP!!! [sm=mrpuffy.gif]

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 7:41:46 AM)
Des, I have a question... on another thread, you excused inappropriate behaviors for an individual with a mental illness, saying that a person's illness may be really hard to manage, and xhe shouldn't be held responsible for not being able to control hirself all the time. Then, you turn around here, and castigate individuals who are likely to be dealing with another set of -equally- mentally-based illnesses (food addiction, binge eating disorder, 'rescue' eating, etc.). I guess what I'm asking is, what makes the person dealing with recalcitrant depression or bipolar disorder different, in your mind, from someone dealing with recalcitrant binge-eating disorder, aside from the realization that the binge-eating person's illness shows in hir physical body and makes it apparent that xhe isn't "normal"? Especially when it is a documented fact that both illnesses (and compulsive overeating, food addiction, etc.) are equally as responsive (or unresponsive) as bipolar disorder and depression to medication/behavioral therapy. References: 1:Reas DL, Grilo CM. Review and meta-analysis of pharmacotherapy for binge-eating disorder.* Obesity (Silver Spring). 2008 Sep;16(9):2024-38. 2: Azorin JM, Kaladjian, A. An update on the treatment of bipolar disorder. Expert Opin Pharmacother. 2009 Feb;10(2):161-72. 3. Frazetto, G. Drugs Don't Work For Everyone: Doubts about the efficacy of antidepressants renew debates over the medicalization of common distress. EMBO Rep. 2008 Jul;9(7):605-8.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 7:47:13 AM)
[sm=danger.gif]. STOP, DROP, and ROLLS........

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 7:50:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp [sm=danger.gif]. STOP, DROP, and ROLLS........ i'm TRYING.....It WON'T come OFF!!! Oh what shall i DOOOOO [sm=insane.gif]

Andalusite -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 8:26:51 AM)
Davan, are you still going to re-read Stranger? [:D] LaT, they came up right away when I searched for the quotes, and I think they have even more impact when you can actually see what he's talking about. GotSteel, I don't think this study is going to be borne out by future research in a direct causative fashion - it's not like second hand smoke giving other people cancer. LadyPact, I think some communities are more welcoming/accepting than others (not just toward bigger people, but in general), and the same goes for individuals. I can't compare it to the South, since I've only visited there for a week, twice, but I doubt anyone will treat you badly after your move out here. I hope you'll be able to get up to the Bay Area for the occasional fetish event or whatever, and I'd love to meet you! I hope the move goes smoothly for you, and that you find some compatible local guys to play with once you get out here. I don't think Central CA has as much of a formal BDSM scene, but there are a lot of people from CM in that area.

stella41b -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 1:20:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel Seems this thread has degenerated into name calling........maybe this will jump start some actual discussion: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038402/Why-fat-friend-make-fat-well.html http://library.pchrd.dost.gov.ph/index.php/news-archive/487 Why bother to come up with such drivel in the first place? Wouldn't it be better to own one's issues and admit 'I am a body fascist' or 'I am a bigot' or even 'I enjoy putting down fat people even if the complexities of obesity are way beyond my intellectual reasoning capabilities'? You know if one was to dish out the same treatment to someone else because they were black, Latino, Jewish, female, gay, lesbian, Muslim, kinky, there would be uproar, it would be outrageous. I don't get why people seem to believe it's open season on fat people just because they are perceived to have a choice and are perceived to be fat and lazy. Ah but you see while they may have issues and those issues may be visible, those issues are often far more complex than we assume (for so few ever really try to understand) and it might just be the case that the overweight themselves might be struggling with those issues or they might even be actually dealing with those issues and losing weight. Why the need to quote dubious statistics from even more dubious studies or express through false platitudes fake concern for their health and wellbeing when you don't really give a sh*t because it blows your arguments out of the water? The victim blaming strategy doesn't wash. You jumped to the conclusion, you made the judgment and formed the opinion, it's your issue - own it.

Bstardsbitch -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 1:28:03 PM)
You know if one was to dish out the same treatment to someone else because they were black, Latino, Jewish, female, gay, lesbian, Muslim, kinky, there would be uproar, it would be outrageous. I think the difference is, that Latino, Jewish or anything else is something someone can't help. In MOST cases.....note the MOST, obesity or being overweight can be helped. It's down to taking personal responsibility for what you put into your mouth and how much exercise you take. Even here in the UK, you can see it every day, overweight parents with overweight children. It's just wrong....so wrong. Personal responsibilty in my opinion, and for those overweight that play the I have issue" card, well.......... Sorry I didn't read the whole thread so if this has already come up, please ignore lol. cc

Mezrem -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 2:48:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch You know if one was to dish out the same treatment to someone else because they were black, Latino, Jewish, female, gay, lesbian, Muslim, kinky, there would be uproar, it would be outrageous. I think the difference is, that Latino, Jewish or anything else is something someone can't help. In MOST cases.....note the MOST, obesity or being overweight can be helped. It's down to taking personal responsibility for what you put into your mouth and how much exercise you take. Even here in the UK, you can see it every day, overweight parents with overweight children. It's just wrong....so wrong. Personal responsibilty in my opinion, and for those overweight that play the I have issue" card, well.......... Sorry I didn't read the whole thread so if this has already come up, please ignore lol. cc By all means you have a right to be what ever you wish to be and like what you like. I am over weight... If or when I wish to change it enough I will change that reality. In fact I have made some progress to that matter already... but for my own reasons. I had a talk with my other just a few days ago about this thread. I think that even if I was down to what the medical field called my ideal weight I will still send out pictures of me at my heaviest to the people here.. because well I am not sure I want to meet people like you. Is it beause you told the truth.. no it's beause you use what you like to rule other people unfit without knowing really anything about them. You have all but said above that over weight people have over weight children and it's wrong.. tell you what I would rather see a child raised by over weight people then to see some of the horrid things that can and do happen to them every day. Just my two cents.. but it's mine.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 2:54:00 PM)
quote: you can see it every day, overweight parents with overweight children. It's just wrong....so wrong. The nerve of these people passing on their DNA to their children....they should be tied to a tree, and shot! [sm=blasted.gif]

LaTigresse -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 2:55:01 PM)
Actually fat people do not always have fat children. My exhusband's mother was quite overweight and all 4 of her children are very slender. People need to quit coming up with bullshit "factoids" to justify their predjudices.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/19/2009 2:57:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp quote: you can see it every day, overweight parents with overweight children. It's just wrong....so wrong. The nerve of these people passing on their DNA to their children....they should be tied to a tree, and shot! [sm=blasted.gif] Come on now... it IS more than JUST DNA, couple that with bad habits, and (well you know the rest)

Page: << < prev 9 10 [11] 12 13 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875